The Misadventures of Padfoot and Prongs

"Okay guys, I'm back," Lyra's voice spoke through the mirror. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Sirius smiled down at her, "Of course. Sweet dreams, Lyra."

"G'night Sirius, boys," Lyra said before her side of the mirror disconnected.

Sirius looked up to see James press his ear to the portrait, while trying to hold a black hat stable atop his tucked-in long hair. "What are-"

"Pipe down!" James interrupted, "I hear someone walking around, and judging by the time, I can almost bet it's Evans."

Remus looked a bit worried, "What do we do?"

"You both go in first," said James, "Keep under the cloak. I'll follow and get her back in bed."

"Mate, we know you want-"

"Not now, Sirius!" James slipped out of the cloak and told The Fat Lady the password, "Okay, both of you, go in."

Silently as possible, Sirius and Remus climbed in, giving the table to the side a light tap to signal it was safe for James to come through. Taking a deep breath, James crawled through the portrait hole to come face to face with a very pissed off Lily Evans.

"Oh, hello Lily, dear," James said, smiling as innocently as possible as he re-adjusted the hat. "I was just heading to bed-"

"Not until you tell me what you're up too, Potter," she spoke in a harsh whisper, her green eyes blazed with anger. Taking a good look at his face, however, the anger slightly subsided and she scrunched her face up in confusion, "Do...Are you wearing eyeliner? And why are you wearing a hat?"

"Nothing," James said, "Just taking a walk around the castle. Remus decided my hair was too long and gave me a horrible haircut. And, yes, I am wearing eyeliner. Sirius thought that I needed some today. Said it would make my hazel eyes pop a bit or something."

Lily glared at him, not quiet believing a word he spoke, said, "I should throw you in detention-"

"As long as you'll be there-"

"James Potter, you say just one perverted sentence, and I will definitely throw you into detention!"

James looked down at her, "So you're letting me go?"

"Even though you broke the rules and were out past curfew, Black wasn't with you so I can trust that tomorrow no one is getting hurt," she explained. "But if I catch you again-"

"I know, I know. Detention," he finished, adding a smirk. "G'night Lily."

James walked up towards his dorms, hearing a soft, "G'night, James," before he entered the room.

"Did she take away any House Points?" Remus asked as James headed toward his four-poster.

"No. She didn't," James answered, "But she did notice the leftover eyeliner around my eyes."

"What did you tell her?" Sirius smirked as he questioned.

"That you thought I needed some to make my eyes pop," Sirius nodded in response and rolled back over in bed, throwing the comforter over his head. The other two copied Sirius' actions, getting comfortable in the warm beds.

As he fell into a deep slumber, James Potter smiled, realizing that he was starting to grow on one pretty little redhead sleeping down the hall.

The next morning was Saturday, the designated day for the pageant, and the boys-including Peter- and Lyra were running around the Room of Requirement getting the two ready for their debut.

"Okay, make-up and dresses are first on the list. Go put the dresses on, and I'll get the make-up ready," Lyra commanded, walking to one of the vanities. Swiftly she placed everything she would need for Sirius on the table, including a grey head band. Next, Lyra moved to the vanity next to the one she was at and placed everything she would need for James upon that one.

"Dressed!" yelled Sirius and James at the same time. Lyra turned to see them both in their respective dresses from last night and matching jewelry. Each wore pleather knee-high boots; Sirius in a pair of black ones, and James in white.

They were a sight to behold!

Lyra suppressed giggles, "Alright, Sirius, you first."

Sirius sat in front of her and Lyra went to work on making him absolutely stunning. She was slightly impressed that he didn't blink as much as the previous night, and finished within ten minutes.

James, who feared having even worse eyesight than he already did, stayed as still as possible, allowing Lyra to complete his make-up in less time than Sirius'.

"Alright," Remus said, "Dresses, make-up, necklaces, bracelets, boots... Anything else?"

"Yeah," said Lyra as she kept herself from smacking her face, "We forgot to advertise!"

"Merlin!" Sirius exclaimed, jumping up-and nearly falling because of his boots- from his seat, "What the bloody hell are we going to do?!"

Remus thought for a second, and then it was like a light flickered on in his head. "I got an idea! But you two-" he pointed to Sirius and James, "-need to wait here until dinner."

"Why then?" James asked, feeling slightly uncomfortable in the boots, and hot with the long hair.

"Because Peter, Lyra and myself are going to give you an undisrupted opportunity to take the Great Hall by storm," Remus replied with a smirk.

James spoke up, "That's seven hours away, mate!"

"I'm sure two lovely ladies such as yourselves can think of a couple things to do for seven hours," Lyra giggled after she spoke.

"Like what?!" James spoke frantically, and looked from Sirius and the other three. "There are no books in here, no Wizard's Chess, no food!"

