Ever Since You Walked Into My Life

I could feel the lonliness seeping it's way through our apartment once more, ever since I had politely asked Norman to leave me be. Sammi was more than welcome to continue her friendship with Mingus, but the conversations between Norman and I were kept to a minimum, if there was anything to say at all. He had tried multiple times to catch my attention or ask me out for a hot cup of coffee, but all I could manage to do was brush him off and deny his invitation.

The feeling of having a friend in this new town felt great, but I felt as though I had lost my concentration on keeping the bills on time. I didn't want to forget that I had important things to keep on track because I wanted to go out for the night. I felt a little selfish when I debated on stopping at Norman's house to apologize for my sudden out burst, if you will, for the main reason that I had to make sure Sammi would be living a good, care free life.

Bills would always pile up and money would always be tight, but if I could keep it in one town and in one house, than I would feel better about myself. Ever since my hours had been cut at work, I found myself almost a month late with my rent. We've been in Wood Ridge much longer than we had ever stayed in one place before, but hearing the door bell ring sent a wave of panic through me. I was afraid to answer the door in case my lanlord was standing there, wondering where his new months rent was.

I broke past my worries when a customer tossed their things onto the belt and I forced a warm smile in their direction. I had a few minutes left on my shift before I could go home and get Sammi. I would only have to face those gorgeous blue eyes once today, since cheer had been cancelled due to the excessive amounts of snow and ice we had been getting over this last week. School had been cancelled on one day as well and I was unable to get into work, which killed me on the inside.

I came to a quick finish on the short order and flicked my light off with my thumb. I started my walk to the clock, when Karen called out after me. I turned, finding that her few steps led her right to my side. She gave me a happy smile and asked, "How are you guys holding up at home, Rascal?"

I didn't want to worry my boss, who seemed more like a good friend each day I came here, so I scratched nervously at the back of my head before saying, "We're doing alright. Thanks for asking, Karen."

"I'm working on getting you your hours back. Just give Drew about a week or two and you'll have your original hours."Karen ran a hand down my arm and smiled warmly."Remember sweetheart, if you need anything, just give me a call, alright?"

"Thanks, Karen."I said softly."I'll see you tomorrow."

"Have a good night."As Karen walked away, I had clocked out and managed to walk through the large glass doors of Stop and Shop.

I said my goodnights to Bert, the doorman, and began picking at the large buttons of my smock. By the time I had reached my car, I was sliding the dull coloured piece off of my shoulders and into my hands. I pulled open my door, but stopped before getting in. I had heard my name from within the parking lot, so I turned and was shocked to see Norman giving me a wave and toothy grin. I quickly tossed my smock into the car, hoping he hadn't seen my uniform for work.

He was still believed, if I was correct, that I worked from home by selling make - up for Avon. I only gave him a small smile before getting into my car. I quickly shut the door behind me and peeked into my rear view mirror. His smile had dropped dramatically when he realized I wasn't willing to stop and chat with him. I let my head drop as I began to pull out, simply because I felt bad for how I was acting toward him. He was such a sweet, caring man and I was being nothing but rude to him.

I wiped at my eyes as I made my way home, because I felt the urge to cry more and more hard to handle. I turned off my car and made my way toward the mailbox, where multiple white envelopes waited for me to pick at them. As I made my way up the stairs to our apartment, I found the PSE&G bill warning me that my gas and electric would be turned off if I didn't make any sort of payment within the next week. The urge to cry had suddenly become surreal as I tossed the envelopes onto the kitchen table.

Bills had piled up much faster than I could pay then off, which hurt me more than anything now. I had to come up with six hundred dollars for rent, as well as enough money to keep my utilities on for Sammi and I. If my gas went out, than both Sammi and I would be hunkering down in multiple blankets just to keep warm for the night. I pulled out the chair to the table and sat down with a huff. I started to wipe at my eyes, but before I knew it, I had begun to sob.

I collected my face in my hands and just let out what I had been holding in for so long. I no longer had a glass jar of hidden money and nothing extra coming in from the few hours I had snagged at work. I would most likely be looking for a second job, which scared me some for Sammi's sake. I would constantly be worrying about her because she would be home alone more than not if I could take on another job. She was only eight years old; I felt horrible leaving her home alone for a few hours as it is now.

