Ever Since You Walked Into My Life

Just think about it Rascal.

I could still see Norman walking away from me last night, hands wrapped tightly over his chest as he faught the cold breeze. I still had his jacket sitting on the chair in the kitchen, where my eyes never left it for even a second. I sipped lightly at a cup of coffee I indulged myself on and stole few drags of my lit cigarette. I had yet to flick it, so when I made a sharp move, the long ashes spilled over my warm hands. I gently tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear and sighed quietly, knowing very well I had to see him again.

Sammi was in school; she had only been gone nearly an hour. I had no hours I needed to work or time frame where I was busy. Today was a relaxing day, except that my mind refused to let go of what had happened last night. Norman had kissed me and put such comforting words into my head. His idea of just thinking about it had forced me to get two hours of sleep and a stomach ache. I gently ran my fingers down my lips, wondering if I could get that feeling back once more.

It was absolutely surprising when he kissed me, yes, for the main reason that it hasn't happened much since I've been running around like a chicken with it's head cut off for years. Years seemed like such a short amount of time that I've been raising Sammi, now that I think about it. Each day drives by so fast I feel like I'm in the middle of a Nascar race. I have no time to think about anything; what I want to do with my own life.

I wanted to attend a nice college and become a photographer or even a nurse. I always loved children and found that if I could help them in any way that I could, I would. I wanted to be able to sit back into a nice, comfortable reclining chair with a hot cup of coffee and enjoy the day. I didn't plan on worrying about every bill that came my way and how I was supposed to get Sammi fed for the night. I owed Norman an explanation and certainly wanted to apologize for what I had done.

Norman walked into my life, or rather I walked into his, only because Sammi had wanted to learn how to cheer. She had her few games and the season was slowly coming to an end, but I was beyond happy to know that she could stick to something and enjoy it. It's been a few months since we've moved into Wood Ridge, being that we were slowly approaching the beginning of February, and I made the selfish move of refusing to even glance at Norman for a few weeks.

I wanted him to realize why I was taking care of my little sister instead of my parents. I wanted Norman to know that my parents were saints and only managed to leave this burden on me not out of choice, but by force. I undid my indian style laced legs and quickly tip toed my way into my room, as if someone would hear me. I lightly placed my cup on my small dresser before prying open my closet door. The box that held all of my favourite things, family wise, was sitting along at the top shelf of my closet.

I put it far away, hoping that I would forget about all the things we used to have, but for some reason it comes calling back to me, whether I liked it or not. I reached up as far as I could and barely felt the thick cardboard brush against my fingertips. I grunted quietly as I reached further, hoping that I wouldn't pull it and cause an avalanche of unwanted things to come tumbling down. I managed to skid the box further before pulling it down into my hands.

I made my way back to the kitchen, coffee, cigarette and box in hand before placing it so gently on the top of the kitchen table. I absentmindedly stubbed out my cigarette as I reached to peel open those tattered flaps once more. The last time I looked into this box was when we first moved in. If Norman wanted to be my friend so badly, than I would have to bare all and let him choose whether or not he'd want to continue on with this spiraling friendship we had.

I lightly pulled at the flaps and saw the last family picture we had taken together sitting on top of old envelopes, necklaces and tickets to the things we had attended together. I instantly felt my eyes spark into water works, but I managed to hold back what I could to take out the picture. It felt so old, but it was only nearly two years in the making. I folded up the box and looked down at Norman's leather jacket. I let out a quiet sigh before pulling it from the chair and over my shoulders.

I neatly tucked the picture away in his pocket and snaked my car keys from the table. I wouldn't have to get Sammi from school for another few hours, so I would take the time to sit with Norman without any distractions. He deserved more than a long, and rather boring explanation, but I wanted to make sure he knew what he was getting into. I would think that someone would run the first chance they got than be friends with someone as needy as ourselves.

I hugged the thick leather tighter to my small body as I made my way out to my car. The interior was freezing as I sat on the driver's seat, but I managed to get the car running without any worry. The drive was short, being that he lived only a few minutes from my house, but it didn't stop me from wanting to pull out and drive back home. I had a sick feeling to my stomach, but it could be that I didn't know how Norman was going to react to what I was going to tell him.

Would he demand me out of his house and take back what he said last night? Was he going to wonder why he bothered with me in the first place? Despite all the bad feelings that were bottling up inside of me, I pried open my noisy door and got out. I slipped a few times on the thin ice to his drive way, but I managed to get my way to his door none the less. I kept a hard hand on the pocket that held the picture as I made my way to his front door.

Before I could chicken out and turn away, I rose my hand and knocked a few times. I gently pulled the picture from my pocket and looked down at what we used to have. A small smile creeped its way onto my lips as Norman quietly opened the front door. I looked up, finding that he held not only the smile I had come accustomed to seeing, but a look of shock, as if he never expected to see me again. I clutched the picture in my hand tightly and said, "I want to talk to you."

"Come inside, first. It's freezing."Norman stepped aside, allowing me access to his beautiful home once more.

I felt the heat brush up against me the further I went in and I sighed quietly. It certainly felt much better than the blistering cold outside. I turned back to Norman, who had his arms wrapped loosely around his chest and said, "I thought about what you said last night. I want to apologize for being such a bitch about everything. I realized that I can think about myself without feeling bad about anything. It might take some time, but I think I can get used to it."

