Fourteen Sundays

“You say you should have died instead of me.
But during my time on earth,
people died instead of me, too.
It happens every day."
-Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet In Heaven

James

Ann didn’t have the time yet alone strength to write me the fifth part. But did you know that though her letter was incomplete I felt completely whole after reading it.

So instead of looking at an empty space where Ann had written Fourteenth Sunday. I took the pen lying in her desk, as if it is waiting for me. And I wrote her, her fourteenth Sunday.

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April 17, 2011 (You wouldn’t believe this but yeah, today is Sunday)

See this balloon Ann?
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I wrote while holding the balloon up in heaven, knowing that she’s peaking through the clouds looking at me. Then I tied it back again in my hand. I am in the park, sitting in her favorite bench.

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Remember the time when we lost Bolt and we had to move on with our lives and try not to think the day we lost him? Do you remember Bolt? Do you remember how excited you were when dad bought him? You were only 5 years old. We spent 5 amazing years with that dog. Do you remember Bolt Ann?

Do you remember us playing with him? Do you remember me?

It’s been so long since then but I still remember him, the good times. That’s how I got by I guess. I tried to let him go while keeping all those memories that meant a lot to me. Those memories that made me happy. It worked.

And I guess that’s how it’s going to be with you. But here’s the thing Ann, I don’t promise you of ‘no-crying-at-night’ anymore because I know that one way or another, I’ll still remember the pain. It’s a part of it. And I can’t promise you that there won’t be times when I will just feel sad just because.

I am only human Ann. We live by memories. The good times and whether you like it or not, the bad.

But here’s what I’ll promise you, as soon as this balloon slip off my hands, I promise, I’ll live my life the way it was the time when you’re alive. Who knows, maybe happier?

If you have any objections you can always grab the balloon off my hands and just take me wherever you are right now. But you should take Stan, mom and dad, Lee and Aya too.

I really miss you. I miss every bits of you, everything that if ever I write it on paper I will surely run out of ink. I know they are treating you well up there.

Mom and dad are fine. They’re getting there. little by little they’re getting there. And do you know what? I have a little sister again, Mom and dad adopted her.

Her naughtiness, her laugh and mostly her eyes reminds me of you. She’s beautiful.

Her name is Annie.

I call her Ann.

I am working on something. It will take years but I promise I will have you witness a miracle. I will save those who were sick like you. I will Ann. I promise.

I had a dream about you last night. It seemed so real. It felt real.

I’ll see you someday. I’m letting go of the balloon now Ann. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to forget you.

You know I never will.

I laughed, and somehow the sudden flash of sunlight beaming through my face feels like Ann’s laughter. I feel it warm on my face I can almost see her emerging from the heavens laughing.

And I don’t know if you will believe this or not. But I swear, and I will always remember and tell it to my sons and even grandsons.

The moment I let go of the balloon, I swear I saw Ann waving happily at me,

constantly saying that in time,

when God permits,

we will be together

and never be apart ever again.
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