I Can Still Be Your Superman

Listen While You Read - 'All About Us': He is We
'Bleed No More' - Evanescence

“Morgan and Cameron sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage –”

“You know Jenn, taunting me does not help me in the slightest.” I said, stopping her from singing the rest of that stupid song.

“Why do you need to decide what you’re going to wear now? The date isn’t until tomorrow. You’re gonna change your mind at least five times between now and then.” Jenn whined into the phone.

I grabbed my Starbucks order and walked out of the café. “But it’s always good to be prepared.” I said and sipped my Frappachino. “So what do you think: heels or sneakers?”

Jenn sighed, “Don’t you have to go to work or something?”

“Walking there now, so I have time. Now, come on Jenn, help me. I’m desperate.”

“Morgan, you know whatever you wear Cameron will love it; it doesn’t matter.”

“But it matters to me!” I cried.

“Wow, when did you become a girl? Where’s the Morgan I know who threw on whatever she wanted ten minutes before she left? What happened to you?” Jenn said laughing. “Seems like someone wants to make someone else jealous.”

I scrunched my eyebrows together, “What are you talking about?”

“Oh come on, don’t play dumb. The only reason why you’re getting so worked up over your outfit for Friday is because you want to look hot to make Nick jealous.”

“What!? Not at all. I told you, I’m over him. I want to look good on Friday because I want to look good for Cameron. That’s all.” I said walking into the lobby of Hollywood Records. “Besides, Nick doesn’t even know about my date on Friday. I haven’t told him.”

“Well he knows.”

I rolled my eyes, “How could he possibly know? He and Cameron aren’t friends and I haven’t told anyone but you. Did you tell him?” I asked, my voice rising. The elevator doors opened and I walked on, letting it take me to the sixteenth floor.

“Of course not…” She paused. “But I may have told Demi who told Joe who told Nick.”

“Jenn!”

“What? I didn’t know this was some big secret. Besides, I thought you would want him to know.”

“I don’t care if he knows or not.” I said sighing and walked out of the elevator, towards the studio. “I mean, I kinda already told him that Cameron and I were dating.”

“But…” Jenn pushed.

“But I’d rather him hear it from me rather than his brother through Demi through you from me.”

“Well he’ll probably ask about it today, so just tell him then.”

I sighed, “That’s not the point.” I huffed, pushing open the door to the studio. “Look, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“This isn’t over!” Jenn yelled as I hung up.

“Jenn?” Uncle John asked.

I smirked, “Yeah.” I placed my bag on one of the chairs near the door. “Where’s Nick?” I asked, noticing that he still wasn’t here. He was the one who called this, whatever it actually was.

“In one of the conference rooms with the rest of the band; you’re meeting them today.” He said and walked towards the door. “I was just waiting for you.”

“Fantastic.” I said sarcastically and picked up my bag, following him out of the studio. “So what, is it like a band meeting?”

“Yeah basically, you’re going to meet the band and then we’re going to talk about recording and touring and stuff.”

I nodded and stayed quiet, the word ‘touring’ shooting fear through my body. As much as I tried, I couldn’t completely push away my fear, my memories.

“You’ll be great,” Uncle John tried to reassure me, noticing my tense muscles.

I tried to relax and breathe calmly as he opened a door to a conference room. It wasn’t very large, only just big enough to fit a round table that sat eight people. Nick was seated in between three older gentlemen and rose once he spotted Uncle John and me. “Hey guys, good timing.” He said. “Take a seat.”

Uncle John nodded and sat next to a rather large man who had glasses and a Mohawk. Nervous, I took the seat next to Uncle John, leaving two seats between Nick and me.

“Guys, this is Morgan.” Nick introduced me, sitting down. “Morgan, this is the Administration – Sonny Thompson plays the guitar, Tommy Barbarella plays the keyboard, and Michael Bland is our drummer.”

I smiled shyly at my new band mates, but kept quiet.

