Every Storm That Comes Also Comes to an End

Alex

The dial tone in my ear sounded extremely loud.

Fuck, I knew she would do this. The moment I heard she was coming back I ran to my phone. But what did I expect? For her to answer in tears and suddenly forgive me, accepting me back with open arms? Shit, I should have known better.

I told you I never wanted to see or talk to you again. And that 'news' doesn't change anything between us. Just lose my number, Alex.

When she said those words, I don't think she knew just how much they hurt me.

This past year has been hell. Ever since the disastrous wedding, Avery is all that's been on my mind. I've fucked up time and time again and I know now that I can never make it better. She gave me her trust one last time, and I had to blow it. Thinking back on the road trip, I don't know why I didn't just tell Ave it was me who was marrying her sister.

It's because the shock of seeing her again had paralyzed the truth from coming out of my mouth. I can only look back and regret it now. There's no changing it.

I don't know how many times I've cursed myself for not saying anything. I've messed up so many people's lives that it's too hard to keep the list straight. I want to make it up, but neither Caitlyn nor Avery will allow me to.

I finally shut my phone and stuff it back in my pocket.

A knock was heard on my door. It opens and Avery's dad steps in. The forlorn look on his face remained as he looks over at me. It's been there since he found out.

"Did she call you back?" he asks quietly.

I know he still wasn't happy with me, but he's the only person who's a tad forgiving. About six months after the wedding, I sat Avery's parents down and explained everything. The road trip, Caitlyn, and how I wasn't truthful about anything.

They forgave me, but I could tell it was reluctant. I knew they would never forgive me for breaking not one, but both of their daughters hearts. That's one thing I'll never forget.

"Yeah, she did," I answer, pulling a hand through my hair. "She basically told me to fuck off."

Richard nods, blowing out a deep breath. His gray hair looked sickly to me. He's taken the death harder than any of us. "I'm glad she's coming for the funeral," Richard says slowly. "I haven't seen her in so long...and I wish her mother were here to see her. Avery needs to say goodbye to her mom. Even though Elaine won't be able to see it back."

About a month ago, Ave's mom was taken to the hospital for having a heart attack. She survived, barely, but was forced to stay in the hospital. They pulled the plug a week and a half ago, and that's when Richard called Avery to come to Maryland.

"Do you...do you think...she'll ever forgive me?" I ask softly.

Richard hesitates before reaching out to pat my shoulder. "Only she can answer that question."

He gives me a sad smile before leaving my house, giving me the time for the funeral in a couple of days. I just nod, watching him walk down my driveway. His depressed gait stung me.



For the past year, I've done nothing but complain.

Complain about Avery, about Caitlyn, about my writer's block, about everything. Nothing is good enough for me anymore. I can't take anything in without feeling like I'll just ruin it later on. I don't want to get close to anything, fearing that my choices with destroy it for the long run.

I did it to Avery. I'm sure I'll do it to something else.

We went on tour for about three months, but I was completely out of it during that time period. Finally, Matt called it quits and we've been solely working on music since then. It's been hard to keep my spirits up when I know Avery's aren't.

I knew she would want to come down for her mom's funeral. And I know she'll avoid me as much as possible. And I know it's best. I've hurt her too much already.

But I want to be with her.

Why do you think I did what I did? I know cheating on her sister was wrong, and I've accepted that, but I did it because I love Avery and no one else. Fuck, I know my priorities were shit during that road trip, but I've straightened them out since then. And I need to make Ave realize that. She needs to see I've grown, maybe not completely out of my asshole persona, but I've gotten better day by day.

But it might be too late for her to ever forgive me.