Sequel: Hold Me Down ›
Autumn's Monologue.
Somebody Find Me.
I woke up—I’m not sure how long—later to find myself free to move. I gently took each of my bandaged wrists into my hands, thoughts of what I had done flooding my mind. I really had tried to kill myself.
“Good to see you’re finally awake. You’d have succeeded you know, if it hadn’t been for the midnight room checks we do.”
I turned towards the familiar voice of Cathy as she was seated in my chair. She was in pajamas, not her usual work attire—she had come from home to see me?
“Don’t mind my attire; you’re not the first patient I’ve been called in for in the middle of the night. I’m sorry about your things; they’re in a box in my office, no harm done to them. You’ll slowly get them back so long as I can see an improvement in your behavior.”
I knew what she was going to tell me would make me hate this place even more than I did already.
“Your actions tonight have put you under constant surveillance. Meaning you’re not permitted anywhere alone; a male nurse will be put on a spare cot in the far corner of your room. He’ll follow you into the bathroom—“
“I’m not going to the bathroom with some guy right there! That’s not fair!”
She just brushed off my outburst as if I hadn’t done it.
“He’ll accompany you to meals and in the common room; you can complain all you want but you brought this on yourself.”
She didn’t pity me, not an ounce of pity for me could be found in her body. She never pitied me, not even when she first laid eyes on me when I first arrived.
“Mikey!”
I turned to the small voice that called my name, a grin gracing my lips as I felt a small body collide with my legs. I squatted down to his level, giving him a hug.
“Hello Tucker!”
Tucker was abused—horribly—by his mother and father. He’s been here almost three weeks; I was the only person he would talk to at first. He’s six and he’s being treated for withdraw of heroin and opium in his system. He’s got so many needle scars that littler his small arms.
“Who are these people? Are they the ones that sent you here?”
I nodded slowly at him; Tucker’s being sent to a foster home once he’s completely healthy again.
“Why would they come see you if they sent you away?”
A question I wanted the answers to myself. I glanced up and noticed the shocked expression on my mother’s face as she stared down at the little boy whose level I still remained on.
“I don’t know Tuck, want to walk around with us, we can show them the place?”
He let a grin erupt as I stood, taking my hand in the process of introducing himself.
“I’m Tucker Roberts. I’m six and Mikey’s my best friend here. Why are you holding hands?”
I noticed his eyes glancing towards the interlocked hands of Gee and Ray. I smirked over at them.
“This is my best friend.”
Tucker furrowed his brow before turning to me once again.
“Why’s that boy all by himself? You should have him come hold your hand too!”
My gaze darted towards Frank, his own meeting mine in the process. It’s the first time we’ve looked each other in the eye since the morning I came here. Tucker drug me over towards Frank and put his own hand out towards Frank’s, placing Frank’s hand in my own before moving to take my other hand.
It was still there—that spark I felt every time we touched—did he ever feel it?
“Can we show them your room now? They’re going to love it!”
I just nodded, letting him lead the way—I didn’t really feel like showing them around anyways.
“Some kid.”
I heard Frank’s voice mutter as a smile played at his lips. It had been far too long since I had heard his voice. My heart fluttered and I felt my breath hitch—get over yourself Mikey!
I glanced around my room, the sunlight shining brightly inside, my posters adorning my walls, comics scattered across my desk…my things were back! I quickly glanced towards the corner, the cot was gone—I was alone!
I heard a soft knock on the door.
“Finally, you can sleep you know. Cathy’s ready for you today Mikey, she’s in her office.”
I didn’t bother changing out of my pajamas, I reached for my glasses, putting them on and brushing my teeth before slipping on a pair of socks. I couldn’t walk around this place barefoot, the only place I could was my room.
=-=-=-=
“We’ve danced around something and for your own good we’re going to discuss it today. I’ve cleared my entire day so we’ve got all the time it takes.”
She took a deep breath—an apprehensive breath before continuing.
“We’re discussing Frank today.”
“Good to see you’re finally awake. You’d have succeeded you know, if it hadn’t been for the midnight room checks we do.”
I turned towards the familiar voice of Cathy as she was seated in my chair. She was in pajamas, not her usual work attire—she had come from home to see me?
“Don’t mind my attire; you’re not the first patient I’ve been called in for in the middle of the night. I’m sorry about your things; they’re in a box in my office, no harm done to them. You’ll slowly get them back so long as I can see an improvement in your behavior.”
I knew what she was going to tell me would make me hate this place even more than I did already.
“Your actions tonight have put you under constant surveillance. Meaning you’re not permitted anywhere alone; a male nurse will be put on a spare cot in the far corner of your room. He’ll follow you into the bathroom—“
“I’m not going to the bathroom with some guy right there! That’s not fair!”
She just brushed off my outburst as if I hadn’t done it.
“He’ll accompany you to meals and in the common room; you can complain all you want but you brought this on yourself.”
She didn’t pity me, not an ounce of pity for me could be found in her body. She never pitied me, not even when she first laid eyes on me when I first arrived.
“Mikey!”
I turned to the small voice that called my name, a grin gracing my lips as I felt a small body collide with my legs. I squatted down to his level, giving him a hug.
“Hello Tucker!”
Tucker was abused—horribly—by his mother and father. He’s been here almost three weeks; I was the only person he would talk to at first. He’s six and he’s being treated for withdraw of heroin and opium in his system. He’s got so many needle scars that littler his small arms.
“Who are these people? Are they the ones that sent you here?”
I nodded slowly at him; Tucker’s being sent to a foster home once he’s completely healthy again.
“Why would they come see you if they sent you away?”
A question I wanted the answers to myself. I glanced up and noticed the shocked expression on my mother’s face as she stared down at the little boy whose level I still remained on.
“I don’t know Tuck, want to walk around with us, we can show them the place?”
He let a grin erupt as I stood, taking my hand in the process of introducing himself.
“I’m Tucker Roberts. I’m six and Mikey’s my best friend here. Why are you holding hands?”
I noticed his eyes glancing towards the interlocked hands of Gee and Ray. I smirked over at them.
“This is my best friend.”
Tucker furrowed his brow before turning to me once again.
“Why’s that boy all by himself? You should have him come hold your hand too!”
My gaze darted towards Frank, his own meeting mine in the process. It’s the first time we’ve looked each other in the eye since the morning I came here. Tucker drug me over towards Frank and put his own hand out towards Frank’s, placing Frank’s hand in my own before moving to take my other hand.
It was still there—that spark I felt every time we touched—did he ever feel it?
“Can we show them your room now? They’re going to love it!”
I just nodded, letting him lead the way—I didn’t really feel like showing them around anyways.
“Some kid.”
I heard Frank’s voice mutter as a smile played at his lips. It had been far too long since I had heard his voice. My heart fluttered and I felt my breath hitch—get over yourself Mikey!
I glanced around my room, the sunlight shining brightly inside, my posters adorning my walls, comics scattered across my desk…my things were back! I quickly glanced towards the corner, the cot was gone—I was alone!
I heard a soft knock on the door.
“Finally, you can sleep you know. Cathy’s ready for you today Mikey, she’s in her office.”
I didn’t bother changing out of my pajamas, I reached for my glasses, putting them on and brushing my teeth before slipping on a pair of socks. I couldn’t walk around this place barefoot, the only place I could was my room.
=-=-=-=
“We’ve danced around something and for your own good we’re going to discuss it today. I’ve cleared my entire day so we’ve got all the time it takes.”
She took a deep breath—an apprehensive breath before continuing.
“We’re discussing Frank today.”