Autumn's Monologue.

I awoke the next morning with a stuffy nose—a side effect from falling asleep in tears. We had just told each other of our feelings I shouldn’t be this upset he wasn’t here when I returned. I shouldn’t—but I am.

I sat up, glanced around my mundane room—sure it had everything that screamed out my personality but just lying here, yesterday, in his arms, it, it felt complete. Have you ever felt like something was missing and then it just hits you all of a sudden as to what it was? That’s what I had with him—a slap in the face that I’m utterly, hopelessly, irrevocably in love with him.

I’m actually quite scared at my honest feelings—I’ve never been in love before. I’ve only seen it in movies, read about it in books, but I’ve never experienced myself. I’ve seen some of the most different forms, like Romeo and Juliet, Jack and Sally, Mulder and Scully, Noah and Allie, Danny and Sandy, Tristan and Isolde and even Ron and Hermione.

Despite everything each of them went through they’d have done it all again just to have one glimpse, one touch, one kiss from their beloved. Who am I kidding—I feel so pathetic feeling this strongly so soon—am I wrong to do so?

No. I realized I had these feelings for a long time now, how long—I couldn’t tell. I just knew somehow it was as if I’d always had felt them towards the beautiful creature known as my brother’s best friend. I’ve always loved him.

I still hadn’t heard any sign of life in the house—no smell of coffee or old breakfast, no shower running, no toilets flushing—nothing. I checked my phone on a whim; I had left it on silent by mistake. I had twelve missed calls from my brother alone.

I reached for my glasses to make out exactly what my phone was telling me—Ray had an allergic reaction at dinner, he was taken to the hospital by G and I met them there…sorry I wasn’t at your house when you got it. I missed you. xoxo-Frankie.

I smiled that he missed me and then worry etched across my face, Ray had an allergic reaction—that’s never happened before. I hoped he was alright; scanning through my phone I found out he was alright—food poisoning, not an allergic reaction.

Just as I was about to respond I heard the front door open and my brother’s voice call out my name. Not thinking if he were to be alone or not I rushed out of my room and downstairs—clothed in nothing by my boxers.

He wasn’t alone; I felt eyes on me as soon as I hit the landing. I felt myself blush and smile awkwardly at the parade of guests into our home. Ray who looked like he’d seen better days—I guess he didn’t want to go home; Gerard who had his arm wrapped around Ray for support and Frank who had a small blush on his own cheeks as his eyes met my own.