Forever's Not Supposed to End

Nathan's point of view

*Three days later*

"That's him, that's the guy," said Matthew shortly, pointing at the second man along in the line up.

He had finally agreed to go to the police station to formally identify the man who had assaulted him.

"Number two. Are you sure?" asked the cop dealing with us.

Matthew nodded and blinked hard, unable to tear his eyes away from the man. We could see him, but he couldn't see us, we were hidden behind a one-way mirror.

"Stop looking at that piece of shit Matthew, he's just dragging you down," I said, trying to pull him away.

"I want to stare him in the eyes... and tell him 'nice try buddy, but I'm still alive'," said Matthew slowly. His entire body was shaking with silent rage. Never in our twenty-nine years had I seen my twin this angry.

I hadn't expected anger today. I'd expected emotion, tears maybe, but not rage.

"When this whole thing goes to court, if you decide to be there on the day, you'll get a chance to look him in the face," nodded the cop.

"We're going to be there," I said quickly, putting my hand on Matthew shoulder.

"He's got two kids Nathan... I don't know if I should press charges... those kids will lose their dad and I don't-" he paused for a moment. "I don't want to be responsible for taking away someone's parent."

"Don't be so fucking stupid Matthew. You aren't responsible for taking him away from them, he is. He's the one that chose to try and kill you. Don't you think they'd be safer growing up away from him? Don't you think their Mom will be safer with him in jail?" I prompted.

He ripped his eyes from the man and looked at me, nodding slowly.

"We want to take this as far as we can, we want this fucker to pay," I growled as Matthew was finally overcome by emotion and pulled me into a hug, burying his face in my shoulder.

"Come on Matthew, let's go home," I said, practically dragging him from the room. The cop gave me a sympathetic glance, as if saying sorry for what I was having to deal with and I gave him half a smile and a nod.

Every officer we'd dealt with over this whole thing had been so nice to us.

I was expecting Matthew to fall asleep in the car on the way back to the apartment, but he didn't, he stared out of the window the whole time.

"Are you OK?" I asked quietly as we waited at a red light.

"Can we... can we go and see Mom?"

A lump rose in my throat and I tried to force it to go away.

"Not today," I said after a long pause.

"It's been seventeen years Nathan, and you still avoid going there," he sighed.

"Because that stone in the ground is not our mother. Nothing can bring her back, and talking to a rock like its her is just insanity," I muttered but he heard every word.

I parked the car outside our building and climbed out. Matthew heaved himself to his feet and slammed the car door closed.

"You look exhausted today, you have done ever since Hayley was here and stayed over," I commented as I watched him struggle up the few steps into the building.

"I did something I shouldn't have done, and I'm paying for it," he sighed as we stepped into the elevator.

"When are you allowed to do stuff like that again?" I asked and he shook his head.

"I didn't want to ask because I was worried they'd say never. But it's taken all of my strength. I'm probably just going to sleep all day now," he said as the elevator carried us to our floor.

"Well that's fine, I'll make us some awesome dinner and wake you up once its done, you can eat and go back to bed if you need to," I said with a weak smile.

I wished he would spend time with me. He was always sleeping, or always exhausted. It was straining our relationship because the more I tried to spend time with him, it was as if he tried harder to avoid me.

"You? Cooking? Should I call the fire department now or...?" he smirked as we walked down the hallway to our door.

"Shut up! I can cook when I want to, just because I'm not master chef like you," I said, shoving him playfully.

"I'm not master of anything anymore. Well... master of surfing the couch maybe," he laughed as I let us in.

He kicked off his shoes and dropped his coat on the floor, immediately heading for his room.

"Come hangout?" he asked, stopping in his doorway.

I nodded and pulled off my own shoes and coat. It was well into November now, and outside was turning cold. The leaves were all gone from the trees and I knew the snow wasn't far away.

I walked into Matthew's room to find him sitting in his chair. I had expected him to be in his bed, that was where he spent all his time.

