I Can Still Be Your Superman

Listen while you read: 'To Whom It May Concern' - The Civil Wars

“So I’ll see you later?” I asked, leaning against the studio’s door, the knob in my hand.

“You better,” Cameron said smiling and bent down slightly to kiss me. “See you later.” He said once he pulled away and walked down the hall towards his studio.

I opened the door and put my things down on a chair. Taking a deep breath, I looked around at the empty studio – my studio (for the time being anyway). Everyone wasn’t coming in for another half hour, but I came in early to set things up (plus Cameron, my ride, had to come in this morning too). But truthfully, I wanted some time to relax; I was scared shitless. I had no idea if I would be able to run everything alone, even if it was only for a few weeks.

I tried to push all of my thoughts to the back of my mind and remembered that I wasn’t alone. Nick was here to help; this was his CD after all. I took a deep breath and walked into the band booth to make sure everything was tuned. While I was tuning the bass there was a loud knock on the glass, making me jump. I looked up and saw Nick laughing and holding two Starbucks cups and a brown paper bag.

I walked out of the booth towards him. “You’re early.” I said, grabbing the caramel Frappachino that he held out towards me.

“Well, I need to talk to you and I hoped you were here.” He said, bringing the paper bag to the table in the middle of the room and took our two muffins.

“What do you mean ‘hoped you were here’? Where else would I be? We’re recording.”

“You never came home last night, so I didn’t know…”

“Oh,” I said. “I, uh, crashed at my house last night.”

“I figured you did something like that.” He said with a hint of aggression.

I tried to look past it and took a sip of my Frappachino. “So, what song are we doing?”

“You could have at least told me or something.” Nick said, completely ignoring my question.

“What song are we doing?” I asked again, with annoyance laced through my tone.

“You should have at least called me.”

That was it. “Well, I’m sorry I didn’t fucking call you!” I yelled, my anger bubbling up inside. “Last time I checked, you weren’t my fucking father and I didn’t have to check in with you every half hour about where I am!”

“I know I’m not your father, but I was worried about you. You didn’t come home at all!” He yelled back.

“Your house is not my home!” I screeched. “My home is where I stayed last night. That is my house, my home. And the last time I checked, I don’t need your permission to stay in it.”

“But I had no idea where the hell you were! Do you think I was just going to let that go?”

“I didn’t know I had to tell you – I shouldn’t have to tell you. You are not someone who can control my life.” I said through gritted teeth before taking a deep breath. “I didn’t choose to live with you. You and Uncle John chose that for me. So, I do not need to check in with you about where I am or where I am staying the night. I’m eighteen. I can take care of myself.”

“I would’ve like to know –”

“I don’t care what you would have liked!” I yelled. “It’s not your choice and you don’t need to know!” I took a few deep breaths before speaking again. “What song are we doing?”

“None. We’re not recording until Monday.”

“Why?”

“Turns out the record company wants to tell the public about you and the upcoming tour and album soon than I expected.” Nick said, his tone changing drastically.

My breath caught in my throat. “How much sooner?”

“Tomorrow,” He replied cautiously. The back of my knees found one of the chairs around the table and I collapsed into it. “It’ll be fine. It’s nothing major, just a radio interview and a tiny performance and a live chat.”

“A performance?” I asked wide eyed. “Like singing in front of people.”

“Not really, just in the radio station and it’s only like two or three songs. But you knew you’d have to perform in front of people.”

“I know, I just thought it wouldn’t be this soon.” I said sighing, placing my head in my hands.

I heard Nick sigh and he tried to grab my hand, taking it off my face. “Hey, look at me.” He said softly, crouching down in front of me. When I didn’t move, he gripped my chin between two of his fingers, pulling my head up towards his. “It’s going to be okay. Yeah, it’s a little sooner than expected, but you’ll be great and I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

A soft smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. “Thanks Nick.” I said and pulled myself gently out of his grasp. “You are the only person that can make me go from completely pissed at you to grateful in seconds. It’s amazing.”

He laughed slightly, “I’ll take that as a compliment, I guess. It’s only because I care about you Morgan.”

