Every Storm That Comes Also Comes to an End

Caitlyn dragged me down to the salon to get me ready for my date tonight. Apparently it was some she used to work with and she was still good friends with. She kept going on and on about how nice he was and how much we had in common and how he definitely wasn’t like Alex.

I zoned out after 5 minutes thinking of my phone call with Alex. Even though I was a little annoyed with Caitlyn for interrupting my conversation with Alex a part of me was secretly grateful. What was I supposed to say to him? Of course I’m still hung up on you. You’re the love of my life! How could you even think someone could ever take your place. Nope, definitely not that, he’s be on the first flight back to Baltimore if I’d told him the truth. But I couldn’t lie to Alex either, he’d see right through me.

I closed my eyes and thought back at his words. I called to say goodbye. It sounded so….. definite, so final. Like he was finally ready to forget about me and that hurt. Even though we’d been through so much and he’d hurt me more than any other person in the word Alex had been a certainty in my life for a very long time. He was always there for me, even when I hated him so much I couldn’t even look at him. Alex love for me was something I could count on and now that that as gone it felt like nothing was certain anymore, like the world could collapse any second now.

Could I do it? Could I really forgive Alex and love him again? Deep in my heart I already knew the answer. Of course I could. That final phone call had finally made me realize what I’d been trying to deny for weeks now. I want Alex, I want to be with him. Yes, he’d made mistakes and fucked up beyond believe, but if we could work this out there was nothing that could break us apart ever again.

But of course Alex had already made his choice when he decided to move to L.A. with Jack. He didn’t want me anymore, obviously, he was moving on and so should I. So instead of dwelling on the past any longer I decided to focus on the future and figure out how I was going to get my life back together. I guess going on this date was a good first step.

I was pulled back to reality when Caitlyn ask me the following question: “So who were you on the phone with earlier?” “Hmm… Oh, uhm…. Jack. He wanted to let me know everything went well, they’re settling in quiet nicely apparently.” I don’t know what made me lie to Caitlyn, but somehow it was physically impossible for me to tell her Alex had been the one who’d called.

“Oh, that’s nice.” She smiled. Thankfully she didn’t press the subject and launched into another story about how wonderful this guy was. She glanced and the clock. “Oh dammit, we should hurry.”
Back at the house Caitlyn helped me pick out an outfit. She hugged me, wished me luck and hurried me out the door. I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself or tonight. It’s gonna be fine. Tonight is going to amazing. I told myself and got into my car.

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When I got home several hours later Caitlyn was waiting for me on the couch. “So…. how was it?” She asked eagerly. I plopped down next to her and closed my eyes. “Disastrous!” I moaned. “He probably things I’m a total idiot.” Caitlyn’s smile fell. “What happened? What did he do?” “Nothing!” I opened my eyes to look at her. “He was perfect. Polite, nice, sweet, funny, a total gentlemen.” “What’s wrong with that?” “Nothing, it was me who screwed up.” I confessed. “I couldn’t focus on anything he said, didn’t know what to say or how to act. It felt weird….” I sighed. “Plus there is the fact I kept comparing him to Alex all night…”

“Alex?” Caitlyn said, a hint of irritation in her voice. “I thought you were trying to forget about Alex, comparing him to every guy you meet is kinda the opposite of that Ave.” “I know, it’s just that…. He called.” “He what!?” Caitlyn exploded. “I lied, I’m sorry. Alex was the one who called earlier, not Jack.” I said softly.

Caitlyn immediately demanded all the details of the phone call and I told her everything. What Alex had said, about how I’d realized I wanted Alex and how I couldn’t do anything with it because Alex had moved on already.

“So what are you gonna d now?” Caitlyn asked carefully. “I don’t know.” I answered truthfully. “I guess I need to get my live back on track before I can decided what to do with Alex.” As if on que my phone started ringing and I froze. No…. it wouldn’t be…. That would be too much of a coincident….

I looked at the caller ID. I did recognize the number, but it wasn’t the person I’d expected. I quickly picked up. “Hello?” “Avery! Darling! How have you been?” I smiled a little upon hearing the voice of my old boss. “I’m good Irene, thanks for asking.” “Wonderful! Wonderful.” She said .”Look darling, you know how much I hated having to let you go, but I had to make some choices and seeing the… circumcises…..” “It’s okay, I understand.” I said quickly, wondering why she even called me in the first place, clearly not to apologize. “Good, good. Look darling, I’ll go straight to the point. We need an editor and you are the one they want.” She started, but I cut her off. “I’ll take it.” I said, trying not to sound too eager. “Calm down darling.” Irene chuckled. “Of course you do, there was no doubt in my mind you would say yes…. But there is one thing…. The job I’m offering is in L.A.”

