The Misadventures of Padfoot and Prongs

The next day, James and Sirius sat in a compartment upon the Hogwarts Express, with Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Both Peter and Remus stared at the two best friends.

"A beauty pageant?" Remus asked, incredulously. James and Sirius just grinned bigger and nodded. "You do realize that people already suspect that the two of you are lovers, right? This isn't going to help that."

"Awe, Moony, lighten up!" James said, "We run this school because we don't care what other's think!"

"Alright, James, if you both are sure," they both nodded. "Then I guess I'm in. What about you, Peter?"

Peter looked up from his box of Bertie Botts, "Of course!"

"Great!" Sirius spoke up, "So we need to lay down some rules. I was-"

Sirius was interrupted by the sliding door opening to reveal Lily Evans. James, still not forgetting the old woman, blushed and sunk farther in his seat and Sirius began laughing again, remembering the incident too. Peter, Remus, and Lily looked at the two with questioning eyes, but Sirius just told the two boys that he would tell them later.

"Right," Lily said, still eyeing the quiet and embarrassed James. This was a side she hadn't seen of him, and Lily was tempted to ask what miracle happened to cause James Potter to shut his mouth.

Instead, she turned right back to Remus, "Prefects have a meeting to attend."

Remus nodded and quickly followed her out, shutting the compartment door behind him.

"Bollocks. I was hoping Remus would help us with the rules," said Sirius. "No matter. We can get started without him," Clasping his hands together in front of him, he leaned forward. "Now, I was thinking that the first rule we need is: No bribery. We're not allowed to bribe someone to say that the other looks more like a girl. Can we all abide by this?"

James looked as though he hadn't even heard him. He was staring out the window, watching the trees wiz by in a blur of green. Sirius shook his shoulder.

"Mate, come on, focus. Now isn't the time to daydream about Evans," said Sirius.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" James asked him, but it was Peter who replied.

"Sirius wants to add a no bunging rule," he said, gulping down another handful of jellybeans.

"So I can't pay people to say you look the most like a girl?"

"Precisely," said Sirius with a nod.

"Bleeding..." James murmured with a smirk. "Fine, rule 2: You must wear a dress! Not a skirt, a dress!"

"If I have to, you have to too, you git," Sirius said with a laugh, "So wipe that smirk off your bloody face!"

"Oh, I know I'll have to wear one as well, but it will be worth it to see you in one, mate," James grabbed one of Peter's jellybeans and popped it into his mouth. His face screwed up in a grimace and he quickly swallowed it.

"What flavor did you get?" Sirius asked, trying not to laugh.

"Black licorice," James answered in distaste.

"WHAT?" Sirius roared in laughter. "I thought you got earwax! Merlin, James! That face for black licorice?"

"I hate black licorice," James said with a shrug. "So do you agree with rule two?"

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius waved his hand.

"Merlin! He already is turning into a girl!" James and Peter started laughing.

"Okay, rule three," Sirius chose to ignore the comment. "We're not allowed to do our own make-up. A girl's gotta do it for us, and she needs to be neutral."

"I can agree on that. I bet I'd be rubbish at putting that stuff on," said James.

"Honestly, James, I'd be a touch worried about you if you weren't rubbish at it," said Sirius.

They laughed a bit more and then set out to create more rules; Peter wrote them down on a bit of parchment he pulled out of his school trunk.

By the time Remus got back, they decided on only five stipulations.

1. Each contestant must wear a dress, have their hair done (in Sirius's case) or wear a wig, and wear makeup.

2. No bribing of any kind is allowed.

3. The make-up must be applied and hair must be fixed by a girl.

4. Each contestant must talk in a high pitched voice.

5. Remus must approve everything to keep order.

Remus pulled the paper away from his eyes, "When is this happening again?"

"Second weekend back at Hogwarts," said Sirius. "We'll need time to prepare and find a girl willing to participate."

"Any ideas who?" Remus asked.

"What about Lily?" Peter suggested, causing Sirius to laugh and James to scowl.

"Like Lily would help us with anything!" Sirius said.

"I had forgotten about Lily.. What'll she think when I dress up like a girl?" James wondered.

"That you're even more unappealing to her than you already are?" Remus said, laughing at the look he received from James. "I'm just joking, Prongs. What'll the wager be?"

"Whoever wins gets seven Galleons from the loser and the loser has to do something highly embarrassing. Something that has not yet been decided on." said James.

Remus stifled a laugh, imagining what they would get themselves into this time, when an idea sturck him like lightening.

"Snog McGonagall," Remus said with a smirk to rival Sirius' own.

"Snog McGonagall?" Sirius raised his eyebrow, "Look, mate, I don't think Prongs can take snogging another old hag this month!"

"Wait, what? Another?" Remus asked, thinking he must have heard Sirius wrong.

"Oh, that's right, we didn't tell you." Sirius smirked and looked at James, who was now sinking lower in his seat with embarrassment. "James and I flew that motorbike I bought to London last night. James thought he saw Lily go into a store, so he dragged me in there with him and ended up snogging a haggard-looking old woman with a red wig on!"

The whole compartment exploded into laughter, save James, who was blushing so bad it could've been mistaken for a sunburn.

"Yeah, mates! Go on and laugh at my pain," James pouted, earning a smack on the back from Sirius.

"Cheer up, mate! It's not like you kissed a guy!" Sirius grinned down at the glaring James.

"Well it might as well been," he grumbled.

It wasn't long before the Hogwarts Express pulled into the station at Hogsmeade. The marauders had just finished putting on their school robes when they were told to exit the train. Peter, having hurried to get dressed, accidentally put his sweater-vest on backwards and hadn't even noticed. The group of them hopped off the train and walked over to the carriages waiting to take them up to the castle.

Once they arrived at the large front doors, they were led inside and taken to the Great Hall. Sirius, James, Remus and Peter all sat together at the Gryffindor table, James strategically placed do he could look at Lily without making it obvious.

As the Ravenclaws took their seats, Sirius caught the eye of a sixth year girl with medium-length wavy brown hair and bright blue eyes. She smiled and waved at him as she sat down on the bench. Sirius nodded in greeting and then turned back to his friends.

"Mates, I think I found ourselves a girl!"