“I know,” I said, looking directly into his eyes. I felt my stomach flip and my throat tighten. No, no, this can’t happen, I thought. Not now, not anymore. I tore my gaze away as quickly as I could and cleared my throat nervously. “So, um, what are we going to do?” I asked.

Nick sighed and pulled himself off the floor and into the chair next to me. “Well, we have to figure out what we’re going to do tomorrow; singing wise and stuff. And we have to prepare you for the interview. Ryan Seacrest can be brutal sometimes.”

I nodded, “Then we better get started.”

***

The next morning, I was already in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal when Nick woke up.

“Hey,” He said, rubbing his eyes as he walked out of his room. “You’re up already.”

“Yeah, I didn’t sleep particularly well.”

“Nerves?” He asked, pouring himself a bowl of cereal.

“Yeah, just a little.” I said and put my empty bowl in the sink. “I can’t imagine what I’ll be like when we actually have to play in front of people.” I tried to push out a nervous laugh, but it sounded more like a wheezing cough.

“You’ll be fine, just relax and take a few deep breaths.”

I tried to take deep breaths, but that seemed to make me panic more. “What if Ryan doesn’t like me? What if the fans don’t like me? What if I forget the words to the songs? Or the chords? What if –”

Nick cut my rant by placing his hand over my mouth. “Morgan, stop. You are going to be fine. You know all of the music by heart. Ryan and the fans will love you. You have nothing to worry about and I’ll be with you the entire time.” He said calmly, his hand still on my mouth.

I took a deep breath and tried to loosen the tension in my shoulders. Truth is, his words actually did calm me slightly. My stomach was still in knots and I felt like I was getting a headache, but I was more comfortable about everything than I was before.

As he watched me slowly relax, Nick’s hand slowly fell off my face. “Thanks Nick, I really needed that.” I said, smiling.

“It’s what I’m here for.” He said, smiling too. “But we need to get ready and leave soon.”

I nodded and followed him out of the kitchen and we went into our respective bedrooms. After brushing my teeth and putting on a light layer of foundation and some black mascara and eyeliner, I threw on a pair of black skinny jeans and a neon blue tube top, my black biker jacket and my neon blue Converse sneakers. I brushed my hair and pulled it back partially, leaving a few strands to frame my face along with my fringe.

When I walked back out into the living room, Nick was already ready and waiting. He was wearing a simply pair of dark blue jeans with a beige long sleeved shirt.

“Only you would wear a long sleeved shirt in the middle of April.” I said, laughing.

He smiled. “Says the girl in the jacket. Ready to go?”

I sighed and grabbed my bag off of the table near the front door. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

We walked to the elevator and to Nick’s Mustang in the parking lot. With Nick in the driver’s seat, we drove to Kiis-FM studio for our interview.
…Hey princess
In a white dress
Chuck Taylors, got be ob-

“Hello,” I answered my phone, an immediate smile forming on my face.

“Hey,” Cameron’s soft voice filled my head. It still had a hint of tiredness and relaxation, so I guess he just woke up. “I just wanted to wish you good luck with the interview and live chat today.”

“Thanks. Are you going to listen?”

“Well of course! What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t?”

I laughed. “A normal one. Most don’t have to listen to their girlfriend on the radio.”

“Hm, that’s true. Then I guess we aren’t normal. Being normal is overrated anyway.” He said, laughing. “Plus, I finally get to hear you sing.”

I felt a small blush rise to my cheeks. “I guess you do. Though, I’m not sure it has the same effect as it would have live.”

“Well of course not, but we’ll save that for later.”

I felt my cheeks get hotter. “I gotta go Cameron, we just pulled in. Quick question though,” I said as I got out of the car once Nick parked.

“Yeah?”

“If Ryan asks about, you know, us, what do you want me to say?”

“You mean, like go public?”

“Yeah, we don’t have to if you don’t want to but…” I trailed off.

It was a few, long seconds before Cameron responded. “Well,” He started, taking a deep breath. “I’m okay with it. Only if you are though, no pressure.”

A smile grew on my face. “Okay, I really gotta go now. I’ll see you later.”