I pulled away from my hands and wiped roughly at my redened eyes. I angrily grabbed hold of the glass jar I had the extra money in and looked into it, as if money would magically appear. I felt my breath get caught in my throat, however, when I noticed a small, folded up ten at the bottom of the jar. I quickly pulled it out and realized that this would be going straight into my near empty gas tank. I dug my hand into my front pocket and pulled out my loose change and sighed quietly.

This would certainly be going toward a pay phone call to Sandra, who I hadn't spoken to in the longest of times. Right before Sammi and I moved to Wood Ridge, which was a few months ago, I had called her and told her the good news. Now I would be calling her near upset because I was completely stressed out about the money situation. I would hate to call her asking for money, even though she was an incredibly generous woman.

She knows I don't mean to ask her for help, because I was still paying her back for the other two times I had borrowed anything from her. I got up from my seat and patted my eyes dry before making my way back toward my car. Sammi would be getting out of school soon, so I was sure to get gas before I ran out waiting for her. I pulled up along the side of her school, where I normally would, and reached down for my pack of cigarettes in my cup holder.

I flipped the top open with my thumb and frowned at the three I had left in my pack. I wouldn't have money for even the cheap two dollars and fifty cent pack of cigars by tomorrow afternoon. I gently plucked one from the pack and held it to my lips when lit. I took in a large inhale and enjoyed the soft burn it offered me for now. I rested my head on my steering wheel, where I wondered exactly what I could say to Sandra when I gave her a call.

I could flat out as her for the help, but that would be very rude if I went through with it like that. I could beat around the bush and hope she gets the hint, or break down like I want to and tell her how bad things have gotten since I had lost most of my hours at work. I brought my head up quickly when the passenger door flew open, revealing a very happy Sammi. She climbed into the seat beside me and threw her bag down by her feet.

I took another drag of my cigarette and watched as her nose scrunched up in disgust. I shoved my gear shifter into drive and said, "Sorry Sami, but I've had a rough day. I wont do it again."

"Is everything okay, Rascal?"She asked softly.

"Yeah, everything's good now."I smiled.

Sammi looked down at her feet and nodded her head just slightly. As I made my way to the first pay phone I could find, she would steal glimpses at me here and there. Her looks were making me a little annoyed, but I only brushed it off because she was curious.

"Are you upset?"She asked.

"No."I pulled up along the side of the road when I found the first phone.

"You don't look okay. Were you crying, Rascal?"Sammi asked sweetly.

My knuckles tightened severely on the steering wheel and I turned toward her. She shrunk back into her seat as I shouted, "No, Sam! I'm fucking fine! Leave it alone!"

"I - I'm sorry."Her bottom lip began to quiver as she stuttered out, "I was only t - trying to h - help, Rascal."

She turned her gaze back down at the floor and wiped at her watery eyes. I sighed quietly and pinched the bridge of my nose, because I knew what I did was wrong. It wasn't Sammi's fault that I couldn't get a good job and keep a steady lifestyle. It certainly wasn't her fault that my day had gone wrong in every direction and hers didn't. I reached out, pulled Sammi into a hug and whispered, "I'm sorry I yelled at you, Sam. It's been a shitty day for me. Thankyou for making sure I'm okay, but I am, really. I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you too, Rascal."Sammi pulled away and I watched her smile come back to life.

I gently pinched her cheek and said, "I'm gonna call Sandra, so just stay put, alright?"

She nodded her head and I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. I climbed from my car, flicked my cigarettes and played with the few quarters in my pocket. I tossed two into the machine and dialed Sandra, hoping that she was at home instead of work. I had only one more try before I ran out of money. I breathed a large sigh of relief when she picked up.

Hello?

"Hey, Sandra. It's Rascal."I said softly.

Oh, how are you Rascal? I haven't spoken with you in a while.

"Yeah, we're kind of telephone deprived at home."I chuckled quietly, but more so out of nerves.

Is everything going alright with you two?

"I,"I stopped for a moment and bit down on my lip.

I didn't want to break down in front of Sammi, so I took a deep breath and shook my head, as if Sandra could see it.

What's going on?

"It's the rent, Sandra."I whimpered softly."My hours were cut for a few weeks and I can't make the rent. I just got a shut off notice for the gas and electric and -"

Rascal, calm down. You hear me? Calm down, sweetheart. I'll help you. You know I will. How much do you pay a month for rent, hon?

"Six hundred."I whispered.

