Every Storm That Comes Also Comes to an End

Honestly, this whole Avoiding Avery plan isn't half-bad.

Since I am intentionally doing it, a part of me knows it's for the best. So it isn't like it has been for the past year, always aching for her touch, her laugh, her smile, her eyes...it's more like a want then a need. And I can't want her when I can't have her.

I've been writing for the past three days. Either at Jack's house or my own house. I never ventured anywhere else, afraid I would see Avery and forget about avoiding her.

I've written four songs so far. They still need to be edited, but it's made up for a lot of lost studio time from when I was spiraling into depression. And even Matt Squire has mentioned how I seem much more livelier, and much more myself. And that put a smile on my face, knowing I was making progress.

And I haven't even so much as looked at my pills since the morning I called Jack.

"Alex!" I hear Jack's whiny voice call from the kitchen. I look up, my pencil falling in my lap in anger from being interrupted. "You have no fucking food. Are you going on a diet?"

"I need to go grocery shopping," I say distractedly, bringing my notebook back in front of my face. "Now fuck off. I'm trying to write." My eyes scan over the last line I wrote, and I crinkle my nose in disgust. I scribble it out immediately.

"Then go motherfucking grocery shopping!"

I groan, my head hitting the back of the couch impatiently. "Do it yourself! I'm busy." I write down a few words, biting my bottom lip in thought.

"No! I'm not gonna buy food for your house."

"Then stop complaining."

"Get off your lazy ass and go to the store!"

I throw my notebook down, the cover fluttering shut as my pencil hits the floor. "Might as well!" I call out to him, his back to me as he dug around in my refrigerator. "I can't get anything fucking done with your breathing down my neck about food." I grumble more curses as I power walk to the front door, grabbing my jacket and keys.

"Wait!"

I purse my lips, turning to Jack, who stood in the doorway of my kitchen. "What?" I hiss, jingling my keys impatiently while he looked to be deep in thought.

"Don't forget to buy Pop-Tarts."

I send him a glare, opening my front door. He laughs out loud as I storm out to my car, growling about absolutely nothing. I was out of my driveway a few moments later, revving toward the corner to turn out of my neighborhood. I was driving into the parking lot of Fry's four minutes later, still cussing Jack out under my breath.

I get all the necessary basics, like milk and eggs and such. I made sure to pointedly not get Pop-Tars, deciding that would teach Jack a lesson about eating my food and interrupting my song writing.

I payed, bringing the items back out to my car. I was about to get in the driver's seat when I saw the sign flashing for Starbucks.

I bite my bottom lip.

I was already planning on pulling an all-nighter; I needed to get as much writing done as possible. Coffee would certainly help me do just that.

So I shut my car door and lock it, making my way toward the Starbucks that was conveniently placed next to the grocery store. I pull open the door, ignoring everyone around me and asking for a Frappacino. The girl behind the counter barely payed attention to me as I handed over my credit card, waiting patiently for my drink to be finished.

Once it was done, I walk outside, huddling closer to my jacket from the chill.

But as I was crossing the street to get to my car, I come to a halt.

It was like everything slammed on it's brakes, coming to slow motion. My heart pounded in my ears like a metronome, beating rhythmically with the events unfolding before me.

I was doing so fucking well. But this...this I can't handle. I can handle her being in town; avoiding her. But seeing this, right in front of my face like it's all fucking casual and dandy...it's just too much. How can I be expected to handle this?

The mysterious guy Avery was with smiles, nodding his head. Then he slowly bends down, pressing his lips against the corner of her mouth. Three things bubbled up inside of me, like a pot boiling: anger, jealousy, and need. I need something, and it wasn't even Avery. For the first time in a long time, Avery wasn't what I needed. It was something entirely different.

And then she was turning toward me, a frown pulling her lips down.

My face felt blank, like a cool, clean slate someone had just wiped down. Her brows pull together slightly before she whirled away, leaving me to come back to reality.

I watch her walk away into the bustling crowd of people for a few more seconds. Then I push myself forward, almost walking on autopilot toward my car. I get inside, white hot rage spilling over as I slam on the gas, speeding out of the lot.

When I got home, Jack was gone. Probably out to get some food.

Good, I think to myself as I race into my house, abandoning the groceries in the trunk of my car. It's better if I do this without him breathing down my neck.

I took the stairs two at a time, pounding up them like my life depended on it. I was suddenly in my bathroom with no recollection of getting in there, but it didn't matter. All that mattered to me was the sweet, sweet release I was craving.

I open my medicine cabinet, grinning maniacally at the orange bottle.

My fingers were fumbling as I take it down, finally managing to pop the lid off. It fell to the ground, but I pay it no mind as I dump as handful of pills into my hand. I didn't even think about the consequences, I just wanted the pain of my broken heart to go away. I stuff each pill in my mouth, swallowing them dry.

They fell to my stomach, and peace washed over me like I had been dosed with cold water. The now empty orange bottle falls from my hands as a thin sheet glass falls over my vision, blurring everything in my line of sight.

Sweat gathers on my forehead as I stumble over my feet, exiting the bathroom but knocking my knee against the wall. I suddenly felt tired, so tired...

My eyes droop, my body sagging. I fall to the ground.

The last thing I pictured was Avery and that guy, his mouth coming so close to hers, the mouth I had kissed so many times before...and then there was nothing.