Choke on Your Misery

Alex

On Saturday, I was in my room, bored and absentmindedly playing my guitar. My dog, Sebastian, was sleeping on my bed next to me. Jack had caught a cold and was too tired to hang out, so I couldn't hang out with him. It was too cold outside to go do anything there, and all my other friends had plans. Around two in the afternoon, my mom knocked on the open door to get my attention.

"No plans?" she asked.

I shook my head, setting my guitar down, "Nope. Just a hot date with this bed."

My mom smiled, "Why don't you give Zack a call? I'm sure he would appreciate some company." I raised an eyebrow, and she sighed. "His mom said he's been holed up in his room for the past few days. She thought maybe seeing a friend would cheer him up," she explained. My mom and Zack's mom had become friends more quickly than Zack and I had, and they spent a lot of time together. My mom probably liked the idea of having another mom to talk to besides Jack's mom; she hadn't had a new friend in a few years.

"I'll call him, mom. Maybe he'll want to come over and play video games or something," I said. We hadn't been to each others houses at all. When I drove him home, we usually sat out in my car talking for a little bit before going into our separate houses.

"Okay," my mom said with a nod, leaving my doorway.

I called Zack, but he didn't answer. After two more tries, I stood up and looked out my window. Zack's blinds were up slightly, so I could see that his light was on. That meant he was in there. I sighed and pulled on my shoes and a hoodie. If I went over there, I knew his mom would make him talk to me. I left the house, telling my mom I'd be home later. I trudged through the snow in our yards and walked up the porch to ring the doorbell of the Merrick household. Zack's mom came to the door and she smiled when she saw me.

"Hi, Mrs. Merrick," I greeted.

"Hello, Alex! Come on in," she said, ushering me inside. I slipped my wet shoes off, not wanting to leave a trail of snow through the house.

"I came over to see Zack; my mom said he's been hiding out for a few days. I thought I could cheer him up. I tried calling, but he didn't answer," I told her.

"Oh, that's so sweet of you. He's been having a little trouble at school the past few days," his mom explained. "Go ahead and go up to his room, if you'd like. He won't come out for me. Do you remember where it is?"

"I remember, thanks," I said, going up the stairs. I stopped at Zack's door, which was shut. I could hear dull music coming from the room. I knocked on the door.

"Go away, mom!" I heard him yell.

"Actually, it's Alex," I called. I heard the music stop as Zack shuffled around, finally opening the door. He was pulling a hoodie on.

"Oh, hey. Why are you here?" Zack asked, remaining in the doorway.

"I've got no plans and I'm pretty bored. Plus my mom mentioned you've been hiding out up here for a few days, so..." I said.

Zack scowled, "So you're here because of our mothers?"

"No, no. I wanted to come hang out and find out what's wrong. Honestly," I added.

Zack hesitated a moment, then stepped back to let me in his room. It looked a lot nicer now that there were posters up and everything was unpacked. He shut the door behind me, going over to sit on his bed. He was wearing pajama pants and a hoodie, and his hair was sticking up like he hadn't brushed it yet. I pulled up his desk chair and sat down in it.

"What were you listening to?" I asked.

"I was playing music, actually. Bass," Zack said, pointing at a pink bass guitar across the room.

"That's so cool! I play guitar; I have an electric one in my basement and an acoustic in my room," I said.

"Really? I play acoustic guitar and bass," he said.

"Yeah, Jack plays guitar too. He and I jam in my basement sometimes," I chuckled.

"Sounds cool. I've been playing bass since about eighth grade, but I've been playing guitar since sixth or seventh," he said.

"Same here. The guitar part, anyway. I love your bass, by the way. It looks sweet," I said.

"Thanks."

We were quiet for a minute, and I remembered what I was going to ask him. "You haven't been getting a hard time from the other kids at school again, have you?" I asked, frowning. I knew the kids had been giving him shit the first week of school, but I was surprised that it had continued.

"Yeah, I have," he said, leaning on the wall his bed was against.

"Sorry, man. Some of the kids at Dulaney don't know when to leave people alone. Just ignore them," I told him with a shrug.

Zack closed his eyes, shaking his head. "It's not that easy, Alex."

"Why? If you just-" I began, but Zack cut me off. That was a first.

"Really, Alex. I can't just ignore them. The teasing and bullying and insults just get to me, and it bothers me to no end. It makes me feel like shit." Zack's voice dropped to an even quieter tone than usual.” It’s been like this for a long time."

"Zack, is that why you moved from Towson?" I asked softly. Zack looked over at me; he looked like he was debating whether to tell me the truth.

"Do you really want to know why I moved?" he asked me.

"Of course."

"Fine." Zack took a deep breath and began to speak.