I'm going to wire you money, alright? How about your gas and electric? I can't pay the whole thing -

"I would never ask you to do that for me, Sandra. I just want to keep the house. I need to keep this house."I choked out.

I understand, sweetheart. I'm sorry this is happening to you. I know you were doing good for a little while.

"And we were, Sandra. But once my hours were cut I lost it. I lost focus and we went downhill real fast. I'm sorry for asking for help, but it's all I could do. I didn't know what to do next."I wiped at my eyes, hoping like hell that Sammi never saw it.

Take a breather, Rascal. I'm going to wire you eight hundred dollars. Pay your rent, your utilities and then take Sammi out to dinner. Get yourself a pack of smokes. I say fuck it and get a dime bag.

Sandra and I chuckled lightly and I shook my head. She was a wonderfully sweet woman and she would do anything to lighten the mood. I was more than thankful that she stayed in our lives, rather than Connor, who would deny that we were related until he was blue in the face.

"I can't thank you enough, Sandra."I said."This helps us so much."

Don't worry about it. Just pay back what you can of the last time I loaned you money. Don't even worry about this one, alright?

"I can't do th - "I began.

Younger sisters don't give their older sisters lip. Now if I were you I'd be making my way to Walmart right about now.

Sandra's contagious laugh forced me to follow after her. I nodded my head and said, "Thankyou, Sandra. I love you so much. Hopefully I'll see you soon."

I love you too, Rascal. Tell Sammi I said hi and I love her as well.

"I will."We said our goodbyes, but before Sandra could hang up, I added, "Sandra, wait! How's mom doing?"

The line had grown silent, which sent a wave of goosebumps up my spine. Sandra never exaggerated things or lied about something serious to make you feel better. I heard her take a breath and said, She's doing the best she can right now.

I peeked back at my car and found Sammi scribbling in her notebook. I turned my attention back to the pay phone and said, "I'll call you when I can. Tell mom that Sammi and I love her, Sandra. Please, just do me that favor."

Of course I will, Rascal, you know that. I'll talk to you soon, alright? Now, go get the money because I'm leaving to wire it right now.

I breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Thankyou again, Sandra. I love you."

We said our goodbyes right before the operator came onto the line, requesting I put in more change if I wanted to continue my call. I placed the phone back up on it's hinges and began my walk back to the car. I shivered slightly and hugged my thinly layered shirt closer to my body as a large gust of wind picked up. I got into the car and gave Sammi a happy smile. In the nicest tone I could manage, I asked, "Wanna go to Wolly World with me?"

"Why are we going there?"She peeked up from her homework with a slight grin.

"Because Sandra is a life saver."I slowly pulled out and began my way toward the large super center.

Sammi gave me a shrug of her shoulders and I frowned. She must have been a little angry with me still for snapping, but I couldn't blame her. I gave her a sad frown and said, "I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"It's okay."She said softly.

"Do you forgive me?"I felt my shoulders slump in disbelief when she threw her head up from her homework with a conniving grin.

"Can I get a candy bar?"She asked.

I gave her a playful glare and said, "You're good. I give you that much. And sure, I'll get you a candy bar."

"Than I forgive you!"She giggled.

I shook my head, but I still couldn't help but laugh at her. She was such a sweet little girl, but if given the chance, she would trick you into something by making you feel bad. I continued the quick drive in silence, until Sammi asked, "Hey Rascal,"

"Hey Sammi."I mocked.

"Mingus wants to know if I can go over and play later."She said."Can I?"

My smile quickly faded and I started to shake my head.

"Maybe tomorrow, Sam."I whispered.

She sighed quietly before going back to scribbling in her notebook. As she twirled her coloured pencils together on the small page, she asked, "How come you and Mingus' dad don't talk anymore?"

"Wh - what?"I asked.

"You were friends with him, right?"She looked up for a moment.

"I,"I said softly."I guess."

"Well, how come you don't talk to him anymore? Was he mean to you?"Sammi questioned.

I placed my hand on her head and ruffled her hair with a smile. With a soft chuckle, I said, "You are too smart for your own good sometimes, Sammi."

"Rascal,"She quickly began to pat at her hair and fix it."you never answered my question."

"I don't know, Sam. I guess I don't want to be friends with him."I frowned.

"Why? He's really nice."Sammi leaned back in her seat and said with a grin, "I think he likes you."

"Sammi,"I began.

"Yeah?"She asked.

"Shutup."She giggled quietly as faught my best to hide my oncoming smile.