Who We Are

The Change

"Kat, what are you doing here?" Ronnie questioned as Omar let me come into the house. Ronnie and the rest of his friends sat around the living room, their eyes trained on me, confused and intrigued.

"My sister is telling my dad," I said, my eyes searching as my shoulders shrugged, "I just thought we'd hang out with you guys for awhile before he grounds me for the rest of high school." I folded my arms under my chest and waited for someone to reply. I glanced towards Dean who had locked his hands behind his back nervously.

"Well," Max replied after a minute, being the first to speak and break the awkward silence that had rested in the air, "Take a seat." He moved out of his spot on the couch and sat on the arm instead. He motioned for me to take his seat and Robert did the same for Dean, instead taking the floor.

"Thanks," I murmured my eyes meeting Ronnie's for half a second. I walked across the room and sat down on the threadbare couch next to Ronnie who was still looking at me with surprise in his dark eyes.

"Isn't your dad going to come over here and shoot us all?" Monte questioned, leaning back against the chair that he was sitting in. It seemed that was the question that was on all of their minds. They all knew my father was a cop and they'd probably seen him around town, his gun in its holster.

I shook my head. "No, he'll just be mad at me. I don't even know if he'll come over here to get me."

"Kat," Riley said softly from his spot by the window, "You're kind of wrong. Your sister is coming across the yard."

The guys' eyes bulged and they rushed to the window like a stampede of started buffalo. Ronnie stood behind them, staring at our connecting yards, and nodded. "Gwen's on her way over," he agreed, looking back to me and Dean, "She looks scared."

I climbed up from the couch and squeezed past the guys. I stood in front of Max and Monte and glanced out the window. They stood shoulder to shoulder behind me. Gwendolyn was crossing the yard, glancing over her own shoulder nervously like someone was going to chase her down.

"Do you think she really told your dad?"

I glanced back to Dean and frowned. "I don't know," I said, confused, "I don't think so because I don't think he'd send Gwen to get me."

"Then what's she doing?" Ronnie questioned loudly, pushing his friends out of the way so that he could stand behind me and look out over my shoulder with his hand on my waist.

I glanced up to his face as if just looking at someone else would give me the answers to their questions. "Probably coming to get me," I told him softly, "But I don't know why."

"Want me to tell her to get the hell out of here?" Max asked, smiling at me to show that he meant her no harm.

I chuckled softly and shook my head at the boy. "I'm going to see what she wants," I told the group of disheveled teenage boys. The boys backed away so I could slide past them towards the door. When I had barely taken three steps, Ronnie reached out and snagged my wrist.

"Will you be okay?" he asked, his brown eyes looking down into my own blue eyes.

I nodded slowly. "It's just Gwen," I stated, "I should be fine. Plus, I've got Dean."

Ronnie glanced at his friends, who quickly looked away. I chuckled at their reaction and pulled my wrist from Ronnie's fingers. I grabbed his hand instead. He looked completely unconvinced.

"She's my sister," I told him, "We're family." The look on Ronnie's face instantly made me regret rationalizing harmlessness with that simple answer. I glanced at the guys, seeing Riley's expression, before I murmured, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Ronnie said in a normal voice, "But you're right. She's your sister. You'll be fine."

I nodded and took a step closer to him so that I could wrap my arms around his neck. "I'll see you guys tomorrow," I said to the rest of them. I spared one last glance at Ronnie before I turned and pulled his front door open, making sure that Dean was following behind me. My sister stood at the bottom of the porch steps, her eyes trained on her feet. "What are you doing here?" I asked, causing her to look up to us with surprise on her face.

"Come home," she said bravely, hopefully, looking to her right, "I won't tell Dad."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Why not?"

I could see Gwen swallow. "I don't know," she said softly, "But, you care about him, don't you?" She looked up at me with wise eyes. "And Mom cared about all of them. You've always been the most like Mom."

"You're the spitting image of Mom, Gwendolyn," I replied automatically, "Everything you do reminds Dad of her," I replied, equally as quiet, recalling the way Dad looks at Gwen when she does something that's so like Mom that it's uncanny.

Gwen climbed two of the stairs and touched my arm. Our matching eyes met and she half-smiled. "You have her heart, Kat, and her strength. The rest of us never had time to get that from her. If you want to be with Ronnie Radke," Gwen shook her head, "I won't stop you. Mom wouldn't have stopped you."

Dean nudged me with his elbow. "Me, neither, Kit-Kat."

I smiled. "Thanks Gwen," I said softly, "What made you change your mind in such a short period of time?"

Gwen's smile faltered.

