Forever's Not Supposed to End

Matthew's point of view

*Two weeks later*

I took a few weeks to myself, needing to get my head straight.

Hayley had taken some of her stuff and left the apartment, meaning that I was alone there, and for the past two weeks I had hardly left, not wanting to bump into anyone around town.

I didn't know if she was staying with Nathan and Jenna, or if she'd have gone back home to Nashville to her house there.

I swallowed nervously as I knocked on the door to Nathan and Jenna's apartment.

I knew it was time to fix the situation, to explain that now my initial anger had passed and I'd got my emotions under control, that I didn't feel angry about it, and that I was sorry for the way I'd acted.

Jenna opened the door and didn't look at all pleased to see me.

"He's not here," she said, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Do you know where he is? And what's he doing going out alone anyway?" I asked, slightly annoyed that after Nathan's whole show on the rooftop that Jenna was letting him out of her sight.

"He's with Hayley, he went with her to her doctors appointment, seeing as you weren't around to be there for her," she said, glaring at me.

I felt even more guilty that I had forgotten there was an appointment today.

"I'm sorry, OK? I really am. I feel horrible. I just want to fix it all and have everything go back to how it was, I never wanted any of this to happen," I sighed and she softened slightly.

"Nathan's been really upset. He's been getting really emotional over it and he's taking his Xanax again," she said and I looked down at the ground.

I knew how much Nathan hated taking those pills to keep his emotions from destroying him.

"Has he been going to any therapy or anything?" I mumbled, staring at my shoes.

"No. But I've been talking to him every day, trying to help him out. He's not the only one who's hurting though you know. Hayley has cried pretty much non-stop for two weeks, and there's nothing that either of us can say or do to make her feel better," she said and I held up my hand to stop her talking.

"OK. Now that I feel like the worst person in the world, I'll just get out of here. Let me know when they're back and I'll come and talk to them then," I said and Jenna pointed behind me.

I turned to see Nathan and Hayley walking hesitantly down the hallway towards me.

"Hey," I said cautiously.

Nathan wouldn't look at me, and Hayley mumbled a hello before looking at the ground too.

"I don't even know which one of you to talk to first," I said with a nervous laugh.

"Nathan I think you should go first," said Hayley, nudging him towards me.

He dragged his feet as he walked over and I stared at him until he looked up at me.

His eyes looked dead like the last time he had been taking antidepressants, and I knew the first thing I needed to do was get him off of them again, because they weren't healthy for him.

Our eyes met and we stared at each other for a few seconds before I stepped forwards and tentatively hugged him.

It was a few seconds before I felt his arms close around me.

"I'm so sorry. I don't hate you, and I take back everything I said that day. I was just so mixed up, but now it all makes sense in my mind, and I don't blame you for any of this, because it was nobodies fault. I'm just so sorry," I said quietly. I was very aware of the girls watching us closely.

"You've lost weight," he mumbled against my shoulder.

"Well, I've had a shitty two weeks. My head has been punishing me for being such a dick to you I think," I sighed and he held me tighter.

"Let's get you some food," he said in the same monotone.

"Not right now. Are you OK?" I asked, breaking the hug and stepping back to look at him.

"I've been better. I still feel so guilty, and we just listened to the baby's heart beating at the doctors office and it's all so real now and I just... I wish it was actually yours and I didn't have to hate myself," he sighed and I put my hand on his shoulder.

"Hey. We're twins right? Genetically the exact same person? Came from one cell? Huh? Yes?" I said and he nodded.

"So this means that... basically, the way I'm trying to look at it, is that it's our baby, not mine or yours, either way It'd turn out the same right? I mean. He or she is still going to be a midget, and be really skinny, and maybe even get our weird coloured eyes, but the thing I've finally managed to wrap my head around is that it doesn't bother me, so it shouldn't bother you. This was always going to be something we were going to share anyway right? I mean maybe not so literally, but it doesn't matter to me."

He stared at me for a few seconds and then nodded slowly.

I hated how devoid of emotion he was.

"Come here," I sighed, hugging him tightly.

"If you're sure you're OK with it. I mean. I still want to be Uncle Nathan, and I can't even get through a day without you around, these two weeks have been hell," he mumbled and I shook my head.

"I won't be running off again any time soon," I promised him and he gave me a weak smile.

"I'll let you two sort it out," he said, going inside the apartment with Jenna and leaving Hayley and I to talk in the hallway.

"I was really worried you were never going to sort this out," she said quietly, putting her hands in her pockets and looking up at me.

"It's been killing me to be away from you. I'm so sorry, please don't hate me. I know I've been the worst guy in the whole world... but I really want to fix it and make it up to you," I said, watching her carefully.

