Forever's Not Supposed to End

5 months later.

*Matthew's point of view

June 22nd - 18.36 PM - Chicago*

As much as Hayley and I had talked about getting married in the last few months, it was almost like time had started to pass faster than usual. Every time we mentioned it, something got in the way. First her dad went insane over us not being married before the baby was born. He was just afraid I would leave them.

Then my dad wanted us married before the baby was born.

Then Hayley decided she didn't want to get married until after the baby was born. I didn't mind. I knew it would happen eventually, in our own time, I understood both sides.

Paramore met a messy end, declaring a 'hiatus of indeterminate length'. Josh and Zac Farro split around four months ago in a blaze of public mud-slinging, and there had been silence ever since. Jeremy and Taylor were still in touch, I had a feeling they were hoping that after having the baby, Hayley would be willing to give it all another go.

I knew that was what she wanted.

You could see it in her eyes.

All she wanted to do was to be on stage, and I knew nothing would stop her.

We'd set up a small home in a two-bedroom apartment. We'd planned to get a house, but it was just another thing we ran out of time to do. I was too tired to be moving all the time, so we'd settled in our modest apartment that Hayley had started renting not long after my 'accident'.

Nathan and Jenna lived just a few blocks away. Still crazy in love. Still saw them almost every single day.

I'd seen Nathan today, but it was something of a strange meeting. We met at the cemetery, our dad and two sisters too. We each brought a single flower for mom. The anniversary of her death was tomorrow, but we never visited on the day. Always the day before. Today I took her a white rose, roses were always her favourite.

Nathan had been quiet, but this was becoming normal for him. He'd not quite returned to his original self after what had happened almost a year ago. Not yet anyway. I was still hopeful.

I sighed heavily and stood up from the couch. I hadn't been doing anything really, just... sitting. Gathering my thoughts. My stomach vaguely suggested hunger, but the heat of the summer day made it hard to tell what it really wanted.

"Matthew?" Hayley called from the bathroom.

"Darling?" I responded, in the creepiest English accent I could manage on such short notice.

"Stop being a creeper and get in here," she said, half laughing.

I opened the door and peeked around.

Hayley was leaning against the basin, dressed in a pair of my old soccer shorts, and a vest. Loose strands of her hair were wet against the back of her neck, the rest was tied in a high pony. She'd taken a cold bath. She was struggling to stay cool in the heat, and the apartment didn't have A/C.

"Put your hand here," she looked up at me, taking my hand and placing it low on her stomach. Her bump was exceptionally small for someone who was almost a whole nine-months pregnant, but in the last few days it had really grown.

I held my hand still and felt.

"Nothing?" I said, slightly confused at what I was trying to feel.

"Nothing all day, I'm getting worried," she sighed.

"Don't be worried," I wrapped her up in a hug.

"There's hardly any room to move in there, I'm sure there's nothing wrong," I reassured her.

"But I really think -" Hayley stopped speaking abruptly and her whole body seemed to tense up.

I could feel the baby kicking like crazy where her belly was pressed against mine where I was holding her.

A sharp intake of breath.

"Matthew. I think... I think we need to go to the hospital," stuttered Hayley.

My heart skipped a beat.

"OK what do we need? Your bag is in the bedroom, car seat in the baby's room, uh... uh... shit.. um... help?" I stammered uselessly.

I wasn't prepared.

"Just all of it, bag, baby seat, my bathrobe and slippers, and bring yourself a snack," she called after me as I hurried from the room and started gathering things hurriedly.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and send a mangled text message to Nathan.

Baby. Now. kjaksnvgkjabf. Hospital.

I hoped he could make sense of it.

I grabbed Hayley's bag she had set to take to the hospital, a couple of loose random objects laying around that I thought we might need, and Hayley's bathrobe from the back of our bedroom door and ran downstairs, stuffing it all into the back of Hayley's car. My car had broken down weeks ago, but I didn't see the point fixing it when it was 100degrees every day and such a junker that it was likely to break again after two days.

I raced back upstairs. Head and heart pounding. For the first time in months I was able to push aside the pain in my head and focus on what was happening.

Hayley was perched awkwardly on the edge of the coffee table.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

She nodded, then shook her head, then nodded again.

