Forever's Not Supposed to End

Nathan's point of view

One a week later

"Hey, these are mine!" cried Matthew, pulling clothes out of Hayley's suitcase.

"But, but, they look better on me," she pouted, trying to take them from him.

"Fine," he sighed, letting her take his clothes. It was adorable they they were pretty much the same size. Sure she was shorter, but he was just as skinny as her and she seemed to be always wearing his shirts.

"And they smell like you, which will be nice when I'm all lonely on the road," she smiled slightly and he made a sad face, opening his arms and pulling her into a hug.

"You guys are breaking my heart, stop being so cute!" cried Jenna as Hayley finally started to try and zip up her suitcase.

"Um, I think I packed too much," she said quietly as she couldn't get it to close.

"No, you didn't, just needs some persuasion," I insisted, jumping on top of the case and sitting on it to hold it closed whilst she zipped it up.

"Thanks," she smiled as I climbed off it again.

"We've got overpacking suitcases down to an art form, so don't worry about it," I grinned.

"So you ready?" asked Matthew quietly, taking her hand and she looked at the floor.

"I think so..."

"Guys come on, let's go," I said quickly, wanting to cut them off before they could get too emotional.

Matthew insisted on dragging Hayley's suitcase downstairs for her and out to the car, where he struggled to lift it and put it into the trunk.

"He's so determined isn't he?" smiled Jenna from beside me.

"Yeah, I love him for it," I smiled, wrapping my arms around her as we watched Hayley and Matthew goofing around as he tried to shove the case into the back of the car.

"OK, I think we're good," he panted slightly and stretched his arms.

Hayley looked up at the apartment building.

"Bye house," she said sadly.

"But when you get back we'll have a better house, just for us two. Come on, be happy," said Matthew, trying to put on a happy face, but I could see this was hurting him to let her go.

They'd been looking at apartments seeing as they didn't really need the space in the one Matthew and I had been sharing, and they'd found a perfect place that Matthew would sort out moving into whilst Hayley was on tour.

Their new place was much closer to where I was living with Jenna, so I was happy about being closer to him.

I felt Jenna shiver slightly and I held her tighter in the cold early morning air.

"I love you," I mumbled shyly, kissing her cheek.

"I know," she smiled at me, climbing into the passenger seat of my car.

"Hey, I don't get a love you back?" I sulked as I got into the drivers seat.

"Maybe later," she smirked, kicking her feet up onto the dashboard.

"Wow, you let her put her feet up in your car but not me? So unfair," laughed Matthew from the back seat as I started to drive towards O'Hare airport.

"Quit your bitching," I laughed and he sulked back into his seat, him and Hayley holding hands.

I glanced at them in the mirror from time to time as I drove. It broke my heart that she had to leave for so long, so I couldn't even imagine what Matthew's heart must have been going through.

From what I could see in the mirror she had silent tears rolling down her cheeks, Matthew brushing them away with his thumb, mumbling sweet things into her ear, holding her close, telling her it would be OK.

The airport seemed much closer than normal as we arrived in record time.

Jenna and I both turned around to look in the back seat to find Matthew and Hayley just holding eachother silently.

I glanced at my watch. According to the time we didn't have long to get Hayley onto her plane, but I felt awkward being the one to rush them saying their goodbye.

"Come on," I said sadly, being the first to get out of the car.

"I don't want to leave you, I can't," she whimpered as her and Matthew stood just outside the doors of the departures terminal.

"But this is what you've always dreamed of, to get to share your voice with people all over the world. You're going to have the most incredible time I promise you, and you won't even think about me you'll be having so much fun. Give it everything every night, give it your all OK?" he said, I could hear his voice shaking as he tried not to cry. Jenna held my hand tighter and buried her face into my shoulder.

I wrapped my arm around her and held her tight.

"I'll do my best," said Hayley quietly, Matthew wiped away a tear rolling down her cheek.

I spotted Hayley's bandmates Taylor and Jeremy running over, looking as excited as two five year old kids on Christmas morning.

In the distance I could see Josh and Zack, talking to each other, looking over every now and again. Hayley and Josh still hadn't made up after their fight and it was still tense and awkward between them.

"H-bomb come on, we already checked in our stuff! We're going to Europe!" squealed Taylor excitedly, bouncing up and down, grinning like an idiot.

"I'll be there in a second guys, I just want a minute first," she sighed, walking away back across the parking lot.

Matthew's point of view

I followed her as she walked away, I caught her up and wrapped my arms around her waist from behind to stop her getting away.

"Don't. I feel sick," she sighed, pushing me away.

"Again?" I asked quietly and she nodded, rubbing her stomach slightly.

"You nervous about flying?" I asked and she shook her head then looked at the ground.

"This is going on like every morning now though, you need to figure it out, and you need to tell me if its still going on on tour OK?" I said, pushing her hair back off her face and kissing her forehead gently.

