Who We Are

Monday morning I wrangled my sisters out the door. We were running later than usual and I knew Gwen and I were going to be late for the first time this year.

I locked the door after Gianna caught her bus and hurried to the edge of our yard where Gwendolyn was waiting for me, arms crossed over her chest and her foot tapping against the curb.

"Lets go," she demanded as I got closer, "I'm going to lose all my points for the day if I don't get there before they lock the locker-room."

"I'm right here," I replied, walking along side her on the side of the road. We walked faster than usual down the long, curving street. Riley and Ronnie were already gone, having Ronnie having given in to Riley when we couldn't make it out of the door on time. At the end of our road, Gwen raced across the intersecting road and hurried me along as I crossed the street, actually waiting for the cars to pass instead of quickly darting across.

We signed in on a clipboard in the office and thanked the office ladies when they didn't write us a detention for being late. Gwen and I split off in different directions as she raced to the gym. I stopped at my locker and grabbed my book before heading down the main hallway.

"Kat, you're late," Mrs. Goodwin noted as I walked into her class room.

I looked up and nodded slowly, stealing a glance at the class as they all trained their eyes on me. "I have a pass," I told her, holding out the pink slip as I walked to the whiteboard. "But I'm sorry, it won't happen again." I turned and headed towards the staring faces of my classmates. Before I could make it to my seat, I plummeted towards the ground. My textbook sprawled open on the floor as I put my hands down to keep my head from hitting the linoleum. I winced when I landed on my wrist wrong.

Ronnie was at my side within seconds, cursing loudly at Vanna. "Why the fuck did you do that!?" he asked as he helped me up and grabbed my textbook from the floor, "She's never done a goddamn thing to you, Vanna."

Vanna shook her head, her eyes darting to the teacher and then back to us. "It was an accident, I swear," she lied, pressing her lips together.

"Bullshit," Ronnie countered, "You better watch yourself."

Vanna grinned and tipped her head to the side. "Or what?" she asked condescendingly, "You'll beat me up like you beat up all those boys that mess with your little brother?" The tone of her voice was sickly sweet. I could imagine that was the voice she used when she was with him and when she wanted something from him.

"That's enough," Mrs. Goodwin interjected, walking around her large desk to stand at the edge of our rows. "Ronnie, Katerina, go sit down."

Ronnie stared at her and then reminded her that Vanna had tripped me.

"I'll deal with it later, Mr. Radke, right now you're disrupting my class," she stated, pointing to his desk in the back and to mine right next to us.

Ronnie muttered some words under his breath, knowing they would get him in serious trouble if he said them much louder. He grabbed my arm as I tried to sit down and gently turned me to face him.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, trying to block out the gazes of our class mates.

I looked around us at the amount of people watching and just nodded, dropping my hand to my side and ignoring the ache in it.

"You sure?" he questioned again, not really believing me since I'd gone completely silent.

"Yes," I stated, drawing out the vowel.

Ronnie eyed me but let go of my other arm so I could sit down. I smiled at him appreciatively and sat in my seat, ignoring him as he stood there for an extra second, assessing me and shooting glares at Vanna and Monica, who sat on either side of me.

After class Ronnie walked by my side all the way to class. I didn't talk to him again until lunch came but he was in the same hallway as me between almost every class. From between the people I could see him watching me, making sure that I was okay.

He met me at my locker after fourth hour, leaning against the metal row as he waited for me to show up. I flashed a smile as I walked up and started turning the dial on the lock.

"How was class?" he questioned, grabbing my textbook from me so I could pull open my locker. He frowned when I winced trying to pull up the little lever so the metal door would pop open.

"It was okay," I replied, shoving my things into the narrow space, "What about yours?"

He shrugged and stood up as I closed the locker and turned to him. "Boring," he voiced, "But nothing unusual."

I rolled my eyes at his disinterest in school and stepped farther into the emptying hallway. Ronnie was right next to me as I walked to the lunch room. My eyes scanned the room for my friends. I hadn't spent time with Emily since the basketball game on Friday and Dean for much longer. I couldn't help but feel that I was on the brink of turning into one of those girls who lets their relationship dominate their lives.

Before he could lead me over to his table, I turned to Ronnie and grabbed his arm, my fingers sliding down into his. "I'm going to sit with Dean and Emily today," I told him, looking up at his face.

He glanced over my shoulder at their table and rolled his eyes. "Why do you waste your time on her?" he questioned, sounding honestly interested in what I saw in Emily.