“See you and good luck.” Cameron said before I hung up.

“Ready?” Nick asked sharply.

I gave him a strange look, but ignored his tone for the most part. “Yes, let’s go.” I said and followed him inside.

We were greeted by the producer of the show. He led us to a room right off of the studio. “Okay, you two are on in five. Just wait here until the commercial break and go in to get set up.” He said before leaving Nick and I alone. Rihanna’s new song ‘S&M’ was playing and I could see Ryan Seacrest looking through some papers in front of him through a piece of glass separating the two rooms.

“Are you okay?” Nick asked, noticing my black stare as I watched Ryan.

“Wha- yeah. I’ll be fine. I just kinda want to get this over with.”

“Don’t worry, it’ll be over before you know it.” Nick said, smiling.

“That was ‘S&M’ by Rihanna,” Ryan’s voice filled the room once the song was over. “We’re going to take a quick break and we’ll be back with the one and only Nick Jonas. Don’t go anywhere.” The Kiis-FM mantra started and Nick and I walked into the studio.

Ryan stood when he saw us. “Nick! Good to see you again.” He said, reaching over the microphones to shake Nick’s hand. “And this lovely lady must be Morgan Fields. It’s such a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise.” I said, smiling broadly as I shook his hand.

“Take a seat, take a seat.” He said, gesturing us towards the two chairs set up in front of two microphones. “Now, Morgan, did Nick fill you in and everything? Like how this is all going to work.”

“Yeah, he did. Unless he left anything out.” I said, following Nick who was placing the studio’s headphones in his ears.

“I didn’t leave anything out… I don’t think.” Nick said laughing.

“You’ll do great. Just speak clearly into the microphone and don’t push any buttons.”

“Go it.” I said, as I heard the commercials finishing up.

“And we’re back, you’re listening to Kiis-FM, On Air with Ryan Seacrest. Right now, I have with me the youngest Jonas Brother and a special guest – please welcome Nick Jonas and Morgan Fields.” He said, clapping.

“Thank you for having us.” Nick said graciously. “It’s great to be here.”

“Now, I understand you have a bit of news Nick. Care to share?”

“Yes, well first,” Nick started, glancing quickly at me. “I’m in the process of recording a new Nick Jonas and the Administration album.”

A smile lit up Ryan’s face. “Another solo album? Congrats man,” He said to Nick before turning to me. “And I’m guessing you’re helping produce it Morgan? I know you and your uncle, John Fields, worked on Selena Gomez’s new album that’s coming out in a few months.”

“Well yes Ryan, I am. But I have also just recently joined the band.” I replied.

“Wow, that’s incredible! You’ll be like the First Lady to Mr. President over here.” Ryan said, making everyone laugh.

“No,” Nick said. “I like to refer to her as Secretary of State or Speaker of the House. But Morgan doesn’t really go for the political puns.”

I smiled, “What can I say? I don’t enjoy politics.”

“I will agree with you on that one. Now, this new album, can you give us any details? Like how is it different than the last?”

“Well,” Nick started, clearing his throat. “We’re not sure as to what songs we’ll put on this record since we haven’t started finalizing anything yet. But the songs we have so far are a little different than the ones on Who I Am. Morgan actually helped create and write a majority of the songs, which gives it a different spin stylistically. As of right now, the songs have more of a rock band type of feel, whereas my last album was very blues infused rock.”

“Does this second new album mean the end of the Jonas Brothers?”

“Oh no, definitely not. Just for right now, we’re all enjoying doing our own thing – Kevin enjoying married life and Joe recording a solo album of his own.”

“Well that’s great, I know a lot of our listeners want their Jonas Brothers back.”

Nick laughed. “Don’t worry, we didn’t go anywhere.”

Ryan smiled, “So, what made you decide to add Morgan to the band?”

“Well, she’s a great musician first off. What she’s contributed to my song writing is completely amazing and sometimes, breathtaking, really. She’s very versatile – she can play five different instruments and has an amazing voice. Pretty much, the culmination of those things made me realize that I needed her to join me and the band.”

“Awe, thanks Nick.” I said, blushing slightly. “I never knew you thought so highly of me.” I said, laughing slightly.