“We hear you have some pipes Morgan. That true?” Tommy asked.

I shrugged, “I guess, I never really analyzed my singing ability.”

“Modest, I like it.” Sonny said, smiling at me.

I smiled back, “Thanks.”

“Are we going to hear your voice or just keep talking about it?” Michael asked.

“You’ll hear it later when we run through some songs.” Nick answered for me. “But, there are a few things we need to cover before that. Now, I know we’re all doing other projects and whatnot, so just email me the days when you aren’t available. I’ll make up a recording schedule afterwards. For this record, there isn’t a rush to get anything done, so the schedule is flexible. However, the record company would like a release date sometime before the end of the year.

“Morgan, I was thinking that you could play the guitar with Sonny and myself every once in a while. It’ll add another layer to the sound. That okay?” He asked, his gaze bouncing between us.

“It’s alright with me.” Sonny said.

“Sounds good,” I said.

Nick smiled, “Great. Now, I talked to Pleasac about adding Morgan to the band. He thinks it’s a great idea, but he wants us to play a few shows sometime this summer or fall to see the fans reaction towards her.”

“How many shows are we talking about?” Uncle John asked, leaning forward.

“We didn’t really talk specific numbers, but not many. Just a few around the country; kind of like the Who I Am tour. He also suggested playing a few other random dates before then, but again, nothing specific.” Nick replied, glancing at me quickly.

I smiled meekly, “I think I can handle that.” I hope.

His smile grew wider, “Great. That’s all I have to say. Want to go to the studio and hear what we’ve been working on?”

“I want to hear Morgan’s pipes before anything else.” Tommy said as he stood; Michael and Sonny quickly agreeing.

“Alright then, let’s go.” Uncle John said, leading them to the studio with Nick and I in tow.

“What are we going to do?” I whispered to Nick?

“I was thinking ‘All About Us’. It showcases your voice more than mine.”

My breath caught in my throat. “But we wrote that song months ago. I don’t remember how it goes.” I lied. I knew exactly how it went. I sang that song at least once a day for the first month after Disney. While Nick was on my bus for that week, we wrote ‘All About Us’ together. It’s very lovey-dovey and brings memories back that I don’t want to remember. Not now anyway.

He smirked, “That’s okay.” He said as he tapped his satchel that hung across his body. “I have the sheet music.”

I sighed, “Fantastic.”

“What’s the problem? I thought you liked that song.”

“I did – I do. It’s just…” I trailed off, sighing again. “Nothing, it doesn’t matter. Let’s just go and sing the song.” I walked into the studio and pushed past them all to walk into the booth.

“Someone’s eager,” Uncle John teased.

Yeah, eager to get this over with, I thought but didn’t respond. I just grabbed two acoustic guitars and brought them out. I hated this and I had a feeling Nick was doing this on purpose. The whole reason for distancing myself from Nick was to forget him and everything that happened. And, as soon as I moved on and was able to forget, or suppress, what we had, Nick found a way to pull me back. He always found a way.

I handed Nick one of the guitars and sat in a chair facing Uncle John, Tommy, Sonny, and Michael. Nick spread the music on the table in front of us, though I doubt either of us really needed it.

“You ready?” He asked. I simply nodded as I placed my fingers on the correct strings. He began to tap out the beat with his food and said, “One, two, three,” before we began to strum.

