I'll Let You Live.

"I want Tom." I said randomly and a hurt look crossed Oli's face.

"What?"

"Just, let me go." I said seriously and he moved off of me and out of his bunk.

I quickly got out, his eyes not leaving me. I didn't say anything just grabbed my cell phone slid my sunglasses on to cover my now red face and left the bus as fast as I could.

I walked until I reached their tent and Tom spotted me first as I headed over.

"Oh hey there yeh..." he started and before he could finish his sentence I swiftly wrapped my arms around him causing him to stumble back a bit.

"What's tha matta love?" He asked once he got his footing back and wrapped his arms around me.

"I hate him and I want to go home." I said into his shirt as I cried.

"Alexis, what happened?" He asked pulling me away so we had some privacy.

"I just wanna leave."

"Hey...baby..." he said lifting my head up so he could look at me.

"What happened?" He asked pushing my sunglasses back onto my head.

His eyes filled with sympathy and care and it made me question whether Oli had ever even looked like that.

His brushed my tears away gently and I sniffled, "he's just so closed up and then he tells me all this stuff knowing that I don't feel the same and I just...I needed you." I said into his shirt and he gently rubbed my back.

"I'm here love." He whispered letting me cry into his chest.

"Stop doin' this to yehself Lexi, I mean it." He added once the tears had subsided.

"It's hard."

"I know it is and it ticks me off how he is bein'."

"Not your fault..."

"I know. Juss frustrates meh cause yeh so sweet."

A weak grin hit my lips and he brushed my jaw with his fingers, "did he kiss yeh?"

I shook my head no and he pecked my lips.

"Juss, don't go anywhere wifout meh ok?"

I nodded because this time I most definitely wouldn't.

"Now. Stop bein sad..." he said brushing away the last of my tears, "we're gonna go watch you me at six." He added with a grin and I couldn't help but smile back. I knew he was just doing this to make me feel better and I appreciated it.

"Ok?" He asked holding out his hand for me.

"Ok." I responded as I placed my hand in his. He gave it a light squeeze and I looked up at him.

"Everyfing's gonna be fine love. Truss meh?" He asked softly and I nodded. He gave me a grin and kissed my hand.

"Come on love, before we're late."

Tom did a good job at keeping me busy the rest of the day. We watched every band we passed and he had me laughing so much my sides hurt. I wanted to go home on this note without Oli in my head and so I could be far away from him. If I could take Tom with me it would be even better.

"Hey Tom." I said as we walked back to the bus. The stars were already out and the crowd was disbursting from the area since the last show had ended.

"Hey Lexi." He said flashing me a smile.

"I wanna go home."

"Why?" He asked his smile fading.

"I just do."

He sighed, "I mean I can't stop yeh but I wish yeh'd stay..."

"Come home with me."

"I'd love to but I'm kind of here for business too."

I nodded and he pulled me to his side, "juss stay. I reallah want yeh to..."

"No pressure huh?" I teased and he laughed, "none what so eva."

I smiled, "I'll think about it."

"That's all I want."

He pulled me onto the bus and all the guys were hanging about playing video games.

"Go change and yeh can sleep wif meh." He said kissing my cheek before he dropped my hand. I passed Oli who's eyes had been on me since I walked in and tried my best to ignore him.

Once changed Tom met me by his bed and he gave me a gentle smile before we got in.

"I'm sorrah this is happenin'. I hate knowin' yeh feel so bad." He whispered playing with my hair.

"It's fine."

"It's not."

I smiled, "why do you care so much?"

"Cause I care bout yeh."

I gave him a grin and cuddled aganst him.

"Go ahead and say it."

"What?"

"Yeh so sweet." He said in a girly voice and I laughed, "fine. You're so sweet." I said kissing his jaw, "but I thought you didn't want me saying that anymore?"

"I fought bout it and it's ok if yeh say it. But only yeh."

"I feel, honored." I said with a laugh as I raised up to look at him. A smile hit his lips and he reached up and touched my cheek, "yeh know Lexi, if it would've been me yeh had fallen for, I would've caught yeh." He said softly his face now in a serious expression.

"I know." I whispered and he gave me a weak grin, "would've been too simple though huh?"

"Everything happens for a reason. At least, I think so."

He nodded, "I do too."

I leaned in and pressed my lips to his gently before laying down.

"Hey, I wasn't done." He said now hovering over me with a grin.

I giggled and he leaned closer until his lips touched mine.
Don't get me wrong. I liked kissing Tom, he was a good kisser but I just kept expecting those fireworks like I got when I kissed Oli and every time I was let down. That made it so much harder to let go.

The next morning I woke up before Tom. His arm hanging loosely over me which made it easier for me to get up without waking him.

I walked to the front only to be a bit taken off guard to see Oli sitting at the table since it was so early.

"What are you doing up?" I asked.

"Can't sleep." He mumbled.

"Have you been asleep?"

"No." He mumbled once more as he looked up from the cup of tea in front of him.

"Why?" I asked softly as I sat on the couch. Far enough from him but close enough to talk.

He shook his head and looked back down at his cup.

"I fuck everyfing up. I know this ok? I know. Yeh should juss go home Lexi. I know yeh want to and I don't blame yeh. Yeh can juss go home and forget bout meh." He said softly as he spun the spoon sitting in front of him around on the table.

