Gotta Be You

Harry started to lock himself in his room the moment they got back from the signing and the interview in Brighton. He sat down in one corner of his room and held his cell phone with both hands. He wanted to call her so badly, but he didn’t know the words he’s supposed to say to her. He might end up prank calling her or not saying anything at all.

‘Good heavens.’ He whispered to himself, standing up.. ‘Uhh hello Avery. I just called to, you know. Be friend you?’ he said to himself, rehearsing. He made a face and groaned. ‘Damn it. That’s not even close to a good conversation.’

‘Uhm. Hello, this is Harry. I just, can we be friends again?’ He sighed. ‘Mother of. Pretzels. Why can’t we be friends...’ he trailed off. Then he jumped. ‘Why can’t we be friends, why can’t we be friends.’ He sang, singing to the song of Smashmouth.

He smiled. He knew what he’s going to do. Since he can’t hae the guts to actually say something, he’s going to sing those words. When words fail, music speaks. And that’s exactly what he’s going to do. He dialled the number and waited for it in total statue motion. He could hear his heartbeat with the silence. He can still ehar it with the beeping sound of the phone. God, am I doing? He thought as he clutched his chest with a fist.

The more the phone rang, the more he got nervous. When he was about to click the end button because he couldn’t stand the anxiety, she picked up. ‘Hello?’

Harry recoiled; just the sound of her voice is already making her jump. The familiar voice made him feel so nostalgic that he could barely hold onto the phone that he was holding. His palms started to moist and the phone was sliding centimetre by centimetre.

‘Hello?’ she repeated, with more articulation this time, like the person on the other line didn’t hear her. ‘This isn’t funny.’

‘Uhh..’ Harry stated, with a deep breath. ‘Why can’t we be friends, why can’t we be friends, why can’t we be friends,’ he sang, somehow out of tune because of his voice shaking non-stop. ‘I haven’t seen ya, I seen ya, I seen ya ‘round for a long, long, time. I really, I really----‘

‘Harry?’ she cut him off.

Harry paused singing. ‘Yea?’

‘Shut up.’

Harry laughed and she laughed along with him as well. It was like they were best friends again. They used to laugh about little things all the time. Sometimes they would even laugh until their stomach’s get hurt and soon, they could feel the six-abs creeping through their gut. They would cry because of too much happiness and just keep on doing that until they fall asleep on the phone, together.

Harry knew she felt the same way too, because it was the same laugh they shared a long time ago. He didn’t know how something so beautiful could end up so bitter. He missed this feeling. He missed her.

‘Does this mean we’re friends now?’ Harry asked in desperation. ‘I mean, like friends, talking to each other. Normal?’ he added, nervously. He’s barely standing straight as he twitched awkwardly, nervous.

Avery had a hard time laughing, but she was able to though and she immediately replied. ‘Since when were we not friends?’ she asked, ‘It was you who avoided me these past few months Edward, not me.’ She added, not a bit serious.

Harry flinched, ‘I didn’t avoid you. I just, maybe I was just busy.’ He told her, ‘And by the way, you’re the only one who calls me Edward now. Even Mum doesn’t call me Eddie or Edward. I guess she’s used to calling me Harry now, just like everybody else.’

Avery chuckled on the other line, ‘Do you want me to stop calling you Edward now then? I’m just used to calling you that. It’s like a childhood habit I can’t kill easily, you know.’

Harry’s cheeks started to burn. You’re a childhood habit I can’t get over too. He wanted to say, but he didn’t have the guts to. And he wasn’t the right position to say that. ‘I get what you mean Avery.’ He managed to squeak out.

‘Harry. I just want you to know that I never stopped being your friend. I think you did.’ She said, a bit sad, obvious with her face. ‘I hope you knew that.’

Harry smiled, beaming. ‘I didn’t, but I do now.’ He said, genuinely happy after a long time. ‘Sorry for everything, if I hurt you. I want you to know I didn’t mean it. Maybe, I was just really busy you know. And, I’m glad you’re still my friend.’

‘Harry I---‘ she paused. ‘I have to go; someone’s calling on the other line. Thanks Edward. See you soon!’

But before Harry can say anything else, she’s gone. ‘Goodnight Avery, thank you.’ He said anyways, pretending that she can hear him against reality.