Ever Since You Walked Into My Life

"I'm not good with people."I stifled a yawn, substituting it with a giggle.

I rested my head back on Norman's arm, watching as he offered me nothing more than a boyish smirk.

"Never have been. When I was a teen I had a few boyfriends, broke a few hearts, had my heart broken in return. But once Dad got sick, everything changed. I became sheltered, unable to trust anyone I came in contact with. We were robbed once, Sammi and I. I came home late; she was sleeping in the passengers seat. They took everything I worked hard for."I frowned.

Norman's fingers danced across my bare shoulder, forming goosebumps with every trail he made. I rested my head against his shoulder, arm on his chest, lifting and falling with every breath he took. I peered up from a sweaty brow and found him staring across the room, eyes hard and cold.

"Were you hurt?"He whispered.

"Mentally."I said softly."He didn't find Mom's necklace, though. It's in a small box where I keep my belongings."

"They catch the theif?"He asked.

"Yes."'y frown deepened."It was an old friend. He knew my hours, knew when I'd be home and out. I crumble under someone's touch, Norman. I'm not the same person I used to be. I guess I'm broken."

"You can't break a person, Rascal."Norman turned his eyes on me, that cold look vanishing from his irises."You can wound'm, make'm cry, but you can't break someone who's been the same for years. Its impossible."

"I'm pretty possible."I sighed.

"You just lost yourself."Norman stated."You'll find out who you are again. You'll come in contact with the old Rascal and wonder where she went this whole time. Trust me when I say that you'll be surprised at what you can go through."

"Oh, I know."I said softly.

I looked at Norman once more, finding a smile slowly creeping onto my lips. He gave me a warm grin back before pressing a sweet kiss to my already tingling lips. My smile stayed, because not only had we shared an intimate moment together, but because he knew how to dig under my skin, probe into my heart and figure out who I am. Norman understood who I was, because when he was younger he had similar experiences.

Being a teenager didn't grant you the small talks after making love. You slipped on your clothes, kissed goodbye and made your way home via walking or bicycle. Being an older woman and knowing what I wanted, even if I couldn't have it, meant taking the time to get to know one another. It was a different feeling, my fingertips against his pale skin, my lips moving in sync with his. It was different, but so wonderful.

I didn't feel guilty about my actions for once. For taking that time to get to know Norman when I should be worrying about home. It was a moment in time where I could take a break, figure things out and thank the person for helping me make that sudden stop. I could feel my eyes grow heavy as the night grew later, the orange tint peeking in from the bottom of his windows. Sammi would need to get up soon.

"You know what?"My voice wavered as a yawn approached my lips.

"What?"He chuckled.

"I'm like my old beater outside, sitting in your driveway."Norman's quiet laughing made me smile.

"Why's that?"He asked.

"I'm ready to give in and break down. Give up when I need to stay strong the most. But when one person comes along and changes my oil, per se. Shows me some love, I can back into gear. Remember what I had,"My yawn broke through my sentence."remember what I had to do."

I dug my face further into Norman and sighed quietly. I could feel the sleep, the wanting to close my eyes, curl under the sheets and pass out. I also felt the need not to let go, afraid that Norman would disappear from my side if I did.

"Thanks for changing my oil, Norman."

I rolled over in bed, my hand absentmindedly shielding the morning sun from my eyes. I peeked to my side, stopping for a moment to recollect last nights memories. I could see Norman and I talking, growing closer, and the pit of my stomach grew into a knot. I felt sick, like I had physically made a horrible mistake. It was beautiful, in the moment, but I felt as though I could never escape my guilt.

The warm aroma of coffee stung my nose and I knew Norman had been up for a little while. My eyes darted to the clock on the wall and I felt my heart begin to race. It was twelve o' clock in the afternoon; Sammi should be in school and I was due in for work three hours ago. I escaped from the sheets, collecting my clothes as I walked, pulling them over my head and legs before stumbling into the hallway.

"Sammi?"I walked into the wall and threw my hands out to catch myself.

I quickly tip toed to the kitchen, watching as Norman removed his cell phone from his ear, placing it smoothly in his front pocket. He smiled warmly at me and nodded toward his coffee pot.

"Want a cup?"He asked.

"Where's Sam?"I questioned.

"I took the kids to school this morning. Decided to let you sleep in."He grinned."You look better already."

"I'm late for work."I ran my hands over my eyes and rushed to retrieve my jacket."I need those hours and I just lost the extra I got for the week,"

"Hey,"Norman tugged at my elbow, his features pulled up in a comedic fashion.