“You sound like a very talented woman Morgan.” Ryan said, his glance dancing between Nick and I. “Did you ever thing you’d be asked to join Nick Jonas and the Administration?”

“Oh God, no. When he asked, I was completely surprised. But, thinking back, he was kind of building towards it. First, he asked me to sing with him for a song he was recording, and then to write a song with him, and the produce for him, and then sing on the album. I really should have seen it coming, but I just didn’t.”

“Nick, when did you realize that you wanted Morgan to join the band? It must’ve been awhile ago since you built up to it.” Ryan said, laughing.

“Well, I tried to do it conspicuously, but I guess not.” Nick responded, laughing too. “I knew that Morgan was talented for awhile. She was John Fields’ intern at the time, and she helped me record ‘Before the Storm’ for the Jonas Brothers’ last album. Everyone in the studio was blown away to say the least because none of us heard her sing before then. But, I knew I wanted to work with her while I was on tour last summer. We were in New York and the two of us were in the hotel watching Moulin Rouge. And we ended up performing one of the numbers right there in the room, theatrics and all. That’s when I knew she needed to join the band.”

“Wow, you waited, what, eight months before asking? Why?”

“Well, I wanted her to warm up to the idea, and it just took longer than expected.” He responded making everyone laugh.

“Morgan – how old are you anyway?”

“Eighteen.”

“Really? Wow, so what you’ve accomplished in this short time is even more impressive.”

I smiled, “I guess, but it really matters depending on what you’re talking about.”

“Well, what I’m talking about is the fact that you’ve already been nominated for a Grammy, produced four albums, and written numerous songs for artists ranging from Katy Perry to Selena Gomez and wrote one of the songs for the new Glee episode airing next week. And you’ve all done that in less than a year! I must ask – are you Superwoman?”

I laughed, “Sadly, I’m not. It’s true, all of that has happened in such a short amount of time. I mean, I only moved out here in July. It’s all too surreal for words. But, I’ve been working on songwriting and playing music for years before I came out here, so I guess I’m just trying to make up for lost time.” I said, laughing nervously.

“But seriously, how do you find the time to do all of that? I mean, you’re only eighteen – there’s plenty of time to do everything. Do you ever relax and just have fun?”

“Of course I do. With the producing, I have the help of my uncle who’s been doing this for years. And, I wrote a lot of the songs while I was on the road with the Jonases – I actually wrote ‘Firework’ and ‘Get It Right’, the Glee song, while on the road. I stayed on the boys’ recording bus, so I had instruments and stuff right there, and I was the only person on the bus, so I could play all night if I wanted to.”

“Are any of the songs you wrote exclusively, Morgan, going to be on the album?”

“We haven’t started recording yet, so we don’t know the exact tracklist yet.” I replied, casting a quick glance towards Nick. “But maybe.” I continued, lying. We both knew nothing I wrote on my own would ever leave the box under my bed, besides the ones I’ve let out already. And those, I don’t sing.

“Well, do you two have a song writing process?”

“It all depends. Sometimes the music comes first – others, the lyrics or just a melody. And other times we start completely from scratch and just try to come up with a concept. We both try to draw from experiences that we’ve been through and such to write all the songs, so it all depends on the situation.”

“This song that I’m going to play in a few minutes – ‘Stay’ it’s called – what’s it about? It’s a live recording right?”

“That’s correct.” Nick started. “I wrote ‘Stay’ while I was on the rode the first time with the Administration. It’s basically a song about how I was apologizing to this girl who I had broken up with recently and how I realized all I wanted was for her to stay with me.”

“So Morgan, you’re not on the track?” Ryan asked.

“Sadly no Ryan, but you’ll hear me later when Nick and I perform a new song.”

“Right, how could I forget?” He said laughing. “We’ll be right back with Nick Jonas and Morgan Fields, right now it’s ‘Stay’ by Nick Jonas and the Administration. This is Kiis-FM.” Ryan said before pushing a button and the beginning notes of the song rang in the headphones.

Nick and Ryan pulled their headphones off, so I followed suit. “Did it really take eight months to ask?” Ryan asked.

