Something Else

If I believed I knew John well before Vito's departure, I was sadly mistaken. As the tour progressed, so did the time John and I spent together. Unfortunately, any time spent together at the local, was forgotten by John the next morning. After Vito's farewell party, I'd decided to keep going out with the boys, and that meant witnessing John getting well pissed every time. Somehow, I found myself pulling John back to the bus every time, and calling Garrett to help me get him up the stairs and into bed.

As tour continued, so did our routine, but it wasn't always bad. Days when John stayed sober were frequent, and it was then that I really saw how we would become so close. John had a way of making me laugh at the drop of a hat. A single look would send me into fits of laughter. I admired his passion. I'd often find him in his bunk, or even in the lounge with the guys, writing songs. His rare but brilliant chivalry peeked its head out a few times, mostly when with fans, but sometimes with me. There were things about John that would never change, of course. The playful banter we’d been accustom to in high school stayed, and maybe got a bit worse. He also always had time to slip in a line now then. I didn’t seem to mind as much anymore. The time John and I spent by ourselves were primarily what brought us together. We'd step out together for a smoke, and then fall into deep conversations about writers and philosophy. Those were the moments I lived for on that tour, because figuring this new John out was so interesting.

By the time we were heading back to Arizona, John and I had been through enough to truly consider ourselves friends. I had initially hoped that, once John was back home, his drinking would subside as well. "It's only 'cause I get nervous," he'd told me one night on tour. My hope, unfortunately, was for naught, and Eric Halvorsen's 'Welcome Back' party was the first time I saw that.

;;

"The party isn't for me, Ken. It's for you guys. I don't see why I should be there. I won't know anybody."

After being around boys for a couple months, I really just wanted to spend some time at home with my mum, but Kennedy was having none of that. The day he found out, he'd called me about three times to try and get me to come, but I kept giving him reasons not to. I'd spent enough time out with the guys on tour, and if you were me, you'd want a few days without the as well.

"All the more reason! You've got to meet everyone else. Halvo misses you too."

"I've probably talked to Eric three times in my life," I argued. "He hardly knows me."

"Doesn't mean he didn't have a mega crush on you in school."

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "Halvo had a crush on every girl in school," I pointed out.

"It doesn't matter. Come on, KC! What happen to the cool New York girl?"

"She came home," I said.

Kennedy was silent for a moment, and so was I. I hadn't meant for the statement to be sentimental in any way, but it was. New York had made me less naïve, and a little edgier, but Arizone made me feel like me. Kennedy and John made me feel like me. And it'd been a long time since I felt that way.

"I'm glad you did," Ken finally whispered.

"Me too." I waited another moment and then said, "Alright, I guess one last crazy night with you guys won't hurt."

Kennedy's cheering made him drop the phone and our call was ended.

;;

Three raps at the door woke me from the first nap I'd had in my house in years. I called for mum to answer the door, but it seemed as if I was alone in the house. I groaned and stood from the couch. As I passed the window, I noticed that my mum's car had gone, and that a familiar white truck had taken its place. I smiled and hurried a little faster to open the door.

"Hey, K," John greeted as he stepped inside.

"What are you doing here, Johno?" I asked curiously.

"Just stopping by. Ken said you're gonna come to the party tonight."

I nodded as john and I sat back down on the sofa I'd just been sleeping on. Although John had answered my question, he hadn't given a very valid answer, so I asked again if he came for any particular reason.

"Nah," he said. "I just came from Santino's house. He lives, like, three minutes away, so I thought I’d stop by to say hello."

"As if I haven't seen you in ages."

John smiled beside me, and it made me smile too. We were silent then, which didn’t happen much with us. I sat down beside him on the couch, and then fiddled with my fingers in my lap. Back then I thought we were acting so strangely because we were home. We'd grown together on tour, and I thought, maybe we didn’t know how to be friends again at home. I was wrong of course. I know that now.

"Do you want to just stay here until the party?" I asked, turning to John. "I need a ride anyway. Haven't got a ride yet."

John smiled and nodded."You missed the truck."

"Maybe a little bit."

Our laughter filled the room and things went back to normal. John and I talked about what I planned to do since I was back at home. I told him about the space I'd found for the gallery and pulled my mac out to show him some pieces I wanted. We shared a fag, and John talked about the guys' writing for the new album. For the last half hour before the party, we read. It was something that began on tour. John found me reading John Keats poems one night when I couldn't sleep, and asked to read them to me instead. He had hoped it would let me fall asleep, but it only made me more awake. John had a real gift with reading poetry, and I laid awake with him for hours trading the book back and forth and discussing romantic poets. There was something about the scruff in his voice when he read to me that kept me fascinated. The day of Halvo's party was no different, because we'd read until we realized we were at least half an hour late to the party.

"Christ," Austin said as he met us at Halvo's door. "Where have you two been?"

At the beginning of the fall tour, Austin and I definitely rubbed each other the wrong way. Well, maybe it was just me, but somehow, he redeemed himself once Vito had left. Once he realized that I was never going to give into his derogatory idea of flirting, he'd offered to be friends. I was against it at first, because I believed he was pig, but he'd made all the shit he said up to me. Now, any flirty remark he made was complimentary. It turned out Austin had a pretty big heart.

"Lost track of time," John answered as he stepped through the door behind me.

Austin immediately grabbed hold of my arm, pulling my eyes back to him. I watched as his eyebrows wiggled suggestively. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"You two been 'shagging'?" He asked with a horrible imitation of my accent.

John punched him in the shoulder quickly after the comment and Austin shook his head to show that he was joking. John and I split up as soon as we were in the living room. He disappeared toward the alcohol, and I went in search of Kennedy. Thinking back, I should have pulled him with me.