I'll Let You Live.

I woke up the next morning to Tom lightly shaking me.

"Come on Lexi, we gotta leave soon." He whispered and I groaned as I sat up rubbing my eyes.

"Yeh propa cute when yeh sleep." He said and I felt my cheeks redden, "am not."

"Yes yeh are." He said with a grin as he pulled on a shirt.

"I guess I need to go get my stuff."

"Mhm possibly." He teased and I laughed softly as I got off his bed.

"Meet yeh in tha hall?"

I nodded with a grin before leaving his room. Once I was changed and ready to go I walked out with my bag just as everyone else was.

"Hey cutie." Matty said slinging his arm over my shoulders.

"Hey sexy." I joked.

"I knew yeh felt that way." He said causing me to laugh.

"What are yeh plans ta day?"

"I'm in need for some serious Max time." I said and he laughed, "damn that bad?"

I nodded as we reached the elevator were Tom and the others were standing.

"Well it's only a 3 houa drive ta our next place."

"Good." I mumbled as we all got onto the elevator. Oliver was staring at his shoes as he stood beside me uncomfortably. I didn't care though. This truly wasn't my fault.

As the elevator doors opened and we walked into the lobby I appened to hear a familiar laugh fill my ears and I looked around to see Max chatting with someone from his band.

I was too happy to see him. Probably because he was the distraction I knew would work.

"Well, well look at these blokes." Matt said loudly causing them to turn and face us.

"Lexi bear!" Max said running over and picking me up like we haven't seen each other in weeks when in reality we've known each other for maybe 48 hours.

I laughed and he placed me on my feet.

"You should ride with us. Dan got this cool new game." He said excitedly and I chuckled, "sure."

"Yesss." He said grabbing me once again.

"stealin' yeh bird for tha ride." He said to Oli who was still awkwardly beside me.

He shrugged as if he didn't care and Matt looked over from his conversation with Chris.

"Oye! What yeh doin' ta my mate!" He asked grabbing my arm before Max could pull me away.

"She wants to come with me." Max said defensively as I began to laugh.

"I know she does. She's been talkin' bout yeh all mornin'."

"Really?" Max asked with a smile and Matt and I both laughed, "Yes now come on loverboy." I stated pulling him as far from Oli as I could.

"I knew you would fancy me." Max said confidently as he swung my hand as we walked to his bus.

I laughed, "you're fun. Sue me."

"So are you. We are destined to be like, best mates."

I laughed as he pulled me onto the bus. It was a total different atmosphere than the Bring Me The Horizon bus. It was lively and bright and odd really for nothing but boys.

"I kidnapped a bird!" Max yelled causing Josh and Matt to turn around and look at us from where they were playing video games.

A smile hit Josh's lips, "yeah I see that."

"Oye I think she's obsessed wif us!" Matt joked and Josh chuckled, "I thought so as well, but she didn't show up to our set yesterday. Broke my heart." He said placing his hand on his chest.

"Awe you looked for me?" I said with a smile as I sat down in the floor with him.

"Course." He said nudging me smiling.

"So what are we playing?" I asked and Matt laughed, "Halo. Probably too complicated for you. No offense."

"What? Are you serious? Jona is the king of video games. I can kill you with my eyes closed."

He stifled a laugh, "prove it."

"Josh." I said holding out my hand and he chuckled as he placed the controller in my hand.

For the next three hours I played against all of them and ended up beating everyone but Dan who apparently was as obsessed just like Jona.

"Well, 4 out of 5 ain't bad." I said with a grin as I handed Josh the controller.

"Why have I never met a girl like you? Marry me." Dan said seriously causing all of us to start laughing.

"Cause those Bring Me The Horizon blokes have kept her to themselves!" Max said loudly and i laughed from beside him.

"Yeah how do you know them?" Josh asked.

"Oli, Tom and I grew up together."

"But you're a yank..."

"I've known them since I was 14. Better?"

Max nodded and I laughed, "so yeah."

"Oh well that explains a lot."

"Like what?"

"Like how they are always with you!"

I laughed, "oh I guess so."

"Mostly Tom huh?"

"He's the cool one." I said with a smile causing Chris to laugh, "Yeah but still doesn't stop Oli from keeping an eye on you."