"I.. I'm not sure," she mumbled.

"Just keep nice and calm, everything is good," I smiled, kissing her cheek softly.

"I'm kinda scared," she whispered.

"I'd be more worried if you weren't," I nodded, taking her hands and helping her to stand up carefully.

She whimpered and rested both hands on her lower belly, wincing in pain.

"Come on, let's go whenever you're ready," I said, trying to hide the tremble in my voice.

I locked the apartment door behind us and helped Hayley walk slowly down the two flights of stairs to the car, then carefully lowered her into the passenger seat.

The drive to the hospital was a complete blur. Hayley and I hardly spoke, but we exchanged glances. My hand would find her knee and give it a reassuring squeeze occasionally, but that was about it. It was almost like we were both too afraid of showing our fear and letting the other person down.

Before I knew what was happening we were in a sparkling clean, air conditioned hospital room, a doctor talking to Hayley.

I didn't even remember parking the car, let alone driving here.

"Can I get you anything?" I offered.

Hayley opened her mouth to speak but the female doctor cut her off.

"Only water and ice chips from now on I'm afraid, this is the real deal!" said the doctor excitedly.

"Water or ice chips?" I offered and Hayley smirked.

"Both."

"Both? Now that's just greedy..." I laughed and the doctor smiled. I'd forgotten her name. We'd met her a million times. She'd been the one doing all of the ultrasounds, all the check-ups. Everything. In the stress of it all, her name had just slipped my mind.

Shaking slightly, I sank into a chair beside the bed that Hayley was sitting on. Her legs were dangling over the side, swinging back and forth slightly.

It was almost half an hour before I remembered to go and find her some water.

"I'm so sorry, I just got so nervous, and I was thinking, and I just forgot," I sighed, handing her the cold bottle of water.

"No problem, I didn't really want any, It was more just a distraction," she said with a small smile.

She slowly swung her legs up and around and lay down on the bed flat on her back.

"You were kinda zoned out, but the doctor said she's going to come back soon, and that I'm meant to just relax until then. Then she's going to examine me, and fit a monitor around my belly to keep track of the baby's heartbeat and everything," she explained.

I just nodded slightly.

I felt disconnected.

I was too scared to feel any excitement.

We'd known all along that the baby was small, and that there were possible complications because of the car accident Hayley had been in, but it didn't seem real.

My phone started to vibrate in my pocket.

"Hello?"

"Hey, where are you guys? I'm in the lobby." It was Nathan. He sounded out of breath.

Hayley tensed up and gripped my free hand tightly, I stroked the back of her hand with my thumb.

"I don't know the room number, just head upstairs and find the baby part thing and we're somewhere," I said uselessly.

"Thanks. Real helpful."

Nathan hung up on me and I crammed my phone back in my pocket.

Hayley dug her short nails into the back of my hand as she gripped it. I smoothed her hair off her forehead and kissed it gently.

After a few more seconds she loosened her grip on my hand and I sat down on the edge of the bed beside her.

"Does it really hurt?" I asked, unable to stop myself.

"No, but its right at the beginning, it isn't going to get any easier," she mumbled.

I looked into her eyes and I could see a huge range of emotions. From fear to excitement and love.

The doctor came back and checked Hayley over, listened to her heart, listened to the baby's heart, hooked her up to a whole bunch of machines. Told us this was likely to take a while, so to get settled and comfortable.

Nathan found us eventually. He just checked in, stayed for maybe an hour before he left, he said he'd stay nearby but that he didn't want to ruin our time alone together.

It was around 10pm that I could tell Hayley was in real discomfort. Each contraction hit and she'd tense momentarily before realising that wouldn't help her and forcing herself to relax and breathe, gritting her teeth slightly.

At 11pm Nathan re-appeared. He'd showered and changed clothes, and Jenna was with him.

They stayed and chatted maybe another hour or two.

I didn't take any of it in.

All I could focus on was Hayley and the baby's heartbeats up on the display.

"Matthew it hurts," she whimpered, curling into a ball in the middle of the bed, the first tears running down her face.

"I know, I'm sorry," I said, trying to sound sympathetic.

I did all that I could do for her, but I hated seeing her like this.

