Who We Are

I laid in bed for a long time. My eyes trained on the darkness that had settled around me. The blinds were closed but the light from the street lamps were pouring in through the window and giving the room a gloomy glow.

Gwendolyn was asleep in her own bed. Her lips were parted and her breathing came slowly. The girls were all asleep in their own beds and that gave me comfort knowing that they were safe and sound. I threw the covers off of my tired limps and got to my feet, pulling down my basketball shorts that had ridden up.

My feet padded along on the floor as I made my way towards my father's room. I peaked my head through the crack in the door and the jamb and noticed that my father was asleep. Gianna was laying in bed with him, her head on his arm. I pulled the door closed behind me as I left and started towards the stairs. My hand found the railing as I walked down into the living room. I tried to quiet my breathing as my eyes saw the darkened figures of three sleeping boys sprawled out across my floor.

The clock above the TV told me that it was three AM. I sighed and shook my head as I walked into the kitchen. I grimaced when the cupboard squeaked as it opened. I pulled out a cup and set it on the counter as quietly as I could. My eyes went to the tap on the sink and I groaned softly knowing that I'd have to open the fridge if I wanted cold water.

"You won't wake them up."

I turned around fast as my heart skipped a beat. Max stood in front of me now, his hair tousled and his shirt missing from his body. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly as I looked him over.

"Uhm, I'm sorry," he said as he let his hands drop to his side. "We do some pretty stupid shit when we're drunk."

"Watch your language," I commanded. I pulled open the fridge and grabbed out a container filled with half-frozen water. I poured myself a glass as Max apologized.

"But uh," he mumbled, "I just wanted to say thanks, since I know Ronnie isn't going to do it."

I shrugged, "Don't worry about it. You should be thanking my Dad. He's the one who let them in my house. If it was my decision..." I trailed off, thinking about how mad I was at Ronnie earlier. "Riley would've been in," I told him, "But the two of you could go."

Max looked to the floor awkwardly and ran his fingers through his entangled hair. "Wow Kat," he said, "When did you become so cold?"

I just looked up to him. His skin was pale and his eyes were searching my own. "I'm not the only one who changed," I said as I glanced over the tattoos that were permanently drawn on his body.

Max shook his head softly and looked me over as well. "At least I'm not pretending to be something I'm not."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Go back to sleep." I tried to walk past him but felt his calloused fingers grab onto my wrist.

"Let go of me!" I demanded as I attempted to yank my wrist out of his fingers.

"No, not until-"

"I suggest you let go of my daughter."

Max's fingers slipped away from my skin slowly, looking up at my father who was standing in front of me in pajama pants and shirt that represented his squad number. "I'm getting ready for work but I can stay home and monitor you and your little friends."

I rolled my eyes. "No you can't," I said as I turned to him, "You have to go to work."

My Dad held his ground as I tried to push him away and back up the stairs so that he could shower and be off to work.

"Katerina," he warned, "Go back to your room."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't hurt him. He was just trying to talk to me."

I heard my father growl to Max as I walked away from them. "Eyes on me.” I couldn't help but laugh at the fact that Max had been checking me out. I knew it was just probably to make my father even more angry with him. Max had a habit of enjoying being in trouble. He'd smile smugly and jump around in people's faces when he knew it would just tick them off.

He liked the thrill of being yelled at and yelling what ever he wanted. Max was a wild child. Ronnie didn't quite enjoy trouble, but it followed him around like a storm cloud. Ronnie was a brooding type of person. He and Max went together perfectly. A mix of quiet and pissed off and loud and aggravating. Ronnie found all Max's antics entertaining and egged him on with the flick of his wrist.

I went to my room and laid in bed until I fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning I sighed, feeling like there was a cloud surrounding me and weighing me down so that the sleep couldn't fade from my muscles. I got out of bed begrudgingly and slipped into a pair of jeans and a tank-top that seemed blue in the dark but purple in the sunlight. I yanked Gwendolyn's covers off of her before I walked towards the bathroom so that I could brush my hair and do my make up. I groaned at the fact that someone was in the bathroom.

I smacked the palm of my hand against the wooden door and called out, "Lissy! Open up!" Knowing that she was usually the one to lock herself in the bathroom this early.

"I'm in my room!" Lissy called back a minute later.

Then the door opened and Ronnie was standing on the other side of the door. Shirtless and dressed only in boxers. I closed my eyes automatically.

"What? Little Katerina become nervous about a naked man?" Ronnie taunted with a gruff chuckle.

I looked up to him and glared. "You're funny. Put your clothes on. There are little girls in this house that don't need to see all that."

Ronnie smirked and walked away from me. I just rolled my eyes and went into the bathroom so that I could run a brush through my hair. My hair was surprisingly easy to cope with. The blonde curls looked nice instead of frizzy and the brush hardly had to tug on any snarls at all.

I had to admit: I did feel uncomfortable with the Radke's and Max in my house. Well, mostly Ronnie. Max at least tried to make people feel comfortable. Well, people who were trying to help him out. Riley was a sweet kid, trying to make himself fit in a much as possible so that he didn't cause any trouble. But Ronnie, on the other-hand, tried to cause a ruckus and make people want to tear their skin off so they could get away from his quiet taunting and smug looks.

I got myself ready, applying a thin amount of makeup. Then I ushered the rest of my sisters out of bed and washed, dressed, and brushed their hair. Then I pushed them towards the stairs and told them to make each other breakfast. I went back into my room for a minute and sat on the edge of my bed.

I was overwhelmed. I knew that much. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. When I made it back downstairs Max was sitting on the kitchen counter, his feet dangling over the edge, as he stared at Gianna as she rambled on and on. Riley nodded and spoke enthusiastically as Lisette poured milk into Gigi's bowl of Fruit-Loops.

Gwen was breaking off pieces of Poptart and eating them slowly. Octavia was scarfing down her own cereal at the far end of the table and watching Max with a suspicious eye. My gaze moved to the older Radke brother who was standing next to Max, leaning against the counter with his arms folded over his chest. I rolled my eyes and then moved them to the clock on the stove.

I clapped my hands, getting everyone's attention easily. "It's time to go!"

Gianna slid out of her chair and carried her half-empty bowl to the sink. I watched as Riley grabbed it from her and set it in the sink since she wasn't tall enough. Then Max slid off of the counter and motioned for the girls, including Gwendolyn, to go on ahead of him politely. Ronnie's jaw was set but when Gianna stood in front of him, his expression softened.

"Why're you mad?" she asked, looking up to him with huge blue eyes.

Ronnie's hands dropped to his sides automatically. He seemed to think over his answer before he knelt down in front of the child. "Because my little brother ate all my favorite Pop-tarts," he told her, letting a ghost of a smile land on his lips.

I walked over and rested my hand on Gianna's shoulder before leading her away. My eyes met Ronnie's as I passed and I held his gaze firmly. Then I said, "We're gonna be late if we don't hurry."

Ronnie nodded but smiled when Max cracked a joke about skipping school. I groaned and rolled my eyes at the two, knowing that they were going to be obnoxious the whole walk to school. I was satisfied with them though, content with the fact that they had managed to act civil in front of my little sisters, keeping their happy innocence intact.