(Morgan, Nick, Both)

Take my hand, I’ll teach you to dance
I’ll spin you around, won’t let you fall down
Would you let me lead? You can step on my feet
Give it a try, it’ll be alright

The room’s hush, hush and now’s our moment
Take it in feel it all and hold it
Eyes on you, eyes on me
We’re doing this right

‘Cause
Lovers dance when they’re feeling in love
Spot lights shining, it’s all about us
It’s all about us
And every heart it the room will melt
This is a feeling I’ve never felt
But, it’s all about us

Suddenly, I’m feeling brave
Don’t know what’s got into me
Why I feel this way
Can we dance real slow
Can I hold you real close

The room’s hush, hush and now’s our moment
Take it in feel it all and hold it
Eyes on you, eyes on me
We’re doing this right

‘Cause
Lovers dance when they’re feeling in love
Spot lights shining, it’s all about us
It’s all about us
And every heart it the room will melt
This is a feeling I’ve never felt

Do you hear that love, they’re playing our song
Do you think we’re ready, yeah I’m really feeling it
Do you hear that love, do you hear that love

Do you hear that love, they’re playing our song
Do you think we’re ready, yeah I’m really feeling it
Do you hear that love
Do you hear that love

Do you hear that love, they’re playing our song
Do you think we’re ready, yeah love I’m really feeling it
Do you hear that love
Do you hear that love

Lovers dance when they’re feeling in love
Spotlight’s shining, it’s all about us
It’s all

Every heart in the room will melt
This is a feeling I’ve never felt but
It’s all about us
‘Cause lovers dance when they’re feeling in love
Spotlight’s shining, it’s all about us
Yeah
This is a feeling I’ve never felt but
It’s all about us

We stopped strumming and Uncle John, Tommy, Michael, and Sonny began to applaud. “Good job Morgan; great song guys.” Uncle John said.

“You can belt it, I’ll give you that.” Sonny said. “But do you have a large range?”

“Why don’t we play another song?” Nick suggested.

“Another song?” I asked, glancing at Nick. I barely wanted to do this one.

“If it’s not too much to ask.” Michael said.

“Okay,” I said, standing. Nick stood and began to follow me to the booth. “No, stay.” I said, turning towards him.

“What song are you doing?” He asked, confused.

“My song.” I pushed out with as much confidence as I could muster. Nick stayed where he was, shocked, as I walked into the band booth and sat at the piano. He knew that by doing this, I’d be one more step away from my old self, proving that I wasn’t the same person I was before. Thanks to him. He, again, found a way into my mind and pushed me pass my limit. But this time, I’m getting him back. A little revenge is always a good thing.

I sat at the piano, took a deep breath, and closed my eyes. I placed my hands on the keys and imagined that I was in my basement alone as I played the notes.

I’ve been looking in the mirror for so long
That I’ve come to believe my soul’s on the other side
All the little pieces falling, shatter
Shards of me
Too sharp to put back together
Too small to matter
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
If I try to touch her,

And I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.

Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child
Lie to me
Convince me that I’ve been sick forever
And all of this
Will make sense when I get better
But I know the difference
Between myself and my reflection
I just can’t help but to wonder
Which of us do you love

So I bleed,
I bleed
And I breathe
I breathe no
Bleed
I bleed
And I breathe
I breathe
I breathe
I breathe no more

I finished playing the final notes before opening my eyes gain. I couldn’t believe I just did that. I didn’t plan to sing that song, I just let it flow out of me. I wanted to get him back, but did I really want to say that to him?

I wrote that song after tour, when I was sitting at home. Alone. No Nick, no anyone, I just sat and waited for him, for someone. That’s when I thought, did they love me or just who they thought was me?

Did I want Nick to know how I questioned our relationship? I guess I did.

“Morgan, can you come out here please?” Uncle John’s voice came through the speakers, bouncing off the walls.

I sighed, sliding off the piano bench and walked back into the main part of the studio. Once I reached the group of guys huddled around the table in the center of the room, Nick handed me a small stack of papers. “What is this?” I asked, flipping through them quickly.

“Your contract.” He said, smiling, but it wasn’t as wide as it was before.

“I read it all over and it’s all good. Just sign it and you’ll officially be a part of Nick Jonas and the Administration.” Uncle John said, handing me a pen.

I looked around at Michael, Tommy, and Sonny who all had broad smiles on their faces. I bent over and signed my name, Morgan Daly, on the dotted line.