Choke on Your Misery

Zack

June 24th came more quickly than I had expected, and I suddenly found myself packing equipment and bags into the 12-passenger van. My dad, Alex, and I had gone to pick up the trailer and equipment earlier today. We had brought it back, parking it in front of my house and Alex’s house. Our yards were completely full of people. All four of us were outside with our families, bags scattered throughout the yards. Matt, Evan, and Grieco had showed up a little while ago with their stuff. I had somehow gotten stuck loading up our equipment into the back of the trailer along with Matt, my dad, and Rian’s stepfather. I guess that was one disadvantage of my working out. I had been working out every day for nearly two months now, and I was happy with the result. I actually had some muscle and wasn’t the same skinny stick I was a few months ago.

Of course, the bad part was that I was stuck straight to equipment loading. The sun was high up in the sky, beating down on us. Matt and I finally got the last of the equipment in and locked up the trailer. I ran into my house to change out of my sweaty t-shirt quickly, pulling on a tank top instead. I went back outside and walked over to Alex, Jack, and Rian, who were sitting down on Alex’s porch steps. I sat down beside Alex and felt my tight muscles relax a little. Some of that equipment was fucking heavy.

“You two look like dorks with those bandanas on,” Jack teased us, grinning. I looked up at Alex with a chuckle. He and I had found a ton of cheap bandanas at the store the other day and had been wearing them on our heads lately. It looked neat and kept the sweat off of my forehead, so I didn’t really care what Jack thought.

“You wore one yesterday!” Alex shot back, pushing Jack in the arm lightly.

Jack smirked, “I wanted to see what a dork looked like.”

“Don’t you see one in the mirror every day?” Rian scoffed, earning an eye roll from Jack.

Alex reached over to hold my hand, smiling up at me before looking around at the others. “I can’t believe we’re about to go on a tour. An actual tour!” he said excitedly, grinning.

“I know, it’s crazy,” I said, shaking my head.

“Definitely. I never thought that I’d be traveling across the country at age seventeen,” Jack mused, with us nodding in agreement.

“I never thought that I’d be traveling across the country with Jack and Alex at age seventeen. Hell, I never even thought I’d be friends with them,” Rian said with a laugh, looking at the two of them. “Though I only became friends with you guys through Zack.”

Alex shrugged, “The band never would have even been created, had Zack stayed in Towson.”

“I wouldn’t be alive if I had stayed in Towson,” I murmured, and Alex squeezed my hand softly.

“You’re here now; that’s all that matters,” Rian said with a comforting smile.

Alex nodded, pecking me on the lips, “You’ve got the three of us now.”

“Yeah, we’ve got your back!” Jack smiled at me and I laughed.

“I know. You guys are awesome,” I said with a slight smile.

Matt walked over to us, tossing a bag into Alex’s lap. “C’mon guys, we need to get moving. Finish packing your stuff into the van.”

“What time do we have to leave?” I asked, standing up and walking with the others toward the van.

“Around three. It’s two-thirty right now,” Matt replied.

Realizing that we had to leave in just a little while, the seven of us started rushing around to get our stuff packed up. We only had one or two bags each, but it added up to a lot between all of us. Our parents stayed out of the way, not wanting to be trampled by seven overly-excited teenagers. Once we were finally done packing everything into the van we all spent a few minutes saying goodbye to our parents. We were going to be gone for two months, except if we came back to Maryland in our week-long break between the two parts of the tour. I think my parents were the most worried about letting me go on tour. I suppose it was for good reason, though – the other parents didn’t have sons who were recovering from depression and cutting.

My mom hugged me tightly before putting her hands on my shoulders, looking me in the eyes, “You’re sure you’ll be okay on tour?”

“I’m sure, mom.”

“I hope so. Remember to take your medicine often, so you won’t have any panic attacks. You did take it today, right?” she asked, letting go of me.

I nodded, “I took it this morning.”

“Good. Make sure you take your medicines if you have a panic attack, and call me if you do. And-”

“Clara, dear, he understands,” my dad chuckled, putting a hand on my shoulder. He looked me in the eye, “You have fun on tour, okay? Just be smart and don’t do anything you’ll regret. You’ve got your friends and your... boyfriend. You’ll have a good time.”

I blushed at the mention of ‘boyfriend.’ My dad was starting to accept my relationship with Alex, though he was still awkward whenever it was mentioned. It’s an improvement though. “Thanks, dad. I’ll miss you guys. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

“We know you will be.” My dad squeezed my shoulder before letting go, motioning over toward the van. “I think you guys are supposed to be heading out right now.”

I glanced behind me and saw that the others were beginning to get into the car. “Well, I’ll see you guys in a month or two,” I said, hugging my mom and smiling at my dad before running over to the van. I got into the very back seat, where Alex had decided to lie down on the seat. I stood above him, bent over slightly from the height of the van. “Do you mind if I sit here?” I teased.

“You can sit on me if you’d like,” Alex smirked. I chuckled, nudging his shoulder to make him sit up. Once I had shut the van door and gotten seated, Matt looked back at everyone from the driver’s seat.

“You guys ready to go?” he asked.

“Hell yeah!” we chorused, waving to our parents as Matt pulled away from the curb and began to drive. He had been chosen to drive the van today because he knew the way to New York City better than any of us did, and we didn’t want to get lost on the first day of tour.

“We’re going to New Yo-ork, we’re going to New Yo-ork,” Jack sang cheerfully, repeating it over and over again. It began to get annoying after the first few minutes of driving.

“Jack, could you be any more annoying?” Matt finally exclaimed, glancing back at Jack.

Jack just smirked, “Is mister tour manager getting bitchy?”

“Shut the fuck up, Barakat.”

“Hey, Matt’s even got the attitude of a tour manager!” Alex said happily, laughing. “Now we’re an official tour band; we’ve even got the bitchy tour manager to prove it!”

Matt just rolled his eyes as the rest of us broke into laughter. Oh, boy. This is going to be an interesting two months of touring.