Save your heart.

Almost a month had gone by and my life was not as bad as it was when my parents died - although in that moment, it felt like it was going to be. I was trying to focus on the good things and not so much on the bad things. I tried not to think about John and about what we had. Don't get me wrong, it was not a pleasure to live after the break up, I hated it. I cried for days, but eventually, after a couple of weeks, I started to move on. I had recently started to be happier. But comparing to the happiness John gave me, this happiness was crap.

I came home from work -I recently got a call for an interview from a famous shoe brand, which turned out really good- and Dakota was already at home. She probably was happier now that I contributed on paying the bills.

"Hey." I said as I walked in.

"Oh, hey Jessie." The look on her face scared me a bit.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, really...just...Garrett sent me two copies of Pioneer. And, you know...one's for you." She said. It took me by surprise.

"Hm, okay...can I have mine?" I said, confused.

"Sure. They are over there."

I grabbed mine, excused myself and walked upstairs. I locked myself in my room and played the album. After some songs, which some, made me tear a little, When I'm at home started to play. Listening to John's voice without bringing memories back was difficult, but it was way more difficult while that song he wrote for me started playing. I burst into tears and thanked God, Buddha and Allah I couldn't see the tattoo in my back very often because of its position. It was just so hard. And that's the moment I realized, I was not over John. Not in the slightest.

After the Sena crossed my face, I took a shower and went downstairs. Dakota wasn't there. She probably heard me cry and wanted to leave me alone. And she did the right thing. Dakota was the one who was there any time, every time. Dakota was like a sister to me.

I was watching TV when the phone rang.

"Hello?" I said.

"What's up Jess!?"

"Oh my God, Garrett! How is it going?" Hearing his voice cheered me up.

"It's going great, we just landed in the US. South America was crazy!"

"I bet it was. I'm so happy to hear from you!"

"Sure you do" he laughed "so, where's Dakota?" I got distracted and didn't hear his question. I heard John's voice in background, instead. "Jessie? Jess? Helloooooo?" I heard Garrett moving away from where John was. I wanted to tell him to go back there and to tell John I loved him, and that I missed him, but I just couldn't. Not after what he did that night. He didn't even call me. "Jess, are you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry Garrett, I was just...thinking. What where you saying?"

"Right, thinking. You can't fool me. But, anyway, where's Dakota?"

"I don't know...I was in my room when she left. I'll tell her to call you back."

"Alright. See you in three weeks!" He was talking about the concert.

"Garrett...I'm not sure if I-..."

"You should come! I'm really good looking and you can see me play bass on stage."

"I have seen enough of your good looks." I said chuckling.

"See you in three weeks, then! Bye!

He hung up before I could say anything.