"I'll bring you food," said Remus, "As for a chess set and books, just ask and the room will provide it. Although I don't think either of you will play or read for very long. Just take a seat and relax for a while, mates. I'll be back in thirty minutes."

Remus motioned for Lyra and Peter to follow him out, while Sirius and James took a seat in the large armchairs.

"Well... what should we do now?"

It was now noon and Remus and Lyra sat in the Great Hall at the Gryffindor table, whispering excitedly back and forth. Peter sat next to Remus, but he was so consumed in the food in front of him to really care about getting into the conversation.

Lily Evans watched from the other end of the table, curiously wondering where the more devious half of the quartet had gone. She debated with herself for a minute, before she decided that she should go over there and see what, exactly, is going on.

And besides, if anyone knew where Potter and Black are and what they were up too, it'd be Remus Lupin.

Lily finished the last little bit of potatoes on her plate, dabbed her lips delicately, and removed herself from her place at the table.

Her walk to Remus was short, "Alright, Remus?"

The young man looked up, "Alright. And you, Lily?"

She nodded her response, taking in his guarded stance. "I was wondering where Potter and Black were," she said, looking at Lyra in confusion, as she was still wondering why they had a sudden interest in the Ravenclaw. Turning her green orbs back to Remus, she spoke again, "They never seem to miss a meal unless they plan on hexing someone."

Remus and Lyra smirked (Peter was still too busy stuffing his face to even care), and Remus answered Lily, "Don't worry about a thing, Lily. They aren't planning anything that will cause anyone harm."

"Well, where are they?" she said, getting frustrated.

"Not sure," replied Lyra.

"Not sure?" Lily scoffed. "Really, I doubt that. Remus, when you come to your senses, you better stop them from whatever they're planning. Lyra, you're a sweet girl, just be careful with what James Potter and Sirius Black ask of you. They aren't as brilliant as they make themselves out to be."

Lily turned without another word and walked out of the Great Hall. Once the door closed behind her, Lyra turned towards the two boys and said, "Why does Lily hate James and Sirius so much?"

Remus just shrugged his shoulders, "Not sure, mate. I think it started first year, when Sirius and James hexed Severus Snape."

"They were friends?" Lyra asked, "Severus Snape and Lily Evans that is."

"Oh, yes," said Remus, "The best of friends. Up until last year, when-"

"Snape called her a-" Lyra paused and leaned in closer to Remus, and dropped her voice to a whisper, "A... mudblood."

Remus nodded solemnly, "I still feel bad for Lily. No one should be called something so.. So-"

"Vile?" Lyra offered.

"Precisely," he said.

Lyra pursed her lips, "So, why doesn't she like James now? She isn't friends with Severus any more, and James sure is in love with her." Remus raised an eyebrow at her statement.

"I've never been able to understand the way a woman's mind works, so I'm not going to try now. It's just too confusing. There should be a book explaining all the mental things girls do," said Remus

"I'll get right on that," said Lyra, smiling.

After they were done eating, Lyra, Remus and Peter left the Great Hall in search of an empty classroom to use. When they found one, they hurried inside and locked the door. Lyra found a blank piece of parchment on a desk, so she took a quill and ink bottle out of a pocket in her robes.

"You carry those with you all the time?" asked Peter.

"Can't say I'm surprised," said Remus. "She is a Ravenclaw."

"Okay, so what do we want them to say?" Lyra asked. "Just put small boxes next to each of their names to be checked off?

"That sounds good to me," said Remus. He looked like he was about to begin speaking again when a thought suddenly hit him. "Bollocks. We forgot to feed James and Sirius. Peter, do you think you could run to the kitchens and pick up some lunch for them? We'll get started on these while you're gone."

"Of course I can!" he said eager to please. "I'll go right now," Peter left the room happily, excited to finally be of some use to everyone.

"Alright, so how are we going to make enough ballots for everyone when we only have one piece of parchment?" asked Remus, looking dubiously at the sheet of paper.

"I'll show you," she said, dipping the tip of the quill into the ink well. "Tear that paper into fourths, will you? That's it," Remus tore the paper as she directed and handed her one of the pieces. Taking the tip of her quill out of the ink, she began to write the names of their two friends in elegant script. Next, she drew a single box beside each name for their peers to mark. Once that was done, Lyra took out her wand and brandished her wand at the paper saying "Gemenio,"

The paper multiplied once before their eyes. There were now two identical pieces of paper on the desk before them. She handed Remus one of them and said, "We better start working,"

James and Sirius sat slumped in the lounge chairs, stomachs grumbling. Every now and then one of them would moan and either complain that he was starving to death or shift uncomfortably in their dresses.

"James," Sirius said as he threw a lazy arm to smack his friend. "Mate, I think we'll die in here."

Just then, the door opened and in walked Peter Pettigrew, food piled in his arms.

