Every Storm That Comes Also Comes to an End

A couple of hours later I was putting the finishing touches on my outfit for my date with Darren. I was excited for tonight. I’d been a while since I put myself out there, the whole drama with Alex had put a big dent in my self-esteem. It felt nice though, the excitement en slight nervousness while getting ready, imagining how the night will go.

Though most of my thoughts were already a couple of hours ahead a small part in the back of my mind couldn’t shake the feeling I had earlier that day when I saw Alex. He looked so…. hurt, almost like he was in actually, physical pain. I realized I was actually worried about him! Angrily I flung my mascara across the room. I was going on a date tonight and somehow Alex still managed to ruin that for me. No, I wasn’t going to let him ruin this, my new life, my new beginning. I had a right to start over and Alex was not going to be a part of that new life.

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It was precisely 7 o’clock when the bell rang. I opened the door to reveal a casually dressed Darren standing on the porch. “Hi Ave, you look lovely.” He smiled and offered his arm to me. I smiled back and hooked my arm into his. “Thanks Dare, don’t look too bad yourself.” I teased and closed the door behind me.

As the true gentlemen he was Darren let me to his car and held the door open for me. I giggled and got in. He hurried to the driver’s seat and a minute later we were on our way. “So, what are our plans for tonight?” I asked. “Uhm, I was thinking we could go to that new Japanese restaurant, I know how much you like sushi.” Darren laughed. “And maybe go see a movie if you want? I’m not sure what playing right now, but I’m sure we’ll find something.” I chuckled. “I’m rambling aren’t I?” Darren laughed. “ A little.” I admitted. “Sorry, just a little nervous.” He smiled. I shook my head and laughed. “Why? It’s just me, remember? You’re best friend. I haven’t changed that much.” “No, that you haven’t. I’m glad to see you’re still the same old, fun loving Avery I used to know In high school.” Darren smiled and shortly after announced we we’re there.

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“Law school? Really?” I asked surprised, studying him for a second. “Yeah, no you’re right. I can actually see you doing that.” I chuckled. “What? Why?” Darren sounded confused. “You always we’re very competitive, you hate losing.” I teased taking another bite.

The date was going very well. It almost felt like high school again, except we we’re a little older now and Darren wasn’t just a friend anymore. He was telling me about this case he was working on, giving me a few seconds to study him. He looked good, even better than I remembered. He hadn’t changed much, maybe a little more serious at times, but still always in for a laugh. As he continued to explain about the case my thoughts started to wander.

How could I not have seen that my best friend was in love with me. Thinking back the signs we’re pretty clear, the constant jealousy and hostility towards Alex, the occasional flirting between us that back then just seemed like normal banter and just other little things he used to do now finally made sense. I wondered how thing would have been right now if Alex hadn’t came along to sweep me of my feet. Would he have had the courage to tell me how he felt or would we till this day still be ‘just friends’?

“Hey Dare? Why didn’t you ever asked me out back in high school? I mean before Alex.” I asked. Darren looked a little taken aback by my sudden question but answered quickly nevertheless. “I was afraid to ruin or friendship. Very cliché, I know, but it’s the truth. When I finally had the courage to tell you you were already going out with Gaskarth. I was planning on tell you when you two broke up, but that didn’t happened. And when I found out you broke of the engagement you were already gone.” He explained.

I blushed deep red in embarrassment. “I’m sorry.” I mumbled. “For what?” Darren laughed. “For not realizing you we’re in love with me, for picking Alex over you, for leaving without telling you.” I said quickly. Darren stopped smiling and took my hand. “Don’t apologize Ave, I get it, I really do. There’s nothing you should be sorry about.” I gave him a small smile. “Thanks Dare.” I said, kissing his cheek. “It’s cool.” He said. “You’re done? I’ll go pay and get the car then, be back in a sec.” He said and got up.

I nodded and decided to check my phone in the mean time. I was surprised to see I had several missed calls from the guys, a few from my dad and even two from my sister. I was trying to figure out who to call back when Jack called me. “Hello?” “Ave? Oh thank god! You picked up! We’ve been trying to reach you for hours!!” He nearly shouted. “Hey guys, I got her.” I heard him say to someone followed by a couple of relieved noises in the background.

