Who We Are

Thursday

At school on Thursday Ronnie was actually excited, despite having to be at school for eight hours. His excitement didn't have anything to do with school, though, instead it was for tonight. He'd been waiting to show me what he was working on for a couple weeks now, and finally I was going to hear him.

After school we walked home side by side, Riley trying to spark a conversation with my sister as she continuously ignored him. We parted a few houses down from ours and I promised that I would be over later, Ronnie reminded me to wait until he came to get me.

"What's he got up his sleeve?" Gwen asked softly as we crossed the yard to our front door.

I shrugged my shoulders, honestly not knowing exactly why he wanted me to be the first one to hear his new song. I unlocked the door and pushed it open, smiling at my father as he sat on the couch between my youngest sisters.

"Hey, Dad," I greeted, slipping my shoes off my feet, "How was your day?"

He pulled Gianna closer and shrugged. "It was alright. What about yours?"

"Same," I answered, heading into the kitchen to make dinner early since I knew he'd be leaving early for the night shift.

"Oh, Kat, don't worry about that," he called, appearing in the kitchen just moments later, "You can cook later on, I've got the night off now that we hired a few more people."

"What?" I asked, turning around to face him with wide eyes, "You took off?"

He nodded, his gaze suspicious. "One of the new guys needed a few extra hours on his pay check so I swapped a night with him..." he explained, pushing the fridge door closed.

"That's nice," I stated, trying to sound happy for him and the other guy, "But since you don't need me for awhile, I'm going to do some homework." I grabbed my backpack from the kitchen chair and ran through the living room and up the stairs, ignoring Gianna as she reminded me not to run up them.

I threw my bedroom door open and slammed it shut behind me, surprising Gwen. She looked at me with wide, but disinterested eyes. "What's your problem?" she questioned, tossing her magazine to the end of her bed.

"Dad took the night off," I stated, falling onto my stomach on my bed, "I'm going to have to cancel on him again."

Gwen reached for her magazine, deciding not to comment. I rolled over on my side and stared at her, wondering if she'd ever be good at sisterly chats.

"Gwen," I called, "A little advice here, please."

She looked up to me over the top of Insider magazine. "About what?" she questioned.

"Are you serious?" I asked loudly, sitting up, "You saw how excited he was about tonight and now I'm going to have to cancel on him for the second time because Dad decided that some other guy needed money more than us."

"You can hear the thing some other time," she stated, her eyes moving back to the words on the pages, "It's not that big of a deal, Kat."

I groaned and tossed my body back onto my bed. I wanted to be able to tell my dad what I was doing tonight and just do it, but that wasn't ever going to be possible. I could never really be with Ronnie because we'd always have to hide. I'd have to let him down again and again just to keep other people happy and in the dark.

Ronnie was going to come get me tonight, but I knew he'd turn back when he'd realize that my dad's car was sitting in the driveway. Disappointment would color his features and there was nothing I could do about it.

My dad had made it very clear that I wasn't allowed near him. If we didn't live right next door to each other I was sure my dad wouldn't even let me in the same neighborhood. I hated the feeling of being trapped, locked away from Ronnie like we were captives.

I made dinner around five-thirty, glancing out of the round kitchen window through out the process. Food was on the table by six and we all gathered around, filling our plates. This was the first time in a while that my dad had been home for dinner and my little sisters were openly excited.

"How was your girls' days?" Dad questioned as he filled Gianna's plate for her.

Lisette started talking about how she was picking her classes out for eighth grade already. Her teacher had been telling her about all the 'awesome' classes she could take that would help her once she got to high school.

Gianna rambled about something she did in class today, telling our dad excitedly about how she'd ended up painting one of the art tables instead of her piece of paper. Dad glanced at the house phone that sat on the counter next to the fridge, obviously wondering if he was going to get a call about the price of a colored table.

Octavia was silent, but that was usual. She told us that her day was just okay, and then went back to eating her dinner, listening to everyone else.