"You don't need to make it up to me, I can't imagine how it must have felt to find out. I'm so sorry it happened, but I'm glad you've got it straight in your head now that it doesn't mean anything, I still love you, and you're still going to be the dad of the family," she smiled and I grinned.

"I love you so much," I smiled, pulling her into a hug.

"How did the appointment go? Anything to report?" I asked and she shook her head slightly.

"Still no bump to speak of, but a good strong heartbeat and the doctors happy, so I gotta go back in a months time," she said and I held her close.

"I still can't believe it sometimes. A real baby to take care of. It's going to be amazing," I smiled and she laughed.

"You aren't the one who has to give birth," she laughed and I smirked.

"Well, I guess that's true. But if I could, I'd do it for you," I laughed and she slapped me playfully.

"No you wouldn't."

"No, you're right, I wouldn't," I laughed and she shook her head.

"You're so mean to me Matthew," she pouted and I kissed her cheek.

"You love it," I smirked and she glared at me.

"Hey come on, let's go get some food or something, we could go all four of us?" I suggested and she nodded.

"Yeah. I kinda want pancakes with hot sauce and chocolate," she said, looking confused.

"That's disgusting and adorable," I smiled, wrapping my arms around her gently and kissing the top of her head.

"The past week I've eaten hot sauce on everything. My mouth is so burned I can hardly even taste it anymore," she giggled.

"OK well, we can figure something out, let's get Nathan and Jenna and all go eat somewhere downtown," I said, opening the apartment door.

Nathan was sitting on the couch staring into space, with Jenna sat very close to him, looking at him concernedly.

"Nathan," I sighed, walking over to him.

"Come on, we're going to go get spicy food," I said, tapping him on the shoulder to try and get a response.

Eventually we persuaded him to leave and I offered to drive to get us all food.

Lunch was awkward, because Hayley and I were just enjoying being in each other's company again, but Nathan was silent and Jenna was tense as she tried to get him included in the conversation.

"Nathan, no more of those pills OK?" I mumbled to him as we walked back to the car.

"Mhm," he nodded.

"I'm serious. You're like a zombie. It's awful," I sighed and he nodded.

"I still feel so guilty for ruining your perfect life," he said quietly, almost as if it was to himself and I wasn't supposed to hear it.

"I'm not even going to respond to that," I sighed, pushing past him and catching up to walk with Jenna and Hayley.

We got to the car and Nathan sat in the back behind the passenger seat. I drove home, Hayley sitting beside me and then Jenna behind me.

Once we got back I pulled Jenna to one side to get a word with her outside the apartment.

"You'll keep an eye on him right? I mean, I'm going to hangout with him all the time, but I'm still worried about night times and stuff," I said, looking down at my feet.

"I was going to do this whole nice night for him tonight. Can you get him out of the apartment for a few hours this afternoon so I can set it up?" she asked and I smiled.

"Of course. I'll get him to come with us now if that works?"

"Sounds perfect. I just need like an hour or two, but I think he'll like it," she said and I nodded and then grimaced.

"I don't want to know about it if it's anything sexual," I added hastily.

"I was going to cook dinner, bake him a cheesecake, and then maybe like... rub his shoulders, because he's so tense at the moment," she said and I couldn't help but smile at how cute they were together.

"You're adorable, that'll make him so happy," I nodded and grinned and we followed Nathan and Hayley up to the apartment.

I managed to persuade Nathan to come and hangout for a while, whilst Hayley stayed with Jenna, claiming she needed female company.

I didn't mind, because I knew I'd be seeing her later on when she came home, and I really just wanted to be with Nathan.

We sat on the couch in my apartment for a while, neither of us saying anything, just being with each other.

Nathan kicked off his shoes and put his feet up on the table, then turned onto his side.

I felt a wave of tiredness wash over me and I grabbed the blanket and also kicked off my shoes.

"You've been taking care of yourself properly right? These past 2 weeks? Resting up and eating good food?" he asked as I threw the large blanket over myself.

"Mhm," I mumbled sleepily.

"I don't believe you for a second, look at you, you're a mess," he sighed, tucking the blanket around me so I didn't have to move.

"I know," I mumbled, closing my eyes and allowing sleep to take me.

The last thing I was aware of was Nathan and I curling up together sharing the blanket, before I fell into a deep sleep.

Nathan's point of view

I woke up to Hayley leaning over me, gently shaking my shoulder.

It was dark in the apartment and I blinked sleepily, sitting up slowly. I was tangled up with Matthew and a blanket on the couch.

