Forever's Not Supposed to End

Matthew's point of view

The phone was answered after two rings.

It was a voice I knew all too well.

"Matthew?"

"What do you want? How did you even get this number?" I hissed. My ex girlfriend was the very last person in the world I wanted to speak to right now.

"I just wanted to talk to you, I heard about what happened and I wanted to know if you were alri-"

"You're about six months too late, Amber. I'm fine. Please don't contact me again, I don't want to speak to you for a reason," I said firmly. Nathan must have caught her name in what I said because he started glaring at the phone.

"Whore," he said, loudly enough so she could hear it down the phone.

"I still think about you Matthew, I fucked up and made a huge mistake and I'm-"

"I'm going to hang up on you now, because I don't need to be listening to this bullshit. Please delete my number and stay away from me," I said, pressing the red button to cut her off.

"Urgh," I groaned as I shoved my phone back into my pocket.

"Hug it out," said Nathan, quickly grabbing me and hugging me tightly.

"You give the best man hugs," I mumbled into his shoulder.

Hearing her voice was the last thing I needed, it dragged all the emotions of the break-up back to the surface and combined with Hayley having just left, I was turning quickly into an emotional wreck.

"Hey, no crying," he said quickly as he noticed my tears soaking through his shirt.

"I feel horrible," I sighed as he hugged me tighter.

"Don't," he said quietly, his hands rubbing my back soothingly.

I closed my eyes and just rested my head on his shoulder until I became aware of another person joining our hug.

Jenna's left hand ended up right by my face and I stared at the ring on her finger.

It just made me feel even more miserable that I hadn't proposed to Hayley yet.

"Come on, let's make some cookies, watch some movies and just chill," he said, trying to sound up-beat and happy.

I sulked in the kitchen whilst Jenna and Nathan made a huge mess making cookies, they tried to get me to join in but I was just staring into space.

They were giggling and throwing flour at each other.

I barely even noticed them start making out and vanish into the bedroom.

I sighed and stared out of the window, pressing the side of my face against the cold glass.

I must have fallen asleep sitting there like that, because the next thing I knew a sweaty Nathan was shaking me gently to wake me up.

"Dude, you're so gross," I pulled a face and he smirked.

"Sorry, I just... we can't..." he laughed and I sighed, shaking my head and standing up and stretching.

"Control yourselves?" I suggested as an ending for his sentence and he smirked.

I was sore all over from falling asleep in such an awkward position leaning against the window and wished Hayley was here for me to cuddle with.

"I'm gonna go home, I want to get some sleep," I said, starting to walk out of the kitchen but he stopped me.

"Wait. You aren't staying to hangout?"

"Uh... no. I don't feel like it anymore. I just want to be alone," I sighed again as I looked at him.

He was glowing with happiness, unable to wipe the grin off his face. I couldn't stand to look at him.

"Don't go, if you're tired you can crash on the couch and we can still-"

"Nathan. Seriously. I just want to be by myself," I said cutting him off.

"OK," he mumbled, the smile vanishing from his face.

After refusing to let him drive me, I struggled to walk back to my apartment. My body was tired and I was just dreaming of crawling into my bed and not moving for a few days.

Absent-mindedly I rubbed the side of my head as I walked.

It felt like it took hours to walk the few blocks to the apartment.

I pulled off my shoes and clothes and crawled under the sheets. They smelled strongly of Hayley and I just let the tears fall this time.

I missed her so much already.

****

I woke several hours later to find myself curled up next to someone, cuddling with them.

I didn't even need to open my eyes to know it was my twin.

"You OK?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Mhm," I replied, burying my face in the pillows.

"How's your head today?" he asked, looking at me carefully.

"It's kinda tingling, usually Hayley would make me a cup of tea and we'd sit around and cuddle and then I'd fall asleep, and when I'd wake up she'd be watching me sleep and she'd tell me how much she loves me and just - fuck. She's so far away Nathan," I whispered, trying not to start crying again.

"It'll be OK. Think about all the stuff you get to do when she gets back," he said, hugging me tightly.