I waited until Gwen had thoroughly ignored the questioned before I concocted a story in my head, hoping that my dad might actually listen to me.

"I need to go out for a little while tonight," I said, choosing my words carefully as my dad looked across the table at me, "I have something I need to do."

He dropped his fork to his plate and turned all his attention towards me. "What do you have to do?" he asked, his expression expectant.

"I made plans with Emily," I said, "She's hanging out with a boy named Sal and doesn't want to go alone, so she asked me to come with her. I'd feel terrible if I ditched her, Dad. She's really nervous. I said no originally because I didn't want to leave the girls home alone for so long."

"But now I'm here," he finished, reaching for his fork again.

I nodded. "Yeah, she said she could meet me at the game if I decide that I can come. We're just going to go to the game and hang out a little while afterwards. "

"It's dark out," he stated, looking out of the small, round kitchen window, "I don't think you can walk all the way to the school alone tonight."

"If I call her she'll know I'm coming, if I don't show I promise she'll call you and let you know," I joked, smiling as I tried to reassure him. "Please, Dad?"

"How would you get home?" he questioned, obviously not thrilled about the idea of letting me walk anywhere.

I faltered for a moment, knowing I couldn't get anyone to drive me home if I was really going to Ronnie's, but also knowing that if I said I would walk, Dad would veto letting me go in the first place. "Well..." I trailed off, putting a bright smile on my lips, "Since you're being so nice tonight, do you think I could just sleep at Emily's? I know it's a school night and I have homework, but I promise I'll do it tonight. You know Mr. and Mrs. Henderson, Emily never gets away with not doing it."

"Kat, I don't want you two to stay up all night, you need to be in bed at a decent time," he spoke like he was regularly here to regulate when I went to bed.

I nodded quickly, ignoring Gwen's shocked expression, "We will, I promise, Dad." I kicked Gwen's leg roughly, watching an expression of pain replace her surprise.

"I suppose when you finish your dinner you can go," Dad gave in, smiling just a little as I grinned.

"Thanks, Dad," I replied, reaching for my fork so I could eat quickly, "I'll see you after school tomorrow, I guess."

"Saturday morning," he corrected, not sounding very thrilled about the words, "I'm working two shifts tomorrow."

I finished my dinner and climbed the stairs to jam some pajamas into my back pack. I didn't need any clothes for tomorrow since I could just walk across the yard and get ready in the morning.

I called Emily before Gwen and I did the dishes, letting her know that I'd be there. She was more than a little excited that I'd decided to come and said she'd be here in under a half an hour with Sal and Nate so that I wouldn't have to walk.

Gwen was silent as we washed the dishes. I watched her in my peripheral vision. "What's wrong?" I finally asked, caving into her silent treatment.

She turned at stared at me like I was an idiot. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," I stated, handing her a wet dish, "What's your problem?"

"You're sneaking out to go to Ronnie's!" she whispered fiercely, slamming the bowl onto the counter. "You're using Emily as an excuse to go spend the night with your boyfriend, Kat! Am I supposed to be okay with that?"

Knowing about my lies weren't easy for Gwen. She'd never lied to our dad a day in her life and now she was keeping her mouth closed for me, so instead of keeping her inside of it, I created another lie to keep her on the outside. "I'm really sleeping at Emily's," I stated, glancing out of our kitchen window, "I wouldn't even think about staying at his house unless I knew his dad and Brad weren't going to be there."

Gwendolyn stared at me, trying to figure out if I was telling the truth. "So why are you hanging out with Emily?" she questioned, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Because she's nervous and Nate's going to be there," I replied, grabbing the bowl she'd slammed down and handing it back to her to put in the cupboard, "I can't make him the third wheel with Emily and Sal. That's just cruel."

"It's a date?" she questioned, reaching for another spotless dish, "You're double-dating with Nate?"

"No," I denied, turning off the faucet, "We're just friends who are hanging out tonight. That'd be really weird." I laughed it off like I hadn't had a conversation about Nate and I being together before.