Nick laughed. “Yeah, but there was about four months or so where we didn’t see each other. So, I couldn’t necessarily ask her then.”

“Why didn’t you see each other?”

Nick and I exchanged a quick glance. “We were both busy doing our own thing.” Nick answered. “I was in London and she was here, and then there were the holidays and stuff. It was just a good thing that we ran into each other at the Grammy’s.” Yeah, very fortunate, I thought but kept my mouth shut.

For the few minutes left of the song, Ryan and Nick talked about London and Les Miserables. I simply stayed quiet until the song was over.

“And we’re back. That was ‘Stay’ by Nick Jonas and the Administration. I have with me Nick Jonas and Morgan Fields.” Ryan said before taking a breath. “I have to ask, are you two seeing each other?”

“No,” We both answered at the same time.

“We’re just friends.” I extended.

“But you were dating?” Ryan pushed. When he was hit by our silence, he added. “Come on, remember those pictures from Disney a few months ago.”

My heart sunk to my stomach – Disney…

“Yes,” Nick answered shortly. “We did date for a short amount of time, but decided it was better to just be friends.”

“Well, are either of you dating someone now?”

“No, not at the moment.” Nick replied. My breath caught in my throat. No? What happened to Samantha? I wanted to ask, but knew better and kept my mouth shut.

“And you Morgan? Are you dating anyone?”

It took a few seconds, but I snapped back into reality. “Yes, yes I am actually.”

Ryan’s face lit up. “Really? Do we know him?” He asked.

I shrugged. “You may. His name is Cameron Quiseng; he’s in a band called Allstar Weekend.” I said and out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Nick’s fist clench under the table.

“Hm, they don’t ring any bells. I might just have to check them out.”

“You should.” I said smiling. “They’re really good. They have a new single too called ‘Not Your Birthday’.”

Ryan laughed. “Duly noted.” He looked between Nick and I. “Well, we’re going to go to a commercial break and when we come back, Nick and Morgan will perform their new song live. Stay tuned, this is Kiis-FM.” Ryan said before pushing a button, pulling off his headphones and rising. “It was very nice seeing you again Nick.” He said, shaking Nick’s hand.

“Likewise,” Nick said, smiling.

“And it was a pleasure meeting you Morgan. I don’t think this’ll be the last time I see you.”

I smiled, taking his hand to shake. “I hope not. Nice meeting you too Ryan.”

As Nick and I walked out of Ryan’s studio towards the performance booth, Ryan called out. “Oh, and congrats on the boyfriend Morgan.”

“Thanks.” I said and gave him a tight lipped smile before following Nick hastily into the booth.

“Way to give your boyfriend’s band free publicity.” Nicks said to me as we set up.

“I didn’t mean to. He asked, I answered – just like you told me to.” I replied, pulling the guitar strap over my head, placing it on my lap as I sat on a stool in front of a microphone.

“I didn’t tell you to be that detailed.” Nick hissed.

“I like details.”

“Since when? You usually never give out more than what is asked.”

I sighed, “Just drop it Nick.” I said, pulling on the pair of headphones that hung around the microphone stand.

The commercials were just finishing up and Ryan’s voice rang through my head. “This is On Air with Ryan Seacrest on Kiis-FM. Right now, I have Morgan Fields and Nick Jonas in the booth to perform a new song. Take it away guys.” He said.

“Hey everybody,” Nick said. “This song is called ‘To Whom It May Concern’.” He said and then counted out beats before strumming.

(Nick, Morgan, Both)

Why are you so far from me?
In my arms is where you ought to be
How long will you make me wait?
I don’t know how much more I can take
I missed you, but I haven’t met you
Oh but I want to
How I do

Slowly counting down the days
‘Til I finally know your name
Oh, the way your hand feels round my waist
The way you laugh, the way your kisses taste

I missed you, but I haven’t met you
Oh but I want to
How I do
How I do

I’ve missed you, but I haven’t met you
Oh how I miss you, but I haven’t met you
Oh but I want to
Oh how I want to

Dear whoever you might be
I’m still waiting patiently