I bit my lip debating on what to say but of course it just spilled out.

"Forget about you? I couldn't do that even if I tried." I said and his eyes shifted from the table to me.

"But yeh want to. Yeh should've a long time ago."

I gave him a weak grin, "stop being over dramatic Oli."

He sighed and placed his head onto the table, "I hate not bein ta yeh what yeh are ta meh. It's juss, yeh so put togetha and I'm juss a mess some times."

I got up and walked over sitting beside him in the small booth.

"No you're not." I whispered running my hand into his hair.

"Am so. Yeh know it too. Why yeh put up wif meh I don't know."

"Because you're my best mate." I said and that caused a chuckle from his lips.

I sighed and leaned against him, "go get some sleep Oli." I said rubbing his back and he picked up his head to look at me.

"Too much on meh mind." He mumbled.

"Like what?"

He shrugged and relaxed his head on his arms, his eyes staying on mine.

I sighed and brushed his hair from his face.

"Are yeh gonna go home?" He asked in a whisper as he closed his eyes.

"No, I don't think so."

"Ok." He said softly.

"Come on. Let's get you to bed." I said getting up from the seat and grabbing a hold on his arm.

He didn't object just let me drag him to his bunk.

Once he climbed in and laid down, pulling the cover over him he looked at me, "I hope yeh know how much I 'preciate yeh. I reallah do. Maybe I don't say it often but I do." He whispered.

"I know. I appreciate you to."

A sleepy grin hit his lips and I kissed his forehead, "get some sleep."

He nodded and closed his eyes. I walked back to the front sitting down with a sigh.

"Yeh propa sweet ta him." I heard and looked up to see Matty.

I shrugged and he leaned against the table.

"He's tryin Lex."

I stifled a laugh, "right. I don't care anymore honestly."

"So yeh givin' up?"

"On us? No. On having anything with him? Yes."

"So yeh gonna be wif Tom even though yeh love Oli?"

"I'll get over Oli..."

"I don't fink yeh stop lovin' someone like that."

I shrugged, "i'm not waiting on him."

"Why? He'd wait on yeh. In fact he is. He has been in his weird way."

"How?!"

"When's tha lass time yeh seen him wif anoth bird? And i'm not takin' bout a chat."

"Why are yeh on his side?"

He sighed and sat down at the table.

"Cause Lex, he tells me fings he doesn't tell yeh."

"Like what?"

"I can't tell yeh that."

"Well how can I agree that what he's telling you is worth waiting?"

"Cause it is, he cares bout yeh Lexi. A lot. Yeh fink he loses sleep ova tons of birds?"

I shrugged and he sighed, "tha boy loves yeh. Juss give him time. He's tryin. He is. It's juss hard for him. Yeh know that."

"So what? I just need to put my life on hold?"

"No. I'm not sayin that. I mean, we bof know yeh don wanna be wif Tom."

I shrugged and he gave me a grin, "right. Well, i'm goin' back ta bed. It's too bloody early."

"Ok." I said softly and once alone I tried to sort out my thoughts and fell miserably. I wanted to just go crawl into bed with Oli and before I knew it I was doing just that.

Horrible. I know.

"I was waitin' for yeh." He whispered placing his arm around me securely.

"Mhm."

He chuckled and kissed my neck.

"You need to sleep."

"I can now that I have yeh." He whispered causing me to regret laying with him.

"I feel betta when yeh wif meh. " He mumbled sleepily holding on to me in a tired manor.

"Weird, I know. it's juss, yeh complete meh Lexi. Yeh like my soulmate if those exist. I juss feel at home as long as yeh wif meh." He said softly and I know I stopped breathing.

"I know it sounds propa cheesy or what not but it's true. I dont get home sick when yeh go on tour wif meh. Cause reallah meh missin' home is meh missin' yeh."

"Well, you do basically live with me..." I said trying not to take this to heart like I wanted to.

"I Know. Juss can't stand bein' away from yeh."

"Weirdo." I joked and he chuckled, "do yeh not feel tha same?"

"Yeah..."

"So yeh a weirdo too?" He said with a grin.

"We already knew that."

He chuckled and kissed my cheek, "why we work well togetha I assume."

"Yeah."

He pulled me closer to him and sighed, "I'm so tired I can't sleep."

"Well you need to. You have a show today."

"I know." He mumbled as I traced his tattoos on his shoulder. He closed his eyes and I couldn't help but stare at him as my fingers traced over his collar bone. Before I knew it his breathing evened out and his arm loosened around me signaling that he was asleep.

I kissed his forehead before forcing myself from his arms.

I sighed and i leaned against the bunks closing my eyes in the process.

"He loves yeh Lexi." I heard and my eyes shot open to see Lee looking at me from his bunk.

I just stared at him and he gave me a weak grin, "he does. Yeh juss dont see it."

I shrugged and he spoke once more, "tell him."

"Tell him what?"

"That yeh love him."

"What? Who said..."

"Oh please." He said cutting me off as he rolled his eyes, "yeh love him. Don't lie."

I shrugged and he chuckled, "tell him love. It'll change fings. I promise."

I bit my lip as he closed his curtain back. I doubted that but of course that was one L word I would not say to Oliver Sykes unless he did first.