Gwen seemed lighter now that she didn't know the truth. After we finished the dishes I went upstairs and shoved clothes for tomorrow into my bag, knowing that if I wanted to keep Gwen on the outside too, then I couldn't come home in my pajamas.

Nate honked from the driveway a few minutes later and my dad opened the door, peering through the darkness to validate that it really was Emily and her brother waiting for me. I bounded down the stairs and out of the door, calling goodbye to my family as I hurried towards Nate's car.

"You came!" Emily cheered as I shoved my things into the backseat, "What changed your mind?"

I greeted Sal, who sat next to me in his full uniform, and buckled my seatbelt before I answered. "My dad's home," I explained, glancing at Ronnie's house as Nate pulled out of the driveway.

It took only minutes to get to the school. Nate parked in the student parking lot and walked beside me up to the building. Sal walked on the other side of me and Emily next to him, gushing excitedly about being able to see him play tonight, not caring that we had to come very early just so she could spend a little time with him before hand.

The bleachers were basically empty when we walked in, spare a few of the player's family members and friends who had given them rides there like we had. Nate led me over to a spot on the home-side.

"You came," he repeated his sister, "I thought you might've found someway to see Radke anyways. Sounded like tonight was supposed to be a pretty big deal."

I shrugged, watching the players on the court warm up. "We can reschedule, I guess. He'll understand why I'm not showing up when he sees my dad's car."

"You could've found some way to go over there," Nate stated, trying to meet my gaze, "Why'd you come here instead?"

"I don't know," I said, glancing at him and then away, "I just don't want to get in trouble. It's too risky having my dad home and trying to see him."

"Oh," Nate murmured, watching his sister as she stood next to the player's bench, "Well, you sure didn't come to hang out with Emily."

I turned my head to look at Nate. "Are you fishing for compliments?" I questioned, smirking as I called him out on it, "Because if I have to, I'll tell you exactly who I'm here to hang out with."

"Who?" he asked, biting his bottom lip between his braces-straightened teeth.

I grinned and glanced back at the rows of boys stretching. "Sal, obviously," I replied, laughing as Nate scowled.

"You're such a..." he trailed off, shaking his head at me.

"Such a what?" I asked, chuckling at his lack of insults.

"Nothing," he finished lamely, turning his attention back to the court as the other school's team came busting through the gym doors, taking in their new playing grounds for the night. There were a whole bunch of them in black and orange uniforms. They walked around the edge of the court, summing up their competition. Emily cheered as Salvadore caught the ball passed from number 18 and threw it from the foul line, the ball falling easily through the hoop.

"Your sister," I commented, looking back to Nate, "Is something else."

He chuckled. "Yeah, she's got a wire twisted or something."

"That's one way to put it," I muttered.

"You don't seem to like her very much anymore," he commented, looking from her back to me, "I mean, you don't spend any time with her and you don't seem very interested in what she's interested in."

"All she's interested in is Salvadore Smith and the car your dad is going to buy her when she gets her license," I replied, shrugging my shoulders, "I can't relate to that, not really. I've never been interested in going after a guy and there's no way that my dad will ever be able to buy me a car, so what do we really have in common anymore?"

"I remember when you two used to dress up like princesses and run around the house trying to put spells on me," he answered, "You've known each other forever, you can't just out-grow your past."

"She used to be the queen," I corrected, remembering the times we spent together at Emily's house, playing, "She was the queen and I was her ugly step-daughter. She used to tell me that the only way to make me more beautiful was to dress in clothes that I could never afford."

Nate frowned. "It was only game, Kat, she didn't really think that."

"I thought so too," I stated, "Until she started pulling clothes out of her closet and telling me that I should wear them from now on. She was a vicious eight year old."

"She used to ask our parents why she couldn't have blonde hair like yours," he told me, bumping his shoulder against mine, "She used to complain that all the pretty little girls had blonde hair and blue eyes. She used to get really mad when we were young because my hair was lighter than hers."

I glanced at Nate's darkened hair. "You certainly out grew that," I chuckled, "You guys have the same features and everything."