"She's my friend," I defended, "I've known her longer than anyone else."

Ronnie raised his eyebrows. "You have?" he asked, a cocky smile on his lips that reminded me that I was wrong.

"Well, I've been continuous friends with her the longest," I corrected myself. "I'll see you later, okay? I miss Dean, too."

Ronnie dropped my hand and nodded. His fingers pressed against my hip as he pulled me to him and leaned down to kiss me. I pushed him away from me right away, my eyes wide as my cheeks heated.

"Bye, Ronnie," I stated, turning and walking away from him, trying to ignore the glances we were getting from the students in the room.

Dean and Emily saw me coming. Dean grinned and jumped up from his chair to wrap his arms around me while Emily sat quietly, pretending I wasn't there.

"Where have you been, Silverstein?" Dean questioned, "I thought you died or something!"

"Very funny," I commented sarcastically, although I was smiling as I took my usual seat, "I've been around," I answered seriously.

"With Ronnie Radke," Dean added, grinning at me as I tried to discretely cover my cheeks by pressing my face into my shoulder.

"How have you guys been?" I asked, glancing at Emily, hoping to will her out of her silent mood.

Dean bumped her shoulder, causing her to scowl. She met my gaze for the first time since I'd come over and narrowed her eyes. "I'm fine," she stated, "Haven't missed my best friend at all. I've been too busy spending time with my family."

Dean filled me in on what she was hinting at, "Nate's back in town for awhile," he said, glancing at Emily as she glared at him, "He's been wanting to see you but Emily won't let him."

"Why not?" I asked them both, although it was directed more to Emily.

She scoffed in reply and crossed her arms over her chest. "You haven't even bothered to talk to him since Ronnie Radke became interested in you!" she explained loudly, causing me to wince. "I told you that he likes you and you didn't even try to talk to him about it. Now he's trying to see you and I don't want him to get hurt, Kat. You're not worth it."

I flinched at her harsh words, immediately feeling bad about blowing Nate off for so long. I hadn't even thought about him since Emily threw her bizarre theory at me. Nate and I had been friends even before Emily and I had, I could never imagine being anymore than that with him.

"I didn't mean to blow him off," I said honestly, "I just got distracted."

"By Ronnie Radke," Emily stated, rolling her eyes. "Nate feels really bad about this whole thing and he's really mad at me for telling you that he likes you. He wasn't planning on telling you after he found out who you're spending your time with."

"Emily, that's not fair," I defended, leaning my elbows on the table, "He didn't even tell me, you did. And the only reason you did was to make me feel bad for being with Ronnie."

"You should feel bad," she muttered, "You still chose one of the Radkes over Nathaniel."

"Just let me talk to him," I demanded, looking her in the eyes, "I just want to explain so that he doesn't think I'm ignoring him. You're probably telling him all these bad things about me and that's not fair."

Emily rolled her eyes. "We're having dinner at my house tonight," she told me, finally giving in, "Nate will definitely be there."

"I have to come to dinner?" I asked warily, not liking the idea of sitting with her parents. They had a habit of making me feel out of place and I wasn't sure what Emily had told them recently. She was usually okay at keeping my information from them, but I didn't know what she'd spill when she was at me.

Emily shrugged. "That's the only solution I have."

I groaned loudly and dropped my head onto my arms. Dean sighed and patted my back reassuringly.

"Are you hungry?" he questioned, getting up, "I can get your food for you if you feel like pitying yourself for a little while longer."

"88369," I recited my ID number so that he could type it in and charge the food to my account. "Whatever you get is fine."

Dean patted my back as he passed me, heading towards the far lunch line. I peaked up as Emily stood up and followed him. I sighed softly and pushed myself up, too.

When Ronnie left yesterday I promised that I would stop over tonight once my dad left so that he could show me something he was working on for the band. I walked across the lunch room, weaving in and out of tables full of people, and walked up behind Ronnie, taking the empty seat next to him that was reserved for me.

"I thought you were having lunch with your friends?" he asked me, interrupting the conversation he and the guys were having.

I half-smiled at them as they sat around the table, their attention turned to us as they waited to continue what they were talking about. "I am," I told Ronnie, turning in my chair to face him, "But I can't come over after school."

He frowned. "Why not?"

I wasn't sure that I wanted to tell him that I was going to talk to Nate. I knew that I couldn't lie to him, so if he asked why, I'd have to tell him what Emily had told me. "Emily's brother is in town," I said, nervous about telling him, "And he's kind of upset with me so I'm going to make him feel better."