He was still in a deep sleep, his hand over the left side of his face. I could sense he was in a lot of pain from his head, and I wished he had been at the doctors appointment earlier to hear the baby's heart beating. I had decided not to look at the screen, knowing I would have just cried at it.

"You OK?" asked Hayley quietly as I got up and she sat down next to Matthew's sleeping form.

"Mhm," I nodded quickly.

"Talk to me," she said softly, her eyes pleading with me in the half light.

"I don't want to talk to anyone right now, I just want to... I don't even know what I want," I sighed.

She lay down where I had been, curled around Matthew. I realised just how small he looked as her thin frame made him look even smaller.

He stirred slightly and she kissed the side of his head gently and wrapped her arm around his waist.

His hand found hers and entwined their fingers together.

"I'll leave you guys to it," I smiled faintly, picking up the blanket from where it had fallen on the floor and draping it over them.

"Nathan. Wait. Stop thinking about it OK? Just go and have a nice night, and tomorrow let's go and track some new songs, and book a show, because I think in maybe a month I'll be ready to get back to my real life and not just my life of 100% being in my bed all day," he mumbled sleepily, but I caught every word.

"I'll figure out a date for the show, and we'll book this thing brother!" I grinned, feeling happier than I had in a long time just at the thought of getting back on stage.

"We'll see you tomorrow yeah? I want to come down and watch you guys," smiled Hayley, starting to rub Matthew's shoulders as she lay behind him on the couch.

He seemed to instantly relax, and looked like he was falling back to sleep really fast so I quickly touched his arm and mumbled a goodbye to both him and Hayley before heading out.

I walked home the quickest way, the sun was going down quickly now and I was still edgy about being out in the city at night by myself after what had happened.

I reached the apartment and unlocked the door, then pushed it but found the security chain was on so I couldn't get in.

"Hey, what gives?" I called and I heard Jenna's bare feet padding across the floor.

"Just, give me two more seconds!" she called back. I tried to peek in, but it was dimly lit in the apartment so I couldn't see anything.

"OK, I'll let you in now," she said excitedly, I let her pull the door closed so she could take off the chain before she opened it slowly.

"Well hey there," she smiled, pushing her hair back off her face.

I tilted my head to the side and looked into the apartment.

The place was spotlessly clean, with hundreds of tiny candles lit all over the living room, casting a soft flickering light over the room. Jenna was wearing a short, silky robe and I could smell food.

"What's the occasion?" I asked, unable to stop myself smiling that she had done something special for me.

"It's international 'I love Nathan Leone' day, so I thought I'd do something nice for you, and you've been super stressed lately so I thought I'd help you out," she smiled and I hugged her tightly.

"Why have I never heard of this day before?" I mumbled against her neck as I trailed kisses up to behind her ear.

"Because, silly, I didn't know you on this day last year, but this can happen every year now," she giggled, nudging the door closed behind me and pushing my jacket back off my shoulders.

I let it fall to the ground before taking her hand and leading her to the couch.

I sat down and pulled her onto my lap, my hands trailing up her thighs under her short robe, our lips meeting in a hot kiss.

"Later," she giggled, pushing my hands away.

"Really? You're going to wear that, and wind me up, and flirt and then make me wait?" I smirked and she nodded.

"First, we're going to take a bubble bath, and then I'm going to give you the best massage ever," she smiled, getting up off my lap and dragging me to the bathroom by my hand as I tried to resist.

"We aren't both going to fit in the tub," I argued weakly as she continued to drag me.

"We're both little, of course we will, now strip," she laughed and I sighed, rolling my eyes as I pulled my shirt over my head and threw it aside.

I pulled off my pants and boxers and dived into the tub so enthusiastically that water went everywhere. The water was the perfect temperature and I did feel relaxed by it, maybe Jenna had a point about me being stressed.

Jenna smirked and let her robe fall to the floor before getting into the tub beside me much more gracefully than I did.

"Seriously, can we just... go in the bedroom?" I mumbled against her neck as my hands trailed over her body.

"Mmm, later, I want to get you nice and relaxed," she smiled, sitting on my lap. I rested my chin on her shoulder and my arms around her waist.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. I let my eyes close and just appreciated the moment.

I became so relaxed I was barely even aware of Jenna shifting so she was facing me. I only really noticed when her legs wrapped around my waist and her lips touched mine.

"I love you," she smiled.

I stared into her deep brown eyes and felt my heart skip a beat.

"I love you too, more than anything," I smiled, my lips gently brushing against hers.

"Let's just forget there's a world outside and have the best night ever OK?"

"I already am," I mumbled against her lips as I let myself forget about everything other than that moment.