"What do you mean?"

"Meaning if you're in eye distance he's constantly checking on you."

"Is not."

"Yes he bloody is. When you were running around with Max he didn't leave the area simply because he was watching you." Chris stated.

"And were you watching him?" I teased and Josh snickered between us.

"He was bloody sitting beside me!" He said defensively and I laughed as I felt the bus come to a stop.

"I believe we have arrived." Dan said looking out the window.

"Yay!" Max said causing Josh to roll his eyes and me to laugh.

Of course we all followed Max out and I told them I was going to go back to the bmth bus and Max hugged me like he'd never see me again.

Once I walked into the bus a few of the guys were sitting around up front.

"Oh yeh decided to come back?" Lee teased and I smiled, "Yeahhh I missed you." I said patting his cheek.

"I'm sure." He smiled causing me to laugh.

"I need ta talk ta yeh." Matty whispered coming up behind me and wrapping his arms aroun me.

"I don't want to."

He chuckled, "to bloody bad."

I sighed and he began to pull me outside.

"What is it?" I asked once we were out in the hot bright weather.

"I talked ta Oli..."

"Great." I mumbled.

He leaned into me placing his hand on the bus behind me.

"Juss, don't give up on him Lexi." He said softly.

"Is that all you're going to tell me?"

"I can't reallah say what was said but can yeh juss listen ta meh for once? No matta what he says ta yeh, it isn't true. He's juss scared. I rellah fink thats tha big issue."

"Scared of what?"

"Scared ta be vulnerable Lexi."

I shrugged and he sighed, "Would yeh ratha jus be wifout him?"

"No." I whispered.

"Then truss meh on this. Oli's my bess mate. Juss don't give up yet."

I nodded and he kissed my cheek before backing up and grabbing my hand, leading me back onto the bus.

I sat next to Jona as I tried not to go into too much thought about Matty's words.

"Hey." I heard and looked over to see Tom with a grin on his face.

"Hi." I said with a small laugh.

"Yeh ok?"

I nodded and leaned closer to him.

"Yeh lyin'." He whispered wrapping his arms around me.

"How do you know?"

"I can juss tell wif how yeh actin'."

"Am I that bad at lying?"

He chuckled, "No I juss know yeh too well."

I leaned up at him and kissed his cheek.

"What was that for?" He asked softly.

I shrugged and he chuckled, "ok. Well I'm not complainin' or anyfing."

"Let's get outta here." He added and I nodded in agreement.

He got up and grabbed my hand.

"We're leavin'."

"So are we!" Lee said pushing Tom lightly as he walked ou the door.

We all left the bus minus Oli who I hadn't seen since we left the hotel and although I wanted to ask where he was I reframed.

While the crew set up the merch tent we all just walked around doing nothing but joking around and talking to whoever we ran in to.

"Where tha fuck is Oli?" Lee finally asked the question I was dying to know.

"Still asleep." Matty said which I really didn't believe because of the look he shot my way.

"He never sleeps this late..."

"Yeah I fink he isn't feelin' well."

I was not about to feel bad about something I didn't do. So what if I made him leave but he was stupid to think he could still stay after everything he said to me. Why would I be ok with that? I tuned everyone out as I stared at my shoes in thought.

"Hey..." Tom said nudging me and I looked up at him.

"Stop it."

"What?"

"Bein' like this."

"I can't help it." I mumbled.

He pulled me into his side, "then go talk to him."

"No."

"But yeh want to."

"No I really don't."

He sighed, "what do yeh want then?"

"I don't know." I whined and he chuckled as we came to a stop.

"Well..." he said with a grin as he brushed a strand of my hair back.

"I know yeh don't like bein' on tha outs wif him. Juss talk ta him so yeh don't have ta feel like this."

"No." I said softly and he brought his hand to my cheek.

"Alexis."

"Don't do that. What is up with everyone saying my full name when they're trying to be serious?!"

He chuckled and pulled me to him, "come on love. I'll walk back wif yeh."

"Why must you be so nice?"

He laughed, "I don't know."

I looked up at him and he leaned in pressing his lips to mine.

"Go." He whispered brushing my cheek gently.

"Can't I just stay here with you?" I asked grabbing his other hand and he grinned softly before kissing me again.