"About what?" Ronnie asked, already catching onto what I was trying to say.

"About us," I responded, drawing out the words carefully.

He looked at his friends and then stood up, not really angry but not happy either. He grabbed my hand and I let him pull me out of the cafeteria and into the empty hallway. "Why do you have to make this guy feel better about us?" he questioned, turning to face me abruptly.

"Because he likes me," I declared, leaning against the wall of lockers as Ronnie stood barely a foot in front of me.

Ronnie was stony and silent. I watched his chest rise and fall as he breathed, taking in the words. Finally he sighed and shook his head. "This is not cool," he stated, shaking his head, "Some guy I don't know likes you?"

I nodded, although it was meant to be a rhetorical question.

"If I ask for how long, will you tell me?"

I nodded again.

"Okay, how long has this guy liked you?" he questioned, his dark, lined eyes meeting mine. His hair was messy like usual and was grown out so that it reached past the collar of his t-shirt. I reached up and gently tugged on a stray strand.

"I'm not exactly sure," I replied, "But I found out after you... uh..."

"Kissed you?" he finished, rolling his eyes at my aversion to say the words. "He told you after you told him about me, didn't he?"

I shook my head quickly. "Emily told me after you took me to see your band play," I corrected, "She was really mad that I would 'do that to him'," I explained, using finger quotes around her words.

"That's bullshit," he muttered, shaking his head as he stepped closer and put his hands on my hips. "He had his chance and he didn't do anything. Why should you feel bad that I asked you out?"

His chest was pressed against mine and he dipped his chin down so that his lips were by my cheek as he spoke. I lifted my shoulders and dropped them, glancing to his eyes.

"You don't owe him an explanation," he told me, pulling me against him, "You should just come over tonight and hear what I wrote."

I groaned softly, shaking my head simultaneously. "I can't," I stated, "I'm sorry. I've just got to make things better with Nate. He's been one of my best friends for a long time. That's all he'll ever be," I added, hoping to reassure him.

"I trust you," he replied, "You don't even have to think I don't."

I couldn't help but smile when he said that. I was a little worried that Ronnie would think that I'd give into Nate, if what Emily said was true. I could never see the two of us being together the way Ronnie and I were. Nate and Emily's parents liked me well enough, but they would never approve, especially since Nathaniel was in college and I was merely a sophomore in high school.

"My dad is working the night shift again on Thursday," I said, thinking back to the schedule he'd rambled off this morning, "I can come over then and hear your song."

It was obvious that he wasn't happy about having to wait three extra days to show me what he wanted too, yet he nodded anyways and pulled back. "See you later?"

"In Gym," I confirmed, wondering if I'd be able to see both him and Emily next hour. Splitting my time between them had proven difficult. Unlike Ronnie and his friends, I couldn't hang out with mine and Ronnie at the same time.

"Sounds good." He glanced down the hallway before he kissed me goodbye. Unlike usual, I cupped his jaw and lengthened the kiss for a couple more seconds.

He pulled back and looked at me with raised eyebrows and confused eyes.

"I really am sorry that I'm ditching you," I said, rubbing my thumb over his bottom lip. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"Go back to your friends," he encouraged, smiling as he nodded towards the cafeteria doors. "They're probably wondering where you went."

"See you later," I murmured before I turned and headed through the double doors, leaving him there as he watched me walk off. I crossed the lunch room alone and dropped back into my chair, smiling at my friends.

"Where'd you go?" Dean asked, looking over my shoulder, probably looking to Ronnie's table to see if he was there.

I pulled my tray closer to me. "Just had to cancel mine and Ronnie's plans tonight," I explained, "Thanks for this, by the way." I opened up the plastic container of Chicken Alfredo.

Dean chuckled. "No problem."

Emily set down her chicken wrap and asked, "Was he mad that you cancelled on him?"

"Nope," I replied, meeting her gaze. "He was actually really good about it. I think he wants me to get back on better terms with Nate." Emily's face fell, making me wonder if she wanted there to be a problem.

"He knows about Nate?" Dean asked with a mouth full of food, "You told him he likes you?"

"Yeah." I shrugged, deciding not to dwell on Emily's expressions. "Ronnie's fine with it. He said he trusts me."

Dean grinned and nodded towards Ronnie's table. I looked behind me and smiled as Ronnie took his seat again, facing away from me. I turned back around and started in on my lunch, content with the way things were, even if it seemed there were more and more people lining up to tear us down.