"OK," she mumbled.

"You need to get checked in, or you'll miss your flight," I said quietly, pulling her into a hug.

"I don't care, I'd rather stay here," she mumbled against my chest.

"I'd rather you followed your dreams, now come on," I sighed, leading her by the hand back towards the departures building.

"But now this is my dream. I want to stay here and be with you forever," she said, a fresh wave of tears rolling down her cheeks.

I choked up.

"Hey, don't cry, look you've got me started now," I sighed, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. I smiled weakly at her and she tried to smile in return.

"That can be our next adventure OK? You go play this tour and I promise you amazing things will happen when you get home, I'll be waiting for you. I love you, you know that right?" I said, putting one finger under her chin and tilting her face up so she was looking at me.

She smiled slightly and nodded.

"I love you more than anything," she said and I smiled.

"Good to know the feeling is mutual," I said as our foreheads pressed together and I just stared into her eyes.

Our lips met in a gentle, loving kiss that I never wanted to end, but we were interrupted by Nathan coming over and pulling us apart gently. He looked really sad.

"I'm really sorry guys, but it's time," he said, looking at the ground.

We all walked back over to the building and met back up with the Paramore guys. Josh and Zack were ignoring me trying to make eye-contact with either one of them, so I stopped bothering and focused my attention back to Hayley who was now crying hard and gripping my hands so tightly I was losing the feeling in my fingertips.

"It'll be OK," I told her quietly as we walked her to the check in desk.

She sighed and rubbed her stomach again, pulling a face.

"Are you sure you're alright?" I asked as the woman checked her in and took her suitcase.

She shook her head.

"Feel like I might puke," she mumbled and I hugged her gently. She'd gone really pale and shivery.

"Aw no way, are you serious Hayley? For fucks sake get a grip, it's only a month, he's still going to be here when you get back," said Josh, rolling his eyes at us.

"Have you ever almost died Josh?" demanded Nathan and the entire group went silent. I shot him a warning look as Josh shrugged his shoulders.

"I think when something like that happens, it changes the way you look at time, and the time you spend with the people you love. If Hayley loves my brother even half as much as I do, this is killing her, now be a real man and have some respect," he spat.

Josh stared at the ground. The awkward silence remained. Hayley was still shaking slightly in my arms.

"I think what my brother was trying to say, is that Hayley is going to need all four of you guys to look after her and keep her smiling while she's away, and I know you guys have had your fights and your differences, but you've made an amazing record and you need to get out there and support it, all of you, together, getting along," I said and Hayley smiled slightly.

"Now group hug, and get on the plane, before I end up coming with you," I sighed, shaking my head.

Hayley reluctantly let go of me and hugged her four bandmates. I heard Josh mumble an apology and Nathan shook his hand, followed by me.

"Don't let her feel alone," I told him and he nodded.

"I'm sor-"

"It's fine, go," I said quickly as we all headed towards the security checkpoint, as far as we could follow them without tickets.

My stomach did an awkward kind of backflip at the thought of actually saying goodbye to her in just a few moments.

She clung onto my hand tighter but this time I squeezed back.

"I'm just going to say I love you, and see you soon," I said as we got to the back of the line.

"But-"

"Please don't make me cry at the airport," I laughed and she nodded.

"Keep smiling, chin up, it's not long, and I'll be waiting for you in our new place when you get back," I smiled and kissed her quickly.

"I'll miss you, I'll call all the time," she said as she rummaged in her bag for her passport.

"I look forward to it," I smiled, fighting back tears so hard.

I didn't want her to leave.

Ever.

"How's your stomach now?" I asked as she pushed her hair back off her still slightly sweaty forehead.

"It'll be fine. Love you," she whispered, kissing my cheek and giving me a final hug.

"Take care. I'll see you real soon, call me when you land," I smiled, kissing her one last time before letting her go.

I walked back over to where Nathan and Jenna were standing and they both grabbed me and hugged me so tightly I couldn't breathe.

Hayley gave me a small wave as she disappeared from view and I felt my heart sink.

"Don't be sad, we're going to go and make cookies and watch movies all day, and you're not allowed to be sad because we're going to keep you happy," said Jenna with a big smile.

I smiled weakly in return.

"It'll be OK you know, she's not gone forever, she'll be back before you know it," he said, putting his hand on my shoulder as we walked back to his car.

I felt strangely incomplete without Hayley's hand in mine.

"Thanks you two," I smiled weakly and dropped into the back of the car.

I'd been determined to spend as much time with Hayley as I could before she left, so had barely slept for the past week.

Exhaustion took over and I fell asleep in the back of the car as we started to drive back to Nathan and Jenna's apartment.

I didn't notice my phone ringing in my pocket, and I only picked up the missed call when they woke me up outside the apartment.

It was that same unfamiliar number. I looked at it for a few seconds before calling it back.