"Go sweetie."

I groaned, "Fineee."

He chuckled and I walked the short distance back to the bus.

I breathed in deeply before making myself go in.

Oli was sitting on the couch in just his jeans. His hair was a bit messy and he was staring aimlessly at the television that wasn't even on.

"Hi." I said softly causing him to jump.

"What are yeh doin' here?" He asked and I sat in the chair across from him.

"Checking on you. Are you feeling ok?"

"I'm bloody brill." He mumbled.

"Ok..."

"Anyfing else?" He asked looking over at me.

"Don't give me an attitude. I did nothing wrong."

"No. Yeh juss slept wif meh than kicked me out."

"Oh so since I was like you are with your slags i'm the bad person?"

He glared at me, "it's different and yeh know that."

"Oliver. Sorry if I didn't feel like being around you after you told me what you did!"

He stared at me an stood up quickly, "well what did yeh want meh ta do Alexis?! Lie to yeh?!"

"No but how could you think it would be ok to act like nothing was said?"

He laughed, "and I fought yeh weren't like otha birds."

"Really? I didn't think you were a girl but who knew you would get upset over something so stupid." I said defensively as I stood up to be face to face with him.

He glared at me and I was not going to back down.

"Fuck yeh." He mumbled and I just started laughing,"Mature."

"Well I guess we're on the same level now." He shot back.

"So what Oli? What? Do you just not even want to be friends? Do you want me to not even talk to you now?"

His eyes narrowed at me and he bit his lip as he tugged on his messy hair. I crossed my arms trying to keep myself together and not cry. I was too emotional some times.

"Of course I don't want that Lexi. I can't, be wifout yeh." He whispered.

"Then stop fighting with me all the time." I said as tears began to fall, "because it hurts my feelings."

His eyes softened and he spoke gently, "I didn't want that...but yeh hurt mine too Lex. Juss cause I don't show it like yeh, doesn't mean what yeh say doesn't get ta meh."

I sniffled and he stepped to me wrapping his arms around me in the process.

"I'm sorrah." He whispered into my hair as he held me to him, "i'm sorrah I keep hurtin' yeh. I don't want to."

"Forgive meh?" He asked brushing my cheek lightly.

I nodded. Of course I forgive him. What else did he really expect?

He kissed my cheek and kept his arms firmly around my waist.

"Yeh not stayin' wif Max and them now are yeh?"

"No. Max just wanted me to ride with them this morning."

He nodded and I spoke, "why?"

"Cause I want yeh here." He whispered, "I need yeh here."

And just like that he had me yet again.

Damn it...

"I mean, unless yeh wanna go, I'm not gonna stop yeh..." he said rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Of course I don't."

He gave me a weak grin, "Good."

"Get dressed." I said patting his chest and he shook his head, "I'd ratha not."

"Well what's bothering you?"

"Nuffin. I juss don't feel like doin' anyfing today. Juss wanna stay here by meh self."

I placed my hands on my hips staring at him not believing what he was saying which caused a chuckle to escape his mouth, "I swear. I'm fine. In fact, I'd like yeh ta stay wif meh."

"That's not really being alone."

"Yes it is. Yeh don't bug meh."

I laughed as he grabbed my hand, "so? Yeh wanna stay wif meh? Yeh got some cuddlin' ta make up for anyways."

I stared at him in debate. I really, really shouldn't and I knew that but saying no to him was impossible.

"I'm not watching Jurassic Park..."

He groaned, "Oh come on. Please." He said as he pulled me to his bed.

I shook my head and he picked me up sitting me in his bunk.

"Please? Juss one." He said using his puppy dog eyes and sticking his bottom lip out slightly.

I sighed, "Just one." See? Impossible. He smiled widely before crawling into with me.

"Yeh tha bess." He said pressing his lips to my temple before placing the stupid movie in.

He slid his arm around me as his serious look came onto his face. Well what I called his movie face. His eyebrows narrowed together and his lips would part slightly. It was hard not to tell him how cute he looked.

"This movie sucks." I stated and he rolled his eyes as he looked down at me, "does not."

"Does so."

"Well, what would yeh wanna watch? Somefin girly?"