One-AM hit and Hayley's dad arrived, having received my garbled phone call from the car and driving up from Nashville in record time.

He was the friendliest he'd ever been to me. I think it was because he knew that he didn't want to stress Hayley out any more than she already was.

"It's too damn hot in here," she whined, tugging at her shirt and turning the A/C down again. It was already at minimum, and the room was becoming unbearably cold. I shivered in my tee-shirt.

"Let me go and see if I can sort you something out for that honey," said her dad, standing up and leaving the room.

He returned a moment later with a plain blue hooded sweatshirt that still had its tags on, from the gift shop. He handed it to me and I nodded and swallowed hard, removing the tags with trembling fingers and pulling it over my head.

"Thank you," I mumbled. My voice had faded a long time ago.

"You're welcome. Honey they're going to move you into a different room now, where you can stay a bit cooler, if that's alright?" he offered, pushing Hayley's messy hair back off her forehead.

She nodded and sat up, legs hanging off the side of the bed again.

Within half an hour we were in a room a few doors down. The room had a large tub in one corner, and I immediately started to fill it with cold water for Hayley.

"Can you find my swimsuit in my bag of stuff?" she asked me, her voice full of frustration.

"Sure," I nodded, kissing her forehead and going to find the swimsuit.

I brought the two-piece back to her and she looked up at her father and I expectantly.

"We'll come back in when you yell," he smiled, and we left the room together to let her change in privacy.

"I'm a mess," I found myself revealing once we reached the corridor.

"I can tell. Just stop being so afraid. Think positive, this is one of the biggest moments of your life, you need to look back on it with no regrets," he said wisely.

I nodded and ran my hands through my sweaty hair. My left fingertips traced the scar on the side of my head. Almost one year since I had met Hayley and she'd saved my life by slowly helping me put the pieces back together. Now it was my turn to be there for her when she needed me most.

We must have stood in silence for a few minutes because the next thing I heard was Hayley calling my name.

I opened the door slowly and peeked around.

To see her from behind you wouldn't have even known she was pregnant. Her figure hadn't changed at all. Her legs were still the same slender shape, even the view of her waist from behind was small.

She turned around and I couldn't help but laugh.

"My dad can't see me like this," she laughed, her bikini top was now far too small where her breasts had doubled in size.

"You want my shirt?" I offered and she shook her head.

"Can you get him to leave? I just want to be by ourselves," she said and I nodded.

Hayley's dad was understanding, and told me to call him immediately with any news and that he'd be at the hotel across the street. I assumed that was where Nathan was.

I helped Hayley slowly climb into the water. I hadn't run it cold, I'd gone for lukewarm so that she didn't get too cold. She leaned back against the corner of the square tub and exhaled slowly, closing her eyes and allowing her head to droop backwards. She reached up and untied her red hair, letting it fall loose around her shoulders.

I stripped to my boxers and climbed into the tub too, gently helping her to move forwards so I could sit behind her and hold her in my arms.

I finally felt involved.

***

After four hours in the tub it was time to get out. My skin was shrivelled to the point where I was worried it would never be normal again, and my heart was racing from the nerves.

Nathan had dropped in again and upon realising I had no dry underwear had heroically gone to the bathroom to remove his own and allow me to wear it. Kind of gross. I didn't care.

"Just breathe, nice and slowly, in and out," I said as calmly as I could.

Hayley was having a really hard time, but she was so determined to have no pain relief that she was doing her best to deal with it.

She was pacing the room wearing a hospital gown, tears streaming down her face, hair dripping slightly where the ends were damp from the bath.

She cried out and dropped back down onto the bed, hands gripping the sheets, teeth gritted, eyes screwed closed.

"Take it easy, just relax," I soothed.

"THAT'S SO EASY FOR YOU TO SAY!" she yelled out in frustration.

"You know, it isn't. I can see how terrible this is for you, and feeling helpless isn't nice. I'm doing the best I can, and I know you are, you just need to do your best to stay relaxed and calm. Try some gas and air?" I offered.

Hayley slumped back against the pillows and shook her head.

We were silent for around a minute until her next contraction hit and she lunged for the gas and air I was offering her. I helped her with it and she seemed to instantly relax a lot more.

"It's good stuff right?" I smiled and she nodded, sucking down as much as she could fit into her lungs.

