Fourteen Sundays

Lorenzo

I was thinking about you,
Thinking about me
Thinking about us,
What we gonna be.
Open my eyes,
It was only just a dream
-Just A Dream; Nelly

Ann once told me how much she believed that Stan, no matter where he is then, loves her so much. People around her probably didn’t know a good lot of things that I’ve come to know about her. Just like she said, we met in the most bizarre moment in her life.

I wasn’t able to see Ann undergo her operation, which I heard from Lee didn’t go well. She died a few hours after I landed here in New York. Often times I’d think that she donated her heart just so she can save me, but living in that deluded lie will not, and never will, make Ann come back.

I’ve probably experienced so many lost in my life that losing Ann seems just like any other day for me. Like when my mom and dad both died in a car crash. Like when my only sister died even when she hasn’t spent that much time with us. Losing someone for me became all too ordinary, that God hasn’t done much but to take all my loved ones away.

I never went back ever since I learned that Ann died. There is no one worth coming back for anyway. My grandfather decided to live in New York with me, and every day, ever since we came here I asked him to narrate everything that happened the night I thought I could have died.

“You were sleeping like an angel that night.” He started, “You look so quiet, so serene. I didn’t want to wake you. Oftentimes you’re smiling. I could’ve been fooled because you were smiling the time your monitor went flat. And we decided to move you here as soon as possible. You were barely breathing. When I was about to follow you I saw Ann being wheeled to the Operating Room. I stopped and prayed that somehow she’ll save you. And she did.”

The first time I heard that, I thought Ann was my heart donor. But Pops made it clear that she wasn’t.

“You seem lost in your thoughts.” Juleanne said as she sat besides me. We were sitting in our front porch with the wind softly blowing in the earth. It wasn’t sunny, but it didn’t seem as if it will rain. Juleanne is my next door neighbor, she loves the simplest things and when no one seems to cheer me up when I’m sad, she’s there. Probably the reason why I came to like her.

“Still thinking about Ann?”

I nodded; it isn’t my thing to lie.

“Who’s she anyway?”

I just smiled; thinking about her was painful enough that it made me mute.

“Some forbidden love back in your home?”

“She was my first love.” I said finally finding my voice to answer.

Juleanne looked down and I smiled at her, “Oh.” She cleared her throat smiled and look at me again, “What she like?”

“She’s very pretty. When she laughs her eyes turn into half moons. Many think she’s cold-hearted, insensitive, brat, hell people even call her a b1tch. But they didn’t know she’s just as weak and vulnerable.”

“Does she make you laugh when you’re sad?” she asked sounding exactly like a kindergarten student.

I had to laugh. Then there was silence. Juleanne is waiting for me to reply. I looked at the sky. It looked calm. It looked peaceful. And letting my heart answer I said, “She made me want to live.”

Before I knew it a single tear fell down my cheeks. “Why don’t you go back to her then?”

I wiped my eyes and smiled back at Juleanne again. “She’s dead.”

Her eyes widened with surprise and for some weird moment there she seems at lost for words. This doesn’t happen at all.

“I’m…”

But the beep of my phone cut her. I took it out and almost dropped it when I saw who sent me an e-mail. Juleanne leaned over to see who sent it; she then punched me in the arm and said, “Pfft! You’re a bluf! How can a dead girl send you an e-mail?”

“She—sh—she’s --- re--- really--- d—d---de—dead.” I stammered.

I opened it and felt relieved that I wasn’t being spooked when I read James’ note.

“Sh1T! What’s her brother playing at?!!” I almost yelled.

“Why?”

“It’s from her brother.”

“Oh. Read it then.” She said smiling at me.

“I don’t mean to be rude but I want to be alone for a while.”

She smiled. “I’ll come back after an hour! And you can’t shoo me away after that.” And she left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enz,

I know you’re shocked. But I need to send this to you through her e-mail to make it look real. I didn’t make this up. I scanned Ann’s letter for you. I hope you’re fine there in New York. Ann would’ve ranted all day long about the shoes she’d want to get when you arrive home. I hope you are doing well. Stay healthy bro. we’re waiting for you to return.

James.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I looked at my laptop that is sitting beside me and hesitantly opened it. I downloaded the attached file from James’ e-mail and with trembling hands read.

Fifth Sunday

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Letter for Lorenzo (my heartbeat)

Hi Enz! I’m sorry I wasn’t able to spend more time with you ever since Stan arrived and take a toll in my life. I would really want it for you to get along well since I know he owes you so much just for keeping me barely alive when he came back.

You know I’m not really the sappy, corny, mushy person on earth but oftentimes I think you are God’s gift for me. You were the one who made my heartbeat again when it’s already failing to function. Sometimes I feel guilty when you’re in pain; it’s as if I’m stealing your heartbeats. (DOWNRIGHT CORNY. VOMIT NOW. DONE? GARGLE. CONTINUE READING)

You know what; if Stan didn’t come back I probably would’ve fallen for you. I was aware that oftentimes I am whispering your name out of nowhere for no apparent reason; I was seriously confused at that time. But I’ll be selfish if I ask you to stay by my side even if Stan is already with me.

I wish you will meet someone who will share the same sweetness that you have. Remember the first time we met? In the park? Remember how you shouted “You’re pretty, but I saw from the other day that you’re already taken. I hope you’re not yet married. I would love to take a chance.” I remember every single day I had with you Enz. I can still remember how you introduced yourself as Enzo because you thought it will sound cool. Guess what Enz, ENZ is way cooler. XD

I can still picture your amazement when you saw that my room is pink. And yes. It still is pink. Remember when you said you were disappointed then? I can still remember your exact same words “Your wish my command, honestly it kind of broke my heart, at first I was like, ‘wooohooo Ann texted’ and when I scrolled down, I was…. ‘damn.’”

You probably don’t know why I’m saying the things I remember about you. About us. Well, I just want you to know that though we only spent a little time together, you are still important to me. You were. Still are. And forever be relevant. So when you feel like it you can always punch Lee, Stan or James when they’re rude to you. As an exception I will give you this letter ahead, you have my permission to treat them like I treat them. LIKE TOTAL PIECE OF CRAP.HAHAHA XD JK.

*back to being dead serious*

I’ll always remember you Enz, and when the time comes I hope you introduce me to that lucky girl that’ll win your heart.

Hoping she’s not prettier than me,
Ann
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I laughed. “Are you happy there? You are not going to believe this but I met Stan’s supposed to be wife.”

I looked at the girl whose face I didn’t recognize until now. She’s smiling, waving at me. Asking me if it’s ok to talk. I just smiled.

“She still doesn’t know that my first love is also that one girl she said was lucky because she has Stan.”

She sat beside me panting, she sits there smiling brightly like ever.

“I told you I’ll be back after an hour.”

Her name is Juleanne. She’s a great girl. and when time has finally healed the wounds you left me, I’ll marry her. Not because her dad is some business tycoon here in New York but because I love her

The same way I loved you.