I'll Let You Live.

Luckily the hotel was only a few blocks away so I gathered a small bag and followed the guys out once we parked.

Lee offered to get all our keys so we waited in the lobby for him as he ran off.

I could feel Oli's eyes on me as I sat down on the floor leaning against the wall. I tried not to notice and closed my eyes hoping that would make it better but all I could think about was his lips on mine.

Once Lee returned he called my name causing me to open my eyes. He dangled a key in front of me and I thanked him as I grabbed it and got up quickly. I went to grab my bag but before I could Oliver's hand reached it.

"I got it." He said and I looked up at him. He gave me a grin before picking up my bag and I followed him to the elevator.

"Gonna come hang out wif us?" Tom asked sliding his arm around my waist.

"I haven't seen you all day." I stated.

"I know. Propa sorrah." He said kissing my cheek.

"I would but I'm exhausted I hung out with Max today."

"And yeh survived?"

I giggled, "Yeah he's cool."

He smiled as we reached the floor our rooms were on.

"Well I'm right here." Tom said as we reached the first room.

I chuckled, "well have fun."

He nodded, "sweet dreams love." He said pecking my lips before he went into his room.

If he only knew I had been kissing his brother. I was horrible...

Oli was waiting on me leaned against my door, my bag in his hand.

I ignored him and put the key into the door. Once I unlocked it he pushed it open letting me in first.

He sat on the bed and looked over at me.

"I'm sorrah bout earlia." He said softly as he ran his hand through his hair, "I juss, it, I mean, it juss has been a long time since I kissed yeh and I couldn't help it." He fumbled out.

And I nodded causing him to look down at his hands. I walked over to him and he looked up at me. I couldn't help what happened next. I kissed him pushing him back onto the bed and his arms went around me. It was his fault this was happening. His fault that he was so cute and perfect.

I straddled his waist as we kept kissing and he ran his hand up my side gently.

"Why do yeh make everyfing so much difficult?" He asked flipping us over so he was hovering over me.

"What do you mean?"

"Yeh tell meh yeh don't want us ta do this anymore but yet here we are." He said kissing down my jaw.

"It's your fault."

"My fault?" He asked laughing.

"Yes."

"I fink it's cause we bof can't say no ta each otha." He said kissing down my neck.

"so your fault."

"Maybeh so cause I can't stop now." He whispered running his hand under my shirt and I closed my eyes taking in his touch.

He was right and I definitely didn't want him to stop.

He held me to him as the silence filled the room. His hand running over my arm lightly as he placed gentle kisses on my collar bone.

"I know yeh hate this." He whispered and I opened my eyes to look at him.

"Huh?"

"Us. Yeh hate this." He said seriously.

I bit my lip and he sighed, "I know yeh do."

"I mean, I hate the circumstances. Yes."

"I can't give yeh what yeh want Lexi. Yeh know that right?"

I just stared at him a bit confused.

He breathed in an ran his hand into his hair.

"Yes, we can have sex and I can cuddle wif yeh aftawards but I know that isn't what yeh want and yeh deserve so much more and I can't give yeh that." He said and I sat up holding the blanket around me.

"You don't know what I want." I said softly and he sat up quickly, "Yes I do. And yeh have every right ta want it."

I just stared at him and he brushed my hair behind my ear giving me a weak grin.

"And yeh can have that wif Tom." He said and my eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"Have what?!"

"A relationship Alexis! I can't give that to yeh but Tom can. That's why this can't happen 'gain cause yeh need ta give him a shot. He's what yeh rellah want not this fucked up shit we have created." He said pulling his hand from me and quickly getting up from the bed and pulling his jeans on.

"I don't like Tom." I stated watching him look for his shirt.

"Yeh will. Give him a chance."

I was angry and hurt at this moment and I didn't know what was worse, him admitting that we would be nothing or him pushing me off on Tom.

"Just go." I mumbled feeling myself wanting to cry.

He stared at me as if he wasn't sure if I meant what I said.

"Go?" He asked like I said it in a foreign language.

"Isn't that what you were doing anyways?"

"No. I was goin' ta smoke." he mumbled.

"You should just go."

"Yeh want meh ta go?" He asked as if he was deaf.

"Oliver! I think that's what I'm saying!" I said getting a bit aggravated with him.

He sighed and grabbed up his shoes and bag before walking out the door slamming it behind him. Not even two seconds after he left I began to cry. Crying because I was beyond stupid for thinking that this had a future and for thinking that he would change who he was for me.

I finally managed to shower and put on fresh clothes. I needed to talk to someone. Not Tom though. That would be awkward. I think. I don't know.

I slipped out to my room and decided to find Matty. This was his fault afterall.

I knocked on the door across from me and Jona opened it shortly after.

"Oh. Do you know what room Matty's in?"

"He's actuallah in here. Wanna come in?"

"No. Just tell him to come here."

He nodded and went in yelling for Matt who appeared a few moments later.

"Hi." He said out of breath.

