Coming Alive in August

Kaitlin's POV:

Ryan takes hold of my shoulders and has me stand in front of him. He stares into my eyes then smiles, relaxes and drops his hands. "What I want you to do is stay relaxed. It took me a lot to be how I am, and a few shots, but I have faith in you. Do you want to be in a relationship with someone?" he talks slowly making his words not seem to mash all together like they usually do.

We've been sitting here for hours just talking. I allowed myself to bring down the wall I have built up my whole life. I told him everything from my parents to where I go to college. He sat and listened to every word then told me things about him. It was lame, but most things I already knew. Is that sad? I don't know, it doesn't matter.

"I don't know. I don't even know how to be in a relationship. People don't like me very much. Last boyfriend I had dumped me in a text and had threatened to kill me. This other guy used me and I found out he had a girlfriend. I don't trust people, Ry. I'm surprised I even said all the things I have to you. I gave you my life story," I stop myself and shake my head disappointed in myself. "I can't be in a relationship because I'm not good enough for anyone," I sigh and close my eyes tightly.

Ryan places his fingers under my chin lifting it up. I open my eyes to see him closer to me. "I'm a picky guy and it took me five seconds of seeing you to me wanting to be around you. When you ran away crying Ian asked me if you were my girlfriend. He asked about you. A normal person wouldn't care if a random person said I love you or kept hurting them," Ryan drops his hand and steps closer again. "I see something in you and Ian clearly does too. He doesn't even know you. I'm going to build you up so you feel confident enough to approach him. Is that what you want?" his eyes look like they are staring into my soul, like he is trying to control my mind in thinking a certain way.

"Of course I would like to approach him and be normal. I've had this stupid fantasy in my head that I'll meet the perfect guy, get married when I'm 23 and have kids when I'm 25. I also thought I would become a writer or join a band but that never happened. I just fail at everything," I blink repeatedly to keep myself from crying in front of him again. I came to California to have fun and all I have been doing is crying.

"You can still become a writer or join a band. You don't have to put things on a timeline. You're young. Come on, practice on me. You don't have to pretend I'm Ian but just let’s do a roll play," he turns away from me for a second then faces me. "Hi, I'm Ryan. I couldn't help but notice your tattoos," he points to my arm.

I rub my hand over my clandestine bat tattoo and nod. "Uh, yeah. I like Clandestine Industries," I instantly feel uncomfortable.

"Are those the only ones you have? The two bats and the ones on your wrists and hand?" he sends me body language that makes it look like he is interested.

"No. I have others on my biceps and one on my back," I swallow hard and look away from him quickly to try and get my mind of things. I shouldn't be getting nervous right now.

"That's cool. I have four of my own. I'm afraid I didn't catch your name though. A pretty girl like you must have a pretty name," he smiles.

I start to laugh at him and roll my eyes. "Ryan, no one would say that. Well, maybe a tool would. Like one that just wants to sex me up," I playfully hit him making him laugh along with me.

"No one says sex me up either. Just play along with me," he sighs happily and folds his arms across his chest.

"I'm Kaitlin, but you can call me Kai," I extend my hand toward him and it takes it in a firm grip.

He smiles and goes back to having his arms folded across his chest. I'm not exactly sure how I am being so relaxed with him. I get this vibe off of him that he is really trying to get me to open up. It’s like that he knows what he is doing will make me become happier. With all the times I have met him, he has treated me like a friend. Today, he is treating me like someone he really cares about. No one has really ever tried to help me concur my fears. He is doing something not because he was told to, but because he wants.

"Ryan?" I mutter and step closer to him. "Thanks," I smile and wrap my arms around his neck. He hesitates for a second before hugging me back.

"Come on, let me take you out for a few drinks. My treat," he moves away breaking from the hug. He raises an eyebrow while smirking.

"Alright, just give me a second to wash up," I smile and leave his side.

(no one's POV)

Ryan sits himself down on the couch in the living room. He kicks up his legs letting his feet rest on the coffee table in front of him. He makes himself at home not really caring he is in a complete stranger’s house. He stares at his phone for a few seconds before texting someone. He never helped people but there was something about Kaitlin that made him want to. She seemed delicate like a child and lost. He knew that he was probably not the best mentor, but he wanted to help her break free. She is only here for a month, and he plans on doing whatever he can to never see her cry again.

Kaitlin comes out into the living after a few minutes with her phone in hand. "I'm ready," she smiles weakly and looks up at the flower clock on the wall. It makes her smile become wide and true. It was a simple present she bought for Claudia when she first bought this apartment.

Ryan stands up from the couch and heads for the door.

