Every Storm That Comes Also Comes to an End

I was watching T.V. when the doorbell rang. My dad was at the church, making some last arrangements for mom’s funeral tomorrow. I hesitated a second before opening the door, what if it was Caitlyn? I so wasn’t ready to deal with her too right now. Just being back in Baltimore caused me more than enough stress already.

Suddenly I remembered Caitlyn had gone to the church with dad, so it couldn’t be her. Besides, she had a key to the house, why on earth would she knock in the first place. So thinking it would probably be another neighbor I opened the door.

I froze when I came face to face with the one person I couldn’t stand to be around these days. In fact, just thinking about him made me wanna jump of a bridge. And now that same person had the nerve to show up at my father’s doorstep, acting like nothing was wrong, though he seemed to be a little nervous.

I stared at him for a split-second before slamming the door in his face. Or at least tried to, Alex was a lot faster and stronger than me and he pushed against the door to keep it open. I glared at him and let go of the door, causing him to stumble into the house. I shrugged and walked back to the living room. I took my previous seat and focused my attention on the movie that was playing on the screen in front of me. I heard the door shut and seconds later Alex appeared from the hallway.

He just stood there awkwardly, waiting for me to acknowledge his presents. I, of course, didn’t, pretending like I was completely lost in the scene that was playing on the screen. While in reality I was wondering what the hell he was doing here and when the fuck he was leaving. But Alex seemed to have other plans then leaving me alone, like he’d managed to do for the past few months.

“Avery?” His voice was soft and exactly like I remembered. “Please look at me.” I pretended I didn’t hear him and got up to get a cup of coffee from the kitchen. Alex followed me and I could tell he was getting frustrated with my behavior. Which in turn pissed me off, I had every right to act like I did when it came to him. When he cheated on my sister with me Alex threw away every chance he had of ever being part of my life again.

“You can’t ignore me forever Avery.” Alex stated. Wanna bet? I poured some coffee in a cup and turned around to lean against the counter. But instead of looking at Alex I studied the people outside on the street. Alex took a few steps closer, carefully, like I was going to attack him if he moved to fast. Which wasn’t even such a bad idea, I just didn’t think my father would like it if I broke down his kitchen in the process. So instead I kept ignoring him.

I could tell it had been a spurt of the moment thing that made him decide to come here. He was just standing there, not knowing what to do or say. It’s typically Alex, just doing whatever he wanted, not even thinking a second about the consequences.

Alex seemed to finally understand that I wouldn’t start speaking to him any time soon, but instead of leaving, like I hoped, he started to pursue me to acknowledge him. “Avery, please, just look at me. I know I’m probably the last person you wanna see, especially with your mom…. and stuff, but please, all I’m asking you as to just look at me.” He begged, stepping in front of me, blocking my view of the window. Slowly I lifted my gaze and looked at him, or looked, merely stared at the place he was standing, trying to look through him.

“Ave, seriously If you don’t look at me right now I’m…. gonna kiss you.” That was enough to break my stubbornness. “If you do that I’ll break your neck.” I hissed. “So you can see me.” Alex said with a small, smug smile on his face. “I was starting to think I was invisible or something.” He joked, but I wasn’t in the mood. “What the hell are you doing here!?”I said furiously. “I….I don’t know…” Alex sighed. “Jack told me you we’re back and I just….. I wanted to…. I thought….I…” He stammered and looked down. “You what?” I demanded. “Thought just because I’m back everything would be okay between us? Like we could act nothing happened?” Alex looked up at me, a glint of hope in his eyes. “Are you insane!?” I screamed. “Or just plain stupid? How many times do I have to tell you this Alex, I want nothing to do with you!”

Alex didn’t say anything. He just stood there, nervously fumbling with his shirt, reminding me of a 5 year old who had been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. I’d never seen him so awkward and uncomfortable. I pushed passed him and went back to the living room. I sat back on the couch and like before Alex followed me into the room. This time however he sat down across from me. I ignored him again, while he stared at me. Finally he spoke.

“Don’t you love me anymore?” The question was so soft I almost thought I didn’t hear him right. I sighed and turned to look at him, really look at him this time. When my eyes met his a tornado of emotional went through me, remembering all the highs and lows of our relationship. I wanted him to hold me and never let me go while at the same time I wanted to make sure he would never come near me again. I knew deep down that I’d made the right decision when it came to Alex and I. I did love him, there was no denying it, we just couldn’t be together anymore. It was better that way, but how was I gonna tell Alex this without giving him hope?