I sat on the bed, facing him.

"I've been worried about you," I said quickly.

"Why?" he sighed, running his hands through his hair.

"Because you're doing things you aren't supposed to... and making yourself exhausted. I think maybe it's time to accept doctors are right sometimes, and that you need to take it easy," I suggested, just waiting for him to yell at me or something in response to that.

"Nathan. I love this girl, I really do. It was amazing and completely worth being tired for. I promise I won't do it again until I feel stronger. Is that a fair deal?"

I nodded.

"Damn, can't believe I'm having to police your sex life... kinda gross," I laughed.

"Well I've policed yours most of our lives... so you can return the favour," he smirked.

I laughed to myself, remembering all of the drunken girls Matthew had saved me from in the past few years. Whenever we'd get wasted he'd always have my back and make sure I didn't end up in anyone's bed where I might have been in any kind of trouble. Apart from the nights he was drunk, then I was on my own.

"So you think you're gonna be up to partying again any time soon?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"I don't think ever again... like what if I fell over and bumped my head?" he said thoughtfully.

"What if I wrap you up in bubble wrap, then get you drunk?"

"Maybe that can be arranged. New years?" he asked, nodding.

"I'll get the bubble wrap," I grinned, leaning over and high-fiving him.

"So you and Hayley huh? Seems like it's turning pretty serious?" I questioned gently. With the baby on the way I wanted to make sure Matthew and Hayley's relationship was secure. I could still barely get my head around the fact that in eight months time I was going to be father, but I knew I had to keep my mouth shut about it, for everyone's sake.

"I guess it is," he said with a smile.

"She's the sweetest girl, I'm glad you found her," I nodded.

"You've been weird with her recently, the last few times... I don't know.. maybe its all in my head," he said, more to himself than me.

"You're imagining things Matthew," I said hastily.

Fuck. He knows something is wrong.

My mind started to race, trying to concoct an excuse.

"You sure you guys didn't like.. argue or anything? I mean, you can tell me?"

An argument. That's an easier option. Go with that! my mind ordered me.

"I guess we had a little... disagreement, but nothing major. It was just about you... just about me forcing you to eat more," I lied quickly.

"Yeah? What did you say?"

"Well I said that I know your jaw hurts when you've been chewing on your food... so I didn't want to force you to eat more than you wanted, even though I know you need to gain weight."

"And what did she say?" he questioned, identical eyes drilling into mine. I looked away before he caught me out. Matthew could always tell when I was lying.

"Uh.. well she said I need to force you to eat, but I don't really want to do that. So... you think you want to try maybe playing some bass soon?" I changed the subject quickly, feeling my cheeks blush pink.

He looked at me strangely and then answered.

"Yeah... I'd like to get back to that as soon as I can. I think maybe once I'm over this tiredness I'd like to go for it, and we can get back to recording the EP?"

"Definitely. We could maybe go to Florida over the holidays and record it? Stay in Dan's beach house?" I suggested, relieved that the topic of my fake argument with Hayley had been dropped.

"Let's do it," he said with a yawn.

"I'll leave you to get some sleep," I said, standing up. He nodded and moved to the bed, laying down on top of the blankets and closing his eyes.

"Hey get under these, it's cold in here," I said, tugging on the blankets. He shook his head stubbornly.

"Move it, come on, now. If you catch a cold I'll never forgive myself," I insisted, tugging harder on the blankets. Matthew groaned loudly and let me pull them from under him. I threw them on top of him and tucked them in around the edges, but being careful to leave his feet poking out at the bottom, I knew he couldn't stand them being tucked in.

"You even left my feet poking out," he grinned sleepily.

"What are nurses for?" I smirked, leaning down and ruffling up his hair before leaving the room to let him sleep.

I closed the door behind me then leaned on it, exhaling heavily.

It was getting hard to keep the secret already. I needed to drink, to relax, to unwind, to let go.

