Rebel Love Song

I woke up with my head on Jake’s shoulder, my legs twisted at an unnatural angle opposite my body. “Oh joy.” I mumbled, moving so that everything was lined up again. Jake stirred and shifted in his sleep. According to the clock on the phone next to the bed, I still had two hours before I had to get up.

So I snuggled right back in where I was and tried not to drool because of how good Jake smelled. Or how good he looked-I’m fucked. Completely and totally fucked.

I closed my eyes and opened them what felt like a second later to find two hours had passed and Jake was shaking me awake.

“Huh?” I opened one eye.

“Time to get up sunshine.” He probably couldn’t move his arm because I was lying on it. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. “I’m gonna go shower.” He got out of the bed and I tried and failed to not check out his ass.

“I’ll be sleeping.” I fell back onto the pillows. He shook me awake again when he was done with his shower.

When you take a man who is naturally attractive, add tattoos and eyeliner, and then dress him in a black wifebeater and black jeans and put him in front of me, you’re asking for me to explode. He was probably talking to me but I didn’t hear him.

“I’m gonna go get shoes and my bag and I’ll be ready.” I said, finally getting out of his bed. I wasn’t willing to get dressed and get on a plane in tight jeans. All I did was put on a hoodie and a bra and some shoes.

“Do you want some coffee?” He asked when I came out of my room.

“I’ll get some Starbucks at the airport.” My hangover was throbbing a little but it would pass soon. So we got in the car and headed to the airport. “When I come back we’re gonna be parents.”

“There’s a scary thought.” He looked thoughtful.

“I’m just glad you’re the godfather and not freaking Ashley or something.” He busted up laughing.

“And I’m glad that Lily knows you so she isn’t completely out of her element.”

“She’s gonna have some badass parents. Can you imagine us going to Open House or something?”

“In full warpaint.” He laughed.

“Oh for sure dude. Can’t forget the full body makeup and the ripped clothing.”

“And the inverted crosses.” We were both laughing like idiots when we pulled into the parking garage.

“Call me when you land, okay?” Jake and I were standing at the foot of the escalator that would take me up to the security checkpoint. This was as far as he could go with me.

“I’m probably gonna come home with a bunch of junk from my grandma.” I shook my head. “The woman puts Boy Scouts to shame in the preparedness department.”

“She loves you, that’s easy to tell.” He moved, hesitated and then hugged me. I hugged him back, reveling in the feeling of hugging someone. All around us there were couples doing the same thing, some kissing goodbye, some crying.

“I’ll see you in a couple days.” I said, finally forcing myself to step back.

“Have a good flight.” He squeezed my hand and disappeared into the crowd.

An hour later I was in my seat which was thankfully by the window. I was already planning to sleep the four hours that I’d be on this godforsaken plane.

When we finally landed I almost bolted out of the plane and headed straight for the taxi line. Since I’d brought my clothes and stuff in a carry-on I didn’t have to go through the luggage carousel or anything. As I walked, I pulled my phone out and dialed Jake’s number.

“Hey, I just landed in Philly.” I said when he picked up.

“How was the flight?” He asked.

“The big dude next to me kept farting and stole my armrest.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“Oh it was joyous.” I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn’t see me. “Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I landed okay.”

“All right. Give the munchkin a hug from me.”

“Will do. Bye.” I hung up and flagged down a taxi. An hour later, we pulled up the weathered farmhouse. My grandma was sitting on the porch with Lily.

“Auntie Sky!” Lily sprinted towards me, her little black braid bouncing on her back.

“Hey kiddo.” I scooped her up in a hug. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” She buried her face in my hair.

“Hi Grandma.” I leaned down and kissed her downy cheek.

“How was the flight?” She asked. I told her what I’d told Jake and she shook her head. “Poor thing.”

“I’m okay. Happy to be home.” This was my original home. Jules and I were raised by our grandma, seeing as Dad was in the Navy and Mom had bailed. I could still hear the echoes of our laughter and see the ghosts of two little girls racing through the rooms. I felt a lump grow in my throat and I looked down at Lily. “You know Jake has a dog right?”

“He does? Is it cute? What’s its name?” She demanded.

“Hold on little one, lemme get my phone so I can show you.” I sat down on the couch and dug my phone out to show her the picture of Trixy I’d taken just for this purpose. “Her name is Trixy and she’s a sweetie.”

“When are we going home?” Lily asked.

“Tomorrow night. Now what do I have to do to get some food around here?” My grandma made the best cookies and I could smell them baking.

“The cookies are almost done cooling.” Grandma called from the kitchen. I let out a squeal of happiness and bounced into the kitchen, Lily on my heels.

“Yay cookies!” I cheered.

“Did you ever grow up?” Grandma shook her head but she was smiling.

“Never. I’m still an eight year old.” I grinned, swiping a cookie from the tray and pouring a glass of milk for Lily and one for me.

“That I can believe.” Grandma put a plate of cookies on the table and between the three of us, it was gone in half an hour. Well, Lily only had a couple so she would be able to sleep.

Once Lily was tucked in and well on her way to dreamland, I headed into my grandma’s room. I had such bad déjà vu. All I could think about was rainy nights when Jules, Grandma and I would cuddle up under a quilt in Grandma’s big bed and drink hot chocolate and listen to the rain on the roof.
Now its just me and Grandma. It was raining and we did have hot chocolate, but it felt wrong without Jules.

“Is everything set up for Lily?” Grandma asked, gnarled hands wrapped around her mug.

“Yep. We’ve got her room all set up and ready for her.” I took a sip of my hot chocolate. I could never make it this good.

“How’s Jake?”

“Good. He seems like he’s ready and willing to do this.”

“He’s a good man.” I nodded. “Good men are in short supply.”

“Don’t I know it.” I muttered into my cup.

“You should marry him.” I almost choked on the boiling hot chocolate.

“Grandma, I can’t just marry someone. There’s gotta be some kind of…spark.”

“You have plenty of spark. All the Vincent women have spark.”

“I meant there has to be some kind of reciprocated affection. I can’t just marry him against his will.”

“Well, there’s clearly an affection from your end. Just work on that.” I can’t believe I’m actually having this conversation with her.

“Grandma, just, no. Jake is great and yes, I do like him, but Lily is the most important thing right now and I don’t want to screw her over if things end badly.”

“Sometimes you have to ignore your mind and listen to your heart.”

“Thank you sensei.” I rolled my eyes when she wasn’t looking.

“I saw that Skylar.” I forgot that she has eyes in the back of her head. I’ve missed her. “Now come here, you still can’t do a braid to save your life.” Her own salt and pepper hair was neatly braided, not a hair out of place. Mine looked like I went through a windtunnel.

“It’s hard to do my own.” I’d never had to, not with Jules around. My grandmother may have gnarled, bony fingers but they’re strong and steady. In under a minute my hair was caught back into a braid that wouldn’t dare get messy.

I felt like a little girl again, sleeping in her bed with her.

The only thing missing was Jules.