I froze. No, this was NOT happening. My old boss didn’t just hand me my dream job on a silver platter only to tell me it’s in the one place on earth I can’t go to. “Avery, sweetheart, I know moving that far away from your family is a lot to ask, especially after your mother just passed away, but I would really like you to consider it. It’s a big opportunity. How about you call me back next week to tell me what you decided.” “Yes, yes of course.” I nodded. “Already, talk to you later darling.”

“Who was that?” Caitlyn asked. “That was my old boss, she offered me a job. Not just any job, but the one I’ve been working my ass off for the past 4 years.” I said flatly. Caitlyn squealed and hugged me. “Oh Ave that’s amazing!” Then she saw my face. “Why aren’t you happy?” She asked. I sighed. “Because the job is in L.A.”

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After three days of internal struggle I decided to get some advice. So that night at dinner I decided to inform my dad about the offer I’d gotten. “So uhm dad.” I started. “I got a call from Irene the other day, my old boss, and she uhm…. offered me a job.” My dad stopped eating and looked up at me. “Really? That’s wonderful Avery.” He smiled. “Yeah, it’s great. And it isn’t just a job. It’s something I’ve been working my ass off for the past few years.” I said, trying to sound excited. “Really? Wow…” Dad looked thoughtful. “Then why aren’t you happy sweetie? If this is a dream of yours?” I sighed. “Because the job is in L.A.” “Well, it’s definitely not close to home, but you shouldn’t let that stop you. Caitlyn and I will be fine here.” He smiled. “I know that. It isn’t just the distance I’m worried about. It’s just that Jack just moved to L.A. recently….” “And Alex went with him.” My dad finished. “Yes, that might be something to consider….. But think about this, hasn’t Alex influenced your life enough by now? Do you really wanna give up your dream just to avoid running into him?”

I thought about what my dad had said. When he put it that way it sounded like a ridiculous reason to reject the offer. I slowly nodded my head. “I guess your right dad. I can’t keep taking Alex into account every time I need to make a decision regarding my future.”

Dad chuckled, but quickly turned serious again. “Take the job Avery. I want you to be happy.” “Thank you daddy, I will.”

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The next day I called Irene back to tell her my decision. She was thrilled to hear I accepted the job. She immediately launched into a speech regarding all the details. I’d get my own office, I got paid a lot more than before, but, then again, I had to work more hours and I had a lot more responsibilities. She’d even arranged an apartment for me, close to the office. She told me I needed to step into the office as soon as I got to L.A. to sign some forms and contracts, but that I wouldn’t start until next month, so I had plenty of time to move and get settled.

I smiled when I hung up the phone. I was really excited about this and I wanted to start packing as soon as possible, but there was something I needed to do first.

I scrolled though my list of contacts until I found his number. He picked up at the third ring. “Hello?” “Hey Jacky.” “Ave! How are you? I miss you!” I could hear the pout in his voice. “I’m good, more than good actually. How’s L.A.?” I asked. “L.A. is great!” He said excitedly. “I do miss you though, can’t you come visit me or something?” I laughed. “Maybe I will. Actually that’s why I called.” I said. “Because you’re coming for a visit?” Jack asked confused. “No, not really…. I got a job offer… in L.A.” It was quiet for a few moment on the other side. “Seriously!?” Jack nearly screamed. “You’re not kidding right? Because that would be so mean! Alex is gonna freak when he hears this! He won’t admit it, but I know he misses you like crazy and….” “JACK! STOP!” I caught him off. “I’m not moving to L.A. because of Alex.” I said sternly. “I’m moving because of my job.”

“Okaaaaaay.” Jack said slowly. “But can I at least tell him?” He sounded so hopeful. “I guess so, it’s not like I can stop you.” I sighed eventually. “Look I got to go, I need to start packing.” “Alright, see you when you get here. Bye Ave.” “Bye Jack. See you soon. ”

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Three weeks later
I was walking back to my apartment after a quick last meeting before I’d start my new job on Monday. I was dying for a cup of coffee seeing I hadn’t been able to get one this morning. I decided to take a little detour and go to my favorite Starbucks. It was a lot quieter than the one on my way home.

I gave the barista my order and turned around to scan the room. I froze when I saw a familiar figure in the corner. He hadn’t seen me thankfully. He seemed to be lost in the notebook in front of him. I quickly took my order and sat down at a table on the other side off the room. I could still see him, but I was outside his line of view, the only way he would see me was if he decided to turn around and look for me.

I was fighting the urge to go up to him and tell him how much I’d missed him and that yes, I did love him, but I couldn’t. Instead I stayed hidden in the corner, praying he wouldn’t see me.