"Rascal, it's fine."Norman chuckled quietly."Want some coffee? I just made some."

I felt my smile widen as I said, "Sure, I'd love some."

I followed him into his kitchen, where he offered me a seat at his island counter. Norman made two large cups of coffee before setting one down in front of me. I placed the picture down on the counter, just to wrap my fingers tightly around the warm cup I had gotten. I sipped lightly from the mug and whispered, "It's amazing."

"I didn't forget."Norman winked."Now, what did you want to talk about?"

I set the cup down once more and plucked the family photo from his counter. I pushed it in his direction and said, "That's my whole family. My mom, dad, my brother Connor, my sister Sandra, myself and the little girl that holds us all together."

Norman took the photo from my fingers and chuckled at the picture. I watched as his eyes scanned every inch of the photo, as if he were taking in every detail it had to offer him. When he finally looked up from the picture, he said, "You have a beautiful family, Rascal. But, who's this?"

He set the picture down, spun it toward me and pressed a thick finger to myself. I cupped a hand over my mouth to hide my smile and said, "That's me."

"You?"He laughed."You look so different."

"Yeah, I know, I was chubby."I smiled.

"You weren't chubby."Norman playfully glared in my direction."You look healthy."

He pulled the picture back to him and absentmindedly took a swig of his steaming cup of coffee. He ran a hand over his chin and asked, "Why do you take care of Sammi, if your parents are here?"

"That's what I wanted to tell you. I have a lot on my plate and I want you to at least comprehend what I'm doing. Kind of like what you're getting yourself into, I guess."I whispered softly.

Norman's eyes perked up in my direction and he waited patiently for me to continue. I took in a deep breath, knowing that telling him this long, agonizing story would be hard. I took one last sip of my coffee and said, "My father passed away two years ago from terminal cancer. He was kind of like the clown of the family, you know? You had a hard day or something upset you. You know by the time you got home he would have a trick up his sleeve to make you feel better. Even when he had a few days left."

I could feel a cold lump get stuck in my throat and I tried to clear it. I let my eyes fall from Norman and onto the table, where I hoped he wouldn't notice the glimer of tears in my eyes. I tensed up, though, when he gently took my hand in his.

"I'm sorry, Rascal."He whispered.

"My mother grew into her age shortly after he passed away. She's currently in a nursing home due to her dimensia. Connor and Sandra moved out by the time my father had passed away, so they were able to continue on with what they wanted to do. Myself? Well, I used all of my paychecks that I got to help pay for his bills. Once my mom went into her home, I took on the role of mommy for Sammi's sake."I breathed."She's a good girl, Norman. She really is."

I pulled my hand from Norman's to wipe at my eyes. I felt horrible for getting upset in front of him, but this topic was certainly rubbing up against my weak spot. I've never taken the time to explain to others what had happened to our family. How it was torn apart by something we couldn't fight against. I cleared my throat and said, "She's the best thing that's happened to me. I wanted to show you this picture and hope that you understand my side of the story."

Norman sat back and let the picture sit in front of him on the table. He crossed his arms over his chest once more and asked quietly, "How many houses have you been in, Rascal?"

I let out a deep breath and said, "Five different places. There were shelters in between."

Norman sat forward as he mouthed wow and brushed a hand through his long hair. He looked down at the picture once more and said, "Well, I can't say I know how you feel."

"I know. It's just scary, you know? Not knowing if you can make the rent for the month. If you can put a plate of food on the table for who you're supposed to be taking care of."I stopped for a moment to wipe at my eyes."If I lose track of what I'm doing for even just a moment, I find that I screw things up. Not just a little bit, but a lot. That's why I've been ignoring you for so long, Norman. I didn't want to. I had to in order to keep things on track."

"Rascal,"Norman reached forward and took my hands in his own."I don't want you to feel like that anymore. You need anything, and I mean anything, you give me a call. Write me a letter. Fuck it, come on over if you need to. I mean it, Rascal. I don't want you going through all of this bullshit anymore. Especially for Sammi's sake."

"Thankyou, Norman."I laughed quietly, but it was more so to keep from sounding like an idiot."I wont ask for anything, but thankyou."

"I kind of figured."Norman and I broke into a small fit of laughter at his comment.

The room slowly grew silent and I watched as he ran his thumbs over my soft hands. I swallowed hard and looked up at Norman once more when he asked, "You want to finish that zombie - thon we started a few weeks back while the kids are still in school?"

"That sounds good."I pulled back and reached up for my eyes once more to wipe them dry."Nothing like good old blood and guts to make you feel better."

"That's what I was thinking."He winked.

Norman rose from his seat and gently tugged at the leather of his jacket for me to follow. I slowly got from my seat, grabbed my cup of nuke warm coffee and followed him into the living room. Norman plopped down onto his beautiful leather couch and patted the seat next to him. I sat down slowly, enjoying the cushion that his couch offered. Norman pressed a few buttons on his remote and within a few seconds, the rest of Dawn Of The Dead came flashing onto the screen.

I accidently let out a quiet gasp of surprise when Norman pulled me closer into his side. I chuckled lightly as a splash of coffee landed on his jeans, but he never seemed to notice. He wrapped a tight arm over my shoulder and ushered my head into his chest for comfort. I let out a relaxed sigh, knowing that my suspicions of him being angry with me were wrong. I pulled my legs up into my chest, sipped from my cup and whispered, "I could get used to this."