This Fragile Game

Pat sat in the far back of the small van the band used for transportation from venue to venue. His hands drummed against his bouncing knee as he stared out the window at the unchanging scenery. Next to him sat his best friend, Kennedy.

Pat glanced over to Kennedy blushing slightly as he noticed the older boy was sleeping, his mouth slightly open as soft snores escaped his thin pink lips. Pat quickly looked away focusing on the hundreds of miles of Arizona desert.

The seats in front of him where occupied by his band mates John O’Callaghan and Garrett Nickelsen, while the very front of the bus sat Jared and his older brother Tim at the wheel. Sighing loudly Pat unraveled his iPod and placed the small buds in his ears. He pressed play and listened to the sounds of Third Eye Blind. He began to drum his fingers again, tapping his toes along to the beat as he began to day dream about the man sitting next to him.

Pat slowly turned to Kennedy and smiled softly, to say he wasn’t inspired by that man would be an understatement. Everything Kennedy did was just fascinating to Pat even when others didn’t think so. Kennedy began to stir and threw an arm over Pat’s lap causing the youngest boy to blush madly. He picked up Kennedy’s arm and paced it back on Kennedy’s chest, but it simply fell back onto Pat’s lap.

Kennedy continued to stir, flipping himself over so that he was on Pat’s lap his warm breath hitting Pat’s neck. Pat shuddered and tried to push the bigger man off him, but Pat hardly had any muscle and couldn’t even move him an inch.

Finally giving up Pat just relaxed under Kennedy ad closed his eyes; evening out his breathing he softly listened to the sounds filling the van. The way Kennedy snores, the way John is always typing away on his phone. The sounds of Garrett as he hummed along to his music, the sound of the radio softly playing as Tim drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he held a quiet conversation with Jared.

Pat got use to paying attention to ever sound surrounding him. He’s been insomniac since he entered his first year of high school. Always being the first one to “wake” and the last one to go to “sleep”. He never told anyone about this, he always pretended to be asleep.

“Pattycakes?” Kennedy mumbled. Pat opened his eyes and looked down at his best friend. “I ended up on you again.” He chuckled picking himself off Pat’s lap and sitting upright.

Pat nodded softly and turned shifted his body so he was completely facing his best friend, “its ok.” Pat said softly tracing patterns on the soft seats of the van. “I’m use to it.”

Kennedy stared at his best friend, noticing the way his long brown hair fell into his dark eyes.
The way he always had this distant look clouding his eyes, the way he wasn’t as hyper as he use to be. “Pat are you ok?” Kennedy asked taking his hand in his and stroking it softly.

“of course.” Par whispered not daring to make eye contact with the other man. “So uh, when do we get to the next venue?” Pat asked finally glancing up to Kennedy.

“Jared!” Kenny called. “Are we there yet?”

“We have like a few more hours,” Jared said. “Does Pat have to pee?” he asked on second thought.

“Now that you mention it, yes.” Pat giggled curling into a small ball.

John grumbled something under his breath before turning around to face Pat, “No more soda for you.” He said pointing his finger at the smallest band member.

“I agree.” Garrett mumbled not taking his eyes off his iPod.

Pat looked over to Kennedy and smiled widely as Tim got off on the next exit pulling into a small rest stop. Pat quickly jumped over Kennedy and ran into the empty bathroom doing his business washing his hands and walking back out. He skipped toward his small group of friends before throwing himself on Kennedy’s back clinging his legs around his waist,

“Piggy back ride?” he asked like a child.

“Sure thing.” Kennedy said hoisting his friend up and walking around the rest stop, getting a few odd looks from random people stopping by. They were halfway across the rest stop when they heard Tim calling for them to come back.

“I don’t want to go back.” Pat sighed cuddling his face in Kennedy’s neck.

“We have to, sorry Patty cakes.” Kennedy apologized squeezing the smaller boy’s legs a bit for reassurance. “When we get to the venue and you could take a small nap, I noticed you hardly sleep now a day.” Kennedy added reaching the van and placing Pat on the ground.

Pat shuffled a bit kicking his feet softly as he held his hand behind his back, “I do.” Pat whispered.

“Get in you guys.” John called from his spot on the van. Kennedy gestured to the doors and
Pat sighed before getting in and crawling over all the seats to get to his. He plopped onto his seat and curled into a small ball bringing his knees to his chest.

“Let’s hurry and get there, I’m tired.” Jared said taking the wheel this time as Kennedy sat next to Pat. Pat watched as Kennedy began to text his girlfriend, smiling all the while.

Pat was sure his heart just broke at that moment.