“Of course I love you Alex. We’ve know each other since we were kids, we’d been together since freshmen year until my first year of college. I’ve always loved you and there’s no doubt a part of me always will continue to love you. There was a time you were my whole world, feelings like that don’t just disappear overnight.” I said softly.

“Then why…” Alex started, but I cut him off. “But I don’t trust you anymore Alex. You’ve cheated, lied and played games. I’m tired of it. When I found out about you and Caitlyn I hated you, really hated you. I simply couldn’t stand to be around you. I’ve cried myself to sleep for weeks. I cannot go through that again.

You keep saying you’ve changed and that things will be different, but you don’t change Alex, you can’t. You proved that last year.” Alex took a seat next to me and grabbed one of my hands. I quickly pulled it back and scooted a little away from him. Alex face fell. “I-I’m sorry about that. Guess you can’t even stand touching me.” I shook my head. “I just think it’s better if we stay away from each other as much as possible.” “So you really don’t want to have anything to do with me huh?” He said. “So you’re saying we can’t have any relationship whatsoever?”

“Alex a relationship, whether as a couple or just as friends, requires a mutual trust. An after that disaster last year trusting you is the last thing I’m gonna do.” I sighed. “Then let me prove to you you can trust me!” Alex practically begged, but I shook my head. “Like last time you mean? I don't think so Alex. I’m finally ready to go on with my life and I don’t want it involving more drama with you and me.” It might have come out a little harsh, but hopefully it would get the point across.

“So we can’t even be friends?” Alex pouted, something I used to be unable to resist when we we’re together. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea.” I said. Alex slummed back against the couch. “But you’ll be leaving again soon. I don’t want you to hate me when you do.” Alex confessed. I had an internal struggle with myself for a few seconds, wondering if I should tell Alex I wouldn’t be leaving Baltimore anytime soon. I decided against it however, there was no need for Alex to know I was going to stay I town for who knows how long. He would find out soon enough.

“I don’t hate you. I just think it’s better if we avoid each other as much as possible. Look, I’ll promise you that I’ll act civil towards you when we’re in public or around people, but don’t expect more of me right now.” It was a take it or leave it proposition, but of course Alex didn’t see it that way. “So you expect me to pretend I don’t know you when I see you? Just ignore you when.. I don’t know… we’re both happen to be at Jack’s place for example?”He said loudly. “I can’t do that Ave, I can’t pretend like you’re nothing to me. Like you’re a complete stranger! I love you! And you still love me too, you just said so yourself. We can fix this, I know we can!”

I got up from the couch. “I think you should go.” I said in an emotionless voice. “Ave, I…” “GET OUT!” I screamed and threw a pillow at him. “GET THE FUCK OUT ALEX! HOW DARE YOU COME OVER HERE!? ACTING LIKE NOTHING IS WRONG! EXPECTING ME TO SIMPLY FORGIVE YOU FOR EVERYTHING AND FALL BACK IN YOUR ARMS AGAIN! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!” I exploded, it was just too much. My mother dying, Alex being back in my life, my sister still hating me, losing my job and apartment, it was just too much. Seeing Alex was the only one around I took it out on him (he was part of it, so don’t judge me). I collapsed on the couch and started crying.

Alex immediately scooped me up in a hug. Normally I would have pushed him away, but I needed the comfort and just for a few minutes I could pretend nothing was wrong. Alex didn’t say anything, he just held me, letting me ruin his shirt with tears. “When are you ever gonna learn not to keep things in?” He mumbled.

It took me a couple of minutes to recover. I quickly pulled away from Alex. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. It’s just….. EVERYTHING! I got a little overwhelmed with everything that is going on right now.” I said stiffly. “You should be going now.” Alex slowly got up. “Ave, I…” “Stop calling me that Alex. My name is Avery, not Ave, we’re not friends anymore.” I snapped. Okay, maybe that wasn’t the real reason, but hell would have to freeze over before I would admit that I hated it when he called me Ave, because it reminded me of what we used to be and what we could have had.

“But that’s the thing Ave.” Alex said softly. “I want to be friends again.” I gave him a looked that practically asked if he was insane. “Okay, maybe not friends, or at least not right now.” He quickly said when he saw the look on my face. “I just wanna be part of your life again, I don’t care how. It torture not being able to see you every once in a while or even just talk to you.” I bit my lip, not sure how to respond. “You did it before.” I whispered. “The first time remember, you didn’t see or talk to me in years. How is this different?” I asked. “Because I had you back!” Alex practically shouted. “You were mine again, even if it was just for a little while. The first time I was young and stupid. I did realize how much you meant to me until you we’re gone. This time I was so desperate to get you back, I wasn’t thinking straight.”

