Forever's Not Supposed to End

Hayley's point of view

I knew it was only going to be a matter of time until Nathan passed out for some reason. I had been watching him carefully for the past 2 days, and I knew that other than the coffee I had been bringing him, he'd hadn't eaten or drank anything.

He also hadn't slept, but I couldn't really blame him for that. If it was my identical twin in this situation, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep either.

He was slumped in the chair, looking utterly pathetic, his hand still unconsciously clutching his brothers.

I sank into the chair on the other side of the bed and watched them both carefully for what felt like a long time.

Nathan jolted violently and fell out of his chair onto the floor.

He quickly picked himself up and settled himself back in his chair, blushing furiously.

"Did you see that? I got some mad skills," he said with a faint smile.

"You sure do. You pass out and fall over like a complete pro."

"That fucking... sucked..." he said, running his hands through his dark blond hair.

"I did warn you when he woke up it wouldn't be great. It's OK, it's a good thing, he's fighting it."

Nathan re-took his brothers hand in his own.

"If he doesn't make it... I.."

I held up my hand to silence him.

"Don't talk about that. he'll make it. You, on the other hand? You need to go home, get some food, get a couple of hours sleep, a hot shower... just.. go sort yourself out. I got him, I'm not letting him go," I said, gently picking up Matthew's other hand, being careful of his IV line.

"I'll be like.. an hour," said Nathan, reluctantly getting to his feet.

"You be as long as you need to be. I told you, I got him," I said, smiling.

"I'll be right back, don't you go anywhere," he said, leaning down to his brother and gently kissing his cheek.

I wanted to hug him. He was just the sweetest thing.

Nathan hurried out of the room, looking back from the doorway just once before leaving and closing the door behind him.

That left me alone with an unconscious Matthew, and my thoughts.

These past two days had definitely cleared something up for me, I didn't want to work on the ICU anymore. Having just completed my training I kind of took what I could get. Being almost two years younger than all the other graduates didn't help me either.

I knew working with people in the ICU would be intense, and emotionally very difficult at times, but Matthew and Nathan seemed to be ripping my heart from my chest.

The brief conversations I'd had with Nathan had made it hard for me to remain positive, but I knew I couldn't let him see me falter.

Matthew's hand twitched in mine.

My eyes immediately flicked to his face.

He was perfectly still for a few moments, before his eyes peeked open the tiniest bit.

The amount of drugs he had in his system, there was no way he should be awake.

"Matthew?" I asked cautiously.

He blinked, then opened his eyes a little more.

He looked around for a few seconds, his eyes not really focusing on one particular thing, just looking around.

He went to roll onto his side, the side of his head missing his skull, I grabbed him by the shoulder quickly to stop him. I pushed him gently back onto his back.

He looked at me, confused.

"Matthew?"

He shifted a little in the bed, then lifted his hands to look at them, then looked back at me.

"You in there?"

He looked around again, his eyes not focusing, just scanning the room.

He reached for my hand. He looked scared and confused. Damn it why did Nathan have to leave when he did?

I took his hand, and put my other hand on his shoulder.

"Shh, It's OK, go back to sleep."

I couldn't bring myself to look at the fear in his eyes. His breathing was fast and ragged, his hand gripping mine so tightly it felt like it might break.

I rubbed his shoulder.

"Its OK Matthew, you're OK. Go back to sleep," I said softly.

His eyes met mine and I knew I was going to have to sedate him. I could see how much pain he was in.

He mumbled something and closed his eyes.

His hand relaxed its grip and his breathing slowed.

The door to the room swung open and there was Nathan, cup of coffee clutched in his hand, hair still wet from the shower.

"He's been awake, kind of," I told him as he dropped into the chair.

"Matthew? You still in there?" he asked him.

"I'm here," whispered Matthew, he didn't open his eyes.

Nathan's eyes widened and filled with tears.

Please don't cry Nathan, you'll make me cry.

"Talk to me," said Nathan, his voice high pitched as he tried to hold back tears.

"Who.." mumbled Matthew, peeking his eyes open for a second, then closing them.

He tried a few more times to make some words come out of his mouth, but failed miserably before slipping back into his unconscious state.

Nathan was staring at his brother, eyes wide in shock.

"Did he... did he not recognize me?" he asked, a tear rolling down his cheek.

I didn't know what to say.

"He'll get it back, its just from the shock-" I tried to explain.

"He has no idea who I am?"

"He will do, just give him time I-"

"I don't want to give it time. I want my brother back. I want him to be OK," he said, tears rolling freely down his cheeks.

I did the only thing I could think of to comfort him, and awkwardly embraced him in a hug.

"He'll be OK Nathan, I promise," I said, the first tear escaping my eye and rolling slowly down my cheek.

I couldn't promise anything.

I had no idea if Matthew would ever recognise his twin again.

I had even less of an idea if he would ever speak, walk, or function like a normal person ever again.

All I knew was I had to try and keep everything as positive as possible, and do my best to stop Nathan from falling.