I Never Dreamt Because I'm Just Too Busy

The first days of school almost always suck.

Everything is always so messed up and shambled that really nothing gets done. Not that I’m complaining. The past two days nobody’s really shown up for class.

I would, should, be out there with Chantel, living it up and doing shit I’ll regret so I can actually live for once in my life. But no. I’m sitting here in class because I’m too fucking much of a chicken to actually try something, and not care about the outcome for once. I’m too scared of my parent’s reaction to try shit.

Ah, whatever. It doesn’t matter. Not doing anything meant I was free to be alone and to do what I want.

This was a blessing and a curse in itself. The past couple classes I had no friends in. That or maybe they just did the things I was too afraid to do and lived life up a little. Either way, I ended up doodling. What’s bothering me about that is, I would begin to draw, and before I knew what I was doing, there lay the beginnings of those warm brown eyes, or that mass of tousled dark brown hair.

Or even those full lips…

Look at me. My compulsive doodles scream creeper with a capital c.

I’m not even going to bother to lie. I’ve been thinking about the boy from the coffee shop since I ran into him yesterday.

I can’t help it. He’s just too adorable. Not in just the literal sense. I mean, he’s definitely good looking, there’s no denying it. But the way he seems like such a gentleman…it’s endearing.

My thoughts came to a halt as I spotted Angel’s fluorescent tutu down the hall.

“Angel!”

Her perfectly teased head of hair turned blankly until she spotted me.

“Oh, hi.” She said, smiling before she pulled her phone from her backpack. We continued on our way to the cafeteria until she randomly stopped, wide eyed and shouted, “That little whore!”

“Who?”

“Danny!” She didn’t bother to lower her voice, as no one was in sight. “He said he wanted to get back together with Mystique, and they were going to work things out. But now, Mystique tells me that he went and fucked Sapphire!”

I thought about it for a second. Sure, that’s a fucked up thing to do, but Danny and Mysti weren't together then, right? So why should it matter? I say forget about him. They were only together for two months anyway. As for Sapphire, who knows? What if she’s the one lying? I don’t even know.

“And Sapphire―”

I cut her off. “Uh, if he really did that, why doesn’t Mystique say ‘fuck you’ and forget about him?”

“Because!” She rambled on, basically repeating what she said before.

Echo had somehow appeared. “Okay, I get it.” I told Angel. When really, I didn’t. Getting this angry really created more drama than necessary. At least I thought so.

Within a few minutes Angel was rambling away on her phone to Mystique, no doubt, as we continued our way to the cafeteria.

“I still don’t understand why they’re making such a big deal,” I whispered to Echo.

She laughed a little and basically repeated the same thing that Angel had told me. Echo laughed at my confused face. “You’ll understand when you have your first relationship.”

Right. Because being a single pringle somehow makes me unable to understand.



Sixth period rolled around, and I was more than happy to be sitting down. We basically spent all of lunch wandering around in the rain. It was nice, but in involved a little bit more walking than I’d have liked.

Blah. In some ways, the first week of school was my favorite for that exact reason. The fact that we did nothing, made things brighter for me, because it was those few days I could just relax for once in my life.

And then, the real work hits and I’m over stressed as fuck. So many AP classes and stuff that I really don’t want to do. That I have to do. And it’s back to barely any sleep and studying just about all the hours I’m home. Stressing over every miniscule detail…

God. Whoever said you’re supposed to enjoy high school, that it’s the most exciting and fun time of your life, was sadly mistaken.

This was probably going to be the only class I enjoyed. Art class. The one time I could do something I actually wanted to. Right now, people were filing in, sitting with friends and chatting about shit that probably isn’t important at all. The girls in the center of the room, flipping their hair as they gossiped about who was going out with who, what scandalous thing the captain of the basketball team did with the head cheerleader. The boys who acted like they were too good for anything, in the corner furthest from the teacher’s desk, laughing with their sunglasses on backwards. All of these people and their voices ricocheting off the walls.

And then, there was me. That one kid that you probably don’t know exists because she’s so quiet and always sits at the back corner of the room, so that she’s sure nobody’s bothering to look at what she’s doing.

I was looking out the window, absentmindedly drawing the scene before my eyes. Hardly looking at the paper as I drew the mountains. When I looked back down, I noted the picture looked somewhat decent. To my surprise, I actually managed to get the shading of the light clouds right. I’m definitely saving that one.

I flipped the page and started to draw again, not really thinking much about what I was doing. I noted when I glanced down, that I was beginning to sketch him yet again. I was thinking about the last person I’d wanted to.

What is wrong with me?

I looked around and of course nobody was paying attention to what I was doing. There was an empty seat on either side of me.

Was I really that unapproachable?

I guess so.

I glanced back down. Ah, what the hell. I decided to throw caution to the wind and continued my sketch, pencil roaming over the soft curve of his jaw.

I was shading in his tousled hair, when I heard the door open and a body step in. I didn’t bother to look up yet.

“Excuse me, sir.” The teacher spoke to him. “Are you in this class now?”

“Yes ma’am.” He said, walking over to her. I heard the shuffle of paper and the crinkling of what I presumed was a note.

I stiffened. That was his voice. I was sure of it. I took a breath, and looked up.

“Ah, very well. You may take a seat wherever you like.”

My eyes widened, and in a haste I shuffled my many papers into my book and closed it shut, in fear that he’d see my sketch and think I was a total weirdo.

What if he sits next to me?

I was sticking my book back into my bag, when I heard the scrape of the plastic chair against the linoleum and the shuffle of a body in the seat next to me.

When I looked back up, I was unsurprised to find my eyes were met by those brown ones.

He shot me one of those dazzling smiles. “Hi.”