Ever Since You Walked Into My Life

Three days. I spent three days of my life so sick to my stomach I had been sent home from work yesterday. I refused multiple times, but between the sweats, retching and being exhausted, Karen gave me no excuses. She paid me for the last two hours of my shift and nearly begged me to go get some rest. I needed the hours that Drew had cut back, but within three days time it just wasn't enough. PSE & G was out here moments ago to turn me off.

I had my arms crossed over my chest, my head against the window and a shallow breath floating from my lungs as I watched him pull away. Tears no longer tore at my eyes, as I had run dry. I felt my eyes grow heavy while I stood and debated on resting in bed for a few minutes. It was seven o' clock and I would have to get Sammi at NormanMs house soon. My feet rubbed against the carpet as I made my way to my room.

I fell onto my bed, exhausted but unable to sleep. I was fighting my own body by clenching my eyes shut and begging it to take even a ten minute nap. I let out a hoarse whimper and pulled my pillow over my head. I was having no such luck. I rolled onto my side and curled my legs into my chest. When Sammi came home, it would be clear we had no utilities on at the moment. One flick of the switch would prove it.

I would be unable to cook for either of us, never mind taking her out to Wendy's down the road for dinner. The cash that was left in my pocket was barely enough to buy a can of Spaghetti - O's and too short for a nice steak dinner. I slowly rolled from my bed upon no luck in napping before swiping my keys from the kitchen counter. We would have to do on a can of Spaghetti - O's each for the night.

I had stolen from my own job on three seperate occasions, each kneading a thread of guilt into my empty belly for days after. If I had no choice, stealing is what my way of feeding Sammi had come down to. Only sometimes do I wish that she were with Sandra, Connor even, because I was an unfit guardian for her. I tucked my unused purse under my arm before heading out to my old beater, where it waited to be started once again.

I faught with the ignition over and over again until it revved to life, sputtering and spitting out smoke from behind. I pulled from my driveway and made my way to Stop and Shop, where I walked in with nothing more than a frown. I saw no workers as I walked through the aisles, slipping cans of a child's food into my bag. As I slid the fourth can into the heavy bag on my arm, I caught sight of Karen coming my way.

I offered her a warm smile, my heart secretly beating against my rib cage, begging to give me away to my own boss. If she caught me stealing, than I would lose the only job I had. Karen gave me a wave and stepped up, asking, "Hey, Rascal, can I talk to you for a minute? Maybe step outside? I'm on break."

Her smile didn't prove she had caught me, so I followed behind, my heart nearly giving out when we stepped into the unusually warm weather. I swallowed hard as she pulled a cigarette from her pack. I never took her as a smoker before. She pushed one in my direction after lighting it and sighed quietly. We had walked further away than we normally did, which bothered me more now than ever.

"I saw you steal."Her shoulders slumped and my knees began to shake anxiously.

Before Karen could continue, I fell onto the bench beside her, eyes welled significantly in tears and breath ragged. I cupped my hands over my face and breathed, "I'm sorry, Karen. I'm so fucking sorry. Here, you can have it all back. I wasn't thinking right. I didn't think -"

"Rascal,"Her voice softened even more."I'm not going to fire you."

She pushed my bag further into my lap and stole a pull from her cigarette.

"I didn't tell anyone and I promise I won't. I think it's time you learn a little something about me, Rascal."She said sweetly."I've been there before. I've been homeless, literally living at the bus terminals not far from here. Rascal, I used to steal anything and everything just for one nights dinner. I know how you feel."

I wiped tirelessly at my eyes and let my head drop. Karen placed a hand on my own and said, "I picked myself up, made a small job and saved every penny. I'm doing alright now, but I still have my bad times. Everyone does. You can keep the cans. I'll write them off as damaged, alright? I don't want you stealing from here, because the night time I might not be the one catching you."

"Th - Thankyou, Karen."I whimpered softly."I'll pay for them with my next che -"

"No."She shook her head, stomping out her cigarette beneath her heel."You need the money. You need to feed yourself and take care of what needs to be done."

