Sequel: Hold Me Down ›
Autumn's Monologue.
See Right Through Me.
I have made up my mind…I, I can’t…
I had just returned from Cathy’s office, telling her of my decision. I stood in the doorway of my bedroom at this place, staring at the small form that lay on my bed fast asleep. Little emotion was present on my face as I thought about what I had just done.
Our lives were going to change; he was going to get a loving family, one that took care of him—never harming him in any way. I made sure that was going to be the case with him—no abuse of any kind. Tucker would be happy—I hoped.
=-=-=-=
I stood glancing around the room that held me for so many months of my life—witnessing the rebirth of my new one. If that green box was in my room when I got home I was going to destroy it—everything in it. I had managed to fit everything back into my small duffle bag once again as I turned off the light, closing the door behind me.
Never again will I have to stare out of a barred window up into the night sky, pondering if Frankie’s thinking of me too. Never again will I have to awake chained to my bed, a prisoner because of my actions. Never again will I set foot into a place like this for my own benefit again—I’ve learnt my lesson.
=-=-=-=
“This is it Mikey, you’re a free man after today.”
A small smile graced her lips as we met for my last appointment. She stood from her chair, pulling me into a hug—the second one she’s ever given me.
“You’re something else Mikey Way, you really are. I knew there was something about you the moment I laid eyes on you when you first arrived and now look at you—you’re going to do well.”
I couldn’t help but blush and smile at her words.
“Thanks Cathy…for everything. You’ve put up with a lot from me…a lot of stubbornness too.”
She chuckled at that.
“Would it be alright if I kept in touch, you know…just…”
“Of course you can, you know the number and you have my address. Your taxi should be here soon, are you all packed up?”
I grinned at her and nodded.
“Best of luck Mikey, you deserve it.”
She smiled before hugging me once more and opening her door for me. I waved as I walked out of her room backwards, finally turning and heading towards the lounge where my things were.
Upon reaching the door I noticed something was missing and I raced towards my room—my old room. There it was—I had wondered where it had gotten to. I slowly walked up to where it lay and picked it up.
“What are you doing in here? It’s almost time to go.”
I carried it out of my old room and back to the lounge, a smile on my face.
“Mr. Way, your taxi’s here!”
I used a free hand to grab the duffle bag and made my way to the exit. This was the first time I’d be setting foot outside of this building and not being forced to return to its confines. I loaded my bag in the trunk and climbed in the backseat, careful not to disturb what I held in my one arm.
=-=-=-=
The hour long taxi ride was spent of full chatter as excitement and nerves floated around the confines of the backseat of the cab. We had already past the familiar streets leading to my family’s home; I could see the street sign from here.
Butterflies were going haywire in my stomach as I realized I had yet to inform anyone back home of my return. I took the money Cathy gave me to pay for the ride home as I climbed out once more, gathering my things and standing on the sidewalk of my mother’s home.
Holding onto—once again—what I had to find in my old room I walked up the path and knocked on the front door. I heard the taxi drive off, honking a goodbye as the door in front of me opened. I watched the handle turn and listened to the hinges creak open revealing the side of my mother’s head.
“…nonsense Gerard, if its girl scouts selling cookies I’m going to….oh my gosh!”
=-=-=-=
”I, this is one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make in my entire life so far. I can’t begin to explain the emotions that have run through me today, but I have made up my mind…I, I can’t…”
Her eyes widened in sorrow as she stared up at me.
“I, I, I want him to go to a loving family, one that won’t harm him in any way, shape or form. One that will love him unconditionally because he deserves nothing but the best…I, I can’t leave him alone either…I’m so torn between this choice Cathy, you have no idea.”
She just sat there, letting me gather my last bits of thought, piecing them together so I could tell her what I had intended on doing so. I took a deep breath before looking at her once again.
“I’ll do it.”
I had just returned from Cathy’s office, telling her of my decision. I stood in the doorway of my bedroom at this place, staring at the small form that lay on my bed fast asleep. Little emotion was present on my face as I thought about what I had just done.
Our lives were going to change; he was going to get a loving family, one that took care of him—never harming him in any way. I made sure that was going to be the case with him—no abuse of any kind. Tucker would be happy—I hoped.
=-=-=-=
I stood glancing around the room that held me for so many months of my life—witnessing the rebirth of my new one. If that green box was in my room when I got home I was going to destroy it—everything in it. I had managed to fit everything back into my small duffle bag once again as I turned off the light, closing the door behind me.
Never again will I have to stare out of a barred window up into the night sky, pondering if Frankie’s thinking of me too. Never again will I have to awake chained to my bed, a prisoner because of my actions. Never again will I set foot into a place like this for my own benefit again—I’ve learnt my lesson.
=-=-=-=
“This is it Mikey, you’re a free man after today.”
A small smile graced her lips as we met for my last appointment. She stood from her chair, pulling me into a hug—the second one she’s ever given me.
“You’re something else Mikey Way, you really are. I knew there was something about you the moment I laid eyes on you when you first arrived and now look at you—you’re going to do well.”
I couldn’t help but blush and smile at her words.
“Thanks Cathy…for everything. You’ve put up with a lot from me…a lot of stubbornness too.”
She chuckled at that.
“Would it be alright if I kept in touch, you know…just…”
“Of course you can, you know the number and you have my address. Your taxi should be here soon, are you all packed up?”
I grinned at her and nodded.
“Best of luck Mikey, you deserve it.”
She smiled before hugging me once more and opening her door for me. I waved as I walked out of her room backwards, finally turning and heading towards the lounge where my things were.
Upon reaching the door I noticed something was missing and I raced towards my room—my old room. There it was—I had wondered where it had gotten to. I slowly walked up to where it lay and picked it up.
“What are you doing in here? It’s almost time to go.”
I carried it out of my old room and back to the lounge, a smile on my face.
“Mr. Way, your taxi’s here!”
I used a free hand to grab the duffle bag and made my way to the exit. This was the first time I’d be setting foot outside of this building and not being forced to return to its confines. I loaded my bag in the trunk and climbed in the backseat, careful not to disturb what I held in my one arm.
=-=-=-=
The hour long taxi ride was spent of full chatter as excitement and nerves floated around the confines of the backseat of the cab. We had already past the familiar streets leading to my family’s home; I could see the street sign from here.
Butterflies were going haywire in my stomach as I realized I had yet to inform anyone back home of my return. I took the money Cathy gave me to pay for the ride home as I climbed out once more, gathering my things and standing on the sidewalk of my mother’s home.
Holding onto—once again—what I had to find in my old room I walked up the path and knocked on the front door. I heard the taxi drive off, honking a goodbye as the door in front of me opened. I watched the handle turn and listened to the hinges creak open revealing the side of my mother’s head.
“…nonsense Gerard, if its girl scouts selling cookies I’m going to….oh my gosh!”
=-=-=-=
”I, this is one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make in my entire life so far. I can’t begin to explain the emotions that have run through me today, but I have made up my mind…I, I can’t…”
Her eyes widened in sorrow as she stared up at me.
“I, I, I want him to go to a loving family, one that won’t harm him in any way, shape or form. One that will love him unconditionally because he deserves nothing but the best…I, I can’t leave him alone either…I’m so torn between this choice Cathy, you have no idea.”
She just sat there, letting me gather my last bits of thought, piecing them together so I could tell her what I had intended on doing so. I took a deep breath before looking at her once again.
“I’ll do it.”