I Never Dreamt Because I'm Just Too Busy

I drove to Stephen’s house, a little bit more anxious than I probably should’ve been.

I worried a lot, as much as I didn’t want to admit it, about what other people would think of me. What their first impression would say. I suppose it’s partially due to the way my parents raised me, the way they thought looks said so much about a person. I’m surprised actually, that I didn’t turn into one of those stuck up bitches my parents try to get me to talk to. With all the times they tried to force me to think that I was supposed to look like those other girls, I seriously am surprised that I’m not like them.

They bought me clothes I would never wear, gave me make overs I would never keep, no matter how expensive. I told them countless times that I was never going to act the way they did. The way they wanted to. And no matter what they ignored my words.

Bothersome. I can’t find any other word to describe it.

I wish with practically all my heart, that they would just accept me for who I am. It really bothers me more than I let it show that they don’t want me to be who I am.

I don’t know if I’ll ever live up to their standards.

And honestly, that scares me.

I shook the thought as I began to approach the Gomez household, noticing that there were two cars already there, and I assumed one of them wasn’t Stephen’s.

I pulled up to the curb and killed the engine, biting my lip.

I wasn’t sure how this was going to go, and that made me more anxious than I should have been.

Figuring that I should get out before I chickened and drove back home, I opened the door and steadily got out of the car.

I walked up to the door, and raised my arm to knock, hesitating a little. I shook my head. I can’t act like a scared little kid forever.

I knocked on the door softly, and was met by the face of a boy who I was fairly sure was Stephen’s little brother. I knew he had one, I’d seen them together a few times. I’m not sure what his name was, thought I know I’d heard it mentioned before.

He smiled politely at me, “Are you Anabelle?”

I returned the smile meekly, and the fact that he knew my name kind of shocked me. It also made me feel somewhat bad I didn’t know his. “Yeah.”

He stuck his hand out, “I’m John, Stephen’s little brother. Come inside.”

As I entered I noticed that their place was much more homey than mine. It looked lived in, and had this air of family to it that I can’t explain. The couches were adjacent to a television, and at the other side of the room was a fire place, with a few bookshelves on either side.
The whole thing seemed to have something comforting that mine seemed to lack. I was willing to bet that their family spent nights together, watching movies, or something of the sort. I wanted to say that they were very close to each other, but I couldn’t know for sure.
My house wasn’t like this at all. Everything was “modern”, the furniture and all the things on the walls. Don’t get me wrong, it was nice in a way. I just wished that everything in my house felt lived in, rather than stale and new.

“I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go get Stephen.” John smiled at me again. There was something about him that made me feel the need to return the smiles he shot me, and I’m not sure if it’s his persona or what.

“Okay.” I hesitantly walked over to the fireplace and began to look at the pictures on the mantle. It felt kind of weird for me to do so, seeing as we weren’t that close of friends. But what can I say? My curiosity got the best of me.

I laughed a little to myself, a small smile tugging at the corner of my lips.

There was a picture of who I assumed was a Stephen and a John, in child form, sitting in a bathtub with suds all over the place. Both of them were grinning ear to ear, and I could tell from that picture that this family was a whole world of different from mine.

It was adorable though, to say the least, but it made me think of the things I missed out on, having the family that I did.

“What are you looking at?” Stephen said into my ear.

I nearly jumped three feet in the air, I swear.

He only laughed, and pulled me into a hug like he had the other day.

“Jerk face.” I said into his chest, laughing myself, “You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“Oh please, Anabelle. Have you ever noticed you zone out a lot?”

He released me, “ I’ve been told that before.”

“You looked like you were really focused on that picture of my brother and I as kids,” Stephen said, raising an eyebrow, “Is there a reason for that?”

I bit my lip, “Yes, but…” There was a knock at the door.

“Tell me about it later?” Stephen asked hopefully.

“Maybe…”

He smiled a little, thinking that a maybe was better than nothing.

Stephen went to open the door, two boys and a girl appearing.

I supposed that they were part of the band he was in.

They walked into the living room, chatting amongst themselves. I kind of felt like an outsider, not knowing a single one of them. I noted that John was back downstairs as well, and I thought it was kind of cool that he was in the band as well. Stephen had informed me that the band consisted of five people.

He waved me over to the couches, patting the space next to him on the loveseat.

“Guys, this is Anabelle. Anabelle, this is Josh, Brian and Jess.” He pointed to a boy whose hair was dyed a platinum shade, another boy whose was a curly mass of blonde, and a girl who was a brunette like myself.

They all talked to me a little, catching the fact that I was a little bit more quiet than the rest of them. Jess smiled reassuringly at me, and I returned it.

They joked with one another, and I laughed a few times. They weren’t all that different from my friends, and I smiled at the thought.


I laughed a lot this past couple hours, a little bit more than I had been lately.

I could tell that I would be good friends with them all. They were kind of crazy, but in the right way.

As they all began to leave, they all said bye to me, and I was kind of surprised. I figured that they would have just left, as I wasn’t really that good of friends with them.

Jess gave me a one armed hug, the last of them to exit the house. “You’re really quiet. But I’ve seen you around your other friends, and you’re kind of strange. I like that,” She laughed, “It’s nice to have a new face around. You should talk to us more at school, we don’t bite.”

I smiled at her. I was definitely going to make it a point to talk to her more.

After Stephen closed the door, he turned around smiling at me.

“I told you they’d like you! You had nothing to worry about.”

“Yeah, yeah. Save the I told you so’s.”

Things were silent for a moment.

“I’m starving, what about you?” He asked me.

“I’m kind of hungry.”

“Wanna grab some pizza and we can talk about the project over that?”

“Only on one condition.”

He raised his eye brows, “What?”

“That we have it at Dion’s.”

Stephen laughed, “Deal.”