Deciding that I'd hit the bars later, I got started on dinner, doing my best to make Dad's vegetarian lasagne recipe. I knew it was Matthew's all time favourite so I tried my best in the hope that he'd eat it... even though I knew deep down that he'd inherited all of Dad's cooking skills whereas I had missed out on getting any of them.

I sighed as I started cooking, and let my mind wander to what I was planning for the night.

Matthew's point of view

*six hours later*

"Oh god yeah, mmm," I heard my brother moan again.

"NATHAN SHUT UP!" I yelled, hammering my fist on the wall again.

I heard him and the girl he'd brought home giggling, then the bed squeaking even more.

I groaned and pulled my pillow over my head.

Listening to Nathan get laid was possibly the worst thing ever.

I pulled out my I-pod and shoved the headphones in my ears hastily, wanting to block out the sound of Nathan and the unknown chick fucking each other silly.

He was very drunk, I could tell that much from the way he was giggling.

I tried to switch on my music, but found the battery was dead. I sighed and pulled the headphones back out of my ears and put the device back where it lived, in the drawer next to my bed.

"Mm, Nathan," moaned the woman.

I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Fucks sake," I muttered, rolling out of bed and grabbing my cellphone.

I heard more moaning as I left the apartment, heading into the hallway to call Hayley.

Something had been weird earlier when Nathan had been talking about her. I wasn't going to ask her her side of it, just mention him in conversation and see how she took it.

I called her phone and it went straight to voicemail.

"Damn it," I cursed, trying to now decide if I wanted to stay freezing out in the hallway where it was peaceful, or return to my warm bed and continue to listen to Nathan having sex.

My shivering told me to go back to bed, so I did, rubbing my stomach as I walked back into my room. I was still ridiculously full from eating almost an entire lasagne with Nathan just a few hours ago, and it had actually tasted amazing..

I pulled a pillow over my head and did my best to ignore the sounds from the next room.

My phone vibrated, telling me I had a text message. I opened it, it was from Hayley.

Sorry, my reception is bad here. What's up? :-) x

I smiled at the little goofy smiley face she'd included in her message and quickly wrote back.

Nathan's getting laid and I can hear it really loudly... CRINGE. I'm contemplating setting off the smoke alarm to see if that will stop them.. ideas? x

I waited for just a moment before she had replied.

Don't be mean =P xx

The moaning sounds coming through the wall were just getting louder and I punched the wall again.

"Nathan, SHUT UP!" I yelled.

I heard him laugh loudly.

"HI MAAATTHHEEWWW," he yelled back drunkenly. I heard the woman giggling loudly then a thud.

I flinched, wondering which of them had fallen over.

I could hear their muffled voices but couldn't make out any words, some giggling, then the moaning continued.

I picked my cellphone back up and dialled Nathan's number. It went straight to voicemail and I grinned to myself, getting ready to embarrass him. The beep sounded and I recorded my message for him.

"Hey there brother, this is what I had to put up with, hope you had fun though, bye!" I said, then held the phone up to the wall so it would record all of the noise they were making for him to listen to when he woke up.

I let the recording run until it timed out, then hung up the phone.

I shifted in the bed, trying to get comfortable, but still trying to keep the pillow over my head to block the majority of the sounds.

If we were going to live together long term I didn't want to be dealing with this on a regular basis, so I knew we'd have to find some sort of more permanent solution.

After a few more minutes, the noise stopped and I breathed a sigh of relief. I sent a quick text message to Hayley.

It's over, thank the lord! Hope you're having a better night than me, I miss you <3 x

I waited a few minutes for her to reply, but my phone didn't vibrate.

Knowing that Nathan was sharing his bed with someone tonight made me feel even more lonely in my bed all alone with Hayley hundreds of miles away. I willed her to text back, but she didn't.

I continued to stare at the blank screen until I slowly drifted off to sleep.