"Jesus Matthew you're so fucking skinny now," he said quietly, his fingers tracing my ribs.

"Quit it," I said, shrugging him off.

"I'm serious. What do you weigh now? Like a hundred pounds?" he asked, his voice still quiet.

"Something like that..." I trailed off, knowing that I was certainly the thinnest I'd ever been.

"Come on, get up, we're going for pizza and ice cream," he said and pulled the blankets off me.

I groaned loudly as the cold air hit my skin, and rapidly started shivering as I was only inmy boxers.

"I fucking hate you sometimes," I grumbled as I got up and pulled on my clothes.

I glanced at the time and knew I still had several hours before Hayley would be off her flight and able to call me so I tried to put a smile on my face and spend some much-needed quality time with Nathan.

Hayley's point of view

The first thing I did when we got to our tour bus was run to the bathroom and puke.

I'd felt terrible on the plane, my stomach just couldn't seem to settle. I'd never felt anything like it before.

"H-bomb, are you OK?" came Jeremy's voice from the other side of the door.

"No," I spluttered as my stomach churned again.

I reached up and unlocked the door to let him in and he gently rubbed my back as I retched again.

"You want some water?" he asked quietly.

I nodded and pushed my hair back off my face.

He vanished and returned a few seconds later with a bottle of water for me.

"Thanks," I said, gratefully sipping from it.

A thought crossed my mind and I looked back up at Jeremy.

"Hey, do you know what the date is?" I asked, rubbing my stomach again.

"It's January eighteenth and we're in Euuuurope," he sang, doing a goofy little dance that made me smile.

I mentally counted backwards.

"Fuck," I muttered.

"Something wrong?" he asked, looking confused.

"No, of course not. I think I just want to go for a walk, before we start driving anywhere," I said quickly and with a smile, trying not to seem too suspicious.

Fuck.

My mind was racing as I grabbed a few things and left the bus.

Not knowing what else to do I called Matthew and he picked up after less than half a ring.

"Waiting for me huh?" I smiled into the phone.

"Well, maybe. How was your flight? And is your stomach feeling better now?" he asked. He sounded so far away.

"Wow twenty questions," I smirked.

"Uh the flight was OK I guess, kinda boring, and my stomach is fine now, I don't know what that was," I lied quickly.

"Glad to hear it, I was worried, like a lot."

"Aw you don't need to worry, I'm good," I lied quickly.

I had a feeling I knew what was going on, and why I couldn't stop throwing up in the mornings.

"So Nathan is trying to make me fat," he laughed and I grinned.

"Yeah? He feeding you up?"

"Urgh. He made me eat pizza, and ice cream, and drink milkshakes and just so much junk food, I feel disgusting," he laughed.

"You poor thing. You should try and put back on some weight though, you've gone really skinny again," I worried aloud.

"I'll try and sort something out before you get home," he said sincerely.

"But hey I gotta go, we're heading to an interview now," I lied again. I hated lying to him.

"I'm proud of you. I'll talk to you soon lover," I could practically hear his smile.

I fought back tears at how much I just wanted to be with him right then.

"Love you," I said quickly, then hanging up the phone and stuffing it back into my pocket.

I'd been walking as I talked to him on the phone, and my feet had carried me into the city, I spotted what I needed - a pharmacy - and went inside, glancing over my shoulder to check none of the guys were following me.

Once I had bought what I needed I walked back to the bus with the item stashed in my bag.

The guys were all crashed out in their bunks, exhausted from the long flight, so I crept into the bathroom and locked the door.

I stared at the pregnancy test for a few moments before taking a deep breath and opening the pack.

The more I thought about it, the realisation hit me that I hadn't actually had my period in several months, all due to various reasons.

But now there was no other possible reason.

I watched the tiny little pink plus sign appear on the white stick and held my breath for a few seconds.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I glanced at it. A text message from Matthew.

I love you Hayley xo

It was as if he knew.

I didn't want to deal with this on my own. I didn't understand my emotions. I didn't feel happy about it, but I didn't feel sad either.

All the things I wanted had come along at once, and I was an ocean apart from the one person I actually wanted to talk to about it.