Nightmare City

I sat on my white bed in my plain room, staring at nothing. Just how had I ended up in this situation? It was so hard to remember, and what I could recall was a jumble of random thoughts and feelings. I couldn’t even put it all together coherently enough to think about.

I needed something to do. Something to keep me busy until my thoughts organized themselves. Ciel visited my room frequently, so I was able to express my desire for work.

His mouth twisted a little, doubt furrowing his young brow. “I guess you could help us with the patients.” he said uncertainly.

“I feel fine.” I insisted. “Better than fine, I’m not hurt anywhere.” I spread my arms out, as if to show him I was without injury.

“It’s not just that though. I don’t know how you’re going to be around humans. They give us our food, so you absolutely can not hurt them, or else they won’t come back.”

Now it was my turn to be confused. “How do you get food from them without hurting them?”

“Farming.” Ciel answered simply. “I can show you, if you like.”

We exited the room and I was grateful to leave it and it’s blandness behind. Ciel took me to an elevator and we headed down. I stared around the inside of the elevator, highly perplexed. “I know that this is an elevator,” I said, running my hand along the mirrored wall. “But I can’t remember ever seeing one before now.”

“It’s your memory still. You’ll get some of it back.”

“But how much?”

“I wish I knew.”

I studied the pair of us in the mirror. We wore similar suits. Mine in blue and Ciel’s in black. We were the same height, but Ciel was slightly thinner in the cheeks. His blue eye not hidden under his hair contrasted my deep red eyes. Our suits were done in an old Victorian style, with shorts instead of pants.

The elevator doors opened and there was Anais. She wore a pale blue dress, that was more ruffles and lace than satin. She wore long white gloves on her fingers and shiny black Mary Janes. A small, pale blue top hat was attached to the side of her head due to the clever use of bobby pins. “Ciel, what are you doing?” she asked.

“Our new friend is interested in what we do around here.” Ciel replied. “I thought I would show him around the clinic.”

Her expression turned worried. “Do you think that is wise? The patients are very fragile.”

Faced with the thought of going back to my dull room I dropped down to one knee graciously, taking the girl’s gloved hand in my own. I looked up into her eyes imploringly. “I vow to be on my best behavior around your patients.”

She stared at me in shock for a moment, then turned her eyes to the side. “I suppose it’s all right, but only if you watch him, Ciel.”

I looked over at the boy, who was positively glaring at me. He walked over to us and pulled our hands apart. “Anais is not to be charmed by you.” he announced.

I stood up. “I was only expressing my sincerity.” I assured him. “I have no intentions towards your sister.” I looked down at myself. “Especially like this.”

Ciel held onto Anais’ hand firmly. “Anais is not my sister.” he said firmly. “She is my wife.”

It was my turn to be surprised. “My apologies, again. You look so similar I just assumed...”

Anais put a hand on her husband’s shoulder. “Ciel, calm down. You’ll upset the patients if they see you like this.”

Ciel relaxed immediately. “I’m sorry, Anais, you know how jealous I get.”

She reached up and straightened his tie. “Yes, yes, I am all too familiar with your emotional outbursts. My shift is done now and it’s your turn. Go and do your job.”

He put both hands on her shoulders and kissed her forehead gently. “I will do my best, and I will take care to keep an eye on our new friend around the patients.”

“I know you will.” She pulled away from him and stepped into the still open elevator. Ciel and I exited. The silver colored doors slid closed and Anais was gone.

“I apologize for my outburst.” Ciel said to me, biting his lower lip, one fang peeking out.

“I apologize for over stepping myself.” I replied.

The boy’s face cleared. “Then we are even.” I nodded. “Good, well, let me show you around.”

“What exactly is a Birthing Clinic?” I asked was we made our way down the hall.

“A Birthing Clinic is a place where women go to have their babies. Doctor Smythe employs a full staff of midwives to assist mothers-to-be with their most important deliveries.”

Now I was confused. “Wait, small humans are born in hospitals, I’m pretty sure I knew that already.” We paused in front of a Nurse’s Station. The women behind the counter smiled radiantly at Ciel and let us pass.

“Most infants are born in hospitals, yes.” Ciel wrinkled his nose. “Hospitals are dismal, functional places. We offer a more natural and caring environment to help assist with natural birth.”

The hall we were walking through certainly did look cheery. The walls were painted pale coral and the floors were plushly carpeted. The entire right wall was glass, showing the stunning cityscape outside.

I shivered unconsciously as I looked at the skyline, glad it was night.

The walls were decorated with large prints of kittens and puppies, as well as bulletin boards jammed with photos of infants.

“This is the Maternity Ward, where new mothers and their children rest after birth.” Ciel explained. “The actual birthing rooms are downstairs.”

“So, what is it that you and Anais do, exactly?” I asked.

“We make the Mothers comfortable, in any way that we can.” He smiled. “I’ll show you.”

He took my hand in his and led me into one of the rooms. Inside was a single bed, a bassinet, a huge picture window, a rocking chair, a large flat screen television, and a desk with a lamp and laptop. A nurse was in the process of helping the woman in the bed to her feet. In the bassinet was a pink, fleshy bundle wrapped up tightly in blankets.