Karen's wrinkled hands slowly shook themselves into her pockets, where she retrieved her wallet. She flipped open the leather flaps, received a twenty dollar bill and pushed in in my direction. Before I could object, she said, "It's not much, but it'll help you a little bit. Don't say no. Just take it, Rascal. I know you need it."

My bottom lip began to quiver and I apprehensively took hold of the bill. Karen pulled me into a hug as I tossed my cigarette and dug my face into her shoulder. I let out a breath of fresh air, my emotions jumbling from what had happened. Karen ran a smooth hand down my back and whispered, "Don't steal, Rascal. I told you already. If you need any help, let me know. I'll do my best for you. I'll get groceries if you need them."

I pulled away while wiping at my eyes and whispered, "Thankyou for understanding, Karen. I don't know what I'd do if I lost my job. If I got arrested. Oh, god, Sammi."

"Go take care of Sammi."She smiled warmly."Enjoy your day off and relax. I'll see you tomorrow at normal time, Rascal."

"Thankyou, Karen. And I'm sorry, again."I stood from my seat and shoved the bill into my pocket.

"Go home, enjoy the weather. Do something to keep your mind occupied, Rascal. It's the best thing for you."She said."Try talking to someone. I know I'm your boss, but even your boss can be a friend. If you don't want to talk to me that's fine, but you need to voice your troubles at some point before it gets to you."

Karen stood, warm smile pressed to her lips and said, "Trust me, I know."

Karen embraced me once more before making her way back inside the store. I sat on the bench still, just a few minutes longer as I tried to recollect what had happened. Karen was right, as well as Norman. I had to talk to someone before I snapped, or worse, got caught. I couldn't bare the thought of leaving Sammi alone in the world because of my nonexsistent actions of being a good guardian.

I stood, my bag slapping heavily against my hip and worked my way through the parking lot. When I collapsed into the drivers seat and I knew I was alone, I let my head fall against the steering wheel, where loud, hearty sobs pushed through my lips. My chest heaved and pulled with every breath as I finally broke down, not caring if I was a few minutes late to pick up Sammi. She woudlnt mind the extra time at Norman's house anyway.

I turned the key and was surprised when my car started right up. I followed the lot back out to the road and made the short drive to Norman's house. I needed to talk to someone and if he wasn't angry with me, I would ask to pull him aside and let go. Norman had been unbelievably patient with me, even my attitude needed adjustment. He had been a true saint, taking the time to make sure Sammi and I were okay. He had been a true friend.

My car bucked its way into his driveway and I slowly shoved open my door. I had parked crooked, but I needed a shoulder and I was only hoping his was open. Karen and Norman had the same thought process, because Norman had also told me to open up before I lost it. My fist knocked loudly at his front door, which pulled open a few seconds later.

A cigarette hung from Norman's smiling lips, a white button up shirt hugging him lightly, sleeves rolled to his elbows. Jeans fell down his long legs into black boots, which were scuffed and marked over and over with droplets of paint. I looked up from the ground and into his eyes, silencing his hellos. He plucked the cigarette from his lips, smile turning to a frown and asked, "Rascal? What happened?"

"Remember when we were talking at my job and you said I should talk to someone?"I sniffled softly.

He nodded slowly, his cigarette burning closer and closer to his fingers.

"Well, if you're not mad at me, are you open?"My voice cracked, signaling to Norman that I was, once again, on the verge of tears.

"Inside, right now."Norman pulled me by the elbow, ushering me toward the porch through the living room.

I could hear Sammi and Mingus in the other room, giggling and banging around like normal little kids would do. Sammi's shriek of laughter sent a wave of goosebumps down my spine, but in the most comfortable way possible. Norman slid open the sliding glass door, allowing me to walk into the warm air first. He quietly shut it behind us before leaning his back against the cement railing.

"What's going on, Rascal?"His voice held concern and sincerity.

Lee stubbed out his cigarette beneath his shoe and rested his elbows back on the railing. I stood for a moment, debating my options, before stepping closer to him, inches of tension pushing us apart. I raked my bottom lip in between my teeth and whispered, "I don't know what to do, Norman."

"Explain it all. I want detail and don't cut anything out. This is what you need, Rascal."Norman took hold of my upper arms, looking down sympathetically at me."You need to let this shit out. You know I'm gonna be here to listen."