I stared at her, waiting to know. "What is it?" I questioned, "What happened?"

Gwen licked her bottom lip. "Gianna," she said, causing my stomach to rise to my throat.

"Is she okay?" I asked quickly, rushing down the stairs and about to head across the grass when Gwen replied.

"She's fine!" she said quickly, "But, she's asking about about Mom again."

"Is Dad..?"

"Not telling her anything."

I frowned. It was hardest of all for my father to talk about our mother. Blessed with five daughters who all look like her, he doesn't say her name or remember her life at all. I could never imagine losing the person you shared your life with. No matter how much it hurt to lose my mom, I knew it hurt more for my father, even though he struggled to never show it. We loved our mom because she was our mom, he loved our mom because she had been the one person in the world that made him feel good about himself. My parents never really understood each other.

My mother was a free spirit, born to be anything but tied down to a sedentary lifestyle. My father was raised with rules and boundaries. He fell in love with my mother because she shattered all the preconceived notions that he was brought up on. When they married, neither set of parents approved. So each side faded away, sending their children out into the world to start their own family, ignoring the high risk.

"We'll have to talk to her tonight," I told Gwen, glancing towards our house where I knew our youngest sister was in tears because of the vow of silence our dad had taken the day our mother died.

"We better get over there." Gwen tucked her hair back nervously. "Dad's going to be looking for us when he can't make Gigi stop crying."

"Yeah, he probably already is."

Ronnie was staring at me through the front window in his living room. When I started to cross the yards, I glanced back at him and smiled reassuringly although I wasn't completely reassured that I could take my sister's word or that anything was going to be okay once my father did figure out that I was spending my time with the neighbor boy.

The three of us slipped through the front door quietly. My father was in the living room staring at the TV while Gianna cried next to him, her little fingers wrapped around his sleeve.

"Daddy, please," she cried. Tears were streaming down her blush-kissed cheeks. The tears left pale streaks on her skin and caused me to choke at the sight.

"Gianna," I called softly, heading over to the couch. My didn't look towards me, instead, he closed his eyes and sucked in a ragged breath as she started to cry more. Lisette and Octavia couldn't calm her down and their comforting words weren't doing well at consoling the distraught child in front of us. "Come on, baby," I murmured. I reached down and scooped her into my arms. My gaze landed on my dad as I hurried past him, Gianna coughing from all the crying.

I handed Gianna to Dean who still stood by the front door, watching the scene in front of him with a shielded sadness. I didn't meet his eyes before I turned around and walked back over to my dad who wouldn't look at me.

"I'm taking Gianna for a walk," I told him, "We'll be home in a little bit. Don't worry about us. She just needs to get out of the ho-" I stopped as another shrill cry rang through the house. It was the kind of sound that could only mean someone's heart was breaking.

Dad nodded once and turned his gaze to meet mine. Tears were welling in his eyes and his lips were pressed tightly together as if he was holding in all the cries. I looked away from him towards the girls.

"Go to your room," I told them. I turned away as they headed towards the stairs. "You too, Gwendolyn."

"Can't I come with you?" she asked quickly.

I shook my head and pulled Gianna into my own arms. She was heavy because she was basically dead weight, overcome by a streak of sadness that only a child would show so entirely. "Stay with Octavia and Lissy."

We didn't wait for her to reply before I led Dean out of the front door again. I never spent much time outside other than the walks home. The girls weren't really into playing in the front yard and we were usually confined to the safety of our house. When I was on the side of the road I set Gianna on her feet and kneeled down in front of her.

"Listen to me," I demanded, grabbing her shoulders.

The small blonde wiped her nose on the back of her hand and let more tears drop down her cheeks. Her stormy, teary, blue gaze met my own clear one.

I nodded. "Mommy loved you," I said firmly, "You were everything she wanted in a little girl. You were the last thing she saw before she died and she already loved you, Gianna."

"No!" Gianna cried, shoving my hands off of her, "I want to meet Mommy!"

I nodded and wrapped my arms around her waist. "You did meet Mommy," I told her, "You just don't remember. But Mommy does. Mommy remembers everything, Gigi. She's looking down on you right now and wishing you could remember that special moment you and Mommy share."

"Why don't I remember?" she asked, slurring all her words together as she started to cry again.

"Because you were little, Honey," I cooed, "Because you were a tiny baby."

"But I want to remember, Mommy!"

I sighed and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her blonde head against my shoulder as she shed tears onto my shirt. Her arms wrapped around my waist as my eyes moved to see Ronnie Radke step out onto his porch.

I frowned and closed my eyes as he made his way down and over to us. "Gianna," I murmured, holding her tightly against me, "Mommy loves you."