Alex scooted a little closer again. “I never really got to apologize, so here it goes. Avery, I’m so sorry. For everything. Cheating on you the first time, lying to you and your sister, I’m sorry for hurting you over and over again. But most of all I’m sorry for that stupid fight we had that started this all.” He was looking straight in to my eyes when he spoke and I knew he was being sincere. “Thank you Alex, you have no idea how much I needed to hear that.” I took a step backwards. “But it doesn’t change anything. I’m not sure if I’m ready to let you back in again.”

“Then tell me what I need to do! I’ll do anything! Please Ave! I mean Avery.” I sighed, he really wasn’t going to give up. “Give me some time, please. I need to sort a couple of things out and get my life back on track first before I made a decision like that.” Alex nodded. “Of course, but just know that if I happen to run into you I’m not gonna pretend you’re not there.” I couldn’t help but smile just a little bit at his stubbornness, he kinda reminded me of a child. I shook my head in disbelieve, but didn’t say anything.

Alex left almost right after that, he waved awkwardly and left. I still had mixed feeling about all this, but at least Alex would stop pushing me into talking to him.

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The next day it was my mom funeral. I’d told my dad I’d meet him and Caitlyn at the church, trying to avoid a confrontation with my sister a little longer. I straightened the simple balk I was wearing, took a look in to mirror and grabbed my purse. I was running a little late, part of me was dreading to go back to the church, because it was the same church Alex and Caitlyn almost got married. I already knew facing my sister again was going to be difficult and to top it off of course it had to be in that church.

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I arrived at the church on time. My dad was waiting for me outside. I quickly parked my car and tried not to thinking about the things that happened here a year ago. Dad hugged me. “Let’s go inside honey, they’re about to start.” He said and pulled me inside. The church was full of familiar faces, including Alex and the guys. Jack quickly waved at me and I smiled a bit.

I walked behind my dad to the benches in the front row. Caitlyn was already there and she looked at me in shock when she realized I had indeed shown up. She shot a look at dad who sat down next to her. “Daddy, what is…” She whispered loud enough for me to hear. “Not now Caitlyn.” Dad said sternly. “It’s your mother funeral, show some respect.” I quickly took my seat on the other side of dad, trying not to look at Caitlyn.

Instead I looked straight ahead, were a picture of my mother was placed on a small table. I still remember that picture, because I’d been the one to take it. I’d been 17 I think and recently had gotten a w photography lessons. I’d bought a new camera and wanted to try it a.s.a.p. Mom just happened to be the first person I could find so I made her pose for me. A few tears formed at the memory.

I stayed like that the whole time, just looking at the picture, remembering happier times.
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The funeral came to an end. People were starting to leave, mumbled about the funeral. I followed them outside, the bright sunlight blinding me for a second. From where I was standing I could hear Caitlyn argue with my dad.

“What is she doing here!? She shouldn’t even be in Baltimore!” Caitlyn hissed. “It’s her mother too, Caitlyn.” My father said, sounding angry. “I don’t care, that bitch has no right to just show up like that after a year.” “Don’t talk about your sister like that!”

I realized Caitlyn was making a scene, so I rushed over to help my dad. “Caty please, let’s go back to dad’s house first. People are staring.” I said softly. “Stay away from me!” She shrieked. “You are not my sister! You stupid slut!” She pushed me away causing me to trip and fall on the damp grass. “Why are you even here? And don’t tell me it’s because of mom! You never gave a shit about any of us! Just do of all a favor and go back to where you came from!” And with that she stormed away.

I was still sitting on the ground, too shocked to get up. Everyone was staring at me and was whispering. I could already guess the things they were saying to each other.

Suddenly I felt a pair of strong arms pick me up from the dirty ground. I looked up and was met with the same pair of brown eyes as I had yesterday at my father house. “Are you okay?” He whispered. I shook my head and pulled away. “T-this is all your fault! S-stay away from me Alex.” I cried and started running away from him as fast as I could.

It wasn’t long until someone caught up with me. “Ave, wait!” Someone shouted. “I told you to leave me alone!” I spun around, but instead of Alex, like I expected, I came face to face with…. “Jack!” I screamed and threw myself at one of my best friends. “I missed you so much! Everything is wrong, just wrong!” I sobbed. Jack hugged me back. “Don’t worry, everything is gonna be fine. Now tell me, what exactly is wrong?” I sighed, “I don’t even know where to start…..”