Forever's Not Supposed to End

Nathan's point of view

It was hours before I heard anything about Matthew.

I shifted awkwardly in my chair in the waiting room. This was possibly the most uncomfortable chair I'd ever sat in. Every minute felt like an hour as I waited, desperate for any kind of news.

My phone buzzed in my pocket yet again.

It was my sister.

"Any news?"

"Nothing yet," I replied quickly.

I had a horrible lump in my throat, and a feeling of dread in my stomach.

The sun had risen outside now, meaning I had been sat here at least seven hours.

A finger tapped my shoulder and I looked up. It was a nurse. She was tiny, maybe five foot one, skinny, red hair, thick rimmed glasses.

"You look like you could use this," she said, shyly holding up a Styrofoam cup filled with coffee.

"You are an angel," I said, taking the coffee gratefully and sipping it. It was perfect. A little milk, one sugar.

She perched herself awkwardly in the seat next to me. She awkwardly fiddled with the hem of her white nurses smock.

"You know something don't you?" I half asked, half stated.

She nodded, pushing her dyed red hair back off her face.

"We can do this here, or I have an office?" she offered, straightening her thick rimmed black glasses.

"Anywhere but here, I think this chair is breaking my back," I said, standing up and stretching.

I followed her down the corridor and into a small office. There was a doctor in there waiting.

I felt tears prick at my eyes and sting in my throat.

I forced myself to think positively. If he was dead they would have just told me. Plus I think I'd have felt it. being his twin, I would have just known instantly if he'd gone.

"Mr Leone," said the doctor, shaking my hand.

"You've met Miss Williams," he hinted to the nurse, then introduced himself, but I didn't catch his name.

"I have... bad news and good news. If your brother hadn't got the CT scan when he did, things would be much worse. Matthew had a large haematoma, a shattered skull, broken nose, dislocated jaw... he's in a bad way. You don't need me to tell you that."

"A haematoma is bleeding inside of the brain," muttered the nurse to me, obviously realizing I didn't know what was being said.

"So.. what's... what's going on now? Is he gonna be OK?" I asked, my voice shaking.

The doctor shook his head.

"I give him about a thirty percent chance of making it until this time tomorrow. We had to remove a large section of his skull to allow the brain to swell and the haematoma to drain. It's all up to him. We've done everything we can for now. It's all up to how badly he wants to wake up."

"You mean..? He's not... awake?" I forced back the tears threatening to spill. Thirty percent is not a good chance.

"He's heavily sedated. I'm sorry."

"Can I see him?" I whispered, my voice failing me.

"I'll take you," said the nurse, standing up and putting her hand on my shoulder.

"It's Nathan, right?" she asked.

"Mhm," I said, nodding, a few tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I'm Hayley. I'm going to be the nurse watching over Matthew while he gets better. Lets go see him," she said, taking my hand and pulling me from my chair.

She practically dragged me by my hand through a maze of corridors, up stairs, down stairs, what felt like miles.

"This might be kinda... hard to see," she warned, pausing at a door and letting go of my sweaty hand.

"I might puke," I warned, my stomach feeling weaker by the second.

"That's alright, everybody pukes sometimes. I wouldn't listen to Dr. Negative. I think your brother has already shown amazing strength... they lost him in surgery and he came back. If he wasn't strong, he wouldn't have managed that."

I just nodded. She was trying to be so positive. Bless her soul for trying.

I reached out and with a shaking hand, opened the door to Matthew's room.

He was laying in a bed, railings on each side so he didn't fall out, head propped up on a stack of fluffy white pillows. His head. It was mostly all shaven completely bald, ugly black stitches hiding what I knew was just his brain from view.

My stomach churned. My resolve to not cry just completely failed me. Tears poured down my cheeks as I walked slowly to his bedside.

I took his hand, it was clammy and lifeless.

"Matthew?" I said quietly. I knew he wasn't going to respond, but I had to try.

His heart monitor bleeped consistently, tiny peaks on the LCD display telling me my brother, my soulmate, was still in there somewhere,

I sank into the chair beside his bed, still clutching his hand.

I wanted to talk to him, but I couldn't find any words.

I settled for Italian. I spoke to him in Italian, the words came easier, even though my spoken Italian was terrible and our Dad would be ashamed of it.

I must have babbled on for hours. Talking about how amazing he was. How he was always the stronger twin, the more beautiful twin, how I'd be lost if he left me here alone.

Our Dad came and went, Mateo, Dan, our sisters, numerous friends, doctors, nurses and staff. All just faces rushing by me. I talked until I ran out of voice.

"Do you know you've been here almost two days straight?" asked a quiet voice from the doorway.

It was the pretty redhead nurse back again. She'd drop in every half hour or so.

I shook my head.

"I think... you could probably use some sleep, and some food," she said, walking over to us and looking carefully at Matthew's charts.

"I'm not leaving him," I said hoarsely.

She looked at me through her glasses, green eyes full of sadness.

"I know how much you want to be here when your brother wakes up... but It isn't going to a pleasant moment. The first thing that'll happen is he'll probably throw up from all the medication pumped in his system. Then after that he might pass straight back out. He might have a fit. He might not know who he is. I don't want you to go through that," she said sadly. She seemed genuine. She was so damn sweet.

"Go home OK? Go get a few hours sleep. I promise, if anything changes I'll call you right away," she said, putting her hand on top of mine and Matthew's and squeezing all three of our hands together.

"Tomorrow. I'll go home tomorrow, I have a feeling that-"

I froze. Matthew just squeezed my hand.

The heart rate monitor started to bleep louder. The nurse hit the call button on the panel above the bed.

Within seconds there were doctors and nurses crowding around.

"He's gonna come around... in five, four, three, two..... one," she counted down as she watched his heart rate increase on the monitor. Matthew's eyes snapped open and he retched violently, back arching off the bed.

"Matthew? Matthew! It's OK, It's OK!" I said, helping two nurses hold him down so he didn't thrash around and injure himself.

He was panting heavily, eyes squeezed closed, teeth gritted in agony.

"Matthew? Can you hear me in there? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me," said the redhead nurse, taking his hand, the one I wasn't holding. His hand closed around mine tightly.

"He can hear you."

"Are you in any pain? One to ten, how bad?"

"Fifty," he hissed. My heart skipped a beat, hearing him say something was incredible. But also knowing how much agony he was in was horrible.

"This is gonna feel pretty awesome then," she said, injecting a full syringe of a clear liquid into his IV line.

He immediately stopped struggling. I removed my hand from his chest warily, just waiting for him to jolt again.

He slurred something completely incoherent and slipped back into unconsciousness.

My heart was pounding a mile a minute.

"You were right, that was pretty horrible," I said faintly, my head spinning. I slumped into the chair, still clutching Matthew's hand.

"You alright there buddy? You've gone a little pale..."

The room swam before my eyes.

The shock of the last two days and everything I had seen, heard and experienced seemed to overtake my systems ability to cope.

The last thing I remember seeing is the redhead nurses face, looking at me, eyes full of concern and care. Then everything went black.