My watery eyes spilled over before I could speak and Norman pulled me into a hug. His strong arms wrapped tightly around my chest as he hugged me into his thin layered shirt. I sniffled softly and embraced him, taking in all the love and care I haven't felt in what seemed like ages. My tears and make up stained his shirt as I choked, "I got caught stealing from my own job today."

Norman said nothing as I continued, telling him about the utilities, the way Karen spoke with me and how my worry was literally driving me into the ground. I explained how my car was beginning to short out, making it even harder for me to get to work. To obtain the hours I so desperately needed to pay my bills. We had sat back into the chairs on the porch, cigarettes lit, knees touching comfortably and myself rambling on.

The last thing I managed to muster up was Sammi's birthday, which was coming much faster than I wanted it to. When I finally came to a finish, Norman whispered, "Why don't ,"

He ran a hand along his lower lip, like I had seen him do countless times, before he continued.

"Why don't you and Sammi stay the night? We'll have a nice dinner, stay up late watching that zombie - thon we never finished."He smiled warmly.

"Oh, Norman,"I whispered."I don't think -"

"Hey, you made the first step in excepting a shoulder to cry on. Don't stop now."His smile began to dwindle."Take the next one and just stay over. I have pajamas for the both of you. Sammi will love it, Rascal."

Norman puffed from the cigarette between his thin lips and took hold of my free hand with his own. They were soft, warm and a strange tingling feeling ran across my skin when he moved his fingers across it. I inhaled deeply, my lungs engulfing with toxic smoke from my cigarette and slowly let it slip through my nose and mouth.

"Okay."I smiled.

"Okay."Norman's smile grew, reaching close to each ear."Okay?"

"Okay."I chuckled quietly as he reached out and pulled me into a tight embrace.

His hands worked down my back, bouncing over every vertebra that stuck out through my skin. I sighed quietly, closing my eyes and allowing myself to be worry free. To feel better about what I had done, even if it might have been embarrassing. I could feel the weight of the world lift from my shoulders, one problem at a time as I pulled away from Norman.

"Hey,"He grabbed my hand again and this time his eyes were serious."Don't worry about Sammi's birthday. I'll have a get together here. We'll have a barbeque and invite all her friends."

He grinned, showing off his little kid personality, and I could slowly feel the corners of my lips pull up into a smile.

"You can do better than that."I laughed quietly at his statement and shook my head.

"You're a life saver, Norman."I said.

"Don't worry about it."He smiled."Now, let's go tell the kids you guys are staying over. Should I grab some ear plugs?"

"Trust me, Sammi's scream of happiness can pierce a sound proof room."Norman pulled me to my feet and led the way to the door.

He reached out for the long handle, but I quickly pulled at his elbow, forcing him to stop. He turned, finding my eyes, but kept his smile when he realized I still sported mine as well.

"Thankyou, Norman."I curled my fingers in his shirt and said, "I didn't realize how much better I would feel after just a talk. Thankyou for being there, even when I don't deserve it."

"Hey,"He cupped my face in his hands, that smirk never disappearing from his lips."you deserve a lot more than you think you do. This doesn't end my life, spending time out here with you, making you feel better. I enjoyed it, because I knew you would feel better in the end."

His grinning lips tenderly pressed against mine, sealing in the emotions that had kick started my heart. His smooth hands ran down to my back, where he pulled me into a strong hug. I laced my arms around his middle, enjoying the passion he put behind each peck and kiss. Norman and I pulled away fast when the glass door slid open, revealing Sammi and Mingus.

"Dad?"Mingus' left eyebrow lifted, like he was sure he caught us in the middle of something bad.

Norman and I chuckled quietly and I rested my head against his chest. I peeked over at Sammi from underneath my long eyelashes, finding a suspicious smile making its way across her lips.

"Wanna sleep over, Sam?"Mingus and Sammi's faces lit up like the fourth of July.

"Can we stay up all night?!"Mingus exclaimed.

"Sorry, buddy. There's school tomorrow."Norman grinned.

"Aw, but I never have sleep overs during the week and now that I have I wanna stay up late and watch movies and play video games and -"Mingus rambled.