"Are you saying that I look like a girl?" he asked, pretending to be offended.

"No," I murmured, watching as the teams disappeared into the their locker rooms. The fans were filing into the gym, each paying the three dollars it took to get in before they came to find a decent spot on their team's side. Emily hurried back over and sat next to me, gushing excitedly about the team's newest home uniforms.

"You've got to help me cheer, Kat," she demanded, grabbing my arm, not noticing when I tried to pull my wrist away from her. "We've got to be the loudest people here."

"Em, can you let go?" I asked, trying not to sound rude.

"Sorry," she murmured quickly and let go of my wrist. She was watching the locker room doors eagerly, waiting for the game to start.

Emily hooted and hollered throughout the entire thing, cheering for Sal the most and demanding that his teammates throw him the ball more often, even though he wasn't open half of the time.

Nate and I watched her since she was more entertaining than the actual game in front of us. At half time Emily dragged us down the bleachers to talk to Sal.

"Good job so far," I complimented him, managing to get a word in before Emily.

He wiped the sweat off of his body with a towel. "Thanks Kat," he replied, smiling, "We might actually take this one tonight."

I glanced at the score board. "Looks like it could go that way," I agreed slyly, even though it was obvious that they had the game in the bag as long as they kept up the same game they were playing for the first half.

"Are you still playing?" Emily questioned, leaning against the table that held their water, "It'd be a real bummer if you weren't."

Sal nodded, looking over his shoulder to check on his coach. "I should still be on the roster," he said, glancing at all our faces, "I haven't done anything to make Anderson take me off."

Nate wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we stood there. I couldn't help but notice the sideways glance that received from Salvadore when I leaned into the nineteen year old. I spoke up before the awkwardness could spread. "So, where are you guys going after the game?"

Both Nate and Sal looked at me funny. "You're not coming?" Nate questioned, pulling me closer to his side, "Emily said you were coming."

"I can drive you home after," Sal added, "If you've got a curfew or something just tell your dad that you're being looked after."

"I don't really feel like going out," I explained, glancing between the two boys, "You two can take Emily out though. I'm sure she still wants to go, don't you, Em?" I questioned, looking to the dark-haired girl.

"Of course I do," she said mostly to Sal, "Isn't that whole reason I'm here?"

Sal smiled and nodded before turning his attention back to me. "Actually, I was hoping you would come too," he stated, his brown eyes meeting mine, "Emily said you would come if she did."

I looked to Emily, instantly I understood what he was saying. He'd asked Emily to come because he wanted me to, not the other way around. He wanted to see me, not her. Emily must've caught on too because she looked between us with wide eyes and then ran off, ignoring me as I shouted after her.

"Emily, come back!" I yelled, turning and hurrying after her, "Emily talk to me!" She pushed through a set of double doors on the same wall as the bleachers and disappeared into the school. I ran after her, shouting for her to wait up.

"What do you want, Katerina?!" she yelled, stopping abruptly and turning to face me about halfway down the hallway.

"I'm sorry!" I yelled, walking up to her, "I didn't know that's why he wanted me to come. I didn't know!"

She brushed her tears from her eyes and stared at me. The expression on her face stopped me from getting any closer. "Everyone likes you so much better than they like me!" she yelled, roughly pushing her hair out of her face. "You hate everybody in the whole world yet they all love you! Even my own brother likes you more than he likes me!"

"That's not true," I countered, stepping closer carefully, "Nate loves you, Emily. Me and him are just friends."

She sniveled and laughed sarcastically. "He loves you, Kat. Whenever he comes home all he can talk about is wanting to hang out with you. I've learned to be okay with it because he's my brother and I know he'll always care about me, but I really liked Salvadore and he was just using me to get to you, like everyone else!"

"He didn't mean to," I replied, trying to contain the gut-wrenching feeling tearing me down from the inside, "He didn't know, Emily, okay? He's just a stupid boy. I don't even like him like that!"