She let out a small giggle and I took the mouthpiece and placed it on the side of the bed.

"Not all at once," I smiled and she pouted. The gas was making her a little loopy.

At six AM a weary looking Nathan arrived again.

"Still no baby?" he asked and I made a shushing sound.

Hayley seemed as if she was falling asleep, and I knew she would need all of her strength, so I was happy to let her sleep for now.

"No, but the doctor said the last time she checked that we're getting close, and Hayley's said she feels like she needs to push, so, soon I hope," I said and he pulled a face.

"How do they check?" he asked.

I sighed.

"I'm not explaining this to you. What are you, twelve years old? Come on, be an adult," I sighed and he laughed quietly.

"I'm kidding. She's doing so awesome," he said, smiling at Hayley's sleeping form.

"She is," I nodded, kissing her forehead gently.

Her eyelids fluttered.

"Nathan get out I'm too tired to deal with your goofballing around right now," she mumbled and Nathan laughed.

"Alright, I'm gone," he said, retreating from the room. He had probably set up camp in the waiting room, nervously waiting for any news.

"How you doing?" I asked Hayley softly and she looked up at me.

"Good. I feel like I need to get going on this," she said. She still sounded so tired.

I hit the button to call the doctor back in and took Hayley's hand.

"I love you," I smiled and she grinned.

"I love you too," I leaned down and kissed her lips gently.

***

Everything started to happen really fast. The doctor agreed Hayley was ready to start pushing, before I knew what was going on there were two nurses in the room too.

Hayley was completely focused on what she was doing, and obviously in a hell of a lot of pain.

I could see her hold her breath, bite her lip, anything to try and not let out the scream she was holding back.

"Let it go, don't hold back," I encouraged and she cried out in pain, holding my hand so tightly I thought it would break.

"You're almost there, you're doing so well," I smiled, wiping the sweat off her forehead for her and helping her take a sip of water.

"I'm so tired," she panted.

"I know, but you're really close, then you can sleep all day if you want to," I promised and she took another breath of the gas she had been relying on to get her through the pain.

Six AM passed and Hayley continued to have a hard time. I did everything I could to encourage her, help her, let her know I was there for her.

"OK, mom, dad, one more good push and baby's coming if you want to watch," said the doctor quickly, I placed my hand on the back of her neck and helped Hayley hold her head up and we watched our child enter the world.

Hayley burst into tears, I burst into tears, the doctor placed the newborn up on Hayley's chest, drying the child with a towel.

"It's a girl!" she announced and I started to cry harder. I couldn't control myself. I kissed Hayley's forehead, my hand meeting hers on our daughters back. She was crying too, a strange, almost kind of squawking sound, taking quick, gasping breaths.

"A little girl, we got a girl," whispered Hayley, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"My two girls, I love you both so much," I spluttered through my tears.

"She's amazing," mumbled Hayley, softly touching the childs head.

Her eyes opened and she looked up at us, her crying stopped and she just stared at each of us in turn.

"She got your eyes," Hayley told me.

"And your everything else," I smiled, almost afraid to touch the fragile baby.

We fell into silent awe, when I realised I should go and get Nathan.

I hurried to get him and brought him back to the room.

He started, wide-eyed at the baby.

"It's a girl," I mumbled to him.

"She's beautiful, but so small," he smiled.

One of the nurses gently took the baby from Hayley to weigh her.

"Born 6.29am, June 23rd, baby girl, weighs 5pounds and 8ounces," she called out, wrapping the baby in a blanket and handing her to me.

I smiled down at her for just a moment before handing her to Nathan.

He looked taken-aback but he took her from me and stared down at her intently.

"Her eyes are incredible, they're exactly like ours," he smiled.

"I know, pretty amazing," I grinned, taking Hayley's hand in mine. I leaned down to kiss her again.

"I love you so much, we're going to be an amazing little family," I told her.

"I know, and I love you too Matthew," she smiled up at me. Nathan handed her back the baby and snapped a picture of us with his cellphone.

It wasn't long before Hayley was fast asleep and I gently took our baby from her arms, who was also asleep.

I looked down at the two of them sleeping peacefully, and I just felt like the luckiest man in the world.