Rebel Love Song

“Lily? Come on honey you’re gonna be late.” I called. It was a few weeks after my date with Jake and Lily’s first day of preschool after Jules passed. We’d been letting her stay at home to let her get acclimated to the new living situation and also to let her grieve.

“I don’t wanna go.” Lily had her little arms crossed over her chest.

“You can’t stay home all the time.” I crouched down to her level.

“I wanna stay here with you and Jakey.” Her bottom lip trembled.

“I wish you could stay here with us too but you have to go.”

“Why?” Crouching like this was starting to hurt my thighs so I plunked down on the floor and sat her in my lap.

“It’s not for long, I promise sweetie.” I kissed her temple. “It’s only for a few hours every day, remember? It’ll be fun.”

“Promise?” Lily held out her pinky to me and I wrapped mine around hers.

“Promise.” I stood up with her still in my arms. “Jake, you ready?”

“Been waiting on you slowpokes.” He said, grinning as he walked in. “Are you driving or am I?”

“I have an appointment in like an hour so you better drive.” I carried Lily out to the car and got her buckled in.

There was a crowd of kids milling around the grassy field in front of the preschool. Lily was clinging to my hand for dear life as we got closer and closer.

“Hey.” Jake knelt down next to Lily. “You’re gonna be just fine kiddo.” She flung her arms around his neck and he stroked her hair gently. “Come on now. We’re gonna walk you in and talk to the teacher for a little bit.” He carried her into the building, me trailing behind him a little. We were getting some stares from the more conservatively dressed parents. I’d worn my boots with the chains on the ankles, a leather jacket and ripped up jeans. Jake had his usual jeans-Vans-wife beater combo and a leather jacket, although his hair alone was enough to make people stare.

We located the teacher pretty easily and waited for the crowd of parents to disperse. When she finally got around to us, I could tell she was a little weirded out by us.

“Hi, I’m Sky Vincent and this is Jake Pitts.” I said, holding my hand out for her to shake. “We’re Lily Collins’s godparents.”

“I’m Melissa. Where’s Jules?” For a preschool teacher, she’s not very tactful.

“She passed away last month. We’re her legal guardians.” Jake said.

“We just wanted to introduce ourselves and let you know about our situation.” I explained.

“It was nice to meet you.” As soon as she said that we knew it was safe to run for it, so we waved goodbye to Lily and bolted.

“That was the most awkward conversation I’ve ever had.” Jake said when we were safely in the car.

“Not even the conversation where I told you we had to raise Lily together?” I asked.

“That one was more shocking than awkward. So where am I dropping you off?” I gave him the address. We pulled up in front of Wandering Canvas, the place where I got all my tattoos.

“Getting a new tattoo?” He said.

“Yep. I’ll call you when I’m done, kay?” I gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before getting out of the car.

We were taking it slow. So slow that a snail could probably beat us to home plate. I didn’t want to, but I was forcing myself to slow down, to make sure that this was really working out for us. The last thing I wanted was to rush things and then put Lily through another upheaval when things went to shit.

“Hey Sky.” My usual guy, Frankie said from his station.

“Sup Frankie.” I sat down and we got to work.

Before I knew it, I was the proud owner of a brand new tattoo on my hand. Frankie bandaged it up for me and then I called Jake to come get me.

“So lemme see your ink.” Jake said when I opened the door. I unwrapped the bandage from around my pinky, where “Promise” had been written in simple black script.

“For Lily and Jules.” I said as an explanation. “I’ve never broken a pinky promise.”

“I like it.” He rewrapped it for me, his long fingers moving gently so as to not irritate the fresh tattoo.

“It’s time to go get Lily. I hope she was okay.” I twisted my fingers together and winced when it pulled on my tattoo.

“I’m sure she was fine. And if not, is there really anything we could do to make it better?” He had a point there.

“I wish Jules and Zack were here.” I hated myself the minute the words came out of my mouth.

“I do too Sky.” Without taking his eyes off the road he reached over and laced his fingers through mine. “But we are going to raise their child the best we can and love her just as much as they did.”

“I know.” My eyes were starting to water. “I just….I want my sister back.” He pulled into the parking lot and turned the car off.

“Hey.” He turned to me. “Don’t cry.” He leaned over the console to give me a hug. I couldn’t stifle the sob that filled my throat. “Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay.” He rubbed my back and I could feel him kissing the side of my head every few moments.

I finally sat up and wiped my eyes, completely and totally cried out. I was gonna have one helluva headache tonight.

“I’ll go get Lily.” He kissed my forehead and headed out through the parking lot. We must have been early when we first pulled in, because there was a whole crowd of parents now.

A few minutes later Jake came back, carrying Lily. He buckled her into her seat before getting back in the driver’s seat.

“Every mom looked at me like I was a pedophile.” He shook his head at my giggling.

“How’d it go kiddo?” I asked, looking into the backseat. The whole way home was a babbling stream of Lily’s day and her new friends and the playhouse and the teachers. When I picked her up to go into the house, she saw the bandage on my hand.

“Did you get hurt?” She demanded.

“No, I got a new picture.” She always called my tattoos “pictures.” “I’ll show you it later. Right now it’s time for you to take a nap.”

“Fine.” She pouted, but she let me change her into her pajamas and tuck her into bed.

I lay flat on my bed, all the lights off and the blinds closed. In the artificial darkness my cry-over would hopefully disappear. And it was working until Jake decided to come in and turn on the lights.

“Ow. Jesus, turn the light off.” I almost smacked myself in the face covering my eyes.

“Sorry.” I felt him sit down next to me. “I thought you might like the company.”

“Thanks Jakey.” I had taken off my jacket, so I could feel the heat from him through his shirt when I put my arm over his waist. “You make a great pillow by the way.”

“I’ve been told that.” He kissed the top of my head. I couldn’t tell you how much time passed while we were holding each other. Just that it was like every wonderful thing you could think of tossed in a blender.

“You smell really fucking good too.” I murmured. I could feel the vibrations of his laughing from where my head was on his chest. “Hey, it’s true.”

“I think we need to get Sammi and Jeremy to take Lily so we can go on another date.”

“That would be nice.”

“Good, then it’s settled.”

“Mhm. Stop talking now, you’re ruining your cuddliness.”