She covered her face with her hands as she cried, feeling broken down and alone. I was her best friend, the only person who actually gave her the time of day, and now she felt like the two guys in her life liked me better. I didn't know what I could say to make things alright again. I didn't know if the words even existed.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, wishing I would've just decided to stay home tonight, "I didn't mean for any of this to happen, Em."

"You never do," she growled, "You never have to do anything yet everyone loves you. Well, you know something, Katerina," she stated, looking at me with something dark in her eyes, "I hate you," she said, "I really do. I don't know why I've waisted so much time on you over the years. You're greedy, and mean, and everything comes to you so easily; the grades, the boys, the family!"

"What are you talking about?" I asked slowly, stunned and hurt by her words, "You're delusional, Emily. I work so hard for my grades. While your out at every school sponsored event and party in the city, I'm at home doing homework, cooking dinner for my sisters, and trying to find some time to sleep... I don't know how you get off telling me that I have everything so easy, especially compared to you," I snarled, growing angrier by the second.

"You're little miss goody-good!" Emily exclaimed, throwing her arms into the air, "You're boring and your plain but for some reason Ronnie, Salvadore, and my brother seem to like that about you. I can't understand why."

"You don't have to insult me," I stated, crossing my arms over my chest, "It's obvious that you're so jealous that you can't even function. You waste all your time on these insignificant little high school details that you're not going to know what to do when daddy refuses to pay for your mistakes anymore."

"You're jealous of me because you're so poor!" she fired, pointing a finger at me accusingly, "You have no money and nothing nice so you take it out on me, Kat, but I've never done anything but help you!"

"You've never helped me," I answered venomously, stepping closer to her in the narrow hallway. "You've never done anything but tear me down to make yourself feel better. And if you haven't noticed, Emily, money can't buy you everything - not even Sal."

Emily rushed forward. Before I could stop it, her fist collided with my eye. I pushed her away from me and watched her stumble back, ignoring the pain in my eye as she tried to come right back at me again. She grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked hard before Nathaniel came through the double doors.

"What's going on?!" he shouted as he tried to pull his sister away from me. She managed to take a few strands of my hair with her as he restrained her.

I looked up at them with my jaw clenched. "You keep her away from me," I demanded to Nate, nodding towards Emily, "If she comes near me again I'm going to call the cops."

"Daddy to the rescue, huh, Kat?" Emily spat, trying to break free of her older brother's restraint.

"I thought that was your motto," I retorted, glaring at the siblings. "Both of you, just stay away from me."

I didn't look back as Nate called for me. Emily screamed after me too but Nate silenced her quickly, telling her that he was going to tell their parents if she didn't stop. The hallway went quiet and then Nate was running after me.

"Kat, stop!" he yelled, running to catch up to me as I walked away, "Wait up, what happened?"

He grabbed my arm and forced me around to face him. His eyes widened as he took in my appearance. "Did she punch you?" he asked, sounding astonished that Emily could do such a thing.

"Is it noticeable already?" I asked almost sarcastically.

He looked me over slowly, taking in every inch of my roughed up appearance. "What happened?"

"She's jealous," I stated, crossing my arms over my chest, "Jealous because Sal likes me, and because Ronnie likes, and because you like me and nobody likes her."

"So she hit you?"

"After she reminded me of how poor and ugly I am, yeah."

Nate looked back to the spot in the hall where Emily was, but she was gone, having disappeared into the school angry and alone. Nate's eyes travelled back to me and he gently reached up to touch my eye. "There's a bruise already forming," he stated, running his fingers gently over the sensitive spot.

I stepped away from him. "Go find Emily, Nate," I ordered, pushing his hand away, "Just go away."

He was stunned. "What?" he asked, "You're pushing me away too?"

"You're her brother!" I roared, angry and confused, unable to understand why he couldn't. "You're supposed to be making sure she's okay, not me, Nathaniel! You're supposed to be on her side, not mine!"

"Stop yelling," he demanded, walking closer to me, "She'll always be my sister but you're saying we can't even be friends anymore."