“Good evening Mrs. Avery.” Ciel said warmly. “Are you headed for your bath?”

The nurse nodded. “I was just helping her, Ciel. Look after the little one while we’re in the bathroom please.”

“Oh no.” the woman said faintly, obviously exhausted. “They’re too young, can we get another nurse?”

“Mrs. Avery.” the nurse scolded lightly. “Ciel knows exactly what he’s doing. Look at you, you haven’t slept, you must be exhausted.”

“I just want to make sure... he’s so small, anything could happen to him...”

“Nothing will happen to your child, Mrs. Avery.” Ciel swore, hand on his chest. “I promise to look after and protect him while you have your bath.”

The woman looked at him a moment, then sagged against the nurse in defeat. “All right then.” The nurse led her to a door next to the desk.

When they were gone, Ciel walked over to the bassinet and peered inside. He smiled warmly at the bundle. “You’re so big and chubby. You’ll grow up very strong.” The bundle squirmed a little and Ciel lifted it up out of the bassinet, cradling it tenderly. He sat in the chair and rocked slowly.

He looked over at me and smiled. “You still seem confused.”

“Well, yes.” I admitted. “This is your job? Looking after newborns? Why?”

“The humans give us our food.” Ciel said simply.

My eyebrows pressed together. “Then, you feed on the children.”

Ciel shook his head. “No never. The mothers give us our food.”

“So, you feed on the mothers?”

“Again, no.”

“Then I’m extremely confused. Where does your, our, food come from?”

Ciel looked back down at the baby in his arms. “We collect the amniotic fluids expelled during childbirth.” he answered simply. “It tastes awful, but it’s superior to blood in many ways. It’s rich in nutrients and even has stem cells. It helps our bodies regenerate faster, move swifter, and become much stronger.”

“This is also why you and Anais resemble children?” I guessed.

“You as well. It was the only thing I fed you while you healed, and is probably why you’re still standing there now.”

“So, all of this, this whole place, just to collected amniotic fluid? How many births do you get a night?”

Ciel smiled proudly. “Over a dozen. Enough to keep Anais and I healthy for a very long time.”

“What about the doctor?” I asked. “He can’t be young like you two.”

“Doctor Smythe drinks pig’s blood, and sparingly at that. It gives him an older appearance, much more trustworthy for a doctor. He sells his share of the fluids to other vampires. He also makes a good deal of money with the clinic. Food isn’t everything, you know.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “That is true, I suppose. I guess you have an interesting setup going on here.”

“And you’re a part of it, while you work to regain your memories.” Ciel stood up and walked over to me. He stepped very close and held the tiny human out. “Here, hold him.”

I looked down at the child, who was back to sleep. I dropped my arms to my sides. “No, I’ll drop him or something.”

“The doctor insists that you do work while you’re staying here.” Ciel reminded me. “You won’t drop him. Here, I’ll help you.”

Soon the infant was in my arms. Ciel’s hands hovered under my elbows as I cradled the child against my chest. “Oh hey, you’ve done this before.” he said cheerfully.

“Have I?” I asked, my voice hollow. I could feel a stirring in the corners of my mind. A flutter of wings against a birdcage’s door.

This was familiar. I had done this before, held a tiny life in my arms ever so gently. The nervousness sprang up in my chest and a voice echoed in my head. “Of course you’re not going to drop him... He’s your son...”

“Lucien...” I whispered softly.

“Close, his name is Luke.” Ciel said.

“I remember.” I said, looking up. “I remember my son.”

Ciel smiled broadly. “That’s excellent!” he exclaimed. “Do you remember anything else? How old is he? Where is he now?”

I shook my head. “The rest is jumbled and confusing. Like everything is trying to come at me at once. All I know is that something is wrong with him. We’ve grown apart, almost worlds away...”

Ciel put a hand on my shoulder. “The rest will come back to you.” he assured me for what felt like the millionth time.

“I hope so. There’s something I know I have to get back to, but I don’t know what that is. I keep feeling that I have to hurry, because time’s going to run out.”

********

After Ciel’s shift was done, he took me to Dr. Smythe’s office. He tapped on the door lightly and was immediately answered with a gruff “Come in”.

Gregory Smythe looked exactly like my impression of what a Senior Doctor would look like. He was thin and his pale skin was wrinkled, but not sagging. His hair was white and he was balding at the top. His eyes were stone gray and surprisingly alert behind a pair of black rimmed glasses. He wore a trim black suit, whose style was much more modern than Ciel’s, over which he wore a long white lab coat.

“This is our guest, then?” he asked, scrutinizing me carefully from behind his huge black walnut desk.

“He doesn’t remember his name, or I would introduce you properly.” Ciel explained. “I showed him around Ward 1 and he’s expressed interest in the work.” The boy smiled at me briefly before turning back to the doctor. “Also, we discovered he has experience with infants.”