"What?"I asked.

"Sit for a minute. Relax. I have a surprise for you."His smile showed he was up to no good and I shook my head.

"Norman, I can't. I have to,"I began.

"Please?"He asked."There's no rush. You'll understand in a minute."

Norman guided me to one of his pull out stools by the island and with a quiet sigh, I followed his request. He sat beside me, setting his cup along the counter and said, "I called you out today. Spoke with a Karen? I told her not to worry about you. That you needed a good amount of rest. She said don't worry. Seemed nice."

"You what?!"I felt my fingers tighten into angry fists."Norman, I need those hours! I appreciate the thought, but I need the utilities back on. Fuck!"

"Rascal, you're going to drop one of these days because of the stress. If you don't stop now, its going to be real soon."He lowered his gaze slightly."I don't want that to happen to you."

"I'm sorry."I shook my head, trying to shake the thoughts from my mind."I don't mean to snap."

I rested my head into my hands, allowing an angry sigh to float into the room.

"I did you a favor,"He began."and you can be mad, happy or upset, but I know you needed it."

I peeked up from my palms, worry clinging itself to my face instantly. One corner of his lips pulled up slightly, as if he were afraid of giving me a comforting smile. I could feel the knot in my stomach twisting, warning me that just a little more would throw me into the bathroom to hug the toilet. I swallowed hard and asked, "What did you do?"

"I paid your rent, got your utilities back on."His smile began to show itself and I fell forward, cupping my face into my hands once more.

I felt relieved, knowing I didn't have to keep Sammi in the cold any longer. I was upset and enraged, because Norman had spent a large chunk of his hard earned money on me. I would never be able to pay him back, even within a ten year span. I shook my head, tears gripping fiercely at my eyes and said, "Why did you do that?"

"You need your utilities, Rascal."Norman sighed."And the last time I checked, a home is a good plus too."

"Norman, you cant."I whimpered.

"Why are you crying?"His face fell, like he had done something terribly wrong."Rascal, I know you can't do this alone. I know you can't pay me back."

"I can't do this."I whispered.

"There's nothing to do, Rascal."Norman shook his head, an aggravated snort erupting from him."Just accept the fact that people want to help you. I want to help you. I told you it would be okay. Why? Because I would help you."

"No, Norman, I can take care of myself."I replied, snapping my head angrily in his direction.

"Obviously, you can't."Norman retorted."You can't even feed yourself, Rascal. Look at you. You're skin and bones because you always think of Sammi first. Everyone before you, Rascal, and that's not the way the world works. Sometimes you have to cut in line and tell them how it is. You're first. You. What could you do for Sammi if something happened to you? Huh?"

I stood from my seat, knuckles white as I gripped the edge of the seat.

"I didn't do this to insult you, if that's what you're thinking."Norman said softly.

"I appreciate your effort, Norman, I really do. But I don't want your help. I don't want your money."I replied softly, loosening my grip severly on the chair.

"Rascal,"Norman took hold of my hands, watching as I wiped my tears on my shoulder."its not about who has more. It's about who has the heart to give the help and who can accept it."

"I have a lot to think about, Norman."I leaned forward, kissing him sweetly on the lips.

He hugged me close, his hands lingering as I pulled away, like he knew I was going to run out of him.

"I have to go. Think some things over."I cupped his face in my hands, whispering, "Thankyou, Norman."

I closed my eyes, took in a deep breath and kissed him once more, making the kiss linger, wanting to keep the moment from last night. Wanting to go back, stay in the euphoria I had exsisted in only hours ago. I pulled away, collected my coat and keys from the counter and made my way to the door. I took hold of the handle, but didn't turn it open. I looked back, finding Norman's eyes burning into my back.

His smile had vanished. The hope and longing in his eyes disappeared and I could feel the need to stay tug at the edge of my jacket. It whispered for me to curl up on the couch with him, thank him properly for the help he gifted me with and take back what I said. I swaallowed the pride lodging itself in my throat and whispered, "I'll see you soon, Norman."

I opened the door, got into my old car and started it, bottom lip sucked in between my teeth and beginning to bleed. I whimpered quietly into my car, knowing as I pulled out that this was the last time I would be at his home. I'd force myself to stay away, no matter how much my heart kicked, screamed and faught me. I'd fight with myself the whole way, never giving in to the endless temptation of a chance at love.