Don't Go

Oliver

Me and Jamie arrived at school, extremely tired, but proud of our work. We met up with Matt before class and ate breakfast in the cafe.

"If I'm being honest, you guys look awful." he laughed as we slumped over the table.

"I feel like shit." Jamie said.

I nodded in agreement and finished off my bagel as the bell rang.

"Well I'll see you later, Oli. Nice seeing you again, Jamie!" Matt said and waved us off.

I walked Jamie to her first class. Mine was right next door. We stopped just outside the doors awkwardly. Jamie looked at the ground and I glanced curiously at her face. It was red and her eyes were sad. I'd never seen this sullen look on her face before. I'd actually never seen this look on anyone's face before. It broke my heart.

"Are you okay, love?" I asked her, lifting her chin.

A smile quickly appeared on her lips and the redness in her cheeks was gone, but that ominous look still remained in her eyes.

"I'm fine. I'm just really tired. I'll see you in chemistry, yeah?"

"Yeah." I whispered to the empty hall.

Something was wrong. I wanted to ask her, but I didn't want to pry. I don't think we were far enough along in our friendship to ask such things. I pushed the thought aside and decided to ignore it.

She'd tell someone if something was wrong, right? Surely her best friend would help her...

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During chemistry, it took all I had not to start shaking the girl and screaming at her to tell me what was wrong. She hadn't spoken much at all. It was very unlike her. So I pried a little.

"What are you doing after school today?"

She turned slowly to me. A flash of light hit her blue eyes and bounced for just a second, then it was gone.

"Um nothing."

And she looked back down at her notes, scribbling a few words and hesitating for a moment. I struggled to find a reply, so I continued to watch her shift nervously in her seat.

"Why did you ask?" she said, finally, and turned to meet my gaze. I jumped a little, forgetting I was staring and quickly asked her if she wanted to hang out at my house.

"If you're too tired though, you don't have to come. I just enjoyed having you around yesterday, and Tom definitely likes hanging out with you, and you can meet my friends and they'll love you, of course, and---"

She held up her hand, laughing, and nodded her head. I let out a sigh of relief and also began laughing after I realized I was rambling for so long. Her laughter was so contagious. It was like hearing music for the first time and instantly falling in love. She hates her laugh, but it's my favorite thing about her.

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Jamie

I was nervous to be around Oliver outside of school, and even more so now that I knew some of his friends would be there. What if they didn't like me? What if they thought I was too smart? or too loud? or annoying?

Or worse....what if they asked about my friends? I'd never be able to live the humiliation down. They'd laugh at me. They'd taunt me.

But I still agreed to go with him. God knows why. I'll just embarrass myself. I'll end up arguing with myself again and they'll think I'm a lunatic.

Everyone else does.

Shut up.

Roll your sleeves up so everyone can see just how much of a failure you really are.

Shut. Up.

Why don't you show Oliver how much of a failure you are?

Stop.

You can't keep up this charade much longer.

Watch me.

Pathetic.

"I know I am."

"Know you are what?" Came Oliver's voice on my left side.

"Uuuh nothing. Nothing. I didn't say anything? You must be hearing stuff. Silly bird." I said quickly and gathered my things.

Oliver gave me a strange look, but grabbed his bag and followed me out of the classroom. I smiled weakly at him and tried to focus on what he was telling me, but the voice wouldn't stop. It was suffocating me again.

These secrets will kill us.