"What were you doing?" I asked with an raised eyebrow.

"I was arm wrestlin' Lee! He's a strong lil fing!"

I busted out laughing and he stepped out into the hall closing the door behind him.

"What's tha matta?"

"I hate you is the matter."

He narrowed his eyes at me as if to say he didn't understand.

"All that shit you said about Oli on the bus." I said now pacing the hall.

"Ok what about it?"

"It's bullshit."

"Um, how would yeh know?"

"Because I stupidly, regretfully just slept with him and he proceeded to tell me!" I said feeling my eyes water again.

"Wait. What?" He asked as he grabbed my arm.

"Yeah. He said, I just can't give you what you want Alexis. Tom can. You should just be with Tom." I said mimicking Oli.

"No he did not..."

"Uh I was there. Yes he did."

"Where is he?"

"I told him to leave. I assume in his own room."

"Did yeh tell him yeh don't like Tom?"

I nodded as I wiped my eyes.

He sighed, "come here Lex." He said opening his arms and I stepped into him letting his arms wrap around me.

"It's gonna be ok. I'm gonna talk ta him." He whispered.

"No. I don't care anymore. Maybe this is for the best. Maybe now I can really move on." I said more to myself than him.

"But yeh don't want to."

"Of course I don't but I have no choice. I wanna go home." I said into his shirt.

"Oh come on Lex. Don't give up so easily."

"Well I'm sick of feeling like this."

"I know love. Don't worry. I'll take care of it."

"Rightt. Do you know Oli? He's the most stubborn person ever."

"Yeah but he loves yeh."

I shook my head not wanting to hear anymore.

"I'm going to go to bed." I said softly andhe sighed, "Ok. It's gonna be ok Lexi."

I nodded and he kissed my forehead, "goodnight."

"Matt..."

He looked back at me and I spoke, "should I tell Tom?"

"Yeh aren't togetha so I mean it's up ta yeh."

I nodded and he gave me a weak grin.

"Hey Matty?"

He chuckled, "Yes?"

"Thank you."

"No problem sweetie." He said giving me a look before he went back into his room and I back to mine.

When I walked in I was overwhelmed with the smell of Oliver. I couldn't bare to sleep in here now knowing what had taken place.

I sighed and leaned against the door. I would just tell Tom what happened and pray he let me sleep in his room. Once I gathered up the nerve I grabbed my key and walked next door to Tom's room. I knocked lightly wondering if he was already asleep and if so I was screwed. Somewhere in my thought his door opened and he stood there in just his boxers and sleepy eyes.

"Did I wake you?" I asked feeling worse now.

"Nah. I was juss dosin' off. What's up?" He asked opening the door to let me in.

I breathed in as he closed the door and I just spilled everything without hesitation, "I slept with Oli. That's why I can't be in a relationship because I love him and I don't want to be and I tried to get over him but I can't but oh, don't worry he told me that he can't give me a relationship and that it would never happen again because I needed someone like you not him." I said pacing his floor as I tried to hold in my tears.

"And I'm sorry because I do like you. I'm not lying about that it's just, I love Oliver and i'm sorry." I said wiping my eyes and he stepped to me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

"I fought I already was aware of that? I mean, did yeh fink I believed yeh when yeh said yeh were ova it?" He asked and I shrugged feeling worse.

He sighed, "it's ok."

"It's not. I just feel like a shitty person."

He grinned, "why? Yeh did nuffin wrong. We're not togetha."

"Still, I just dont do things like this."

He chuckled and I spoke, "dont laugh at me."

"I can' help it. Yeh juss a sweet bird." He said and I sighed, "stop it."

He cupped my face, "Alexis. I know yeh love him. I get it. I do. Yeh unda no pressure here. So what? I like yeh. It's not the end of tha world and Im not sayin lets run away and get married."

A weak grin hit my lips and he spoke once more, "I know yeh like meh. I know yeh didn't lie. Let's juss take this one step at a time ok?"

I nodded and he kissed my forehead gently. Why must he be so understanding?

"Now stop freakin' out and let's sleep." He said softly and I nodded as he pulled me to his bed.

"I hate how calm you are." I mumbled climbing into his bed causing him to laugh, "well what do yeh expect? I'm no Oli rememba."

this time I was really thankful for that.

"Do you hate me?" I asked as he got comfortable beside me and the silence filled the room.

"Why would I hate yeh Lex?" He asked softly.

"I don't know because I don't want you to think I'm leading you on or using you."

"Well yeh kind of are usin' me but I fought that was tha plan." He said and I chuckled, "you know what I mean."

"I know. And no. I don't fink eitha of those fings. Lex i've known yeh foreva I know how yeh are and I know yeh aren't tha type. Yeh have a too big of a heart for that."He said before kissing my forehead.

"Ok."

"Get some sleep sweetie." He whispered as he laid onto his pillow. I sighed feeling as if a weight was taken off my shoulders which I was thankful for. At least I had one less thing to worry about.