"Mingus,"Norman breathed."I said you couldn't stay up all night. I didn't say you couldn't stay up late."

"Rascal?"Sammi's eyes widened and she cupped her hands together."Can I stay up late too?"

"I'll give you until eleven o' clock."Sammi's excited yelp made me jump, but I never removed myself from Norman's arms.

"Let's go play Left For Dead!"Mingus turned on his heel and ran toward his bedroom with Sammi.

"Don't scare her, Mingus!"Norman shouted.

I giggled quietly and felt Norman rest his chin on top of my head.

"Those kids."He sighed.

"Yeah, but those kids kind of keep us sane, don't you think?"I whispered.

"Sammi, sure, but Mingus? No fuckinng way."I laughed into his chest.

"Come on. Let's get you changed."Norman and I made our way inside slowly, like he didn't want to pull away from me as much as I didn't want to from him.

Norman scrounged through his drawers and handed off an old t - shirt to Sammi, which fell just below her knees like a dress. I watched as he rummaged through each drawer again, scratching his head or running a hand along his chin.

"Having difficulties?"I smiled.

"You're just so,"He stopped and eyed me for a moment.

"So?"I lingered.

"Small."He frowned.

"So you keep digging through your drawers that seem to be ten feet thick and I'll go gorge myself on some cupcakes in the kitchen."I grinned.

"I don't have cupcakes."He smiled.

"Brownies?"I asked.

"Nope."He stepped closer, a sly smirk clinging to his lips.

"Pizza?"I grinned.

"Nada."He gripped my hands tightly and looked down at me.

"You're killing me. What do you have to fatten me up?"I chuckled."Since I'm so small."

"Well, there's some Norman left over from earlier."He said.

"Really? You can do better than that."I mocked with a smile.

"Shutup."Norman leaned forward, hands releasing mine and gripping my hips as his lips traced over my own, pressing more dominantly than before.

I curled my fingers into his long, dirty blonde hair and smiled, those strange emotions coating me once more with every kiss he placed on my lips. The tips of his fingers dug into my hips, pulling me closer than I thought possible. He left my mouth open as he trailed his scruffy face down my chin, neck and collar bone. When a quiet gasp breathed through my lips, he looked back up, breath slightly labored.

"You good?"His smile widened when I nodded.

My fingers gently trailed down the sides of his face and I slowly pulled him forward, begging him for more of his sweet, passionate kisses. Norman slipped two fingers into two loops of my jeans, a smile working its way across his lips. I could feel myself reacting in a way I haven't felt in a long time. This was different from when I was younger, when being a teenager meant nothing but having quick sex.

I could feel the care, passion and needing coming from him. The way he held onto me, like he didn't want to lose me. The way Norman gently took my face in his hands. The way his eyes locked into my own for what seemed like an eternity. My stomach filled with butterflies as we continued, our hands traveling over every inch, bump and curves on our bodies. My knees suddenly felt week as Norman walked us closer to the bed.

I was becoming confused, but I could feel the need screaming in the back of my mind. I needed this. Not from anyone, but from Norman. My fingers quickly dug into Norman's shirt as the back of my knees hit the edge of the bed, almost making me fall backwards. He laughed, his lips stroking my jawline as he whispered, "I won't let you fall."

"I trust you."I breathed.

Norman held me beautifully as he pushed us onto the bed, one arm snaked tightly around my waist, the other pressing into the bed near my head. As I shimmied up on the covers, Norman followed, never breaking the sweet kisses he gifted me with. I ran my fingers up the back of his neck and into his hair, where I gently pulled his head away for a breath of fresh air. I peered into his oceanic blue eyes and whispered, "What are we doing?"

"Anything you want."He panted.

My eyes fell onto my chest, where I debated my options. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach intensify and my brain lose track of time. I was in a lost of ecstasy, just from Norman's simple touch. I could feel him hovering over me, his hot breath nipping playfully at my ear. I swallowed hard, pushing today's earlier events into the back of my mind. I was going to live in the moment and hope it didn't come back to bite me in the ass.