Kaitlin's POV:

I glance at Ryan as he leads me toward the bar area of the restaurant. I don't know why he wants me to go out right now. Shouldn't he teach me for a few days on how to be a proper 21 year old instead of bringing me out the first night? I sigh as he stops and texts someone quickly. Watching him makes me want to text Claudia. Ryan elbows me and I look up to see Ian walking toward us. My heart races. I try to turn and walk away but Ryan stops me and holds onto my arm. Ian stops in front of us smiling.

"Hello Ian, this is my new friend Kait," Ryan lets go of my arm and Ian holds his hand out towards me. Ryan nudges me forward and I take Ian's hand. "She's from Vermont," Ryan smiles.

"Actually I'm from Rhode Island, I just go to college in Vermont," I pull my hand away and look towards the ceiling. Why would Ryan do this? I should have figured he'd trick me. Maybe this meant he thought that just talking things over meant I was ready to see Ian. I don't feel ready. I feel something building up in my throat like I will throw up any second. "Uh, where is the restroom?" I choke on my words making me have a coughing fit.

Ryan stands in front of me and grips onto my shoulders staring into my eyes. "Don't freak out. Stay calm. This is the first time you guys are meeting. He is a normal guy. Relax," he coos softly. He pats my cheek lightly then turns to look at Ian. "She's having a hard day. Just a little homesick," Ryan looks back at me again giving me a reassuring smile.

I try to smile back at him but the vomit feeling comes back. I put my hand over my mouth and run away from the two to find the restroom. Ryan should have waited to do this. I can't right now. I need time. I don't understand why Ryan thought that this would work out. He's crazy. Maybe I can sneak out a backdoor without him or Ian noticing.

Claudia's POV:

"Claud, your 7:15 canceled. Looks like you get to leave early," Cindy calls over to me. I watch her hang up the phone. I stand up from my chair and Joe imitates me from where he was sitting in a station next to mine. He looks at his phone for a second then shoves it back into his pocket.

"This wasn't bad. It gives us a normal time to get dinner now," Joe smiles and holds out his hand to me.

I stare at his hand blankly. I slap it with mine then laugh nervously. I refuse to look at him to see his reaction to that. I should have taken his hand but it freaked me out. Why would he want to hold my hand? I sigh confused then walk quickly to the exit of the salon. I hear Joe follow after me. He must think I am weird or crazy. I don't even want to know. Maybe I should call up Kay and have her meet me at the restaurant so I don't have to make this awkward for Joe. I can't possibly go on a date with him right now. I can't bring myself to move once we are in his car. I keep quiet and still. I catch him glancing at me from time to time as he drives down the street.

"Uh, is everything okay?" Joe says after a few minutes of silent. He stops the car at a red light and turns to look at me. He keeps both his hands on the steering wheel. "Do you not want to go out right now? I can leave you alone if I'm bothering you. It’s just, I don't know. You seem really awesome. I just like you I guess. I want to get to know you better," he sighs and looks toward the lights just as it changes to green.

I'm cannot find anything to say to him. I continue to keep myself silent but I feel awful. I see him shake his head out of the corner of my eye. I close my eyes and rest my forehead against the cool window. I allow different scenes play out in my head of what I could say or do right now. None seem like the correct way to handle this. I stay like this till I feel the car come to a stop. I wait for the sound of the car shutting off to lift my head from the window. I look at Joe and swallow hard. He is staring out the windshield.

"Joe," I mumble and lean closer to him. He turns to look at me with sad eyes. I leans the rest of the way toward him and press my lips to his. I don't even know what came over me but I felt like I had to do this. Everything he had said to me I felt the same way back but it’s hard to admit to it. I can't just tell him, Oh, yeah I like you Joe. You should be my boyfriend. That's weird to even think about for me. I pull away from him and sit back in the passenger seat staring off into space. Maybe if I act like nothing happened, he would forget this did.

He clears his throat then opens his car door. "I thought we could come here and get like nachos or something," his voice sounds confused. I look at him and he slaps himself in the forehead before stepping out of his car.

I step out and walk with him to the entrance of the restaurant he brought me to. I need to suck it up and just sit with him and relax. This whole day I have been relaxed, why am I not now?

He opens the door of the restaurant for me and allows me to go in before him. I look back at him and smile. He slips his hand to mine and intertwines our fingers together. I look at him and he blushes but doesn't say a word. I smile and look down at the ground. I like this.

"Oh my god, thank you! Claudia!" the second I look up Kait has hold of my face and is staring at me. "Ryan tricked me. He tricked me into coming here. He's evil. Ian's here. I'm not ready. No, I can't face Ian. Help me escape!" she shrieks and shakes my head. I pull her hands away from my face with my free hand. She starts to breathe heavy.

