Save your heart.

John sent me the two songs the following day and told me he would hand me a copy of Pioneer as soon as he could.
I spent the whole morning listening to both of the songs.

What if I'm not really showing John how I feel? I mean, I tell him I love him...but I don't know. I can be quite cold sometimes. No. Not cold, but quiet....I've never been the best with my mouth, I know that. Maybe that's why I remain silent sometimes, keeping it all to myself. Keeping my feelings to myself without putting them into words.

I took my car keys and drove to the tattoo parlor I visited with Garrett a month ago or so. I parked and got in.

"Hi. Can I help you?" the man in the counter said.

"Yeah. I'm here to get a tattoo."

"You don't say!" He joked, making me chuckle. "So, what do you want?"

"I want the phrase 'Straight to my heart' on the back of my neck."

"Okay, cool."

He drew a couple of sketches, I chose the one I liked the most and he started tattooing me.

"So, what's the meaning of it? Well, if you want to tell me, obviously." He asked.

"Well, my boyfriend is in a band, and he wrote a couple of songs for me, which are actually going to be on their next record. It's a lyric of one of the songs he wrote for me, and well, I said, why not? What a better way to show him I love him...right?"

"I hope he likes it."

"Me too."

"But...have you thought.."

"If something happens? Yeah. I won't regret it. I know I won't." I couldn't tell him why, it was too personal. But how can I regret a tattoo that is dedicated to John? I really hope nothing bad happens to our relationship, but if so, he still saved me. He got me out of all the shit I was going through. Well, not shit, but you get me. If it wasn't for him I don't know where I'd be.

When I was done, I went back home. Garrett was there.

"Hey. Where's Dakota?"

"Oh, hey Jess. She went out. We ran out of cereal."

How funny that he was eating cereal. How funny the only one that eats cereal in that house is me. How funny that Garrett said "we ran out of cereal". Altogether made me chuckle.

"So, what are you doing?"

"Just eating some cereal." he said.

"Oh, really."

He shrugged his shoulders and kept eating.

I took of my jacket and Garrett noticed something in my back.

"Hey, what do you have there?"

"Oh, yeah..." I grabbed the orange juice from the freezer and sat in the sofa, right by Garrett's side. "I got a tattoo." I took a sip of my juice.

"Of what? Let me see."

I turned so he could see.

"Straight to my heart...mhhhm...wait, that's.." He didn't finish the sentence.

"Yeah..."

"When are you gonna show John?"

"Don't know..." I shrugged my shoulders. "...probably tomorrow."

"Cool."

"Do you think he'll like it?"

"Yeah, I think he will. I've never seen him love anybody the way he loves you, to be honest. So, yeah."

But what if he didn't think I was the one? What if he though I was one more in his way of finding his true love...

I shook those thoughts out of my mind. He loved me. Yes, he did. Just as much as I loved him. I shouldn't have doubts about these things. No.

I watched Friends with Garrett until Dakota came back. We had dinner together and Garrett spent the night at our house.

I texted John. We were meeting at one of the parks he took me before, for lunch next day at 1pm. I was taking the food.