"Oli, when have you known me to watch a girly movie?"

He chuckled, "well...neva..."

"Exactly."

"Well too bad. I'm not turnin' it off."

"Meanie."

He grinned and leaned down pressing his lips to my cheek bone.

"Shut up." He whispered and I rolled my eyes trying not to act like my heart was beating out of my chest.

"Yeh gonna end up fallin' asleep huh?" He asked thirty minutes into the movie.

"Possibly." I said looking up at him and he laughed.

I closed my eyes and I felt his lips on my forehead.

"It's ok." He whispered his fingers running into my hair.

"You know, if I like start moving around or talking in my sleep or snoring just push me or something."

He chuckled, "yeh do none of those fings. Yeh propa cute when yeh sleep."

"Funny. You're brother said the same thing." I said before I even had time to think it through. I winced and he pulled back, "how would he know?"

"I slept with him last night. Well, not like slept, slept but in the same bed."

"Why?" He asked seriously.

I shrugged not really wanting to talk about it.

"So yeh kicked me out and went to Tom's?"

"After I talked to Matty."

"Why did yeh talk ta him?"

"Can I not talk to people now?"

"No. I mean, it's juss a strange occurance of events."

I shrugged one more before placing my hands over my face.

"Matty told meh yeh were upset." He whispered.

I shrugged and he sighed before pulling at my hand.

"Not a big deal." I finally said as I locked eyes with him.

"Why were yeh upset? Cause of what I said?" He asked pressing his hand to my cheek.

"You're missing your movie."

He quickly leaned up and turned it off.

"I'm not talking about this."

"Yeh kind of already are."

"How yeh feel bout meh Lexi? Cause I didn't know that would have such an effect on yeh." He said seriously.

"I'm not talking about this." I said starting to crawl over him but he quickly grabbed me and pinned me to the bed.

"Answa my question." He said holding me down and I spoke quickly, "why? You never answer mine."

"No. I am not fightin' wif yeh Alexis. No. So yeh gonna tell me righ' now." He said sternly and i bit my lip, "just leave me alone. Let me go."

His eyes narrowed together as he released one of my arms bringing his hand to my face.

"Lexi..." he whispered and I closed my eyes tightly.

He brushed away my tears gently and rested himself on me.

"Hey..." he said softly his breath hitting my cheek.

"Can you just let me go?" I managed to get out.

"Is that what yeh reallah want?" He asked as I opened my eyes to come in contact with his lovely brown ones.

I bit my lip and he kissed my cheek, "tell meh what yeh want."

"Like you care."

"I do. I care bout everyfing involvin' yeh."

"Well, it doesn't matter because it's not what you want."

"How would yeh know?" He asked seriously.

"Exactly. I don't know anything because you never tell me so you're right. How would I know?!"

He sighed, "I'm sorrah."

"Yeh always are."

He winced and pulled back, "what does that mean?"

"Meaning you always are sorry. That's the only thing I ever get from you. You're sorry for hurting my feelings, you're sorry for being mean, you're sorry, sorry, sorry and I don't care anymore really."

"That's cause I can't eva say anyfing else Lexi!" He said loudly.

"That isn't my problem..."

"I say it cause I mean it. I don't apologize. Except ta yeh cause yeh mean so much ta meh." He said seriously.

"Yet you can't say anything else but sorry. Ever. Great." I said with a sigh.

He placed his hands on my face, "Alexis. I need yeh ok? I need yeh wif meh cause..." he said coming to a stop.

"Because, I juss, I need yeh. Yeh juss..." he fumbled uncomfortably, "can that not be enough?" He finally finished like it was torture for him to speak.

"I don't want it to be." I whispered.

"I can't give yeh more." He whispered with a sigh as he touched his forehead to mine, closing his eyes as his arms wrapped around me tightly.

I bit my lip trying not to cry. Then why did he keep putting me through this?

"Juss, let meh hold yeh." He whispered, "please."

I nodded as I felt my tears fall from my eyes. He brushed my hair back and kissed my forehead.

"Please stop cryin'. I can't handle it." He whispered kissing away my tears.

If my heart could break anymore it was at this moment. If anything he was being selfish. Could he not tell this was hurting me?

All I knew was I needed to get away as soon as possible.