"Because you don't want to be friends anymore!" I bellowed, pushing his chest so he'd back away. "You and Salvadore are ruining everything so I can't be near either of you anymore."

"Stop it," Nate demanded, grabbing my arm, "Just stop it. You and Em are just in a fight. You'll get over it."

"No, I won't," I breathed, shaking my head, "I'm going to remember this. A black eye is pretty hard to forget."

"Kat, just take it easy," he suggested, backing me up to the wall so I couldn't run off on him, "Just think about how long we've known each other. You can't just push me away and leave me standing here alone."

"Yes, I can."

"No... you can't," he replied, closing his eyes as he realized that I was serious. He lightly wrapped his arms around me, barely touching me as he got closer.

"Don't," I growled, knowing exactly what he was going to do, "Don't you dare kiss me-"

His lips were on mine before I could finish my warning. He held me against him, his hands clasped together against my back as he willed me to kiss him too.

"Get off of me!" I screamed, my words muffled as I struggled to get him away from me.

He stepped back and looked down at me.

I glared at him, mustering up all the anger I had in my bones as I shoved him roughly and ran from the dimly-lit hallway. I grabbed my backpack from the bleachers but didn't stop running. I ran all the way down my darkened street and to Ronnie's front door, trying to be quiet because I could see the lights on in my house as they cut through the darkness like street lamps.

I knocked on Ronnie's door, not caring if his dad answered. Merely seconds later Ronnie's oldest brother opened the door, just staring at me.

"I need to see Ronnie," I explained angrily, knocking him out of my way as I burst into the house, taking the stairs two at a time until I reached the top. At the end of the hall, I pushed Ronnie's door open.

"Hey," he smiled, setting his guitar on its stand, "You made it."

I climbed onto his bed and wrapped my arms around his torso, pressing my face into his neck before he could get a good look at me.

"What's wrong?" he asked, concern lacing his voice, "Kat, come on, tell me what's wrong."

I let him push me back and I closed my eyes, wincing when he pressed his fingers against my bruise.

"What the hell happened?" he asked loudly, getting up from the bed, "Who did this to you?"

I opened my eyes, blinking a couple times. "Emily," I said softly, running my fingers through my hair, "But I don't really want to talk about it tonight, Ronnie."

"Oh, we're talking about it," he denied, throwing his bedroom door open and leaving the room.

I sighed loudly and laid back on his bed. His sheets were messed up as usual but I slipped under them anyways, laying my head on his pillow, tenderly feeling for the spot that Emily had yanked hair from.

"Why'd she do this?" Ronnie asked the second he stepped back into the room, a First Aid ice pack in his hand that must've come from one of Riley's many shiners. He wrapped it in a paper towel and handed it to me. "Keep that on."

I pressed the ice pack against my eye and answered, "I don't want to talk about it tonight."

"Isn't your dad going to want to talk about it when you go home?"

I lifted the ice pack off and looked at him as he leaned against the frame of his window. "Can't I just stay here tonight?" I questioned, taking in his lazy appearance. "My dad thinks I'm sleeping over at Emily's."

Ronnie looked at his door like he could see through it. "I don't know if that's such a good idea," he said, clenching his hands by his side, "I don't know if my dad's going to come home early."

"I can hide in the closet," I offered quickly, "Like you did at my house. Your dad won't even know I'm here."

"Brad knows," Ronnie stated, "He's like my dad's little minion, he won't keep anything from him."

"Let me talk to him," I demanded, pushing myself up from the bed, "I'll ask him." I opened Ronnie's door before he could stop me. Brad's room was diagonal across the hall so I went that way quickly before Ronnie could drag me back into his room. I knocked on the door right before Ronnie got his arms around me.

"What do you want?" Brad called out from the other side of the door.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you?" I asked, ignoring the expression on Ronnie's face as I reached for his half-brother's door handle.

Ronnie's eyes widened when the door was pulled open and his brother stood on the other side, staring at the two of us like we were the least important people on the planet.
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