"You okay?"He asked softly."We don't have to do anything if you don't -"

I cupped Norman's face into my hands, roughly pulling him down for more of his kisses. His lips pressed hungrily against my own, but still soft enough to my liking. Norman positioned himself above my waist, where he pulled away for seconds to sit. His fingers played with the zipper to my sweatshirt, which once opened, revealed a black tank top. I had no one to impress, except Norman, but he never minded my simple choice in clothing.

I faught to escape my small sweatshirt and tossed it to the side of my bed. My fingers, which were once curling themselves into Norman's hair, began to work on his buttons, which were hardo to undo than I had thought. Norman chuckled quietly as I huffed, trying my best to open it for him. When the first few buttons were undone, I could clearly see the name tattooed on his chest. I ran a few fingers over it, watching him shiver under the touch.

They slid to the rest of the buttons, which popped open easier when I focused on them. Norman slid the thin shirt from his shoulders before letting it drop to the floor. I felt my smile widen as he leaned down, barely kissing my pleading lips. He traced his down my jaw and neck, where he gave a single kiss to the hallow of my neck. I gasped quietly as he roughly gripped the bottom of my tank top, fingers nearly ripping it.

It was quickly pulled over my head in one swift movement, leaving me half naked under him. I played with his belt, wondering why he felt like being sophisticated today. Goosebumps rose on my skin as he continued to touch, fondle and nip at me. When all scraps of clothing had been shed, Norman moved down, leading the tip of his tongue down the curve in my neck. He nibbled playfully at my skin and collar bone, forcing me to whimper softly.

My left knee brushed against his bare hip as I nearly begged him to continue. Norman's hands gently ran down my sides, sending a shiver of pleasure and tickling through me. I giggled quietly as he smiled, running his lips smoothly down my chest, breasts and stomach. They slid underneath my butt as he moved down, slower than before, and pushed his face into my warmth. A high pitched yelp echoed into the room as his tongue danced against me.

My right hand gripped the bed sheets tightly, threatening to rip them if he had pushed my further. My left hand coiled into his hair as quiet moans pressed through my clenched teeth. I had to remember that Sammi and Mingus were still awake; I couldn't afford any interruptions right now. My back arched against the covers as Norman pushed, nipped and played with me. My hips bucked forward, asking for more when I couldn't.

When Norman rose his head away from me, he pressed kisses along my stomach, trailing them sweetly until he reached my mouth. The kiss was hungry and expecting more as he pushed it to become more passionate. I could taste the mixture of myself and smoke as I felt myself sink lower into the bed. I dug my nails hard into his shoulder blades as he pressed forward, readying himself to take our session to the next level.

"Are you sure?"He breathed.

I nodded my head, unable to find words for him. I felt Norman push into me, both of us simultaneously allowing a moan into the room. His hands dug into the covers beside my head as he began to thrust in and out, starting off slow and steady into rough and hard. I rocked my hips rhythmically to him, panting and choking on the breath I thought I lost. I felt like we had become one, as cliche as it sounded.

He was sweet, sure not to hurt me and reminded me of what to do, as it had been so long. My thighs tightened around his midsection as a knot formed in the lower region of my stomach, telling me I was just about done. I groaned, moaned and continued to rock against Norman as he continued, breathless and sure. The last thrust he offered me forced my muscles to clench around him and prove what we had was amazing.

Norman moaned into my ear, but before I could cry out myself, he took my lips in his own, silencing me for good. Norman pushed just a few more times before he came, falling beside me in seconds. He cupped my face in his shaking hands and kissed me, his tongue sliding evenly over my teeth. I tried to catch my breath as he pulled away. I folded my left leg over his as he pushed some hair from my face.

I rested my head against his chest, my left arm lying limp over his stomach. We panted in unison, each one trying to catch the breath we lost to eachother. I closed my eyes, feeling that hole in my body slowly beginning to fade. I had forced myself to forget my worries for such a long time and was proud I could do it. I traced my finger in circles over his skin and felt a smile work its way onto my lips.

But I couldn't get lost. I couldn't forget my priorities and what needed to be done. Norman was a blessing in disguise, but I couldn't let him clout my judgment. I peeked up into Norman's eyes from under my messy hair, finding a sweet smile caught on his lips. I reached up, kissing him gently on his lips and whispered, "And I thought you would be mad at me."