“Jack? Jack!” I said, trying to get his attention back to the phone. “What’s going on?” “It’s Alex, he’s in the hospital.” I could feel the phone slip from in between my shaking fingers. “No.” I whispered, slowly falling to my knees. I struggled to pick up the phone, but eventually got it. I held it to my ear, hold it with both hands. “W-what happened?” I stuttered. “He overdose on a shitload of pills. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to come, but we all thought you at least had a right to know. I know you two haven’t been….” “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” I said. Jack didn’t say anything for a moment. “Already, see you at the hospital then.” And he hung up. At that point Darren returned. One look at my teary face was enough. “Where to?” Was all he asked. “T-the hospital.” I hiccupped.

We drove to the hospital in complete silence. Darren didn’t ask what was wrong or going on, he just took me there. The second we were inside I nearly attacked the girl behind the counter. “Gaskarth, Alex Gaskarth.” I almost begged her. “Room 254, second floor on the East wing. But visiting hours are….” I didn’t hear the rest, but was already sprinting towards the stairs.

It didn’t take me long to find the room. I couldn’t find any of my friends and family though, but didn’t bother to figure out where they were. I just stood there frozen in the doorway, the sight in front of me causing a loud sob to escape from my mouth. There was only one bed in the room with Alex was laying in it, hooked up on a bunch of monitors and other beeping things. He wasn’t moving, but his chest was going up and down, assuring me he was still alive. I wanted so badly to go inside, make sure he was okay, but I couldn’t. I did this to him, deep inside I knew Alex seeing me with Darren had caused this. I felt sick to my stomach knowing I almost killed the one person I loved.

I was about to go inside, when a hand on my shoulder stopped me. I turned around to come face to face with a nurse. “I’m sorry Miss, but visiting hours are over. The next one will be at ten so if you’d please go down to the cafeteria until then I…..” “No, please.” I begged. “Only a minute. Please, I just found out what happened.” The nurse hesitated for a second. “Are you family Miss?” She asked. “I’m his fiancée.” It was out before I realized it. I wasn’t sure what made me say it, but it seemed to work. “We had a big fight earlier and…” I trailed of, not sure how to continue. The nurse nodded. “15 minutes, that’s all I can give you right now.” She said. I nodded thankfully. “How is he?” I whispered. “He’s stable, but he’s lucky. The amount of pills could have easily killed him, he’s very lucky his friend found him in time. He’s unconscious right now, but he should be fine in a couple of days.” She said and left.

I hurried back inside the room, taking a seat next to the bed. I took one of his hands in mine and cried. “I’m sorry, Alex, I’m so sorry.” I whispered. “This is all my fault. You did this because of me. I’m sorry Alex. I never meant for this to happen. Please, don’t ever do this again, I need you. I know a lot of thing happened between us, but I need you. You can’t do things like this. I love you and I can’t lose you. Please don’t leave me.” For a moment the past few years had disappeared. Alex and I were still together, about to get married, and he tried to take himself out of my life. The thought was simply unbearable.

I sat there the whole time, crying whispering things to him how he couldn’t leave me and needed to get better. It wasn’t the nurse however that got me back to reality.

“Ave?” I soft voice shook me out of my trans. I looked up to see two figures standing in the hallway. I let go of Alex’s hand and joined them in the hallway. The two people waiting for me were Darren and Jack. I decided to take this one at a time and turned to Darren as Jack went to check up on Alex. I tried to explain or apologize, whatever was necessary right now, but Darren beat me to it.

“It will always be him won’t it Ave? No matter what he does Alex will always be the one that you love.” He said, but not with the anger I expected, his tone was soft and understanding, only making this worse for me. I tried to speak, but no sound was coming out of my mouth, so I simply nodded instead. Darren sighed. “Well it was nice to have you, even if it was for just a few hours.” He said, kissing my forehead and turned around. “I’ll see you later Ave.” Was all he said before he disappeared down the stairs.

I went back inside the room to find Jack in my previous spot next to the bed. “Explain.” He said. “Explain what?” I asked confused. “Why the nurse told me his fiancée was with him.” I shrugged. “I needed to see him, so I made up a story so the nurse would let me in.” “Well I’m not buying it.” Jack said. “Fine.” I snapped, getting a little irritated. “I know you Ave, you’re an awful liar, there’s no way you could have convince that nurse you were Alex fiancée unless you believed it yourself.” He said.

I shrugged again. “Maybe, maybe not. You don’t know me that well anymore Jack, maybe that part of me has changed.” “Maybe.” He agreed, but still sounded doubtful. “You want me to leave you alone with your fiancée?” He asked, emphasizing on the last word. I shook my head. “No, I’m leaving.” I said and turned around. Right outside the room I turned back. “Oh and Jack, Alex can never know about this. I was never here, get it?” He stared at me for what felt like an eternity, but finally nodded. “Yeah, I get it.”