"Kai, calm down. You can sit with me and Joe," I'm actually kind of happy she ran into me like this. It gave me a perfect excuse to have her join my dinner date with Joe. I look past her and see both Ryan and Ian coming over to us. I take a step back from her causing me to bump into Joe.

"I take you two your table now," the hostess tells us. I look at Joe and he tugs at my hand. I look back at Kait just as Ryan grabs onto her arm.

"Are you alright?" Ryan whispers in her ear.

"I can't do this, Ryan. Just, you should leave me alone," she replies and pulls her arm away.

"Yes you can. I'm not giving up on you. Look, we are having this as you and Ian meeting for the first time. Not you and Ian facing the fact that you keep hurting him. Come on, just talk to him like you talk to me," Ryan's words made me confuse. What did he mean by she kept hurting him? She hasn't told me anything. And how does she talk to him?

"What's going on?" escapes my lips. Joe tugs at my hand again and starts to pull me away with the hostess. I grab onto Kaitlin and pull her with me.

"Ian, go with them. Kai, just remember that every once in a while you need to allow people in your live. Call me later tonight. Just have fun," Ryan calls after Kaitlin. She looks at him then at me for help. I wish I could help her but I have my own problem that I can't even find the right words to help myself.

Ian follows after us but keeps a distance. Ryan turns for the door and leaves. "Kai what's going on?" I ask her softly so only she could hear me.

"Ryan is trying to help me not be so shy and freak out so much. I kept hurting Ian yesterday and I ran away crying. I don't want to scare him away but I keep pushing him away," she mumbles. She sighs and looks at the ground as we walk.

"Is Ryan trying to set you two up? You love Ian, just have fun with it," I give her a smile as in to say 'everything will be alright.' I am being hypocritical though. I am telling her to have fun with Ian yet I am freaking out myself with Joe. I should probably learn to take my own advice before giving it.

"Ryan wants me to have a friend and be normal I guess. I don't know," she shrugs and looks back at Ian. I follow her gaze and he smiles quickly.

"Your waiter will be over softly, enjoy your meal," the hostess smiles and walks away. She brought us to a large booth. I slid in first and then Joe sat next to me. Kait stares at Ian instead of sitting down.

"Want the inside or outside? It doesn't matter to me," he smiles then starts to laugh nervous. He seems like he is just as nervous as she is.

"Uh," Kait looks down at me then slides into the booth. She keeps her eyes locked on mine. "How was your day?" her voice is harsh. She rolls her eyes and groans. "I didn't mean to sound rude. I actually want to know," she says then looks at Ian quickly.

"Slow? Not many people had appointments today and I got to leave early. Joe was good company," I look at him and smile. He has this look on his face like he is proud of something. "How was your day? What did you and Ryan do?" I turn away from Joe slowly and fold my hands on the table.

"It was good I guess. I sort of broke down to which is weird because I can't even breakdown to most of my friends. I kind of said fuck it and told him everything. But he told me close to everything about his life too. Does it make since if I want him to be like a gay best friend? Because if I think of him like that I'll probably forget him kissing me or wanting to kiss him," she blurts out then covers her mouth. "I'm sorry," she mumbles into her hand.

"Why'd you breakdown?" Ian asks. I look at him then to Kaitlin then back. She looks at him and starts to shake.

"We're all friends and if a friend breaks down we are going to be here to help," Joe chimes in. I look at him and smile. I couldn't stop myself from hugging him sideways.

"That's really sweet," I smile and rest my head on his shoulder. He puts his arm around me and then kisses the top of my head. Kai looks at us then looks back at Ian.

"I tend to let everything build up and it crashes down hard to the point where I don't think I can handle it much longer. Ryan wants to help me stop that. It’s why he had us meet up," she nods her head then looks down at her lap.

"He told me that you really wanted to restart things and act like yesterday never happened. Kind of like have us meet and be normal," his words put an instant smile on Kai's face. I wish I knew what was going on in her head right now.

I zone out for a second thinking about Joe and recapping everything that has happened yesterday and today. I start to smile and Joe rubs my back slowly. I lift my head up and look at him. "This is nice. It’s like a double date now. There isn't a lot of pressure on us," he softly tells me.

He was right. Maybe he was nervous about being alone with me just as much as I was to be with him. Even if we were alone his personality would have made everything perfect. He has something about him that made you want to smile for some reason. He was fun, but he still held back. He came off as shy but he opens up without thinking twice. He drank, a lot, but he managed to keep himself respectable and quiet. Who knew that just having a friend live with me for a month would gain me a possible boyfriend. Maybe I shouldn't speak too soon. I am still not exactly sure what I want at the moment. I did know that spending time with him would change my view on people.