Dr. Smythe bridged his fingers together over his paperwork. “That is all right with me, then.” He looked over at me. “Ciel has told me of your rather extensive memory loss. With your permission, I would like to run a few tests, to see if we can uncover the mind’s secrets.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to get my memory back.” I told him.

“We can begin whenever you like, then.” The doctor looked back down at his paperwork, picking up his pen.

“Well, what are you doing right now?”

Dr. Smythe set his pen down and looked back at me for a moment. He stood up and straightened his lab coat. “Right this way.”

********
I looked into the tub of water doubtfully. “What is this?”

“It’s a Sensory Deprivation Tank.” Ciel explained. “The water is filtered and distilled, so it shouldn’t hurt you.”

“How is this supposed to help me regain my memories?”

“By blocking out all external distractions, we focus the mind inwards.” Dr. Smythe said gravely.

“It’s very relaxing for the mothers.” Ciel smiled at me. “You can change into your shorts behind that curtain.” He pointed towards the other end of the room.

I stepped behind the curtain and disrobed. After I pulled on a set of black swim trunks I took a second to inspect my new body. My skin was pale of course, and I was on the thin side, but I was dismayed by how little shape I had. My arms and legs were soft sticks dangling from my flat torso. I had no definition, no musculature. This body was not right for me at all. I would have to switch to pig’s blood like Dr. Smythe, but then I ran the risk of looking aged as him. Wasn’t there a happy medium?

“Are you all right?” Ciel asked, stepping towards the curtain.

“I’m ready.” I pulled back the curtain, dodging his question.

Dr. Smythe levelled his stony eyes on me, his expression dour. “Before we begin I must warn you that the things you might see or hear inside of the chamber are not real. Once the mind is starved of external stimulus, it begins to create it’s own. You will peer into the depths of your unconsciousness, and you may not like what you find there.”

“If you want to get out, we won’t hear you.” Ciel explained. “So I’m going to open the tank after fifteen minutes no matter what.

I nodded, understanding. “I’m ready for anything my brain can give me. Ever since I woke up I’ve felt like I’m trapped in the desert, now I just want to see something on the horizon.”

“As long as it’s not a mirage...” Dr. Smythe said ominously.

Ciel helped me up into the tank. I lay on my back and the purified water just covered my ears, leaving my face dry. The water made my skin tingle, but did not burn. Ciel slid the heavy cover easily into place and darkness fell over me.

********

“You’re terrible at this.”

“I am not. I’m hitting all the notes perfectly.” I stared at the screen in rapt concentration, watching the colored disks fly down their rows towards me, hitting the corresponding keys on my guitar-shaped controller.

“You lack style. You just stand there all stiff. You’re supposed to be having fun.”

“I have to watch the screen! There’s like, fifty notes a second coming at me.”

“Then stop playing on ‘insane’.”

I glanced at her sourly, but there was no one standing next to me. The mike stand was set up, but no one stood at it.

I wasn’t startled, I didn’t look around for her. I just went back to playing, not even noticing that no one was with me.

She was singing, terribly but with feeling. Perhaps the most dangerous combination in a singer. It reminded me of a much different voice, from a long long time ago. Different sounding, but with that same feeling. A feeling I had wanted so much to preserve, but had only succeeded in making things worse.

I shut that door before it could open fully, shutting the memories behind it. Ancient history wasn’t important now. I needed to remember what I had to get back to.

I sat across the table from an empty seat. A mug sat in the center. I poured a little something into it from the bottle in my hand. “Lucien told me today... that he has a human wife.”

Why was it that whenever the world started to make sense to me, it went and turned itself right on it’s ear? Was it a concentrated effort by fate, or was it all coincidence?

“What are you doing?”

“I’m de-buckshotting you.”

“Stop it, I’ll take care of the rest.” Why did she always fuss over me? She acted like if she took her eyes off me, I’d be dead in a week.

Who? Who felt this way?

There was no one on the floor next to where I lay on the couch. The tweezers lay on the coffee table, untouched.

No one. There was no one there.

No annoying voice in my ear, no awful nagging to put up with. No one to carry out of a mausoleum in the dead of night. No one to complain about my driving. No one to assault me with their weak, useless, sobbing.

No one to care if I get hit with a pound of silver buckshot. No one to cover me with a blanket to protect me from the sun when I was so weak I could barely move. No one to give a crap long enough to infiltrate an entire building of vampires in order to rescue me from my estranged wife.

No one was in front of me, blocking my way. No one was behind me, constantly following me around. No one was beside me, with a shoulder to lean on and a silver revolver in hand.

I was alone.

********

When Ciel cracked the chamber open and peered in at me, I stared up at him, tears leaking from the corners of my eyes. “Are you all right? What’s wrong!?” He reached into the tank and pulled me up by my shoulders.

“I don’t remember.” I gasped, hating how small and weak my voice sounded. “I can’t remember.” I clutched blindly at Ciel. When was the last time I had cried like this? I couldn’t recall that, either.

“Calm him down and bring him, Ciel.” Dr. Smythe said. “It’s time he had an MRI.”