Ronnie was standing just a couple feet from us now. He smiled at me and pointed to Gianna. Then he walked closer and crouching down behind her. "Hey, Gianna." He smiled.

She turned around a look at him slowly. Her face scrunched up in confusion. "Hi," she said softly, not any less confused but searching for the answers in her gaze.

"Remember me?" Ronnie asked, reaching out to touch her little waist with the tips of his fingers.

Gianna nodded slowly.

"Kind of, right?"

She nodded again.

"I'm Ronnie," he said with another easy smile. He motioned over his shoulder. "Do you want to come hang out with me and my friends?"

"You have friends?" she asked, putting on a brave face automatically.

Ronnie chuckled and nodded his head. "Yeah, what do you say? Want to come meet my friends? We might even have a special beanbag chair for you to sit on."

Gianna shook her curls out of her face and scrunched up her little face. "Why's it special?"

"Well," Ronnie stated, moving closer, "Because it's magic. When my mom left a long time ago I used to sit in it and talk to her," he said, "And she could hear everything I was saying to her."

Gianna's eyes were wide. "Did she talk back?"

Ronnie frowned and shook his head. "You see," he added, "There's the problem. Mommy's don't have magic beanbag chairs to sit in. So you can't hear with they're saying but I promise, she'll hear you. You can tell her anything you want."

Gianna looked at me for the answer. I just nodded my head to back up what Ronnie was saying. As Gianna looked to Dean, and then back to our house were our dad sat, almost catatonic, I looked to the high school junior next to me with a searching gaze.

I'd never seen him talk to a child before. And I'd never seen him comfort a distraught little girl who was crying over the mother she never got to meet. The dark haired trouble maker next to me had me completely astounded.

"Come on, Gianna," Ronnie called lightly. He stood up and reached his hand out towards my sister. "I think you're going to like my friends. They're really nice."

Gianna grabbed Ronnie's hand right away and the two of them walked away from Dean and I, leaning me kneeling on the side of the road. I turned my head so that I could watched Ronnie help my sister up the narrow porch stairs.

"What was that?" Dean asked softly as the raven haired boy disappeared into the house with the blonde, curly-headed child in mourning. The door was left wide open as a silent invitation for Dean and I.

I stood up slowly and looked at the boy I called my best friend. "I really don't know," I said just a quietly, "But, I..."

Dean nodded. "I liked it, too."

I looked back at the house next to mine. "Are you coming?" I questioned, taking a small step in that direction.

Dean shook his head. "My mom's on her way," he told me, "I think I'll walk down to the corner of the street and wait for her. You go ahead."

"You sure?" My eyes didn't leave the space between each side of the door frame.

"Yeah. He has your sister. Go keep an eye on them."

"I'll see you at school," I said, finally looking at him, "I'll tell you what happens."

"You better." He smiled and slugged my shoulder playfully.

I grinned at him and wrapped my arms around his narrow shoulders. "See you tomorrow, Dean."

He waved and turned to head down the street. I starting walking straight ahead, through the grass and up the porch steps quickly, my eyes lingering on the kitchen window of my house. I shut the front door behind me and smiled at the guys who were sitting on the couch.

Ronnie was absent from the room and I looked towards the stairs.

"They're in his room."

I looked to Max who had spoken.

He smiled at me and nodded towards the stairs. "Ronnie took her upstairs to sit in the beanbag chair. You can go up."

"Third door on the right," Riley added helpfully.

I climbed the stairs slowly. Even when I was little, I had never been on the second floor of the Radke household. I walked down the narrow hallway slowly, my eyes trained on the barren walls. Our hallway was almost exactly the same layout as this one, although the Radke's had an extra door on the right. Ronnie's room.

The third door on the right was left open. Not completely but about halfway. I crept up to stand in the door way and looked at the duo sitting side by side. Ronnie sat on the floor in front of the lone window. A large black beanbag chair was next to him, and on it, perched my sister with silent tears rolling down her cheeks as she whispered all the words she wanted to tell our mother.

And as Ronnie reached out and grabbed her little hand in his own, I knew that the school, that our community, and even my father had been wrong about the boy in front of me.

Ronnie was more than people thought of him. He wasn't just another kid with a rough family life and an even worse reputation. He was something else entirely and now I knew for sure that I wanted the real Ronnie in my life.
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Hey guys. (: Sorry I've been gone for so long. I'm now officially living in Springfield, Missouri. Just got my internet hooked up this morning so when I got done swimming and ate dinner I finished this up for you and now I'm posting it!

Leave me some comments. I feel like it's been quite awhile since I've heard from you all. (: