Ever Since You Walked Into My Life

I let a low growl echo into my bedroom as I searched desperately for my work smock. I was, for one of the first few times, running late for my shift at Stop and Shop. I ran a rough hand through my hair and stomped into the hallway. I couldn't remember where I left it and I couldn't show up to work without it. Sammi peeked out from the living room and asked, "What are you looking for, Rascal?"

"My smock."I placed my hands on my hips and huffed loudly.

"It's in your car, silly."Sammi giggled quietly.

"Oh, right."I ran a heavy hand down my face, mentally kicking myself for wasting so much time."Are you going to be alright by yourself for a few hours? I get out at six, which is about five hours from now."

"Yeah."Sammi rocked back and forth on her heels with a large smile."I'm gonna watch a bunch of movies."

"Alright, but make sure they aren't anything too scary. I don't want to get a call at work saying I need to come home because you think there's a monster in the closet."I chuckled lightly and ruffled her hair.

Sammi laughed quietly and wrapped her arms tightly around my hips. I kissed her softly on the top of her head and ran my fingers through her thick, brown hair. I would have loved to call out and stay home, just to watch a boat load of movies with Sammi, but work needed me and I needed work. I had gotten a hold of the money Sandra had sent me at Walmart yesterday, which helped put a large dent in the bills. The rent was paid and our utilities would be on for a little while longer.

I took Sandra's advice as well and took Sammi out to Wendy's, which she throughly enjoyed. The fresh burgers and fries sat in our stomachs for so long I didn't think we would have to eat for a week. Sammi pulled away and gave her goodbyes before making her way back into the living room. With a quiet sigh, I escaped through the front door and headed off to work. I was nervous walking through the front doors, for the main reason that I was never really late.

I caught Karen at the desk, where she debated on who would be going on their break next. I quietly walked up behind her and said, "Karen, I'm so sorry I'm late. I couldn't find my smock and I couldn't call because - "

"Rascal,"She laughed."it's perfectly okay. You're never late, so I know that it's a real excuse. Just jump on ten for me, alright?"

"Oh, I get it. The horrible register for the horrible employee."I joked.

"You got that right."She winked."I'll send you on break at about four thirty, alright?"

"Sounds good!"I made my way to the register, where I signed on and readied to work.

When the other lines realized I had no one on my register, they had become like bumper cars making their way over to me. I worked through the first agonizing two and a half hours before I was released on my only fifteen minute break. Time was dragging on so much, that I found myself smoking more than my normal two cigarettes a break. When I got back on to my new register, I could only think that I had two and a half hours left until I could go home to Sammi.

It worried me to keep her home alone, mainly because she was only eight years old. She was certainly smart for her age and could manage a microwave or oven, but it still made me worry thinking about her all alone. I leaned up against my register and yawned loudly, letting those around me know I was more than ready to get going. When there was nearly ten minutes left in my shift, I was almost jumping up and down with happiness. I had no work tomorrow, which was a blessing and curse all in it's own, but I knew I could relax.

I was praying I would recieve no customers in my final countdown at my post, but when a light bang met my ears, I groaned inwardly. I looked up and found myself blushing a deep pink, as well as widening my eyes in fear. Norman looked down at me, a small smile fitting his thin lips perfectly. My eyes quickly darted down to my smock, which proved to Norman that I wasn't selling make - up, but working the most hours I could as a god damned cashier.

I was waiting to hear an angry tone or a small attitude, but I was surprised when he asked politely, "Wanna take your break?"

I raked my bottom lip in between my teeth as I debated an answer for him. I could explain I'd be getting out any second when another cashier came to relieve me of my duties, or that I had taken my break and I was stuck here a few more hours. I knew that no matter what I said, Norman would most likely tell me what was on his mind one way or another. I swallowed hard and after gaining enough courage, looked up into those god given baby blues.

"I - I get off in a few minutes."I whispered softly.

Norman reached up and flicked my light off with his thumb. He gave me a warm smile and said, "I'll be outside."

Karen called out after me, and instead of getting in trouble for talking at the register like I thought I would, she waved me off of my register. I signed off of the computer and made my way to the clock. Karen met me there and asked, "Is everything okay? Is he going to be a problem? You seemed a little nervous around him."

"I haven't been the nicest person to him lately. I owe him an explanation."I unbuttoned my smock and snaked it off of my shoulders.

"Oh, I get it."Karen said softly."You have a good night, Rascal. I'll see you soon."

"You to, Karen."I gave her a wave before making my way toward the doors.

I felt like I had been holding my breath for far too long, because breathing was becoming a problem of mine. I reached into my pocket for my cigarettes and quickly lit one, hoping that the thick taste of nicotine would help my jumpy nerves. I made my way outside, where I heard Norman call after me. He gave me a small wave and said, "I'll walk you to your car."

I draped my smock over my arm and nervously stole drags from my cigarette, one after the other. The walk stayed silent, until I went to unlock my door. Norman placed his hand over mine and said, "I just wanted to talk to you, Rascal."

"I'm sorry."I looked up, finding that my eyes were beginning to water with salty tears."I don't mean to be so rude, Norman."

Norman waved at me to quiet me down and I nodded my head. I pulled my hand from under his and leaned up against my prehistoric car. I hugged my smock into my chest, shivering slightly at the cold wind here and there. Norman dragged the situation on a little longer, while he searched his pockets for his cigarettes. When he was finally enjoying the taste of his Newports, he said, "Why have you been so distant, Rascal? Did I do anything?"

"No, no."I shook my head and stubbed out my cigarette."You didn't do anything to me. I just,"

I stopped for a moment and licked over my chapped lips. I took in a deep breath, hoping that the fresh air would calm me down some.

"How did you know where I worked?"I whispered softly.

"I saw you on your break once or twice."Norman said."But that's not the point, Rascal."

"I know and I apologize for being so mean to you, Norman."I admitted."I'm just scared, I guess. I have a lot of problems going on."

"Everyone has problems, Rascal."Norman said matter of fact like.

My eyes narrowed in anger, but more sadness, because I knew Norman didn't understand where I was coming from. He had a nice house and food on the table for his son every night. I could barely afford spaghetti for three days in a row, never mind keeping a home for Sammi.

"You don't understand."I whimpered quietly."You just wont ever understand, Norman. I have to work forty plus hours a week just keep our god damned house. I have bills piling up on the table everytime I turn around and I can barely keep Sammi fed. I've stolen from my own job to get her food, Norman. I know you have no idea what it feels like, but that's alright. I'm happy you don't know, because it's something no family should have to go through."

Norman ran a hand over his chin and let his eyes linger away from me for just a moment. I wasn't sure if he was looking away because I disgusted him, now that he knew what I did for a living, or that he was trying desperately to think of something to say. I swallowed hard and quickly wiped at my eyes, hoping that my urge to cry wouldn't come out until later tonight when I was alone.

"I don't know."Norman whispered.

"No, but - "I began.

"But I can help."He said softly."I can help you, Rascal."

"No, you can't do that for me, Norman. I've known you for just a few months and even in that time frame we barely know eachother."I choked out.

"Look, Rascal, this is how it is. I'm trying to be your friend, but you keep pushing me away. I'm a nice person and other people are nice too."Norman eyed me down when he realized I had been shivering.

I watched as he slowly shook his leather jacket off of his shoulders. He gently tugged at my wrist and I stepped closer to him. I wiped at my eyes and realized he was placing his jacket around my shoulders. I went to push it away, but he said, "Rascal, it's less than thirty degrees outside and you're wearing a white, long sleeved shirt. Please, put it on."

"Thankyou."I hugged the warm coat closer to my body and took in a deep breath.

I could smell that familiar cologne he's worn the few times I've been with him, along with the thick, smokey smell of cigarettes at the end. I gave him a pleading look, hoping he'd get the hint that I wanted to leave. I felt very uncomfortable standing here with him, especially when he was slowly prying my dirty little secrets from me. Norman slid his long sleeves down to his wrists to keep warm and sighed quietly. He looked back up, finding that my eyes were still on the urge of spilling.

"You can give other people a chance in your life, Rascal. I don't want to see you doing something drastic just to help your sister and get in trouble for it. If you wont except my help, than I can find you other people who are more than willing to help you through your problems. There are good people out there, Rascal."He said softly.

"I've kind of learned otherwise over the years."I breathed.

"Well, you learned wrong. You know, I've come to notice that if you think you've lost control in a situation, you automatically assumed you lost the game. Rascal, that's not how things work. Just tell me why you wanted to stop talking to me. Give me the reason and I swear I will leave you alone if that's what you really want."He pleaded.

"I,"I shook my head and swallowed down the pride stuck in my throat."I feel selfish, Norman. I feel so wrong when I think about myself for more than a few moments at a time. I have one priority in my life now and that's Sammi. If I lose track of what I'm doing, even for a fucking day, than everything goes to shit. Everything, Norman."

He gently placed his hands on my shoulders and asked, "You thought you were being selfish for having a friend?"

I felt my head slowly drop and I brushed my hair from my eyes. My shoulder shook slightly when a quiet sob escaped my lips. I pushed Norman's hands away and whispered, "I have to go home, Norman."

"Rascal, just let me into your life. I promise I wont do any damage. I might break a few knick knacks here and there, but I'm not going to hurt you in any way."He whispered softly.

"Sammi is expecting me home, Norman."I latched my fingers onto my door handle, but Norman was sure to pull me away from the door."Here, take your coat -"

Norman's fingers gently cupped my face in his hands and pulled me closer to him. I rose myself to my tip toes in order to reach his lips, where he kissed me so tenderly I thought my heart was going to burst from it's cage in my chest. My fingers picked lightly at his shirt as he brushed his thumbs so softly under my closed eyes. I pulled away, nearly falling back into my car as he said, "Keep the jacket. I have more at home."

He ran a hand over his chin and shook his head, like he couldn't believe he had gone through with what he had done. I brushed my fingers over my lips, trying to figure out why a slight tingling sensation was running through them. I looked up at Norman as he said, "Just think about it, Rascal."