I'm a Walking Travesty

Present...
It's Saturday morning and the first thing I wake up to is the smell of smoke coming from behind the closed bedroom door. I quickly got out of bed, bolted out of Cassadee's room and into the kitchen, only to find my best guy friend at the stove.
"What the fuck Alex?!"
"I was only trying to make you some yummy pancakes."
I walked over to Alex, took the pan from his hand, and dumped it into the sink after turning off the stove. I turned back to him and sighed. "Alexander William Gaskarth, how many times have I told you to stay away from a stove?"
He sighed and pouted. "A million times."
"And it still hasn't sunk in how bad of a cook you are?" I sighed. "I seriously don't know what Jack sees in you."
Alex smiled and stuck his tongue out at me. "It's because I'm a pro at sucking dick and I'm an excellent lover under the sheets."
I rolled my eyes and walked over to the living room to open a window for the smoke to go out.
"So why are you here and where's Cass?" I asked as I made my way to the sofa.
I turned on the TV and changed it to some early morning news. Alex made his way over to the living room and plopped down beside me, resting his head on my shoulder.
"She went on a coffee date with that Rian guy and I stopped by to see if you wanted to go shopping."
"I have laundry to do before I go to work in the afternoon. I don't have time?"
Alex pouted. "Awh come on best friend, hang out with me. You can do laundry after work."
I looked at him and groaned. "Ugh ok fine."
He smiled and hugged me tight. "Yay, now go take a shower and get pretty because right now you smell like shit and that outfit is just not working for me."
"These are pjs asshole."
"Well honey, we're getting you some much cuter ones."
I smiled and shook my head as I got off the sofa and headed towards my room. After about thirty minutes, I was finally showered and dressed for my outing with Alex. I walked into the living room and found him laid face down on the sofa. I walked over to him, I slapped his ass.
"Don't you fall asleep Gaskank. You nearly burnt down the apartment just to get me too go shopping with you so now we're going."
He stood up and rubbed his ass. "Bitch that hurt. You took too long to get ready. Can't blame me for wanting to take a little snooze."
"This coming from the guy that takes about two hours on his hair, bitch please."
He rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Alright you win. Let's go."
I giggled and nodded. We headed out to his parked Audi outside after I locked up the apartment and left a note in case Cassadee came back and wondered where I was.
"So what are you planning on getting from the mall?" I asked as Alex drove out of the parking lot and into the busy street.
He shrugged without taking his eyes off the road. "Not much, just a pair of new kicks really."
"Shoes? Dude don't you and Jack combined have a like a gazillion pairs?"
"Oh no. One can never have too many shoes sweetheart. They are a must have."
"Freak."
"Oh fuck you."
"Alexander, I didn't know you rolled both ways."
"Bitch don't get excited. I'm strickly dickly."
I couldn't help but laugh along with him. I remember meeting Alex and his husband, Jack Barakat, at one of Cassadee's birthday parties. I'm not gonna lie, I totally had the hots for Gaskarth when we first met but once I found out he was married, and gay, that just went away. We ended up becoming best friends though which wasn't so bad. In a way, we have a brother/sister bond. We pick on each other constantly and always enjoy each other's company. He's the closet thing I have to a Martin in a way. Alex has no idea about my brother or my past in general. None of my new friends due. The fear of them finding out and then looking at me different is just horrible to even imagine.
Before I knew it, we finally arrived at the mall. We ended up parking not to far from one of the many entrances which was pretty lucky for us on a Saturday when the mall usually gets packed. Just as we walked in, I felt a poke on my shoulder.
I looked over at the brunette Brit beside me.
"What?"
"You ok? You were pretty quiet the whole trip here. That's not like you."
I blushed at how much of a mindless zombie I must've looked like. "I'm fine."
"Liar."
"Oh shut up."
Typical Alex. He had the power, no the gift, to read a person like an open book. It was one of the things I hated about him but still loved in a way.
"So what have you been up to missy?"
I shrugged. "Work, cleaning, school, and looking for a life."
"Still? I thought you would've gotten one of those by now."
"Same here but you know how shitty my luck is."
He chuckled. "It's not shitty, you club nugget. You got an awesome best friend like me, don't you?"
I giggled. "I repeat, shitty luck."
Alex just smiled and shook his head. "Anyway, have a boyfriend yet?"
"Nope and I don't think I'll ever get one. I'm destined to be forever alone."
"You are such a drama queen I swear. You just gotta lose the tude and boom all the men will come crawling to you."
"I'm not really digging the sound of that."
"Just try it."
I shook my head. "No thanks."
He just sighed in defeat and didn't question any further. We soon bought his shoes, plus five other pairs along with new pjs like he promised, and headed home. Alex kissed me on the cheek goodbye after dropping me off and heading home to his beau. I checked my phone and noticed that my shift at the diner, a few blocks down, started in twenty minutes. I quickly rushed up to the apartment, threw my new pjs on my bed, and quickly got dressed in my uniform. White collared button up shirt with a black skirt. Hated it but not much I could do. I grabbed my black flats and quickly put them on as a rushed out the door and down the street. Words could not describe how relieved I was when when I made it through that door with a minute to spare.
I made my way to the back for my apron when I overheard my co-worker, Faith, congradulate me. "Way to go Jase! That's a new record girl!"
I giggled, tying the small little waitress apron around my waist. "Thanks doll!"
I made sure my notepad and pen were in its place along with napkins and straws before walking out into the somewhat busy diner. I tended to a few customers here and there but nothing too big. This lasted til nine in the afternoon, when my nine hour shift ended. I said goodbye to my co-workers and finally headed home. Once there, I changed out of my work clothes and threw them in the hamper with the clothes I was planning on washing in just a bit. Thankfully there was a washeteria across the street that was open twenty-fur hours. I changed into some sweat pants and baggy shirt and carried my hamper across the street. The place was empty. No surprise really, no one usually came at this hour.
I took up about three machines to do everything at once. It gave me time to just
lounge around a table top and study for an exam I was planning on taking in two days. Just as I was reading up on the Roman mythology, the bell to the front door of the laundry mat rang. I looked up from my book and saw man walk in. He had shaggyish brown hair, wore a white t-shirt, outlining his very muscular torso, and black basketball shorts. I couldn't really get a good look at his face. He seemed too preoccupied with his clothing to even notice my existence. Eh, used to it. I tried to go back to reading my textbook but failed miserably. My eyes kept looking over at him. I felt like an absolute creeper! He soon left and relieved me of my curiousity.
"Fucking A! I seriously need go get a life."
I soon packed up everything I had with me and headed home.