Saving Grace

It had been exactly five days since I'd spoken to my boyfriend. What was John's deal? Every time I called or texted him, I would get no answer. I asked Kenny if he was ignoring everyone, but he said that he would take everyone else's calls and text like a mad man. I thought long and hard about what I could have done to upset him and make him ignore me. He even began staying at Jared's every night, and not in our apartment.

Tonight Jared was having a party; both John and I would be there, so he had to talk to me then, right?

I arrived at the party approximately thirty minutes early, and knocked on Jared's door. When the door finally opened, I saw the one and only John O'Callaghan on the other side. He had a beer in his hand and he looked at me before opening the door wider and walking back deep into the house. I stood there shocked for a bit as I watched him walk away. Stepping into the house, I saw the rest of The Maine boys, who all waved and grinned at me. “Hey Scarlett,” they all said, but my focus was on John. He was looking at his beer at the dining table.

“What the fuck did I do?”

Everyone went silent as I spoke these words. John finally looked up at me and stared deep into my eyes. I couldn't tell what his emotion was, he looked just blank. His eyes were filled with nothing.

When he said absolutely nothing, my eyes started to fill with tears. “I don't know what I did, but we're done,” Before anyone could process what I said, I walked towards the door. I took slow steps, hoping maybe he would follow me, and when he didn't, I let the tears flow from my eyes and I walked out. Even when I got to my car, he was nowhere in sight.

I quickly started up my car, and was about to drive off when I saw a figure walk out of the Monaco household. The last bit of hope in me dropped when I saw it was just Kennedy. “Wait, Scar, don't leave,” I could hear him say, and I turned off my engine and unlocked the passenger seat, which he opened and took a seat.

“What do you want, Kenny?” I said, my voice cracking from all the crying I had been doing.

Kenny looked at me with sad eyes before saying, “I wanted to make sure you were okay,”

I nodded before saying, “Okay, well I'm fine, you can leave,”

Of course Kennedy saw right through me. He knew me so well, why did I bother lying to him? “You're lying, Scar,”

I knew I would never convince him, so I just turned to him and let the tears fall once more. He leaned over and hugged me tightly. “Don't cry, baby girl, don't cry,”

“What did I do, Kenny?”

Kennedy shook his head. “I don't know, I wish I knew,”

All of a sudden we heard a knock on the passenger window. Looking up, we saw John, his eyes still full of nothing. I swear for a second I stopped breathing. I let go of Kennedy and he looked at me, and said, “Do you want to talk to him?”

I wasn't sure if I did. Before I could process what I was doing, I nodded. Kennedy got out of the seat, and seconds later, John sat in his place. We sat there for about a minute in silence, just sitting there, before I blurted out to him, “Why are you here, John?”

It took him a while to respond. “I'm sorry for what happened back there,” he whispered, his eyes set on the dashboard.

I scoffed slightly. “You should be, I did absolutely nothing, and-”

John suddenly interrupted me, turning to me, and said, “Are you fucking kidding me?” I looked into his eyes once more, and this time they were filled with anger. Before I could even speak, he continued. “I know what's going on, Scarlett,”

I gave him a confused look, and said, “What are you talking about?”

“I know that you cheated on me and that you're pregnant.”

When the words left his mouth, all I did was narrow my eyes at him. Cheated on him? Pregnant? Where the hell did that assumption come from? I would never in a million years cheat on him, and I was far from pregnant. Why would he even think such a thing?

I chuckled a little. The thought just made me laugh. “John, where the fuck did you get that idea?”

John scoffed. “I found the pregnancy test in the trash can,”

I then understood what the situation was. My best friend, Hanna, came over in tears last week saying that she thought she was pregnant. She took a pregnancy test at my house, and it said positive, but we went to the doctor and he said she was hundred percent not pregnant. I guess when she threw the test away, she threw it in John and I's bathroom's trash can. He probably found it and thought I was seeing someone else, since John and I haven't had sex in almost five, yes five, months. With him doing shows, recording, and other band stuff, we never had any alone time.

I laughed again. “That was Hanna's test, John!” I shook my head in disbelief at him. I can't believe he didn't even ask me about this before he jumped to conclusions. “She came over last week and took the test, but the doctor said the test was wrong, she's not pregnant, and I sure as hell am not pregnant either.”

There was silence in the car as John and I just stared at each other. I could see it in his eyes, he didn't believe it. I could always tell John's mood or feelings when I looked into his eyes. His beautiful green eyes.

“I don't believe you,” I was so busy day dreaming about his eyes, I almost missed the words that came out of his mouth. My eyes widened at him as he continued. “I need proof.”

Laughing, I shook my head. He needed proof. Weren't my words enough? It's not like I've ever cheated or lied to him, why did he decide now that my words weren't enough proof? I was done with this, I was done with him. I was done with him being drunk every night, being gone on tour and never once making an effort to keep in contact a lot, and how he jumped to conclusions.

“Get out of my car,”

John's eyes widened slightly. “What?”

I made no eye contact with him and I said roughly, “Get out of my car, now,” I put my key in the engine again as John opened the car door and slammed it shut. I drove off as soon as I heard the door slam, not even letting him say anything else.

The tears began to form again as I drove to the apartment. He was the one who paid for it, if we were broken up; it was no longer my home. Parking in my parking spot, I got out quickly and sprinted to the door. The sooner I left the better.

As I packed all my belongings, I felt as if my life was being shattered. John and I were together for over two years. But I kept reminding myself that he and I weren't meant to be, that's why I was leaving. I didn't know where I was going to stay, maybe in my car, maybe at a friend's. Maybe I could leave the state. Arizona was never really my home. All I knew was I couldn't stay here, in this apartment.

My phone rang, but I didn't want to talk to anyone. It was probably Kenny or one of the other The Maine boys, heck, maybe it was John.

I was leaving, they weren't stopping me.