The Misadventures of Padfoot and Prongs

"Well, that was an experience," said Sirius as he and James walked out of a theater.

The other chuckled, "You didn't like the film, Padfoot?"

"You did, Prongs?" asked the taller of the two as he smirked.

"I think the wizard was quite convincing," James paused for a second, watching a couple teenage girls walk past them. He then turned back to his taller friend and copied his smirk. "Merlin! I wish I could have brilliant wizard powers like his!"

With that, James pointed his finger at a passerby, saying loudly, "PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!"

Sirius laughed loudly, "James, mate, I think you've had too much sugar!"

The other scoffed, "One cannot possibly have too much sugar, Sirius." James then stopped and looked right across the street to see a flow of red hair follow a young girl into a boutique. Getting excited (even more than usual thanks to the sugar high) the boy grabbed ahold of Sirius's shirt and dragged him to the small shop.

"What exactly are we doing, Prongs?" Sirius pulled his arm back a little in an attempt to get out of the messy-haired boy's death grip.

"I just saw Lily go into that shop," He said, weaving his way in between people.

"Aw, come on, mate!" Sirius finally jerked his arm away, causing James to stumble a bit. "You are going to see her tomorrow on the train! Tonight was about us! No girls, remember?"

James stopped and stared at the other, "Sirius, I'm sorry mate, but I just don't see you in that light…"

Sirius punched James in the arm, "You know what I mean, you git."

James chuckled as he rubbed his arm, "Anyways, let me just say hi and we can go to eat or something."

Sirius just nodded and followed James into the shop. They glanced around real quick before Sirius's eyes found the red head with her back to them. Smacking James on the arm, he pointed and the other boy placed a single finger to his lips.

Stealthily, James crept towards the girl, reaching her within a few seconds. Suddenly he grabs her waist, yelling out: "EVANS!" and turned her around, giving her a sloppy kiss on the lips.

When James pulled away to look in his beloved's beautiful almond-shaped green eyes, he was shocked to see that 'Evans' wasn't 'Evans' at all! In fact, this wasn't even a young girl, but a middle aged woman with crooked yellow and black teeth, a nose that had looked like it might have been broken at one point, drawn on eyebrows, too thin lips, and beady dark brown eyes. As well, the hair, he found, was nothing but a convincing wig!

Sirius roared with laughter, so much so that he had to hold onto a mannequin for support as tears poured down his cheeks and he grasped his stomach with his other hand.

James felt bile rise in his throat as the woman gazed up at him with what must have been her 'lusty look'. He swallowed hard and said, "I-I… you-you're not… SORRY!" He then bolted to freedom, grabbing Sirius on the way.

They made their way to The Leaky Cauldron, stopping for Sirius to catch his breath, as he was still laughing, and James to throw up every now and then whenever he really thought about what had happened.

As they entered the shabby pub, Sirius pulled the drama queen to an empty table. James sat, the slumped down in his chair, mumbling how he wasn't really that hungry any more. Of course, Sirius ignored him and order two butter beers and two meat pies for the both of them.

"It's not that bad, Prongs," Sirius said with a shrug, taking a swig from the warm drink that was placed in front of him.

"I wondered why it felt wrong," he said in a defeated voice. "Lily has plump pink lips."

This only caused Sirius to roar in laughter again at the image, "I do not envy you, Prongs!"

Eventually, Sirius was able to convince the sickened James to eat a bit, and the conversation changed with a blink of an eye and they began discussing Quidditch.

"If I ever make it to a professional level, and I give up on Lily Evans, I'm joining the Holyhead Harpies!" James said, with a nod of his head.

"Yeah, Prongs, I think you'll fit right in," Sirius teased, taking the dream of being surrounded by all girls in a locker room away from James, "You do have a more… feminine physique!"

"I do not!" James spoke indignantly. "And what about you! You have longer hair than most girls!"

"You're over exaggerating," Sirius scoffed, "I do not."

"Yes you do!" James exclaimed, "It grown past your shoulders, mate. So if anyone looks like a girl, it you."

Suddenly, an idea popped in Sirius's head, "Hey James, would you like to place a little wager on that statement?"

James narrowed his eyes at his friend, but he wasn't one to back down from a challenge, especially from one Sirius Black!

James finally spoke up, "Alright, what do you have in mind?"

"Both of us dress up as girls the first weekend we have at Hogwarts, and take polls on who looks the most like a girl," Sirius explained, "We can discuss rules and everything with Moony tomorrow, but we both have to try to look as convincing as possible. Full out drag, mate! We'll get a couple of the girls to help us out, and Remus and Peter will make sure each of us is competing to the best of their abilities. Then we'll set up either the Great Hall or the courtyard as one of those beauty pageant things."

James smirked, "Alright, you have a bet, mate. But what are we waging against?"

"Ten galleons?" Sirius offered.

"Oh no, this has got to be big," James crossed his arms, as several ideas floated in his head.