"Peter!" James exclaimed, "You're a lifesaver, mate. We were fading away to nothing over here!" he ran over to Peter, closely followed by Sirius, and grabbed some food from his arms, shoving it in his mouth as fast as he could.

"Thanks so much, Peter," Sirius said, putting a piece of bread into his mouth. Peter smiled importantly and bid them farewell before heading out of the room and back down to the empty classroom Remus and Lyra were in.

"I wonder what they're doing," Sirius wondered aloud.

"Don't know, don't care," James responded and shoved more food into his mouth. "Merlin! I thought I was going to starve to death!"

"Mhmm," Sirius agreed with a stuffed mouth. He swallowed and continued, "And to think we almost died without ever going out for one last run."

"Or before I got Lily to finally agree to go out with me," James said, shoving a meat pie down his throat. Or attempting to at least, as the thing was bigger than his mouth,

"Seriously, James," said the other, "You really need to cut your losses, mate. She isn't playing bloody 'hard-to-get'; she genuinely wants nothing to do with you."

James suddenly placed his food down and stared hard at Sirius. After a minute, he spoke up, "Do you really think so, Padfoot?"

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked.

"Do you really think she wants nothing to do with me?" Sirius looked at his best friend a bit more closely, studying his broken expression.

"Bloody hell," said Sirius, as finally everything came together. The constant staring, the attention getting, how he always asked her out; all this that James did for Lily's attention wasn't because James had a school-boy crush on her, or just wanted to sleep with her. Sirius thought back to a couple nights ago, when James raced out of their dorm room to Lily when a crash was heard. He did it without a second thought. And Sirius had never seen James so angry with anyone as he was with Snape when he called Lily that filthy word which caused tears to rim her beautiful green eyes.

"You're in love with her, aren't you?" James nodded. "I mean, here I thought it was a silly- James, mate, we need a plan."

"A plan?" the boy asked, slightly worried.

"Yes!" Sirius said, getting a bit riled (which was quite a sight to see as he was still in full drag). "You should've told me earlier! If you're in love, you need to do whatever you can to win the girl over!"

James smiled and his mood immediately brightened. "Alright! So what's the plan?"

Sirius stood there, stumped. How was he to help his best friend get the love of his life when he had yet to even be graced by love?

"I'm not sure, mate," Sirius reasoned. "But we'll figure out a way. By this time next year, Lily Evans will be yours!"

James smiled brighter. The smile then faded a bit, before a full belly-bursting laughter came over him. Sirius looked dumbfounded at his friend.

"What? Were you lying when you said that you were in love with Evans?" James shook his head no, still not able to talk, caused by the laughter. "Then what?!"

James took a big breath, and said, "Look at us! We're in dresses, have make-up on, wearing these ridiculous boots, and we're talking about my love life!" James took another breath and yelled out, "We're such girls!"

Sirius joined in, laughing at the absurdity of the moment. As close as James and Sirius were, they never really talked about their feelings. However, their less than masculine attire seemed to be affecting their personalities as well.

"While we're on the subject," James said, turning back to Sirius. "What about you? Do you fancy anyone?"

"Well, I'm certainly not in love with anyone if that's what you're asking," said Sirius.

"I think I'd know it if you were in love with someone. I can recognize the signs," James laughed. "But really, has anyone caught your eye?" he persisted. Sirius shrugged and shook his head no. "Really? No one? Not even a certain Ravenclaw friend of ours?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Does every female friend I make have to be anything more than a friend?"

"When you're concerned? Yes," James laughed at Sirius' narrowed eyes. "I'm only joking. But honestly, Sirius, 'Sweet dreams, Lyra'? I mean, come on, I'm not that thick. Give me a little credit." Sirius sighed, thinking of how to word what he wanted to say.

"I admit I do find her attractive. And I like her personality. But that doesn't mean I fancy her. She's just a really good friend, is all," Sirius said.

"You know, its one thing to lie to me, mate. It's another to lie to yourself," said James, looking at his friend with a sad, knowing smile. "Just think it over. I can see you settling down with a girl like Lyra."

Sirius snorted, "Yeah, so I can be a love sick puppy like you. Just what I always dreamed about! Becoming James Potter!"

"Well, you're already halfway there. We just need you to fall in love," James retorted.
"And I know I'm in your dreams, you moan my name louder than you moaned when Lyra ran her fingers through your hair. Oh, and last I checked, you were the puppy, not me."

"I'm no puppy," said Sirius. "I'm a dog, and I should have every right to act like one."

"So you're gonna hump everything that moves?" James just ducked out of the way as Sirius chucked a pillow at him. "Ooh, I think I struck a nerve!" he laughed. Sirius threw another pillow, this time succeeding at smacking him in the head.

James threw the pillow back, yelling, "Not my hair, you git! Do you know how long this took to fix?"

Sirius laughed and then shrugged, changing the subject to one James could talk forever about, second only to Evans: Quidditch.